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InvisiblePyroBurns
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Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 4,343
How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements?
    #9292070 - 11/22/08 02:36 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I left the topic title a little generic to cover a broad spectrum of circumstances. But basically, I want to combat the stress that comes from when people fail to preform when they are supposed to. Here are a few examples:

You did all of your homework, and slaved over it over the course of hours. You put so much effort into it to make sure it was correct, and looked good them finally go to bed at night mentally exhausted. The next day at class the teacher goes to collect the homework she finds out that only you and some other guy did it. Everyone else was too lazy and made up excuses about why they didn't do it, and you know damn well that they are full of shit. But the teacher buys it, and decideds not to collect the homework and simply goes over it in class or some stupid shit.


You work as hard as you can to get some documents ready and filled out so you can fax them in to the company for whatever reason. Then you call your friend who needs to send their portion in but they haven't done shit yet. You have work in two hours and they have nothing to do but sit on their ass for the rest of the night. They claim they don't know how to work fax machines so they just Email you their documents for YOU to find a printer and fax them out. No matter how annoying it is, you know that you have to do it or it won't get done.



You know, shit like that. Where people fail to do what they are supposed to and you have to pay for it. This happens to me all the time and it drives me absolutely nuts. But I figure that it's something that happens in everyone's life and that being angry about it won't stop it from happening. That's obvious enough. But it's so hard not to let these things get to you. Especially because they ARE supposed to be upsetting. Any advice?


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InvisibleGreen_T
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Registered: 10/02/08
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9292129 - 11/22/08 02:48 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. It sounds kind of weird, but is basically on how to talk to people in a nice way to get shit done, like how to be a good manager. It may help with the second scenario.

As for the first, its kind of a bitch move, but go to the professor out of class and say how much you had to sacrifice to get your homework done and work out an extra credit deal or something. Whatever bullshit the other people had to go through, you did as well AND managed to get it done. Maybe they could write you a reference one day for your good work ethic.


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"I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man" - Thomas Jefferson

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InvisiblePyroBurns
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Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 4,343
Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: Green_T]
    #9292511 - 11/22/08 04:06 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for the advice, titan, but I was wondering if there was more of a general way to disarm the frustration before it even hits.


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Offlinesunflower
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9293021 - 11/22/08 05:25 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Don't have requirements for other people in the first place.  Why even worry about what they do?  You can't control anyone's actions but your own, so who cares whether someone else does or doesn't do something?  If it really affects you, why would you give that responsibility up to someone else?  If you don't like doing whatever it is for someone else ....don't do it.  Just say no, it is easy.  If you do something for someone else it was your choice, so accept that you made it and go fully with your choice.  Don't complain later about what they made you do. It is a nice clean feeling:)


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OfflineJadian
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9293687 - 11/22/08 07:15 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Hope for the best and plan for the worst when it comes to counting on other people.


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9293792 - 11/22/08 07:36 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Don't let yourself get in those situations where possible.

Sometimes you just have to be frustrated though.

If someone drives by and throws eggs at you - you get frustrated and theres nothing you can do about it.


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InvisibleLeftyBurnz
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Posts: 24,570
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9294200 - 11/22/08 08:59 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

PyroBurns said:
I left the topic title a little generic to cover a broad spectrum of circumstances. But basically, I want to combat the stress that comes from when people fail to preform when they are supposed to. Here are a few examples:

You did all of your homework, and slaved over it over the course of hours. You put so much effort into it to make sure it was correct, and looked good them finally go to bed at night mentally exhausted. The next day at class the teacher goes to collect the homework she finds out that only you and some other guy did it. Everyone else was too lazy and made up excuses about why they didn't do it, and you know damn well that they are full of shit. But the teacher buys it, and decideds not to collect the homework and simply goes over it in class or some stupid shit.


You work as hard as you can to get some documents ready and filled out so you can fax them in to the company for whatever reason. Then you call your friend who needs to send their portion in but they haven't done shit yet. You have work in two hours and they have nothing to do but sit on their ass for the rest of the night. They claim they don't know how to work fax machines so they just Email you their documents for YOU to find a printer and fax them out. No matter how annoying it is, you know that you have to do it or it won't get done.



You know, shit like that. Where people fail to do what they are supposed to and you have to pay for it. This happens to me all the time and it drives me absolutely nuts. But I figure that it's something that happens in everyone's life and that being angry about it won't stop it from happening. That's obvious enough. But it's so hard not to let these things get to you. Especially because they ARE supposed to be upsetting. Any advice?




when people do not perform basic requirements and i am caught up in the aftermath, i am a blatant asshole. and i dont waste a second to call them out in front of everyone.

im assuming youre in college and this is a class that youre paying for.  i would have spoken up, and i would have spoken loudly.  ill be GODDAMNED if im going to pay ridiculous fucking money and put myself in debt for years to come just to do what is required of me, and then be shit on when everyone else fails.

i may come off as an asshole at work, but ill tell you what, people respect me, and they dont step on my toes more than once.  my peers respect me, and my superiors notice me.  i step up, and i speak up. it gets you places.


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Offlinelukey2411
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9294681 - 11/22/08 10:56 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

In regards to the first situation, I haven't been at school for a while, but I think that you - or the hypothetical 'you' - needs to find fulfillment in putting in the hard work and doing your best. Your enjoyment of that shouldn't be governed by how it's valued in terms of marks or percentages given by a teacher. I really fucking hate the almost-anti-altruism seen in so many high-schools and universities.

"Like fuck I'm going to give you my notes, why would I help you to get better marks? This is a competition!"

That said, it is extremely hard to not get angry when you put in your 50% and your partner only puts in 30%. If you go over and do more than what is required, don't expect them to match your input. Or just stop relying on people altogether.


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InvisiblePyroBurns
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Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 4,343
Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: lukey2411]
    #9295431 - 11/23/08 01:31 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Sometimes you have no choice.

Especially when you work somewhere where everyone has to finish their department before YOU go home. Then you suffer for everyone else's slackerness.


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Remember to cut your nails regularly.



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Offlinesunflower
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Registered: 08/19/06
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Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9296089 - 11/23/08 06:26 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I think I would be looking for a different job.


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InvisibleBrainiac
Rogue Scientist
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Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 13,259
Loc: 與您的女朋 Flag
Re: How do you effectively deal with frustrations about people not meeting their requirements? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #9296223 - 11/23/08 07:48 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

look up the The Theory of Everything...:smirk:


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