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soochi
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Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant)
#9612217 - 01/15/09 12:00 AM (15 years, 16 days ago) |
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So tonight's episode saw the demise of the ariane "the Panther" although I thought she was genuinely a nice person, I did agree with the judges decision that a top chef should know how to debone a leg of lamb properly (it's one of the first things you do in butchery class) as well as tie it neatly and evenly (this leaves me skeptical as to the process in which Bravo picks its candidates to be in each season, and yes I know it boils down to good tv, personally I would have gotten rid of one of her other team mates the "enablers" because let's face it Ariane's days were numbered anyway) It was ironic that the viewers thought that her team "honored the protein" the best yet was the losing team. Shows the kind of taste most people that watch top chef have.
Overall, I don't see anyone in the current roster that really stands out skill level wise (unlike the previous seasons), but I think it will boil down to Don Johnson (the blond dude) and the two Europeans, and if the black chick makes another "pie" I'm going to shoot myself- OK you can make a great pastry crust, we get it, and what's with the new judge Toby constantly using these lame anecdotes to describe the food? Just please tell us what you liked and disliked, why, and move on. I don't need a goddamn limerick each time you feel like playing the "Simon Cowell" of top chef.
I still don't understand what Padma is doing there? Do you have a restaurant? NO. Have you ever? NO. Have you actually cooked anything in the past five years? NO. You did one friggin season of "Melting Pot" on FoodTV and all of a sudden you can consider yourself a judge of all things culinary? Shows just how far good looks gets you in life. Maybe I should get plastic surgery?
and do you really need to be told that roasting meat with fat and bone-in will taste better than deboned and defatted meat? Top Chef? Hello?- Why didn't anyone think of using the lesser parts of all the animals (lamb/Pig brains and tongue,trotters, cheeks, chicken oysters, cocks combs and liver?) I mean if you really want to "honor" the protein you would find a way to utilize every part of the animal and highlight the different tastes and techniques you've used to cook it.
I noticed no one thought to use the Paco Jet that was in Dan Barber's kitchen, freshly churned ice cream ala minute anyone? apparently it was 85F outside when they taped that episode and I'm sure they have terrific dairy, eggs and obviously fruit at Stone Barns, a wasted opportunity or maybe they thought it was a bar blender? Call me racist but I still think Hung is the best Top Chef to date, his skill, experience and speed have set the bar of talent and expertise pretty high.
It's funny how the Italian didn't want to do anything complicated like "Indian" or "Italian" but went ahead and made ravioli, being an Italian testosterone laden alpha male I'm surprised he didn't put his cock on a bun and served it to every attractive lady at the picnic. He's the male version of Padma. Spherical olives have already been done to death, especially in NYC so no, it won't get you that much attention if that's the only ace up your sleeve (isn't that right Marcel?)
I predict the Indian girl will get the boot next episode, doesn't seem much of a leader or a good cook. Sorry if the following seemed a little scatterbrained, I'm a little high.
Now time for "IYAN SHEEEEEEEEV!!!" (the real version)
Edit: added paragraphs; none of the content was changed.
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
Edited by Seuss (01/16/09 05:03 AM)
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chobumms
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9612257 - 01/15/09 12:10 AM (15 years, 16 days ago) |
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yeah, fuck indian food...
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[/url] My "Faster Germination For Popcorn Substrate" TEK http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8428361#8428361
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9616116 - 01/15/09 05:28 PM (15 years, 15 days ago) |
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NOOOOOOOOOO why did i open this thread
i just started watching the episode and the first line killed me.....
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9616658 - 01/15/09 06:39 PM (15 years, 15 days ago) |
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Toby Young is fucking annoying as hell.
I think if there's one chef who really stands out it's Stefan. He's been the most consistent competitor to date. Jeff is pretty talented but he does over complicate alot of his dishes.
I actually like Fabio. But that's just because i'm an Italian food whore. And the things he says are pretty funny. "Martha, my grandma would be so ashamed of you"...
ANd yes, Padma will always be Padma. I liked the last episode because her opinion and input wasn't even used in any of the clips.
I remember when Padma tried to suggest scallops being out of season, Martha Stewart schooled her ass by saying "yes we go scallop fishing in January".
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9618311 - 01/15/09 11:19 PM (15 years, 15 days ago) |
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also, i think you meant TOP Chef, not Iron Chef. 
SHit man, if Hiroyuki Sakai was on Top Chef, he would rape the competition, but nobody would understand what he was saying.
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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Seuss
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: LiquidSmoke]
#9619339 - 01/16/09 05:00 AM (15 years, 15 days ago) |
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> also, i think you meant TOP Chef, not Iron Chef. 
Yep. I was about to type the same thing.
> Why didn't anyone think of using the lesser parts of all the animals
They weren't given the option. When they walked into the kitchen, the protein they had to work with had already been selected for them.
I was surprised there was no fresh/raw milk on the farm. Something like fresh mozzarella cheese would have been clever.
> I predict the Indian girl will get the boot next episode
I think she was pretty close to going on this episode. If not her, then Carla.
Both Leah and Hosea are safe for a bit 'cause they have the fling going on... good ratings.
Both Jamie and Stefan are safe for a bit for the same reason.
I think the producers like Fabio, or his accent, so he is probably safe for a bit.
Next to go... Carla, Radhika, and Mike.
It seems like the producers are gunning for Mike, but he keeps producing the best of the worst dishes, thus they can't axe him.
> I think if there's one chef who really stands out it's Stefan.
I would agree.
Overall, I am not very impressed with the "talent" this season.
-------------------- Just another spore in the wind.
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soochi
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: Seuss]
#9620281 - 01/16/09 10:16 AM (15 years, 15 days ago) |
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yes, sorry, Top chef, but afterwards I did watch Iron chef on FLN.
> Why didn't anyone think of using the lesser parts of all the animals
They weren't given the option. When they walked into the kitchen, the protein they had to work with had already been selected for them.
-I meant using the lesser parts of the animals they were given. The lamb was whole, head and all, and I'm sure if someone brought it up they would have given them the pig and chicken heads/parts. I just don't think none of them realized that the freshness of the ingredients was really all they needed, the lamb was hopelessly butchered both physically and as a dish, Coliccio keeps bringing it up but it is true-few of these competitors are confident in their skills/dishes and in this episodes case, ingredient as well, which is a shame and a disgrace especially to the farmers that spend their lives rearing spectaular ingredients. The chicken team had spectacular eggs, this was the time for the blond chick to do her salad and show off the freshness of the eggs (or at least a frittata) hot consomme in 85F weather?? c'mon? I would have used the consomme to make a jellied terrine.
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: Seuss]
#9626007 - 01/17/09 11:59 AM (15 years, 14 days ago) |
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who the hell is mike?
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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Seuss
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: LiquidSmoke]
#9628054 - 01/17/09 07:15 PM (15 years, 13 days ago) |
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> who the hell is mike?
Slip of the keyboard... Jeff... (Donno where mike came from...)
> I meant using the lesser parts of the animals they were given. The lamb was whole, head and all
I just went back and rewatched and you are correct. It looked like one was whole and one was just a part. I had missed the whole one. The pork appeared the same as well.
-------------------- Just another spore in the wind.
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soochi
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9655834 - 01/21/09 10:53 PM (15 years, 9 days ago) |
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New Episode spoiler.
Did I call this one or what?? Radika gets the boot. Bottom line is weak people don't make good chefs even if you can cook, because it's more than cooking once you attain the moniker of "chef" something that doesn't dawn on people when they first get into this business. (and a monkier that most people don't deserve).
Anywho, FYI ginger has an enzyme that prevents the protein in gelatin from setting (acutually it breaks it down, much like papain is used in meat tenderizers, and intrestingly enough can be used to "clean" you out if a drug test is in your horizon) so it was a good move on Stephanes part to add more gelatin, of course it could have saved him considerable time if he knew this from the beginning.
I think the biggest mistake the two chef owners made was picking their team based on emotion. My team would have been fabio and stephane, with fabio front of house and jeff in the back cooking since he doesn't seem to have that much of an issue cooking with Stephane. Fabio was the perfect choice for front of house because you know that guy was going to be packin' a nice Armani suit, bring on the charm and have a nice eye for interior decorating.
Coliccio brought up a good point in Karla's desserts that she should have just rolled with the punches and changed it to a cold yogurt soup with fruit, as Tom said it's the expectation of "frozen yogurt" that let them down when served almost melted (and without silverware) much like the blond chick's disasterous results with her raw duck egg for the TV demo, in that case Tom told her "you should have just flipped it." Too many times you see competitors stick to only what they know or want to do most of the time; that they're not thinking two steps ahead in case of a fuck up.
And what was with that tomato water? soggy fish doesn't look or sound appealing and no matter how well trained a waiter is, trying to carry four plates of water brimmed food isn't easy for anyone. Why not thicken it with starch (or xanthan, but I doubt anyone brought any, where's Marcel?? ) or mount it with a sundried tomato butter to give some semblence of body, or maybe reduce it and run it through a coffee filter, this would have concentrated the tomato flavor and gave it more body. Tomato water initself should have been the amuse bouche, maybe with a mini grilled cheese (oops, that's French Laundry my friends...) or clear gazpacho??
I don't know, anyway, discuss...
P.S. grilled salmon won't win you anything.
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9655848 - 01/21/09 10:55 PM (15 years, 9 days ago) |
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hahaha thanks for the spoiler alert
i think it's funny how Joseah and Leah are having this love thing going on, but fail to realize their respective lovers will be watching the show.
what the hell were they thinking...
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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soochi
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: LiquidSmoke]
#9655917 - 01/21/09 11:05 PM (15 years, 9 days ago) |
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Yeah, a pointless tangent. Unless they're fuckin' don't even bring it up. If your going to do shit for TV make it juicy, figurative and literally
They're not brain dead, you have TV cameras all over that apartment and I'm sure some waiver signage is part and parcel of being on the show.
Karla's next on my boot list. Funny how the teaser for the next episode apparently shows Fabio telling Scott Conant off about acidic pairings with cheese (that'll be a riot)
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9663765 - 01/23/09 07:30 AM (15 years, 8 days ago) |
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here's a thought,
you should tryout for the show.
i mean yeah you're busy with alot of things, obviously, but that's just the type of person they want on the show.
Shit, if I watch a season with some philipino dude busting out crazy desert dishes, i know who i'll be watching.
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9664998 - 01/23/09 12:27 PM (15 years, 8 days ago) |
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now that i saw the episode on youtube and read your rant...
Have you noticed that in almost every season, whenever people not named "Hung" decide to make asian dishes, they completely fuck it up?
This is the one thing that still botheres me tremendously is the lack of familiarity with asian cuisine.
Likewho the FUCK eats sashimi with eggrolls? That was just plain absurd. P.F. Chang worthy.
Nice call on Radhika. I did not see that one coming. At first I thought Leah would go, then I thought Carla would go.
Carla was lashing out and showing her true bitchier side when the judges were prickking at her, that was notable.
I'm riding this Stefan boat all the way to the finals. Ever since the first episode when he completely outcooked the competition on the elimination challenge.
THat guy is just plain clutch. He has now won more elimination challenges than anyone else on the show. I loved how he finished his desert dishes with those lollipops. There's so much detail and intricacy with his dishes, and a nice creative mixture of ingredients and components. I also enjoyed his sense of ethnicity, bringing the german and Scandinavian dishes on occasion.
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9700773 - 01/29/09 04:05 PM (15 years, 1 day ago) |
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this past episode was pretty weak.
somehow they're trying to emphasize the regionality of American cuisines.
New York Regionality? Give me a break. If they really wanted to capture the essence of New York regionality, the ingrediants would have included crusted hobo urine from the subway and Hudson River water.
They had Camille on the show though. She is by far the hottest girl to ever be on Top Chef. Gawd i'd love to impregnate her....
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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soochi
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: LiquidSmoke]
#9703352 - 01/29/09 11:28 PM (15 years, 1 day ago) |
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Yeah, I think Stephan is going to win. James was bound to be kicked out; I mean, how many savory sorbets was he going to do? His food never really looked "composed" both conceptually and visually- Probably the stupidest way to get kicked out of Top Chef! Again, no show of tact or a willingness to adapt their style or philosophy to the challenge. I guess he'll go back to working at the Dildo Beach Club.
Please.
Please.
Don't start with the Asian food. I'm still perpelxed to people that think ass-burning hot food is actually palatable? You taste nothing but a transgeminal response to pain.
Yes, apparently having bok choy and rice noodles is considered "Chinese" (couldn't they have picked a little better of a CIA student? I mean really; I knew plenty of people that went there that were actually talented, so they go off and pick the gayest, greenest, most lackluster cook of the school??) What people don't understand is that most truly authentic Asian food isn't really favored by most western palates and/or visual tastes. So what most people are exposed to is watered-down mainstream crap. Other than Vegas, your just not going to find a decent Asian restaurant or ethnic community far from the shores, Asian food relies heavily on seafood, fresh vegetables and herbs and the barren wheat fields of nebraska just isn't the place where your likely to run into decent Asian food of any origin (and let's not get into Japanese, which to me is a seperate subject altogether). One piece of advice: If an ethnic restaurant is chock full of those very same ethnic people, it's probably good.
Yeah, NYC regionality?? That's a given, you could've done anything so long as it was good.
By the way "Cioppino" is pronounced "Cho-pee-no" not "cheeo-peeno" just like "Giovanni" is "Joe-vani" not "Geeyo-vani" the latter pronounciations are the bastardized American versions.
Next episode I'm betting on Carla or Mr. Clean for the boot
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
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Chespirito
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9824128 - 02/19/09 01:09 AM (14 years, 11 months ago) |
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I live in LA county and have been to Fabio's restaurant. The food there is good, though honestly not amazing. The man knows his way around pasta, he has great appetizers, cooks his stuff well but overall it's solid italian food but nothing Id go out of my way for. He has a pork chop there that was cooked really well but the flavoring was bland, sort of a blackened spice rub on the outside that just tasted somewhat burnt with no good spice flavor coming through. Ill have to make the drive back there at some point to try out some other things, the man makes great martinis though.
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Seuss
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9824615 - 02/19/09 03:50 AM (14 years, 11 months ago) |
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> I'm still perpelxed to people that think ass-burning hot food is actually palatable? You taste nothing but a transgeminal response to pain.
That is difference between good asian food and the rest. (disclaimer, not all asian food is hot) It is hard to make a good dish that is both hot and has flavors to taste.
> One piece of advice: If an ethnic restaurant is chock full of those very same ethnic people, it's probably good.
Agree completely. I love to find a "hole in the wall" that serves authentic food that most people would be afraid to enter. I don't mean a dirty place, but an out of the way place that serves authentic food to the locals rather than the tourists.
-------------------- Just another spore in the wind.
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soochi
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: Chespirito]
#9827250 - 02/19/09 03:45 PM (14 years, 11 months ago) |
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Italians do have a penchant for overly sweet desserts and drinks. You'd also be surprised to find that most Italians can't actually cook and their view of "rusticity" is often mistaken for a lazy approach to cooking in general. I think fabio should have taken a more Sicilian style approach to his cooking on the last episode; and why does Stephane think he knows more about indiginous American food than josiah and james? especially james? to say a french chef would spice a fish the same as a creole or cajun chef is just idiotic, it's also funny how he was dissing on Josiah's gumbo, when in fact he made the most authentic of the group? Personally I think James should have won, and stephane and fabio should have went home. I give props to Carla for hanging in there and upping her game as the challenges got closer to the final four (five), she's a native of my area so at this point (with james eliminated) I'm gunning for her to win.
-------------------- Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie, O, what panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!
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LiquidSmoke
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Re: Iron Chef : Season 5 (Rant) [Re: soochi]
#9829647 - 02/19/09 09:17 PM (14 years, 11 months ago) |
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for the last time
his name is Jeff.
and yes, it was surprising that they let Stefan stay. That challenge in general was pretty lame, i think.
WHenever the challenge is for the chefs to took in a very controlled scope, it just kind of takes away from the true competition of assessing the chef's own personal creativity.
Maybe i'm just bitter cuz Fabio was my favorite contestant. But I'm still perplexed on how Hosea made it this far.
-------------------- "Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts. Who smokes tha blunts? We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back
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