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I had a few trips where i lost it and was starting not to be able to tell what was in my head and real. I kept hearing helicopters, cop sirens. Voices, that was a really really bad trip. It was only from 3.5 grams of lipa yai aborts too. Ive dosed up to 7 grams of dry eq and i took a 60 gram fresh mexicube trip once that didnt come close to the strenght of the 3.5 lipa yai shroom trip that has ended my tripping carear for at least a year.
-------------------- This is the only time I really feel alive.
It's not always purely by amount as some have stated everyone has a different sensitivity and I think set and settnig contribute alot too.
These revelations and chaotic thoguhts I certainly know what you mean... The anything is everything and contradictory feelings.... The "this is it this is everything or I have done it this time its all over" feelings are prevalent on strong trips for me.
Baraka, I too have noticed the lipa yais to cause very strange experiences. I ate roughly 3g one night and it was comparable to 4g or more voyages I have had, but sometimes I wonde whether one becomes more sensitive after taknig many trips...
I recall Terrence McKenna saying in an interview a while back (repeated in The Archaic Revival) that 5 dry grams of potent mushies is enough to flatten the most resistant ego..
THe first testing of my first batch I ate a big combination of dry and wet mush (B+) between 4-7g I have no idea some were partially dry. I did not mix anything else with it and was sweating constantly, still able to move about and somewhat think, although concepts were flying everywhere...
However, a week later, I decided to take Terrences advice and cease my diddling. I took 5 dry grams powdered and capsuled, and smoked alot of herb with it (mid grade however). That is the one time I have truly hit ego loss and the last time I took that high a dose, although capsuling is good..
When you hit that ego loss state is when yaou truly lose control.. While coming up I was watching COPS on tv and they started talking about me, "There is a boy in [my family's current home town name] growing mushrooms and we are on the way there now". I also saw my brother on a stretcher on TV and told M this, she went to call my brother just to reassure me, on TV a man had a torch and was asking me if I was on mushrooms. Upon picking up the phone I could not talk to my brother I just heard the man on tv telling me to admit I am tripping mushrooms or that he would light some ladys in the crowd on fire. I ran downstairs and tried to chug some of a 40 but it was too late, the crazyness was hitting me. I proceeded to lay down on the bed and that is how it hit... All notions of moving any part of my body was lost. The whole room became swirling movement and colour and then my whole vision turned into one point, the corner of the room, I knew my math teacher was in the room telling me about circles, everythign was a circle and a cycle... I kept seeing people I knew and they were waving bye and I felt myself slipping into the void. back in reality some people were checking my heart rate and I may have heard them say it was extremely fast and hard and irregular... They sat me up and started yelling my name very loud, everything appeared to exist in my mind alone, I was feeling the entire universe, so I could not move my mouth nor blink my eyes or respond. They slapped me in the face repeatedly, hard too, still no response from me. Someone put ice cubes down my pants as well to try and shock me out of it, then they all put me in a cold shower... My inmdex finger on both hands went nail to nail to my thumb a weird feeling position, on both hands. The cold shower was not exactly unpleasant, just shocking. I did not know why I was there, and in my head for some reason although he was not present I was seeing my father in a tyde dye shirt telling me about some old hippy rock song and making drumming guitar motions and sounds. I slowly came back in the shower I think and was saying every one creates his or her own heaven or hell. The feeling that everything else would continue to exist but that I would cease or change form started to subside. I was sat in a big arm chair and continoued to be in a strange maybe egoless state not analyzing anything merely existing. I slowly came back and would check to see this once I regained control of my limbs by seeing if my hand would go through the wall.
Yeah, that is a bit more like loosing control although I was not really thinking about control.
Wildlaser sounds like you were right on threshold of ego death when friends beat you back into personality intragation. I would try same dose again but tell them that you will be fine the body responds with a major fear like response as you break thru which is normal since its a very intense emotional ride sorta like the body has a sympatic response to the destruction of the ego.I have only crossed over twice both times with a sitter he told me later that I was sweating to the point where I was soaked thru and even the pillow was wringing wet that my heart rate was very high like from heavy exertion and that my breathing was shallow but that it only lasted about 20 mins then for next 2 hours I just laid in a motionless fetal position. Reintegration of the ego was not as hard as its destruction and I tripped very hard for a few more hours. My oldest son is 25 and when he tried to break thru into egoless state he blacked out during egodeath fainted would probably be a better term in roughly the same amount of time he retuned to awareness but had no memory of the egoless state.either way the key is when the ego is being destroyed you need quiet so nothing forces you back into this reality. egolessness is like a planak state both exist but only one can be perceived at any time. There is a old tradition that says reality is divided into 2 parts 1% is what we normally perceive thru the ego 99% is the infinite consecutiveness of the universe the love and wisdom and knowledge of God ego death is like peering thru the vail that separates the 2.
I don't think there's a correlation between dosage once you're beyond a certain level of 3-5 dried grams. Certainly I've had just as powerful experiences on 3 dried grams as I have on 10. The ten gram dose just seems to last a little longer. This also applies to LSD - the idea that "The more you have the more you trip" doesn't really apply beyond a certain level, i think Leary said that once that beyond 500 micrograms there was no increase in effect.