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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
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Registered: 07/20/00
Posts: 10,998
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
slashed my wrist tonight. * 1
    #935691 - 10/06/02 01:27 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I have a razor around, and I was looking at it. It seemed so welcoming. It'd take the pain away. I drug it across my wrist, just hard enough to draw blood. It felt good, and right.

Rest... yes. Forever sleep.

I just want to be in the warm dark. I just want to be left alone. I want peace.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935706 - 10/06/02 01:33 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Administrator


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InvisibleGumby
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex] * 1
    #935713 - 10/06/02 01:36 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

One word for you...

Ready?...

psychologist


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InvisibleSmack31
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 10,681
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935719 - 10/06/02 01:38 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

i love you larry... i just replied to your thread in otd. stop doing stupid things.  :mad:


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Gumby]
    #935735 - 10/06/02 01:43 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

gumbydude is right, but I don't have insurance.

I won't die tonight. I still have one or two last efforts in me...


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935745 - 10/06/02 01:48 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Administrator


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: matts]
    #935752 - 10/06/02 01:51 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I never did drugs until april of this year.

Now I get upset if I go one day without weed. They make me feel better.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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InvisibleServator
Viral Agent

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 4,893
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935753 - 10/06/02 01:52 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I think you should read this Larry.
It might help you put the whole suicide thing in perspective......
Suicide 
:grin: 


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InvisibleSenor_Doobie Happy Birthday!
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Posts: 22,678
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935759 - 10/06/02 01:55 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I hope you find peace in life. Please try.


--------------------
"America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat

“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.”  -- Thomas Jefferson

The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance.

The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935760 - 10/06/02 01:55 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Larry, we're always here for you! :smile:


--------------------


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935768 - 10/06/02 01:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Administrator


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Servator]
    #935770 - 10/06/02 01:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

:grin: haha, that was funny... IF LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, COMMIT SUICIDE. :grin: :grin:


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: matts]
    #935774 - 10/06/02 02:00 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Actually, yes. I have always felt since about the 7th grade that I have no hope, and death is ideal.

Not constantly but most of the time. Sometimes I get this "hope" thingie...

Thanks guys....


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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InvisibleServator
Viral Agent

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 4,893
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935776 - 10/06/02 02:01 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

You see?
Do you really want to leave a world where giant space pizzas go around giving out advice like that?
I know I sure don't
:grin:


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OfflineJiminiCricket
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935856 - 10/06/02 02:33 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I love you. Please don't kill yourself. Please don't. Things will get better.


--------------------
Molon Labe!


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Invisiblevkk_
DNA Timebomb

Registered: 02/03/02
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935928 - 10/06/02 03:49 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Lightweight.


--------------------
I remember, the first time, I... smoked DMT.


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: vkk_]
    #935937 - 10/06/02 03:55 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

dude,

you have no fuxxing clue.
It's nothing to brag aboot, but I think I have probably inflicted more harm to myself than most people.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935960 - 10/06/02 04:26 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Goddamnit Larry..you kill yourself and I'm gonna beat your ass senseless on the astral field. Got it? That's not taking the easy way out..trust me.. it will be a LOT harder.

Dayside now, you have yet to find the elder. The answers you seek are right in front of you, do not give up/ Chi is what you need right now.


--------------------


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936137 - 10/06/02 10:28 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

dud DON'T do that... a friend of mine commited suicide... jumped right in front of a train... it was horrible for him, his family, his friends... and just imagine how the train-driver felt...
it's not an easy way out, although i can see where your coming from after reading your post in s&p... but remember that YOU are in charge of your life... if you don't like something, don't resist or run away... look it in the eye and CHANGE IT... you have the power to do it... if it's necesarry take all you have and leave... go wherever you want, it will be better than killing yourself...


--------------------


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OfflineEndlessSpace
star gazer
Registered: 07/20/02
Posts: 57
Loc: the District
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: In(di)go]
    #936150 - 10/06/02 10:44 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Edit: judgmental


--------------------
________________________________________
treat your mind well, and keep educating yourself.
only have one life, use it wisely. much love,
endlessspace


Edited by Senor_Doobie (10/06/02 12:30 PM)


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InvisibleLittle Shroom
Resident Faerie
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: EndlessSpace]
    #936174 - 10/06/02 11:22 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

:frown:
Heart Larry.


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Offlinedjurg
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936182 - 10/06/02 11:30 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I made a weird dream about 5 month ago but can still clearly remember.

There was a meteor falling right on me and i started cursing and swearing.And about 3 or five second i realized that well at last it was all over.

When i woke up i was so frustrated cause i for once was ready and prepare to die and it was just a f**king dream.


--------------------
Did God created humans or humans created God ?
Only God knows
So no one knows
Cause there's no God.


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OfflineSonnyBoyS
indomitable
Registered: 08/21/01
Posts: 693
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: EndlessSpace]
    #936242 - 10/06/02 12:22 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Edit: Flame

I take comfort in this internet message board. There are alot of good characters on this board.

Larry, what the fuck! :mad:  I don't know the isues that brought you to think this way. YOU! have the power to change the things in life that discomfort you. If you have already come to the point where you are not scared to kill yourself. Then do something extreme, stick out you thumb and hitch hike to Calgary here. so I can punch you in the head. Then we will smoke a joint and sort out your problems.

 


--------------------
----------------------------------------------


"Turn up the good!...Turn down the suck!" - Fubar


Edited by Senor_Doobie (10/06/02 12:31 PM)


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OfflineDiscordja
Pope

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 243
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Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: SonnyBoy]
    #936519 - 10/06/02 03:07 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I had a dream about suicide a few days ago.  As I wrote it up a few hours after waking...

"I killed myself out of curiosity, only to find the afterlife is just like this one, only more boring.  Somehow, I realize that life is just a means of developing whatever happens after.  I am relieved to find its a dream."

Trite, maybe...but true enough.  :tongue: 


--------------------
Remember, it's only true if it makes you laugh...


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Offlinemoosehead
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: vkk_]
    #936764 - 10/06/02 05:04 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

are trying to brag about how you can cut your self more than him?







hah


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936779 - 10/06/02 05:08 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

In reply to:

slashed my wrist tonight



Idiot


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936803 - 10/06/02 05:16 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Man, i used to be your age, feel the same shit...........even to this day people joke:"what did ya use, a safety razor"?(when looking at the minisclue scars on my wrist) lol. Larry, you're a smart guy and it is NO fucking way out. I know life can be hell............but pls believe me when i say it only gets better dude, seriously............don't throw in the towel this early, you have way too much to live for.......

FReak Q. Librium


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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InvisibleJenny
part of thewhole
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936840 - 10/06/02 05:30 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Hang in there hon.
things will get better, but they could get worse first.
Don't know your situation, but try and keep yourself busy. If you smoke pot a lot don't just sit around and smoke, go up and play disc-golf or something. Be creative! Take care! We love you here.


--------------------

Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.


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OfflinePenguin
You can't be me I'm a Rockstar

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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Jenny]
    #936863 - 10/06/02 05:38 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

i think about that all the time.


--------------------
The fear of loss is always greater than the desire for gain


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OfflineBullfrog1
Discovery BeyondImagination

Registered: 07/03/02
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936882 - 10/06/02 05:43 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Not a chill out post. If you are looking for sensationalism, do it. You'll be forgotten in a week.
Suicide is for pussies. It's harder to endure life. I've personally had my best friend do it and I knew a person in the army who also did it. Where I work, a person who I used to smoke cigarettes in the break area, went home one evening, killed his 2 and 5 year old kids then turned the gun on himself. Lovely, huh?
Let's not joke around about something that will impact families and real friends, not a bunch of cyber-dickhead friends online, myself included. Call me harsh, but I've been through the pain. Not a laughing matter. :mad:


--------------------



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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Bullfrog1]
    #936897 - 10/06/02 05:50 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

thanks for the talk guys...

I am feeling slightly better now...
I'm not ready to quite just yet... Got a few more things to try. I bet I can figure something out.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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OfflineBullfrog1
Discovery BeyondImagination

Registered: 07/03/02
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936910 - 10/06/02 05:58 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Good. You have much to live for. I know I do. Who knows, maybe one day you'll have children and a family of your own. You'll cry tears of joy about what you didn't do.

Peace


--------------------



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OfflineRemy
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #937105 - 10/06/02 07:12 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Suicide is a horrible and extremely selfish thing to commit. I understand that some people reach a point where their pain and emotianal agony is unbearable, but there are so many ways to fix this. Depression, no matter how severe, is cureable. Not with any medicines, or anything. You must allow yourself to be free. Don't let your inhibitions bother you, just live life to its fullest. Go sky diving naked, try living as a nomad, basically make your life into a neverending adventure. The suicidal state of mind is temporary, and it will go away, just keep home man. I have seen how suicide influences other people, and its terribly sad. A friend of mines dad committed suicide when my friend was 14, and it devastated him, and his family. Start meditating, and try studying some eastern philosophy (sufism, buddhism, etc.) I guarantee these kinds of things will help change and enrich your life.


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OfflineEightball
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #937114 - 10/06/02 07:15 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

you've been hanging around those teenhelp kids too long. they are a bad influence


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on.you'll see devils tearing your life away.
But...if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels
Freeing you from the earth.


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OfflineCartwheelsellout
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #937648 - 10/06/02 10:15 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Don't Kill your Self man


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InvisibleJonnyOnTheSpot
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #937959 - 10/07/02 12:19 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

when your considering suicide, your not using alot of common sense. All you have to do cast aside emotions for a second and think. How could anyone wanna leave a world so beautiful for something that may be horrible? You just gotta think to yourself, "well everyday might not be great, but i know for a fact some of them will" thats just the way it is. So dont kill yourself.

when you feel life aint worth living you gotta take a look around, you gotta look up way to the sky
and when your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy cuz when you stop dreaming it's time to die
and as we all play parts in tommorow, some ways will work, and other ways will play
but i know we cant all stay here forever, so i'm gonna write my words on the face of today... -shannon hoon


--------------------
Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell; spirituality is for those who have been there.


Edited by JonnyOnTheSpot (10/07/02 12:24 AM)


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OfflineoDin
Registered: 08/13/99
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938066 - 10/07/02 12:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

nothing i can say that hasnt been said.

not so good with these things am i...uhhh dont


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OfflineBleedingSickness
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Registered: 08/02/02
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938069 - 10/07/02 01:00 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I can sypathize with you Larry, pardon my shitty spelling, often times I find that the pain inside my chest that's been spurred on by many different things namely a girl I got very attached to long ago. Seems like it would be released if that warm red liquid were to pour from my veins but after I do it..... it doesn't really seem to help so I find better things to do like drinking it out of females as though it were candy. Just make sure she ain't some some health nut you gotta get a girl with sweet blood that's the GOOD ones but sometimes it's bitter and irony tasting like a penny and that's no good and make sure she ain't a slut you don't wanna drink aid's down your throat.

I've been feeling this way for several years it's like a hollow feeling inside with another feeling that seems almost like nothingness inside your head it can even confuse you at times and clog your head up so your thoughts don't move like normal.......just another view point on things I suppose but there are more of us out here that feel that way. I often find I'm lonely despite how many people I'm chillin with I can be in a room filled with close friends but still feel far away inside my head kind of sick............but that's all part of the sickness


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Anonymous

Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938080 - 10/07/02 01:05 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Don't kill yourself.


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Offlinejonnyshaggs420
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938095 - 10/07/02 01:09 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Larry,
PM me sometime we should talk.  Not because I want to tell you not to do things like this, just because I've read alot of your posts and find we have some things in common.  Not looking to lecture, just looking to talk to someone with a similar take on life.........perhaps trade war stories eh? :tongue:


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Vote Jonnyshaggs in the next election for GOD...Its the responsible choice


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Offlinerain_angel
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: jonnyshaggs420]
    #938269 - 10/07/02 01:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

dude, ive been there too. you just have to look for the pros of your life. if even u dont see any, think of the things that make you happy. like when i was really down for alot of stuff, i would just go drive around by my self, and smoke a fatty, and self-reflect. instead of wishing it all away, attempt to change it for the better. and remeber that the only thing that doesnt change, is change itself. and as a stupid whore bitch's mom (she was one too) told me "this to will come to pass" and see was right. life is full of ups and downs, fuck it man, just go with the flow, you cant expect life to be perfect in every way, and when god throws shit at you, take it, and bust his ass with it! you will always find a way, if its meant to be. im betting u dont like yourself for many reasons, but some news for you... EVERYONE finds all thier own flaws, and harps on them. its not that your worse than others, or uglier, or dumber, its just what you as a human, that lives in todays beautiful snotty people society tend to think, like most regular people do. Fucking A, and if that doesnt help, watch a good t.v. show likes cops, or something on home and garden channel, then you wont feel bad after u see people that suffer from both dumbnation, and ulta-uglyness :smile:
peace my friend
rain :grin: 


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Offlinemyshoeisuntied
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: rain_angel]
    #938573 - 10/07/02 06:30 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

ok so i could tell you not to kill yourself. but that seems rather ineffective not to mention a bit trite and lacking of tought.. but i think i can say that it is your life and make the choices you wish. but be aware that such a simple one will provide for a profound effect. i seriously reccomed that you , sounds crazy and maybe abit stupid, skydive i guarentee that it will, if only for a brief few seconds fill you with an extreme joy, from that i think that you may learn something- and from that make a new decision of course this is solely up to you , but when falling toward the earth at such a speed... well it doesnt make you think. i think it's the lack of tought that is amazing. good luck with your choice


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OfflineFlusH
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #939108 - 10/07/02 10:13 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Hey, I know what you are going threw. I have been shit on all my life as well and several almost successful attempts. The one quote that kept me going was "this too will pass". What help'ed me out was a 7 gram mushroom trip but that is not always the case with everybody. The trip allowed me to see my life from a third person perspective. Talking about your problems is also a great way to de-stress. You can realize the problem for what it is, and I think head shrinks are a waste of money. If you don't have anybody to talk to, then start typing. Take it easy man. don't feel guilty if smoking a j keeps you feeling level. Better than dead. And way better than any SSRI doctors push.


--------------------


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Invisiblevkk_
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: moosehead]
    #940534 - 10/07/02 06:15 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

"Rest... yes. Forever sleep." 

Ok, Yoda.  :tongue:


--------------------
I remember, the first time, I... smoked DMT.


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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: vkk_]
    #940553 - 10/07/02 06:21 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

hahaha....

really though, one of my favorite lines from the movie. I always here yoda say that when I feel depressed.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011


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OfflineUrbanistiC
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #940918 - 10/07/02 08:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Ive always heard that if you start to die, everything gets cold! Especially if you let out all your blood via slits to the wrist. There are far more effective ways to take ones life. If you want to feel ther warmth, try dousing yourself in gas and lighting a lighter! And by the way, your blood draining out of your boday is anything but painless. And what kind of outside influence could actually drive you to want to "take all of the pain away" ? I mean, do you feel that you just arent strong enough? Well, just felt like yapping a bit. Dont take it personal, no punn intended.

P.S.  Try something like drinking rubbing alcohol. Or sniff some drain-o.  :tongue:


--------------------
Keep it ReaL.


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Offlineuno
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: UrbanistiC]
    #941148 - 10/07/02 09:38 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Don't you people know you should slit your wrists in a really warm bath?

Also, this world isn't very great and its going to hell in a handbasket VERY fast.


--------------------
- uno


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Offlinemr_minds_eye
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: uno]
    #942851 - 10/08/02 02:33 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Death isn't the end. Who knows the nxt phase could be even shittier than this one. I used to cut myself it was a relief. Learn how to alter your mind without drugs. When you feel down just say OM.


--------------------
Our quest for discovery fuels our creativity in all fields, not just science. If we reached the end of the line, the human spirit would shrivel and die. But I don't think we will ever stand still: we shall increase in complexity, if not in depth, and shall always be the center on an expanding horizon of possibilities.
-Stephen Hawking


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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #943565 - 10/08/02 07:03 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Larry~

The following poem is not to encourage self-destruction. To paraphrase,
the subject of the poem couldn't handle life any longer and committed
suicide. He went to heaven, where God gave him/her everything they needed
to be happy.

Everything was great for this person in heaven, until he/she noticed others
around him/her doing tasks for God. He/She asked God to be included in the
tasks being assigned, and God said he/she already had that chance in life and
blew it.

There is no perfect solution to imbalances we encounter in this physical plane.
EVERYBODY struggles with self-destruction at one point or another in their
life. I like to approach life (on a daily or momentary basis) as being already
dead, and the miracle I experience IS Life (physical reality). Easier said than done,
of course, but it gives me a foundation within my mind and soul to work with.

Hang in there and keep on keeping on. Here is the poem. You may need to read it
a couple of times for it to sink in. Peace to you ~ Peaceful Nomad

The Suicide

by Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Curse thee, Life, I will live with thee no more!
Thou has mocked me, starved me, beat my body sore!
And all for a pledge that was not pledged by me,
I have kissed thy crust and eaten sparingly
That I might eat again, and met thy sneers
With deprecations, and thy blows with tears, ~
Aye, from thy glutted lash, glad, crawled away,
As if spent passion were a holiday!
And now I go. Nor threat, nor easy vow
Of tardy kindness can avail thee now
With me, whence fear and faith alike are flown;
Lonely I came, and I depart alone,
And know not where nor unto whom I go;
But that thou canst not follow me I know."

Thus I to Life, and ceased; but through my brain
My thought ran still, until I spake again;

"Ah, out I go not as I came, ~ no trace
Is mine to bear away of that old grace
I brought! I have been heated in thy fires
Bent by thy hands, fashioned to thy desires,
Thy mark is on me! I am not the same
Nor ever more shall be, as when I came.
Ashes am I of all that once seemed.
In me all's sunk that leapt, and all that dreamed
Is wakeful for alarm, ~ oh, shame to thee,
For the ill change that thou has wrought in me,
Who laugh no more nor lift my throat to sing!
Ah, life, I would have been a pleasant thing
To have about the house when I was grown
If thou wouldst leave me playing in the sun!
And this thou didst deny, calling my name
Insistently, until I rose and came.
I saw the sun no more. ~ It were not well
So long on these unpleasant thoughts to dwell,
Need I arise to~morrow and renew
Again my hated tasks, but I am through
With all things save my thoughts and this one night,
So that in truth I seem already quite
Free and remote from thee, ~ I feel no haste
And no reluctance to depart; I taste
Merely, wit thoughtful mien, and unknown draught,
That in a little while I shall have quaffed."

Thus I to Life, and ceased, and slightly smiled
Looking at nothing; and my thin dreams filed
Before me one by one till once again
I set new words unto an old refrain:

"Treasures thou hast that never have been mine!
Warm lights in many a secret chamber shine
Of thy gaunt house, and gusts of song have blown
Like blossoms out to me that sat alone!
And I have waited well for thee to show
If any share were mine, ~ and now I go!
Nothing I leave, and if naught attain
I shall but come into mine own again!"
Thus to Life, and cease, and spake no more,
But turning, straightway, sought a certain door
In the rear wall. Heavy it was, and low
And dark, ~ a way by which none e'er would go
That other exit had, and never knock
Was heard thereat, ~ bearing a curious lock
Some chance had shown me fashioned faultily,
Whereof Life held content the useless key,
And great coarse hinges, thick and rough with rust,
Whose sudden voice across a silence must,
I knew, be harsh and horrible to hear,~
A strange door, ugly like a dwarf. ~ So near
I came I felt upon my feet the chill
Of acid wind creeping across the sill.
So stood longtime, till over me at last
Came weariness, and all things other passed
To make it a room; the still night drifted deep
Like snow about me, and I longed for sleep.

But, suddenly, marking the morning hour,
Bayed the deep~throated bell within the tower!
Startled, I raised my head, ~ and with a shout
Laid hold upon the latch, ~ and was without.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ah, long~forgotten, well~remembered road,
Leading me back unto my old abode,
My father's house! There in the night I came,
And found them feasting, and all things the same
As they had been before. A splendour hung
Upon the walls, an such sweet songs were sung
As, echoing out of very long ago,
Had called me from the house of Life, I know.
So fair their raiment shone I looked in shame
On the unlovely garb in which I came;
Then straightway at my hesitancy mocked;
"Its is my father's house!" I said and knocked;
And the door opened. To the shining crowd
Tattered and dark I entered, like a cloud,
Seeing no face but his; to him I crept,
And "Father!" I cried, and clasped his knees, and wept.
Ah, the days of joy that followed! All alone
I wandered through the house. My own, my own,
My own to touch, my own to taste and smell,
All I lacked so long and loved so well!
None shook me out of sleep, nor hushed my song,
Nor called me in from the sunlight all day long.

I know not when the wonder came to me
Of what my father's business might be,
And whither fared and on what errands bent
The tall and gracious messengers he sent.
Yet one day with no song from dawn till night
Wondering, I sat, and watched them out of sight.
Asked them if I might go, ~ but no one heard.
Then, sick with longing, I arose at last
And went unto my father, ~ in the vast
Chamber wherein he for so many years
Has sat, surrounded by his charts and spheres.
"Father," I said, "Father, I cannot play
the harp that thou didst give me, and all day
I sit in idleness, while to and fro
About me thy serene, grave servants go;
And I am weary of my lonely ease.
Better a perilous journey overseas
Away from thee, than this, the life I lead,
To sit all day in the sunshine like a weed
That grows to naught, ~ I love thee more than they
Who serve thee most; yet serve thee in no way.
Father, I beg of thee a little task
To dignify my days, ~ 'tis all I ask
Forever, but forever, this denied,
I perish."
"Child," my father's voice replied,
"All things thy fancy hath desired of me
Thou hast received. I have prepared for thee
Within my house a spacious chamber, where
Are delicate things to handle and wear,
And all these things are thine. Dost thou love song?
My minstrels shall attend thee all day long.
Or sigh for flowers? My fairest gardens stand
Open as fields to thee on every hand.
And all thy days this word shall hold the same:
No pleasure shalt thou lack that thou shall name.
But as for tasks~" he smiled, and shook his head;
"Thou hadst thy task, and laidst it by," he said.



--------------------


Edited by Peaceful_Nomad (10/08/02 07:14 PM)


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Invisibletruekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #8222780 - 04/01/08 03:01 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

does anyone else remember a time before the word emo?


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleFungusMan
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: truekimbo2]
    #8222793 - 04/01/08 03:08 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Does anyone know if this pussy croaked yet? I seriously doubt it :frown:


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Offlineskateordont
I'm just a rockn roll clown

Registered: 12/07/07
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: EndlessSpace]
    #8222796 - 04/01/08 03:09 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

START WITH A GALLONN of BLEEECH... then IV some DRAINO




pussy


--------------------
My recipe for a good time:


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Invisiblepifff
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: EndlessSpace]
    #8222805 - 04/01/08 03:11 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

LMAOO ...EMO!!


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OfflineNationofStrangers
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: skateordont]
    #8222825 - 04/01/08 03:17 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Man i want you to know.. i do not know you but i have been going through a really depressed time in my life as of late. i would not tell anybody but suicide does run threw my head on a daily basis.. you will be ok man.. everything gets better... all i have been doing is taking it one day at a time ya know?? you really have no need to die bra... im sure their are people out there that love you.. you know what i have found comforting? a girls touch. i know i have not had a girlfriend in it seems like ages, or the touch of one. I'm sure you can find somone to just give you a hug man. I know the feeling, it seems like i get really depressed so i drink.. then im even more depressed because i got drunk again.. man if you need to talk about anything shoot me a PM... youll be ok man please do not hurt yourself... i have had a lot of friends pass away from suicide and i know every single one of them did not desereve to die... they all had so many people that cared for them.. you may not beleive it now but they do. i am sure you have somebody... hang in there bro.


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Offlinemoosehead
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: pifff]
    #8222837 - 04/01/08 03:21 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

The dude was depressed :shrug:

I find that to be more grounded than a lot of the shit i read in this forum.


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InvisibleFungusMan
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: moosehead]
    #8222845 - 04/01/08 03:23 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I do try to guide people into not killing themselves, unless they do it outside. Some poor shmuck has to clean your emo ass up.


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OfflineAcaterpillar
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: FungusMan]
    #8222892 - 04/01/08 03:47 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Find a medium you enjoy expressing yourself through. This can do wonders.


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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OfflineAtticusProphet
just a tool
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Registered: 02/07/08
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #8222970 - 04/01/08 04:34 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Find a medium you enjoy expressing yourself through. This can do wonders.




blood works


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!



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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8222977 - 04/01/08 04:37 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

:lol:


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OfflineWysefool
I AM SKELETON JELLY
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Cowgold]
    #8223015 - 04/01/08 05:34 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I wonder how this thread would have gone if it was just posted today. People used to be a lot more supportive here. :confused:


--------------------
GET MAD SWAG MONEY BIG PIMPIN


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Invisibletruekimbo2
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Wysefool]
    #8223021 - 04/01/08 05:40 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

yeah no joke, i go through really old posts sometimes, and the tone is pretty different i feel.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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OfflineAcaterpillar
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: truekimbo2]
    #8223024 - 04/01/08 05:43 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

:foreheadslap:

Didn't even bother looking at the post dates. Yeah, I was suprised by how little banter he got when he first made the thread.


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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OfflineAtticusProphet
just a tool
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: Wysefool]
    #8223025 - 04/01/08 05:43 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

edit: fuck me silly this is an old post


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!



Edited by AtticusProphet (04/01/08 05:45 AM)


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InvisibleAlec_Baldwin
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Re: slashed my wrist tonight. [Re: EndlessSpace]
    #8223031 - 04/01/08 05:57 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Goon.


--------------------
Tune in, Freak out, Get Beaten.


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