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My life situation is halting my spiritual develop
    #935640 -

ment.


I am stuck in the middle of the land of redneck. I swear to god, people walk into the bar I work at with pistols in each hand firing shots at the ceiling, yelling "yeeeehaaaaa"

Get a new job? fair enough. However, I don't have a degree yet, (working on it) and the county I live in has nearly 35% unemployement due to the fact there simply are no jobs. there is nothing here if you are not a farmer. Move? with what money?

Ok it's not just the job... Home life. My house mate is an anal retentive neat freak peice of shit that I hate with all my heart and soul. I can't even make a damn meal without him running into the kitchen screaming about the mess. He SHAMPOOS the carpet EVERYDAY! I have beat the shit out of him twice, but that doesn't help. I should move, but I can't get out of my lease for another year and a half. I spend about 3 nights a week on my friends' couchs.

I am starting to have elaborate fanatsies about killing him.

I can't get away. I am surrounded at all sides. I mean it! I try to drop my hate filled attitude but everytime I come close something is throw in my face till I freak out.

I was smoking a cigarette today and Ken was home and fuxxing threw a fit so I put it out on my arm. He is a little queer boy and that sort of thing really upsets him.

Then I get online to escape but I am still pissed off and take it out on people here and then that is just fucking bad.

I would bet money at this point that I end up as a street person.

I am becoming a fucking junkie. I have never smoked weed befor april of this year, and now I can't go a night with out it... I done shrooms, xanxies, ephedrine, weed, and alchol (and I hate that so very much) all within the last week.

I can't change who I am here. I can't better myself. If I don't better myself, I doubt I'll be able to get out.

Suicide is also a reoccuring fantasy for me.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935657 -

Meditate.

Good luck to you brother....


--------------------
Those who know do not speak.
Those who speak do not know.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935929 -

Larry, that sounds like a shitty situation you are in but believe me there are tons of things to learn. Think of yourself as being in a library of actual life. You are experienceing many different attitudes, people, emotions, drugs, environments, relationships, etc. That is a wonderful opportunity you have to grow and be all the better for it for the rest of your life. I am not saying I envy your situation but you have to play the hand your dealt. If you have to play you might as well make the pot as big as you can and go for broke. Suicide is never the way out. Your death will teach others but there is nothing in it for you. This is one area where you have to be ego driven and save your own ass. Hope my ramblings give you some insight. Peace


--------------------
An open mind is the greatest journey of all.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: chemkid]
    #935934 -

I agree with chemkid. I can't say it better myself.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #935939 -

Cainite... relax
Your haven is unsatisfactory, lupine knows your trouble. Do not succumb to the hatred. You must find your clan.

Rise above the vile... use this opportunity to learn from your frustration, go within.


--------------------

Edited by Shroomism (10/06/02 02:02 AM)

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936550 -

you must live in Georgia =) or somewhere close, i've seen town in my state like you discribe.....very sad i must say. But there is still hope, try and find a Martial Arts studio around your area.....not Tik won doe, i spelled that way wrong. but that is not a good style, i have much dislike for that style here in America. anyways try and find a good studio or something.

if all else fails? ain't you half owner of that house or aprtment your in...i say fuck your roommate, i would throw my cig on the floor.....maybe even take a shit in your roommates bed....tell him fuck off. everytime he trys to clean, just make a bigger mess, and let him clean it. hehe you could ahve fun with this =) just be an total ass, scar him =)

many things you can do =)

peace out my brothers, everyone has a little bit of insanity in them


--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936557 -

I think your avatar is halting your spiritual development.
j/k.... :wink:


--------------------
Those who know do not speak.
Those who speak do not know.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: ChubbSubb]
    #936572 -

whats an avatar??


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: CleverName]
    #936584 -

That pic of avril (lavigne?) under his name.....and the spelling of boi in his title relating to the same chick.


--------------------
Those who know do not speak.
Those who speak do not know.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936771 -

It may seem financially difficult to leave, but you can always try saving up some money for a few months (or years) and moving to a city where there are plenty of jobs and a more diverse mixture of people that can be more conducive to your spiritual development. If you think you'd be happier someplace else then make the change happen.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: GrowingVines]
    #936854 -

I live in rural Indiana,

I plan on moving to new orleans or europe at some point.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #936999 -

This is all bad news. I am sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately I feel unqualified to offer you anything more than empathy. I hope things get better.

Cheers,

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: ]
    #937082 -

What if you didnt care about what was happening in your life. what if you just said to yourself, hey i'm not afraid of death. what if life was so inherently meaningless that you began to enjoy every minute of it, using each moment to demonstrate whatever aspect you wish of who you are. instead of getting mad at your roomate, why not simply laugh at him. hit the floor laughing cause you dont care, you are enjoying every minute of it.

move away from requirement and simply be who ever the hell you wanna be. use the tools you have been given that come from within. enjoy your drugs, make things happen, cherish each oportunity to fuck with peoples minds, laugh with your friends. i love to set away some time for meditation while drawing shit or writing a poem, having a clear head while doing these things always brings out my creativity.

i have shit, no job, lost my car, but one day i thought to myself, who cares, i am still happy.

hope this helps

peace>


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "



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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #937720 -

HEHEHE  Man, Indiana sucks doesnt it???!!!  And I'm just guessing but I bet you live near me.  :smile:  rural In, rednecks, horrible unemployment.  sounds mighty familiar.  Sorry about your situation.  I hope it gets better for ya.  Not that I can give any advice since I'm a screwup as well.  :smile:  Just try to enjoy life and don't let the little things get to ya.  I had to learn this lesson myself.     


--------------------
"You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus." F and L in L.V.

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938166 -

I know how the daunting unemployment rate feels....Right now I'm in the middle of a degree for Systems Programming...the job search looks much less then promising right now.....

I'm not sure whats worse.....living in hickville, USA or living in the Bible belt.....


--------------------
Vote Jonnyshaggs in the next election for GOD...Its the responsible choice

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #938445 -

Larry- You're alright. Shit on the floor. Stay away from the crystal meth (it's rampant in Indiana... or so I've heard)

jonnyshaggs420- Actually, there is a Hicksville in New York. hehehe


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Sclorch]
    #939426 -

between my county and the county directly to the south there is at least one meth lab busted a day.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #939991 -

{I got this off the DEA website}

RED TEAM GO! RED TEAM GO!


One question: What's with the propane tanks?


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: My life situation is halting my spiritual develop [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #940431 -

between my county and the county directly to the south there is at least one meth lab busted a day

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA  Ok You live next door to me dude.  :smile:  I read about these in my county and the surrounding counties daily.    hahaha  Meth is  the only drug available here.  Just a damn shame I don't like tweakin.  Larry come on over for a beer sometime.  :smile:   


--------------------
"You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus." F and L in L.V.

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