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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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I need to abandon guilt
#9461355 - 12/19/08 10:11 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've recently realized how much GUILT controls my life. It was an eye-opener. Guilt from EVERYTHING. I might just be exceptionally prone to it, but guilt rides me like a black cloak and I just want to rip it off.
social guilt mostly - having to do with relationships
but
I'm sure I got a ton of latent cultural/religious guilt too.
How can I become guilt-free and liberate myself?
I've said 'guilt' so many times in this post I've lost the meaning.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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Posts: 45,432
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH]
#9461381 - 12/19/08 10:17 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hate to be so Zen-like, but the only way to give it up is to give it up. Don't make it complicated.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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My spidey-sense is on point today - I KNEW you would be the first to respond. 
And yes, I make life so much more difficult then it has to be - it's a reoccuring theme - one I feel quite guilty about. 
But I also wanted to open up the subject on guilt to perhaps hear about some other peoples experiences with it. I didn't realize I was so guilt-ridden until recently.
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Chronic7

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH]
#9461435 - 12/19/08 10:30 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
How can I become guilt-free and liberate myself?
Find out if your guilty in the first place
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH]
#9461436 - 12/19/08 10:31 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Guilt = tension between what you want to do and what you believe someone else wants you to do.
Step 1: Remove the word 'should' from your personal lexicon. Step 2: There is no step 2.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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Posts: 45,432
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: Chronic7]
#9461458 - 12/19/08 10:38 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Find out if your guilty in the first place
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psyka
Praetorian


Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH]
#9461477 - 12/19/08 10:43 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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First understand what triggers the guilt.
Most complicated emotions start in the same way. In the example of depression its like this:
1) We experience an unpleasant feeling. 2) We begin thinking about the feeling. 3) The feeling doesn't go away. In fact, the thinking about it feeds the feeling. 4) The feeling turns into a monster.
So perhaps, you could try merely experiencing the unpleasant feeling without adding anything extra (just do step 1). We all feel bad for countless reasons. The difference is some people dwell on the feeling and others channel it (a healthy distraction), and yet others face it head on with selfless curiosity ("How did this bad feeling arise? ... Interesting.")
I think if you genuinely do this, you will find these things just pass. Nothing in the Universe is permanent. And if you don't pay these things any attention you will find them occurring much less frequently in the future... probably even abandoned.
-------------------- As the life of a candle, my wick will burn out. But, the fire of my mind shall beam into infinite.

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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH] 1
#9461590 - 12/19/08 11:14 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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My guess is, from the posts I read from you, that your guilt is the result of your childhood and the way your parents raised you. I think that a first step would be to try to remember what that of education meant to you at the given moment, how it made you feel, and why. Even though there are so many things that bother us as kids, things that we're even unable to explain ourselves why they make us feel bad, especially at that age, it doesn't mean that now you can't go back and think everything with the mind that you have now.
Personally, I consider it to be a very good exercise, because this way I become more aware of the detrimental things I've been taught, and that it is only the result of that education that I have some undesired traits. It becomes then easier for me to work on changing my behavior in the direction I want, with all the knowledge I have right now, because I am able to reason against the behavior that has been imprinted on me at the given time.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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ridebaja
Rewild Yourself

Registered: 05/02/08
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MushroomTrip]
#9462115 - 12/19/08 01:17 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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"Don't make assumptions about anything You're not really guilty about anything. You think you are, but your not
Communicate to others what you really want, so that there are no misunderstandings."
This wisdom comes from Don Miguel Ruiz
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: MOTH] 1
#9462307 - 12/19/08 02:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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I agree with OC ( ) Don't trust any thought that includes the word 'should,' it's nothing but a learned prejudice. Should is a red flag that indicates self-delusion. Should is just someone else's fantasy of a world they can accept. Very common among religious types.
Remember that you are okay, past mistakes and all. So is everybody else. We all have faults and worries and scars and weaknesses. That's fine!
Catholicism in particular has caused so much suffering by using guilt as a tool or weapon. It's sickening really. If there are people in your life who continue to encourage guilt in you, consider removing them from your life, even friends or family. Life is too short and you only get one.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#9462361 - 12/19/08 02:18 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
WhiskeyClone said: If there are people in your life who continue to encourage guilt in you, consider removing them from your life, even friends or family. Life is too short and you only get one.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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Re: I need to abandon guilt [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#9463302 - 12/19/08 05:13 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
If there are people in your life who continue to encourage guilt in you, consider removing them from your life, even friends or family.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: I need to abandon guilt (moved) [Re: MOTH]
#9464795 - 12/19/08 10:34 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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This thread was moved from Philosophy & Spirituality.
Reason: Requests for advice on mental well-being belong in the Physical & Mental well-being forum.
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hoodbran
Dosser



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Re: I need to abandon guilt (moved) [Re: Veritas]
#9471901 - 12/21/08 09:47 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Isn't guilt associated with memories? Guilt is the emotion you experience from actively or passively remembering some terrible thing you did; Doing this, you end up kicking yourself or some other person reminds you --(kicks you)-- of the injustice... Humans always pay 1,000 times for their mistakes - this is true injustice.. Can you abandon guilt? No. You have to ACCEPT. Tell another if it helps you to clear your memories that return, face them one final time and then your self compassion will do the rest:)
-------------------- Not all drugs are good, Some are great.
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