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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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My Way or the Highway
    #8801049 - 08/20/08 03:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

How is that for a philosophy to live by?

When you do things your way, with or without the support and co-operation of others, you get to live in your dream zone.

However, you also may end up doing a lot flying solo without the give to compromise, let others take the lead some times, or trust.

Is there something dysfunctional about the "my way or the highway" philosophy?

Is there merit to it or is it better to learn to always work with others as in- strength in numbers, two heads are better then one, united we stand, divided we fall, etc.?


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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InvisibleLakefingers

Registered: 08/26/05
Posts: 6,439
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801084 - 08/20/08 03:39 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

not any more dysfunctional than going your way, on your highway,
and still running the risk of cruising for a bruising.
veritably.


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InvisibleCameron
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801086 - 08/20/08 03:39 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I think that kind of attitude only fits perfect people. If I'm being asked to comply unquestioningly to someone else's will, I expect their ideas to be flawless every time. Since I will never meet a perfect person, I consider any and all input to be valid until proven wrong.
I think 'my way or the highway' is a reliable indication of serious egomania. :shrug:


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Lakefingers]
    #8801122 - 08/20/08 03:50 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Lakefingers said:
not any more dysfunctional than going your way, on your highway,
and still running the risk of cruising for a bruising.
veritably.




So are you saying the downside is, there is no one else to balme when things go to crap? :lol:


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Cameron]
    #8801129 - 08/20/08 03:53 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Cameron said:
I think that kind of attitude only fits perfect people. If I'm being asked to comply unquestioningly to someone else's will, I expect their ideas to be flawless every time. Since I will never meet a perfect person, I consider any and all input to be valid until proven wrong.
I think 'my way or the highway' is a reliable indication of serious egomania. :shrug:




You probably meant to say "perfectionists" are typically my way or highway types.

Is it always a sign of egomania? What if one just prefers their way to anothers way? Like how some like the scenic route and some like the short cut through the arid scrub.


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InvisibleLakefingers

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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801134 - 08/20/08 03:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

the strength in my way or the highway is management/parenting by fear

but i was talking about the double standard,
my way or the highway,
either way someone's got their radar dector on you


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InvisibleCameron
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801146 - 08/20/08 03:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I think even a perfectionist will consider others ideas. If they refuse to entertain the possibility that their plan is flawed, how will they achieve perfection unless they are perfect to begin with?
If it's a question of preference and not efficiency, then they're not necessarily an egomaniac. They could just be insufferably selfish.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Lakefingers]
    #8801179 - 08/20/08 04:08 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Lakefingers said:
the strength in my way or the highway is management/parenting by fear

but i was talking about the double standard,
my way or the highway,
either way someone's got their radar dector on you




That's when a group with two or more opposing wills stays in tact, yet only one gets their way and the rest choose to follow it.

Who's holding the radar on you if you end up going off on your own road, your own way,  by yourself?

Where does fear come into play if someone says it in a threatening way, if the other person doesn't even want to do things your way?

Are you referring to it working on those to afraid to go it alone on something or to find others more simpatico?


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Cameron]
    #8801182 - 08/20/08 04:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i think "my way or the highway" applies well when you know well what you're doing. It could also include a "listen to the input of others" clause. Teamwork is valuable, but so is leadership.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


“Walking around 6 million years ago. Looking kind of human 1 million years ago. Writing things down 6 thousand years ago.”


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Cameron]
    #8801187 - 08/20/08 04:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Cameron said:
I think even a perfectionist will consider others ideas. If they refuse to entertain the possibility that their plan is flawed, how will they achieve perfection unless they are perfect to begin with?
If it's a question of preference and not efficiency, then they're not necessarily an egomaniac. They could just be insufferably selfish.




Insightful!


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Rahz]
    #8801190 - 08/20/08 04:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Rahz said:
i think "my way or the highway" applies well when you know well what you're doing. It could also include a "listen to the input of others" clause. Teamwork is valuable, but so is leadership.




That's a way I didn't look at it before. Thanks.


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InvisibleLakefingers

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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801193 - 08/20/08 04:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

guilt, anxiety, superego could hold a radar on uncharted paths, but what i wanted to point out was the manipulative nature of "my way or the highway", that is the double-bind it tries to put you in

fear is the method by which "my way or the highway" attempts to dominate

i'm saying that people who say "my way or the highway" are in most cases manipulative jerks


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8801198 - 08/20/08 04:17 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

There appears to be some confusion about the particular way in which you are applying this saying.  Usually, "my way or the highway" is said to someone else...as in "you had better choose to do it my way or else you have to hit the road."

I think that you are using it in a different way...as in "the road less traveled."  If someone applies this saying to their OWN actions, and chooses to guide themselves along a side road rather than zooming mindlessly down the Interstate with the masses, then it is not manipulative nor a power trip.  However, in the usual application of this phrase, it is definitely an ultimatum and expresses a desire to control someone else.


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Lakefingers]
    #8801205 - 08/20/08 04:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You mean like if you're an American in 2002 and not for the Iraq War then you are not a patriot?


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Lakefingers]
    #8801206 - 08/20/08 04:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Lakefingers said:
guilt, anxiety, superego could hold a radar on uncharted paths, but what i wanted to point out was the manipulative nature of "my way or the highway", that is the double-bind it tries to put you in

fear is the method by which "my way or the highway" attempts to dominate

i'm saying that people who say "my way or the highway" are in most cases manipulative jerks




Interesting insight in the bold I never thought of.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Veritas]
    #8801214 - 08/20/08 04:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Veritas said:

I think that you are using it in a different way...as in "the road less traveled."  If someone applies this saying to their OWN actions, and chooses to guide themselves along a side road rather than zooming mindlessly down the Interstate with the masses, then it is not manipulative nor a power trip.  However, in the usual application of this phrase, it is definitely an ultimatum and expresses a desire to control someone else.




I was curious about others insights into the first way, but more specifically your second way brought clarity to what I was really wanting a better look at.

Thanks for that second part!


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #8801217 - 08/20/08 04:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
You mean like if you're an American in 2002 and not for the Iraq War then you are not a patriot?




That one is more like-

My way or it's Gitmo for you! :evil:


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Veritas]
    #8801225 - 08/20/08 04:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

>>>>However, in the usual application of this phrase, it is definitely an ultimatum and expresses a desire to control someone else.

And what is wrong with that?


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


“Walking around 6 million years ago. Looking kind of human 1 million years ago. Writing things down 6 thousand years ago.”


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Rahz]
    #8801234 - 08/20/08 04:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Did I say it was wrong?  :confused:  I believe I was clarifying the difference between applying the phrase to oneself and applying it to others, not making a moral judgment.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: My Way or the Highway [Re: Veritas]
    #8801279 - 08/20/08 04:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Veritas said:
Did I say it was wrong?  :confused:  I believe I was clarifying the difference between applying the phrase to oneself and applying it to others, not making a moral judgment.




It's okay with me if moral judgments are made in this post towards those that use the my way or highway approach in life. I want to hear how others honestly percieve it.

Really, I was looking at the type that takes the road less travelled so they are free to customize it along the way, even though, they end up not benefiting from the team dynamic that comes with the price of some restrictions and compromises.

Is there something wrong with that type of person? I can see it where either might be a weakness or a strength.

As I am seeing it through others eyes, there may be and maybe not some ego at play.

Han Solo just came to mind. He seemed like the My Way or Highway type, who eventually learned to become a team player.

I am curious in general what makes people lone wolves and if they are missing out or if it is the best way for some people to travel.

I am really appreciating all of the insights.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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