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 Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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 Cutting off contact with someone you love 
#8813383 - 08/22/08 10:05 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Long story short, tonight I cut off contact with an ex that I still love (she still loves me too).
She was my first true love, was with her for 3 years (yeah, her again). I went through a period of 2 years not talking to her after we broke up. Once I did contact her it was like things never ended. It really seemed like we would end up married some day, she thought so too.
But she has a history of making shitty life decisions that just make things worse for her. She has recently made the same shitty, stupid decisions and surrounded herself with people who bring her down. I guess some people never learn and history repeats it's self.
We had a huge fight. I won't get into it, but I ended up telling her off and stating how she constantly is undependable and surrounds herself with shitty people who make her life worse. I cut off contact with her completely. I have no plans of ever talking to her again.
Should make me feel better, right? It doesn't. As stupid/naive as she is, I still love her to death. I'll miss a ton, but this just has to be done. And you know what? It really, really sucks to say "goodbye forever" to someone you truly love.
Oh well, such is life. It is what it is. 
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Entropymancer
Registered: 07/16/05
Posts: 10,207
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 Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813391 - 08/22/08 10:08 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear that dude. Cutting off contact with someone you love is always going to hurt, but it sounds like you made the best decision you could with the situation.
Like you said
Quote:
Oh well, such is life. It is what it is.
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Crasher
αἱρετίζω
Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 6,220
Loc: Tardy to the Party
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813393 - 08/22/08 10:08 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Bummer. It's always unfortunate to burn bridges, but some need to be burned.
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Give me silence, water, hope;
Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Crasher]
#8813403 - 08/22/08 10:10 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crasher said:
Bummer. It's always unfortunate to burn bridges, but some need to be burned.
Sometimes it's better for both sides to not have anything more to do with one another.
I haven't spoken to my father in almost two years, aside from one brief, awful phone call. Not the same as a girlfriend but still, I love the man, but we're no good for each other.
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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
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 FunGuyFan
Stranger
Registered: 02/28/03
Posts: 1,171
Loc: Hack Hack Cough Cough
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813404 - 08/22/08 10:10 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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I have done this to a family member before and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made, especially considering I was a child at the time
Good luck to you
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neverwhere
Fenway Faithful
Registered: 04/03/00
Posts: 803
Loc: Boston
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813407 - 08/22/08 10:11 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've been trying to cut contact with my first love too, but it's just so so hard.
My story is a little bit different, but I understand where you are coming from. I know staying far far away from him would only be in my best interest, but it's terryfying ro imagine I will never talk to him again. Knowing he will only break my heart over and over doesn't make it easier.
Thus, he gets deleted/added into my buddy list or phone on a regular rotation. Sigh.
Sorry man. It might suck right now, but when you make the right decisions in life it usually lets itself be known.
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"The United States is nation of laws; badly written and randomly enforced." -Frank Zappa
"If the police ever come knocking, I'm hiding my lava lamp before I hide my piece"-elsd
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Crasher]
#8813427 - 08/22/08 10:15 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crasher said:
Bummer. It's always unfortunate to burn bridges, but some need to be burned.
Yep, sometimes they do need to be burned. I nuked this one. I'll miss her, but whatevs. Like I've always said, time heals everything.
I just hope I can meet someone just as good or better than her. It's tough though because not many attractive girls are as nerdy as I am :P
Attractive science chicks = one in a million, unfortunately. Perhaps my intelligence standards are set too high. I don't think I'll change them anytime soon though.
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highdroponics 
Professional Deadhead
Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 5,574
Loc: Earth, Milky Way Galaxy 
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: neverwhere]
#8813438 - 08/22/08 10:17 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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you don't stand a chance at just a friendship relationship? if not then yes, you made the right decision.
--------------------
Dr  says to stop trying to treat the side-effects of big government and focus on the core issues. End the Federal Reserve/audit the gold reserves at Fort Knox, abolish the IRS, end all wars and occupancies, stop the building of an empire that will inevitably fail, and cut all unconstitutional federal programs. Put the power back in the peoples' hands by ending this nanny-state.
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dill705
Amazed
Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 3,779
Loc: The Cat's Cradle
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813477 - 08/22/08 10:27 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said:
Attractive science chicks = one in a million, unfortunately.
~dill's girlfriend~
hey cheer up, there are almost 7 BILLION people in this world, so one in a million odds aren't really that bad.
{i know where your coming from, so i can make light of the situation} 
--------------------
My advice is to find those things that give pleasure and do them often without too much attachment and relax and wait for the show to end.
-Icelander-
I like free markets and all. Truly I do, at least in general, but there needs to be some kind of oversight in recognition of sustainability. Life works the same way, on a bunch of sustainable systems. Why not honor what made us what we are and take some lessons? Nature FTW!
~dill705~
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neverwhere
Fenway Faithful
Registered: 04/03/00
Posts: 803
Loc: Boston
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: highdroponics]
#8813486 - 08/22/08 10:31 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
highdroponics said:
you don't stand a chance at just a friendship relationship? if not then yes, you made the right decision.
Is this directed at me or Gumby?
If you mean me, no, it probably wont work. I have too many feelings, he just wants a fuck buddy now...far too many dynamics there.
For Gumby, without knowing the entire story, I'd say it sounds like friendship wouldn't work in this case.
Sometimes you just need to walk away.
--------------------
"The United States is nation of laws; badly written and randomly enforced." -Frank Zappa
"If the police ever come knocking, I'm hiding my lava lamp before I hide my piece"-elsd
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NastyDHL
Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,586
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813490 - 08/22/08 10:32 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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As long as you are doing what is right for you and your future, and not doing something just because it's what you want or desire, then you have made the right choice my friend.
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demiu5
humans, lol
Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813498 - 08/22/08 10:34 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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i pretty much finally accomplished this in the last 24 hours
unforuntately it was through text message
she's definitely not happy, because she hasn't sent anything back, but 
it's better this way
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channel your inner Larry David
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: neverwhere]
#8813546 - 08/22/08 10:46 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah, friendship really isn't an option. We did that for the past 8 months. Every time she'd make a shitty decision I found myself getting all worked up emotionally. I don't need that. It's just one more element of stress in my life and I could do without that.
She is better off forgotten. If only it were that easy.
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demiu5
humans, lol
Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8813552 - 08/22/08 10:47 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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it's funny how the girls, ime, always seems to be the one wanting the friendship scenario after things go south...even if they've been told before that it won't work
yea 
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channel your inner Larry David
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highdroponics
Professional Deadhead
Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 5,574
Loc: Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: neverwhere]
#8813553 - 08/22/08 10:48 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
neverwhere said:
Quote:
highdroponics said:
you don't stand a chance at just a friendship relationship? if not then yes, you made the right decision.
Is this directed at me or Gumby?
If you mean me, no, it probably wont work. I have too many feelings, he just wants a fuck buddy now...far too many dynamics there.
For Gumby, without knowing the entire story, I'd say it sounds like friendship wouldn't work in this case.
Sometimes you just need to walk away.
yeah it was directed at gumby, sorry for the reply directed at you.
--------------------
Dr says to stop trying to treat the side-effects of big government and focus on the core issues. End the Federal Reserve/audit the gold reserves at Fort Knox, abolish the IRS, end all wars and occupancies, stop the building of an empire that will inevitably fail, and cut all unconstitutional federal programs. Put the power back in the peoples' hands by ending this nanny-state.
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8818532 - 08/24/08 12:43 AM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Man. This really sucks. It's so hard to let this go. I love the girl so much. But if I talk to her it just puts me back in the same shitty situation I was in before. God damn, I wish people weren't so stupid.
One thing I will NEVER understand is people who have self-destructive personalties. Anyone here know psychology? Why do people develop self-destructive personalities?
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CaptainH13
Scum
Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 10,287
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8818545 - 08/24/08 12:52 AM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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I just went through the same thing with my chick of 2 years or so.
I'm a solitary cold hearted asshole,and in general i don't give a fuck that she's gone,but there are random times were it (us breaking up) infuriates me so much i can't even move. That plus her making stupid fucking choices has lead me to do the same thing.
I put up with so much bullshit for her, put so much into our relationship,more than I've ever put into any person to person interaction, for it to end like it did, there's just no way i can ever see her again. I need to erase her from my existence. It pains me to no end,but i gots too. 
So i feel you pretty damn well.
Quote:
Gumby said:
Man. This really sucks. It's so hard to let this go. I love the girl so much. But if I talk to her it just puts me back in the same shitty situation I was in before. God damn, I wish people weren't so stupid.
That's basically exactly how i feel right now too.
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: CaptainH13]
#8818663 - 08/24/08 01:53 AM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
CaptainH13 said:
I need to erase her from my existence.
I hear ya man. If there were a way to erase someone and all memories associated with them, that would make life SO much easier.
Balls. I guess I need to figure out how to do that in my neuroscience research.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: Gumby]
#8819189 - 08/24/08 08:15 AM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said:
Why do people develop self-destructive personalities?
without knowing her I couldnt give you an exact answer, rarely is
it motivated by attention seeking, often it's due to depression,
or as a mechanisim to cope with stress, in some cases it's an
attempt to cut ties with someone because they fear hurting them,
the latter I believe may apply to your situation
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Cutting off contact with someone you love [Re: CaptainH13]
#8819201 - 08/24/08 08:20 AM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
CaptainH13 said:
I need to erase her from my existence.
I prefer to remember their better qualities and bury the
things that pushed me to the point of turning away, it
helps to eliminate the anger I associate with them
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