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Invisiblevitadura
Dream Seeker

Registered: 03/11/07
Posts: 451
Loc: Here, Now Flag
What constitutes a healthy relationship?
    #9415158 - 12/11/08 07:53 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

...Or an unhealthy relationship for that matter?

Is it possible to have a healthy/beneficial relationship with someone who is self-destructive?  If not, how do you interact with people who are [self-destructive]?


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"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata


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Offlinehazey
Male


Registered: 01/20/08
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Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9415309 - 12/11/08 10:59 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

im self-destructive. and im a hermit and it shall stay that way! :smile:


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OfflineAlan RockefellerM
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9415325 - 12/11/08 11:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:


Is it possible to have a healthy/beneficial relationship with someone who is self-destructive?




Sure.  As long as they keep the destruction to themselves.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Registered: 01/22/03
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9415340 - 12/11/08 11:06 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

not murdering each other is usually a sign of a healthy relationship


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Offlinehighdroponics
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Registered: 11/14/06
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9415398 - 12/11/08 11:17 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

It's all about trust, without it the relationship is never gonna work out for the best.


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Dr :ronpaul: says to stop trying to treat the side-effects of big government and focus on the core issues. End the Federal Reserve/audit the gold reserves at Fort Knox, abolish the IRS, end all wars and occupancies, stop the building of an empire that will inevitably fail, and cut all unconstitutional federal programs. Put the power back in the peoples' hands by ending this nanny-state.


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: highdroponics]
    #9415573 - 12/11/08 11:42 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

highdroponics said:
It's all about trust, without it the relationship is never gonna work out for the best.




quite the revelation you've had there :japsmile:


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OfflineVelvet Waltz
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Registered: 11/17/08
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9415720 - 12/12/08 12:07 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I'll add in something obvious along with trust.

A healthy relationship is always founded on two, or whatever people do - healthy, self assured, self sufficient individuals who discover each other and their love and affection is an enhancement of each other lives.

An enhancement is the opposite of co-dependent need, jealousy, anxiety and requirement. Once you start requiring and demanding attention and affection you kill passion faster than people can say "tits of gtfo."

Co-dependency is a poison. A negative form of destruction that kills either your spirit, your partners, or both.

A passionate partner could create positive destruction by disrupting your status quo mind, life, habits, whatever and pushing you out of your comfort zone to live more adventurously and challenge yourself with new ideas and experiences. It's a balance and you can only have so much fun, especially socially, physically, mentally and drug culture wise, without being a bit self destructive.

On the other hand if she is telling you to do lines of brown with her at your apartment and yells at you if you want to go out with your friends, because she has none and is lonely, and you're still with her even though she cheated on you and you were to much of an emotional co-dependent wreck to leave her... well sometimes you have to see when someone is draining you slowly and run. Swiftly, never to return.

When you meet some fishes out there with enough self-destructive baggage to fill a small sea; you relax, stay on a friendly surface level with them, help them with problems if your wise enough to offer advice or assistance (if they want it). But don't let there orgasms and sex appeal drag you down into a pit of despair along with them.


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OfflineCoaster
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: Velvet Waltz]
    #9415724 - 12/12/08 12:08 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

as long as ur both willing to compromise on every issue then its all gravy


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Invisiblevitadura
Dream Seeker

Registered: 03/11/07
Posts: 451
Loc: Here, Now Flag
Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: Velvet Waltz]
    #9416750 - 12/12/08 06:35 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Wow, thank you very much for the thought-out response.

I guess people generally know when they are in an unhealthy relationship.  Perhaps the hard part is getting the strength to leave it gracefully behind, especially if you think you can take care of the person when you are no longer "with" them.


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"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Registered: 06/10/03
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9416802 - 12/12/08 07:10 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Trust
Communication
Mutual attraction

In my experiences, these three things have proven to be the most important aspects of healthy relationships.


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Invisibletruekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
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Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny Flag
Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9417070 - 12/12/08 08:50 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

jesus i don't know.

brevity is the only thing that keeps my relationships healthy.


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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
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Re: What constitutes a healthy relationship? [Re: vitadura]
    #9417162 - 12/12/08 09:18 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I like this definition:

"A healthy relationship is one in which two people's love for each other exceeds their need for each other."

:smile:


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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