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GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Unsure title

#891716 - 09/18/02 05:19 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Is i already insane, if i want to become more insane? For some odd reason something is telling me in my head, that if i go truely insane i will then find peace. And if others find peace in insanity then is that what everyone else is? and if so, would they be sane or insane? I am in a bit of confussion. I think i would like to be truely insane, but if i like it would i then consider myself insane or would i just be sane? I really don't know, i just know i want to be crazy, for most crazy's are right so they are really not crazy, they are enlighted? i don't know, hoping the more i trip, the more i learn and the more enlighted i feel.

Peace my brothers, for everyone has a little bit of insanity in them.

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У

Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#891749 - 09/18/02 05:37 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe your concept of insanity is just your fears about returning to the oneness, the innocence, and pure awareness of creation...
Fears of letting go of all the attachments associated to the seperated, polarized pieces of fractal reality.

Let go.

--------------------
{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }

Edited by Adamist (09/18/02 05:37 PM)

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Sclorch
Clyster

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#891752 - 09/18/02 05:39 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

You should quit obsessing about it...
This thread should be in the "Psychotherapy For Unstable Shroomerites" Forum.

--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

Extras:

Sclorch
Clyster

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Adamist]
#891764 - 09/18/02 05:42 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Fears of letting go of all the attachments associated to the seperated, polarized pieces of fractal reality.

I swear I've heard this before...
You should hone this guru double-talk... you could make a killing.

--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

Extras:

Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У

Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#891770 - 09/18/02 05:44 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks Sclorch.

/gives you a hug

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{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }

Extras:

Anonymous

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#891778 - 09/18/02 05:46 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Hello,

How are you?

I am fine.

Compute?

Extras:

Anonymous

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#891785 - 09/18/02 05:50 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

This thread should be in the "Psychotherapy For Unstable Shroomerites" Forum

- Hey, Can I borow that?! :grin:

:grin:

-OoD

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Sclorch
Clyster

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Anonymous]
#891811 - 09/18/02 06:05 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

OoD-

Yeah... sure... wh..

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Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#891944 - 09/18/02 07:07 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Good to see you have your edge back. :smile:

:smile:

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

ChubbSubb
Zen Lunatic

Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 612
Loc: Here.
Last seen: 23 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#891997 - 09/18/02 07:36 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

This thread should be in the "Psychotherapy For Unstable Shroomerites" Forum.

LOL Sclorch! :grin:

:grin:

--------------------
Those who know do not speak.
Those who speak do not know.

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Grav

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: ChubbSubb]
#892049 - 09/18/02 07:56 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I have this little theory...
this is mostly from experience of going through like a 6(or 7 or 8 or 9) month period of some sort of "insanity"..
please excuse my poor vocabulary, i smoked too much of the reefer in my past to learn new words!

there is 'good' stuff inside of you, and 'bad' stuff inside of you
when certain people feel the need to find divinity or peace or whatever they just want to flush EVERYTHING out of them.. so they gobble lots of hallucinogens and start questioning everything around them. i think they are mistaken when they think everything they know is just useless programmed information. they just want to escape it all and find the 'real truth'.

i believe they neglect the truth that is inside of them and always has been inside of them. and thats where the overwhelming confusion comes from. they shatter their stability.

this system of balance and need that is human nature. how to exist in your time and place in the world.

the cavemen had to manipulate the earth and make wheels to move things easier.
we invented global communication to talk to each other easier.
there is no difference in my mind...

i know i felt a huge load of guilt with every action, because i felt i was betraying some sort of earthly spirit.. i couldnt even flip on a light switch without feeling guilty about how much of mother nature had been sacrificed to maintain a system of electricity..
this is foolish and unrealistic... it is the wrong way...

honor yourself by finding true healthy happiness in your life, in whatever way you can... there are no rules.. and when you are on the right path you will feel it with all your heart

dont needlessly punish yourself

you have work to do, and there are many kind people out there who are gonna work with you

hope this helps someone :tongue:

:tongue:

im gonna post this too cuz i think this could help someone...

Extras:

GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Grav]
#892155 - 09/18/02 08:42 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

But i like the insanity, the choas in your mind. I feel that when i go completely insane, is when i finially open my eyes to the world. I am just getting more and more crazy =) but that is a good thing. i do let it go...well i am trying to..once i let it go...whatever i am trying to let go of (i'm not sure of yet). That is when my mind will be pure and cleared again. and i guess that is complete insanity.
but there is a line between Insanity and Choas, i can't yet draw the line yet tho.

Peace out my brothers. Everyone has a little bit of insanity in them

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Grav]
#892159 - 09/18/02 08:45 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

dont needlessly punish yourself

No, that is my job. :wink:

:wink:

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#892170 - 09/18/02 08:50 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I feel that when i go completely insane, is when i finially open my eyes to the world.

Umm, I was working down the street in Sunnyvale, CA (circa 1986?) when a guy (another programmer - jeeesh) went completely insane and opened up on his co-workers with an AK-47 because a girl refused to date him (the bitch!).

Somehow I see insanity and enlightenment as being polar opposites. One is not a sign of progress towards the other.

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892173 - 09/18/02 08:54 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

true true Swami, But there are many different directions of insanity. i am not the dude that is gonna go kill people cause a girl fucks me over. Instead i would move on to another. that was Chaotic not Insanity, remember there is a difference, i just don't know where that line is, but i know there is a difference.

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#892191 - 09/18/02 09:01 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

In an unstable and ungrounded mindstate it is very easy to make irrational decisions. A person who does not have a violent nature may easily injure themselves in this frame of mind.

I knew a young lady who used to cut herself as a way to get grounded through the pain and as an expression of guilt and confusion.

All I am saying is chaotic thoughts are a sign that one seriously needs grounding techniques (meditation, exercise, hobbies, friends, goals, etc.), not a sign that one is opening to a higher plane of understanding or reality.

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Edited by Swami (09/18/02 09:10 PM)

Extras:

GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892200 - 09/18/02 09:07 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

yeah, i guess i did make myself sound like a choatic wanna be killer. When you are right, i really do wanna learn to Meditate. But i do want Higher Enlightenment, but i do believe you have to be somewhat insane to reach that higher Knowlege. I guess you don't have to just completely snap out of your sences. I presented myself wrong. sorry

Peace out my brothers.....Everyone has a little bit of insanity in them

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#892216 - 09/18/02 09:16 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Check my library sale. Here are a few I would recommend for grounding:

There is a Place Where You are Not Alone, Hugh Prather

To Know Your Self, Swami Satchidanda

Living in the Light, Shakti Gawain

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892222 - 09/18/02 09:20 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

sadly i am not much of a reader. But i might look into those books, when you mean groudnig, what do you mean, calming down...sadly i think i kinda know how to meditate, just those books tell you how?

peace out my brothers........Everyone has a litte bit of insanity in them

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Smack31
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 10,681

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892255 - 09/18/02 09:45 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

>Somehow I see insanity and enlightenment as being polar opposites. One is not a sign of progress towards the other

lets say that line represents understanding, or brain capacity or whatever. like you said, insanity and enlightenment are polar opposites... the deeper you are in your insanity, the more you can comprehend. same thing applies to the other side as well. so let?s say you are totally fucking insane, and somehow you manage to get control of your thoughts... follow the wave, where does it go? it?s the same level of comprehension, you?re just using the energy to process different information.

that could be way off, but i think it?s a nice theory.... :grin:

:grin:

Extras:

Servator
Viral Agent

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 4,893

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Smack31]
#892265 - 09/18/02 09:52 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

IMO Insanity is the result of a weak mind attaining enlightenment.
If you learn the truths of the Universe, and you are strong, then you're mind(spirit/soul whatever the hell you like to call it) will rise to new levels of inspiration and understanding. If your mind is weak however, you will be crushed under the weight of truths you are unable to handle, and become a fearful, dangerous creature.
Just my thoughts
:laugh:

:laugh:

--------------------
My Glass Pipes
My $15 Electric Sterilizer

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Shroomism
Space Travellin

Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Smack31]
#892271 - 09/18/02 09:56 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Wow Smack... that is the best graph I've seen in weeks :grin:

:grin:

--------------------

Extras:

Smack31
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 10,681

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Shroomism]
#892309 - 09/18/02 10:15 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

got a scroll wheel on your mouse? center the image on your screen and roll it up and down really fast without letting the image go off the screen... it gets all trippy and shit :grin:

:grin:

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Smack31]
#892351 - 09/18/02 11:06 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks a lot bro. I did that and it triggered a grand mal seizure.

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

Anonymous

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892566 - 09/19/02 04:22 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Good suggestions on the books. I have "There is a place.... and Living in the Light. Excellent choices. You are a helpful sort aren't you. :wink:

:wink:

Cheers for Swami,

Extras:

Anonymous

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Smack31]
#892568 - 09/19/02 04:24 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Voice to Smack referencing graphic, in Darth Vader voice:

Most Impressive.

Extras:

Sclorch
Clyster

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#892571 - 09/19/02 04:25 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks a lot bro. I did that and it triggered a grand mal seizure.

Just saw one of those up close a few weeks ago.... intense man.

--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

Extras:

Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Sclorch]
#892989 - 09/19/02 08:37 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Interesting aside, epileptic seizures were at one time thought to be a sign of possession by evil spirits.

Seems the human mind hates a mystery and will always make up a story about something that it cannot understand. Kind of like UFOs and deep mushroom journeys...

--------------------

The proof is in the pudding.

Extras:

Revelation
ॐ

Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Servator]
#893012 - 09/19/02 08:46 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

If you learn the truths of the Universe, and you are strong, then you're mind(spirit/soul whatever the hell you like to call it) will rise to new levels of inspiration and understanding. If your mind is weak however, you will be crushed under the weight of truths you are unable to handle, and become a fearful, dangerous creature.

Basically my thoughts too. Yes. I concur.

--------------------

Extras:

CleverName
the cloudsshould know meby now...

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 1,121
Loc: red earth painted with mi...
Last seen: 20 years, 8 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#893022 - 09/19/02 08:51 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

"i just know i want to be crazy, for most crazy's are right so they are really not crazy..."

listen, stop trying so hard, in fact stop trying, in fact stop :wink:

:wink:

--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose

Extras:

Anonymous

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Revelation]
#893065 - 09/19/02 09:01 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I agree as well. Besides, he's cute. :grin:

:grin:

Cheers,

Extras:

MushroomSally
Canadian SnowAngel

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1,872
Loc: Up the road
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Swami]
#893083 - 09/19/02 09:05 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

...so true!

(cool smack)

--------------------

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants
The bartender says “Hey Pirate, what’s with the steering wheel down your pants?”
“Arrrrrrg says the Pirate, it’s drivin me nutz”

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ViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg

Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 23 years, 1 month

Re: Unsure title

[Re: GrowingVines]
#893578 - 09/19/02 12:51 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

Growing Vines i used to think the same way. that is you trying to escape your anxiety. I had recently attained near full enlightenment and overcome my anxiety when it happened. I started getting funny thoughts all of a sudden and my back started to hurt. i became very creative, more so then on a strong shroom trip, people said that i had lost it, i could not think normally, i felt compelled to attain full enlightenment at that second, but instead i drifted into a void witches and goblins and delusions. it looked as if i was in some medievel setting and nothing looked familiar. some kids looked like trolls, and others knomes and barbarians, it was like i travelled back in time. it seemed like i was in some sort of evil forest. i'm sorry if i was a bit upfront with the anxiety thing, and hey i could be completely wrong but it doesnt seem that way from my standpoint. if you really want to go insane, this is what you should do, practice the eraserhead technique. concentrate on your third eye and imagine a black void inside of it, the effect are quite delerius. do this for hours and hours, its better than the anxiety and i have been doing it cause i cant fucken meditate right now.

peace>

--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "

Extras:

GrowingVines
Slowly Changinginto a Tree

Registered: 08/22/02
Posts: 301
Loc: GA
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: ViBrAnT]
#893869 - 09/19/02 03:01 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I don't want to stop trying, but then again i do, lets just say i am confussed of something, but i don't know what that something is. its weird, i just need to be mellow.....melllllllllow.........mellllllllllllllllllllooooooow

--------------------
Peace out my brothers, for everyone has a bit of insanity in them

Extras:

Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire

Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months

Re: Unsure title

[Re: Servator]
#894031 - 09/19/02 04:26 PM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I am a dangerous, fearful creature. :frown:

:frown:

--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

Extras:

Sclorch
Clyster

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness

Re: Unsure title

[Re: ViBrAnT]
#895309 - 09/20/02 07:27 AM (23 years, 10 months ago)

I had recently attained near full enlightenment

I'm sorry... but this statement is meaningless.
How can the unaware know how close they are to being aware?

That's why no one should strive for enlightenment... they should just focus on becoming.

BACK TO THE TOPIC NOW....

--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

Extras:

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Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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