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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: AmericanPsycho]
#9398251 - 12/09/08 09:37 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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He's 29 I'm 25
Older guys are a-okay with me And in fact at my age more and more people who are available have kids
It's just what happens
So I am open But having kids sometimes means You can't go out and have fun He said he quit partying, but I feel like I haven't even begun I want to get wild and crazy But he seems pretty tame (despite some of his poetry) who knows though?
We don't really know one another
Honestly I'm more into the Bolivian guy who barely speaks English but asked me out to go dancing seems like I'd be able to get more crazy with him
And yes I am socially awkward But sometimes I'm not Sometimes I'm a fearless vixen It depends on who's in charge (internally) And how I feel
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: Hendostan]
#9398259 - 12/09/08 09:39 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hendostan said: have you told him how you feel? don't leave the poor guy hanging.
Yeah, exactly - I don't want to do that - he's a nice guy.
I was thinking I would just explain my situation to him completely.
1. I'm socially anxious 2. But I like to dance and party 3. Not looking for anything permanent 4. Just fun
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Galvie_Flu



Registered: 06/30/02
Posts: 6,632
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9398275 - 12/09/08 09:43 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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i'd like to chime in here and say go for the dancing and partying. do whats fun. Thats all.
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Hendostan



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9398458 - 12/09/08 10:27 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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the nice guy deserves a straight answer from you. you don't have to make it so complicated.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: Hendostan]
#9398486 - 12/09/08 10:32 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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I tend to make life harder then it is.
oops
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McFace
Chemical Engineer



Registered: 06/24/08
Posts: 121
Loc: Ont Canada
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9398652 - 12/09/08 11:05 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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OOHHH Moth. You remind me of this girl from collage. She was socially awkward, shy and cute. I could see it in her eyes that she was into me. She seamed nice but it was hard to talk to her, every time I would try to approach her, she would duck away. At first I was discouraged then I realized that she was just scared. So I kept trying to talk to her. Eventually after a few times of trying, I kinda cornered her. It was kinda mean but I was trying to help her. So once I actually started to talk to her, she opened up a bit. After a couple of more time talking to her I got her out of her shell. I could see that she was not going to break out of her shell on her own, that's why I helped her out of it. After we hung out, fooled around, we were friends. After that she was better, still her self but she was able to talk to strangers, then found a crazy candy raver and they are still together after a couple of years.
I'm not sure why I telling this, Or if there is even a morale to this story. I guess it's that you need to get on a horse to learn how to ride it.
Moth, If we were in the same area I would take out on a date, as friends, to help you on that horse.
-------------------- All Posts are entirely works of fiction. Whats wrong with pretending?
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adrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9398666 - 12/09/08 11:08 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
Quote:
circularvortex said:

You're cheating yourself out of fear, MOTH.
How do you know?
I mean, I ask myself: "do you want to go out with this person?" and the response I'm getting is usually, "I don't really feel like it." Yeah, maybe I could just go out with him and have a good time but...it makes me squirm to think about. 
Why is this? I can only assume it's because I don't really have a need or want to go out with him. There just is no desire there, and a lot of things telling me to just let the whole thing slide away until I forget about it.
One of these days, I may feel more comfortable about going out with people and 'dating' (possibly) but it doesn't seem like I'm there yet. I guess that's what this entire experiment was about.
However I may change my mind later today and call him and try to make plans. If I've proven I'm too flighty and he turns me down, then that's fine too. I just never know for sure what the future holds, only about what's happening now.
Maybe you should just tell him that you don't really feel like hanging out? Ask him straight up, Is this a date? And if he says yes, then you are free to tell him you're not interested in dating. At least that leaves you open to be friends (and able to go back to your favorite restaurant).
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.



Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: adrug]
#9400030 - 12/09/08 02:32 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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all this advice is crap. my advice is the best.
-------------------- You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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Observer
Stranger

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 175
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: truekimbo2]
#9400474 - 12/09/08 03:34 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
truekimbo2 said: any time i guy you don't know well asks you to do something with him its a date.
Probably bad advice but my advice is ignore him, ignore everyone. Learn a science and write books. live in a tiny one room apartment painted white with no furnishings or decoration. stare out your window alot and only leave the house at night. talk to yourself out loud ALOT. keep a dead cat in your freezer and collect something that should be considered trash, like newspapers. build up huge piles of whatever you collect. do this until your carpet is all moldy then wear a face mask all the time. I think what i've outlined is the only true path to happiness.
QFT
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AroundtheSon
Learning to See



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9400807 - 12/09/08 04:15 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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I bet you have a million and one excuses. That's what people do when they are anxious.
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Velvet Waltz
Stranger


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 141
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: So what is this, exactly? (date?) [Re: MOTH]
#9402162 - 12/09/08 08:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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No, in fact I am not physically attracted to him at all.
He's a nice guy though. I am starting to hate this situation because of this. Because I don't want to avoid, be rude to, distant from, or hurt a nice guy.
I think an important question you have to ask yourself MOTH is what is the base of the anxiety and rejection towards this guy?
Is it genuinely because you feel you aren't in a point in your life to date at all, which would mean no romantic time with anyone?
Or
Maybe you just aren't, as you say, that attracted to this particular fellow at all and that lack of attraction is stacking on top of your inexperience and anxiety.
There's plenty to be said about just swimming and wading in the dating pool for fun, experience, and just playing the odds in a casual manner and not worrying about the future or commitment, as plenty of others just described.
It seems like maybe you are interested in dating and whatnot, but this dude just isn't doing it for you and it really is adding to your anxiety. There is a line between casual dating for fun and experience and wasting time, with obvious romantic implications, on someone you can't even pretend to be attracted to. Real desire would make you pick up the phone and fluster with curiosity about the possibilities.
There is nothing wrong with just saying "Fuck it, I don't really feel like exploring the possibilities with this guy," but you should only do that if you genuinely don' give a shit and not out of fear or anxiety about romance in general.
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