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Offlinezoomified
Stranger
Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 3
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
My god, I need help...
    #8812531 - 08/22/08 08:26 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Where do i begin, the situation has become so in depth that I have ben sent to last messures to ask the shroomery.. well here it is... My brother is about 25 and he had a GF that he spent 6 years with, he fathered 2 children and took on one that was her's. Well he was never happy, being a musision he he had dreams. He is working a full time job as a painter, and has supported his children the whole way. the way it was, his GF was in charge of the bills.
He brought home the food. She is overweight and VVVary controlling, to the point where she moniters all his computer activities, checks his email. He went to a bar one night with his sister to talk and she monitered the charge on his card through the banks website, she then flipped out on him and went to the bar to see if the women were"hot".
This is not even the cake of this situation.  shes done alot worse shit. she wont let him go anywhere alone, every where he goes she goes. and when hes does have to go somewhere alone she calls to make sure where he is at least 3-4 times in an hour pereiod.but yet she goes to concerts almost every night with her friends.
Now my brother is not the best, hes was never happy with her, mostly because she is not physically apealing, she is into goth and does not wish to change. she is Vary manipulative and twists words around so perfect and lies to people so sly that she makes herself out to be the inocent girl. She blames every person possible but her self.
im short on time so ill go into more detail later. but the issue now is.. my bro smacked his child because this kid is a little shit that is greedy and unapretiated. he smacked him a little to hard. He actually realized he needed help, made ends with his child and promised to get help and never hit him again. Well His GF new about it and that it wasnt that serious but she ended up getiing SS called on her. the kids got taken away. my brother is fucked. He is now in counsiling out on his own, has his own car is actually doing good for himself. well she is fucking phsyco. She calls him one day and says she wants to work things out, then she calls him again the next day and doesnt want shit to do with him... sort on time sorry ill explain it more later...


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Invisiblewhattheheck
Chief Love Lover
Male


Registered: 06/01/07
Posts: 7,380
Loc: Denver Colorado
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: zoomified]
    #8812794 - 08/22/08 09:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:shrug:


--------------------
A society whose whole idea is to eliminate suffering and bring it's members the greatest amount of comfort and pleasure is doomed to be destroyed -Thomas Merton


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/19/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: whattheheck]
    #8812843 - 08/22/08 09:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

whattheheck said:
:shrug:





heh, that's more of a response than i could muster


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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InvisibleCameron
Too Many Words
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: zoomified]
    #8813297 - 08/22/08 11:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So he's done with psycho lady. Good. If he didn't love her and she was a huge pain in his ass, why go back?
Your brother does realize that his child's behavior is a result of his parenting, doesn't he? Hitting your kids is an admission of weakness. If you can't outwit a six-year-old, you should not be parenting one. He sounds like a bully or a drunk or both.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: zoomified]
    #8814587 - 08/23/08 09:39 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

she wont let him go anywhere alone,

Here is the source of the problem IMO. And it's not her. How does she not let him go anywhere alone? Does she hold a gun to his head? It sounds like he is a total wimp and very dysfunctional. He needs help to grow up into a man. The problem is him.

And how is this a problem for you? Your defense of his dysfunction says a lot here.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery


Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: Icelander]
    #8815372 - 08/23/08 01:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

its always difficult when children are involved......

i cant really tell you what to do, but i suggest that you do what you feel is best for your (brothers) children. just because a husband and wife messed up their lives together does not mean it is alright to mess up the lives of the children.

i suppose that it would be best for the parties invloved to actually sit down with a shrink, therapist, hell even the pastor of your local church, and talk things out, and see if a comprimise can be reached.

Its obvious that the woman in this situation (controlling wife) has some serious trust issues, and is dethly afraid of loosing her husband. Truth be told its probably because she loved him sooo much that she could not possibly feel allright without him.

but in that lies the problem, she is allowing her fear to take over emotions and logic, and in doing so is creating a self fulfilling prophecy, in which her overpowering fear of being cheated on or left, actually causes her to create a situation in which those fears will be come reality.

if it helps i have been the over controlling one in the past, and i have been the controlled one as well in another situation. usually some time apart and some mediated conversations really will help. best of luck


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflineScavengerType
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 5,784
Loc: The North
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: My god, I need help... [Re: ZippoZ]
    #8818912 - 08/24/08 06:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I've seen worse situations. I mean it is his kid and that should be a tragedy, but anything to get away from a woman like that is a blessing even if in disguise. I don't think he should try and get back with her. He should write her off and do his own thing trust me, even though it hurts now and he's lost a lot he will probibly come around. I've noticed women are particularly controlling when they think you know you can do better. So if your testimony is any indicator I think she's known for quite some time. I have to agree with Icelander though he's brought it on himself, in some way at least. Why is he even listening to her when she talks about getting back the crazy bitch probibly cost him his kids.


--------------------
"Have you ever seen what happens when a grenade goes off in a school? Do you really know what you’re doing when you order shock and awe? Are you prepared to kneel beside a dying soldier and tell him why he went to Iraq, or why he went to any war?"
"The things that are done in the name of the shareholder are, to me, as terrifying as the things that are done—dare I say it—in the name of God. Montesquieu said, "There have never been so many civil wars as in the Kingdom of God." And I begin to feel that’s true. The shareholder is the excuse for everything."
- Author and former M6/M5 agent John le Carré on Democracy Now.
Conquer's Club


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