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I value a certain amount of stability, but i also need excitement in my life.
Psychedelics have given me a more stable mind set, although i think its probably an unusual one compared with the rest society.
I can afford to buy them and don't use them regularly so economics is not a problem. Socially however it can be difficult. I have to hide my use from people close to me which makes me uncomfortable because i like to be honest. And i have to be very careful about talking about them to people outside my social circle. I hate to be thought of in terms of the stereotypical image society has of drug users.
I find that i think differently to most people because of the things i have experienced. This has good points in that i am able to develop my own individual way of thought and bad points because i find it hard to relate these ideas to other people.
Cannabis has given me a lot of good times in my life. I think it has given me stability because i have met a lot of friends through smoking it and it also helps keep us together because we share the same hobby.
I think i may have a unique brain chemistry because cannabis has had some negative effects on me mentally. I smoked it for years with no problem. I smoked it very regularly several times a day. Eventually i had a psychotic break and was hospitalized for five days. I have smoked cannabis since and it has had the same effect, where as psychedelics do not cause this problem. This makes me think that cannabis has a fairly unique effect on me in comparison to other drugs.
Funnily enough the psychotic episodes i have had have taught me a lot about myself and other people and i am now a more peaceful and open person. So in a strange way it has given me stability in that sense.
At this time i use LSD once or twice a month and sometimes i smoke cannabis, although i usually regret using cannabis later. I think my time with cannabis is over, i don't regret my time spent with it because i learned a lot but its time for me to move on.
I believe i am on the path to building a stable career. I have recently got a diploma with distinction, psychedelic drug use did not interfere with me achieving this at all. Although towards the end of one of my semesters i smoked cannabis and had another psychotic experience. This caused me to only be able to complete one of the subjects i needed to complete that semester. I recovered and completed the rest of the subjects next semester.
In summary i believe overall psychedelics have added stability to me life by helping me to work through some issues and showing me how beutiful life can be. Thanks to a unique brain chemistry my cannabis use reduced stability and i have had some very difficult times which in the end i have learned from.