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Anonymous #1

Last night I shit in the bathtub
    #8720526 - 08/03/08 05:20 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I was drunk as hell at the bar and come home shitfaced.  I went to sleep I guess but awoke sometime later and came into recollection as I was vomiting into the bathtub.  I had a huge helping of garlic fries for dinner so my puke was massive and full of undigested fry chunks.  They got stuck in my throat as I was vomiting so I had to hock up puke chunks between heaves.

When I finished vomiting I noticed a big steamy mound of turd pudding next to the vomit and that the bath matt under my knees was wet.  So, before I started throwing I must have sat on the tub rim like it was the toilet and shat and pissed. 

Anyways, I scooped up the soft serve beef pile into my hand and disposed of most of it into the toilet in just a couple scoops.  Then I ran the shower for a while to wash out the tub.  The vomit chunks were too big to fit down the drain so I had to mash them through the drain with my hand.

Any good vomiting, shitting, or urine stories out there?  Your stories should preferably begin something like "I was drunk as hell...".

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Anonymous #2

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8720542 - 08/03/08 05:23 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

one time i ate a bunch of DOC and shat my pants while attempting to fart.

RCs give me horrible gas. and it smells like death.

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Anonymous #3

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8720558 - 08/03/08 05:26 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Once I got drunk and apparently got up in the middle of the night and pissed on my friend's wall by a plug in neon beer logo. He tried to stop me and I said "hold on Im almost done". I have no recollection of it though, I mustve sleepwalked.

Then I did it twice at someone else's house, where I used to drink. I was drunk and sleepwalking, pissed once in a trash can in front of his mom, little sister, step dad and little brother; and another time in his closet. I dont remember either of those instances.

Onetime on an ounce of mushrooms I couldnt find it to pull it out and when I did pull it out I couldnt go so I said "fuck it" and just peed my pants.

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Anonymous #4

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8720571 - 08/03/08 05:29 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
shat my pants while attempting to fart.





Yeah man, i feel you. That's the fucking devil in person. You run faster than hell when that shit happens. Hey that really is shit happening ...

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Anonymous #5

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8720597 - 08/03/08 05:34 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

ah when i first experienced getting shitfaced hahaha


so i, having not been drunk before asked advice from my good friend who was experienced in getting drunk. i looked in my mom's cabinet of booze and was surprised to find many a bottle of vodka and Bacardi 151 (like 70%(140 proof)). so he told me take 6 shots of the Bacardi and your set, thankfully i decided against it and took 1 shot of the bacardi and mixed it with 2 shots of vodka(40%). i proceeded to chug this mix down which didn't burn quite as bad as i had expected. after getting mindlessly drunk i decided to roll on the floor a bit because it felt amazing. i also did the police line (or attempted) and was so drunk i tripped and fell on my bed which was amazing cause i could hardly get up. i decided to get back into bed and then wham i grab the puke can and puke around 3 times? filling it up about 1 or 2 inches. i think i passed out after that cause i have no memory after puking and just woke up the next day with a huge ass hangover.


it was pretty fun hahaha.

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Anonymous #6

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8720787 - 08/03/08 06:19 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I was very drunk at a friends house and walked over to what I thought was the toilet but was actually a houseplant. I had already pissed and didn't get any on the wall so I never bothered telling him and just continued drinking.

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Anonymous #7

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8720805 - 08/03/08 06:22 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Onetime on an ounce of mushrooms I couldnt find it to pull it out and when I did pull it out I couldnt go so I said "fuck it" and just peed my pants.




LMAO hahaha

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Anonymous #8

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #8720921 - 08/03/08 06:48 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

You know, there's an Ebay ad at the bottom of this thread.

"Shop for: Toilet Paper"

lol

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Anonymous #5

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #8721079 - 08/03/08 07:25 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
You know, there's an Ebay ad at the bottom of this thread.

"Shop for: Toilet Paper"

lol





i love those ads they are always somehow mystically related to the topic.


and i see my pressure cooker in almost every ebay ad hahaha

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Anonymous #9

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8722258 - 08/04/08 12:24 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I was completely shitfaced and high as hell sleeping over at a friends one night.

Me and her had decided since it was kinda cool but warm out and she lives in a more rural area we'd set down some blankets and stare at the stars. So were just chilling there, drunkenly chatting about how beautiful the sky is when i get up and say

"i need to barf..i feel like a sprinkler.'

I proceeded to move as a sprinkler does the jerky segmented spray followed by one continuous one after its done its cycle...yea i controlled my barfing so itd be like that.

She didn't really care...next morning there was barf all over the backyard and gardens. I nearly pissed myself laughing recalling the story.

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Anonymous #10

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8722880 - 08/04/08 05:36 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Not the best,but I can't remember good ones.

One time while tripping balls alone,my buds called to come over. I forgot about it,and for some odd reason they decided to come bang on my window instead of knock on the door. I was so shocked i thought i shit myself...I didn't have time to check,so i had to sit around with these people,for like 2 hours while all i could think about was the shit i could have sworn was running down my leg,and they would surely see it.  I actually didn't even sit down,i was too scared the oozing shit would show itself. I just leaned against the walls the whole time. It was the most awkward two hours in my life. I was so started by them,and my pants were so full of liquid shit,and i was tripping so hard,all day,by myself, i just didn't know what to do or say. They didn't know i was tripping until they left,and I didn't want to just burst out that i was tripping nuts while were all just kinda silent. So i was afriad them seeing me whole lower half covered in shit would surely give me away.





in high school I'd get completely fucking retarded on pills right before school. One morning i was alreaddy fucked up as hell, trying to get to class. the hallways were filled. In my rushing around i just instinctively,and calmly walked into the bathroom. I wasn't even sure why,until about 2 seconds in. I made it to the sinks, when i showered the entire sink areas with horrid puke.

not but a second later i just walked out and keep going like it was nothing.  The whole thing was just one solid motion,lasting like 5 seconds,hah.

halfway down the hall i started hearing kids yell.



'bout a year ago, i got way,way shitty with a friend,and puked like 3 solid pounds of thai noodles all over my back porch. They looked perfect. Unchewed and perfectly clean,hah. it was fucking hilarious.

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Anonymous #11

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #8722957 - 08/04/08 06:36 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

My friend and I were at this party in the city and he always gets way too drunk too fast.  Anyway, he was passed out on the floor for a minute, he gets up on his knees and starts exorcism vomiting like...3 feet spew distance.  No joke.  I had to clean it up because dumb ass was too drunk to do anything.

In my fraternity: multiple reports of laundry basket urinating, one 'shump' report, plenty of puking on the floor reports (including myself).

I vomited just the other night on this house's party room floor, and all over my arm because I was trying to like...cover my mouth...but that didn't work and i spewed down my forearm. 

Who hasn't peed their bed when drunk?  I have plenty of times.  One of my friends always gets real drunk and pisses on his girlfriend in their sleep.  Hahha

I've got plenty of other ones too, too numerous to recount.  But pissing and puking down here in my town are commonplace for drunks!

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Anonymous #12

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8722979 - 08/04/08 06:51 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I'm glad I don't get drunk.

Seriously, you pay money to shit and vom over yourself, stagger around and get in drunken fights? How is this fun?

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Anonymous #6

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #8723479 - 08/04/08 10:21 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm glad I don't get drunk.

Seriously, you pay money to shit and vom over yourself, stagger around and get in drunken fights? How is this fun?




Pretty fucking fun at the time, you feel great.

It's the morning after where you have regrets and feel like shit.  :confused:

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Anonymous #5

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8723497 - 08/04/08 10:27 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm glad I don't get drunk.

Seriously, you pay money to shit and vom over yourself, stagger around and get in drunken fights? How is this fun?




Pretty fucking fun at the time, you feel great.

It's the morning after where you have regrets and feel like shit.  :confused:





that sir deserves a QFT

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Anonymous #12

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8723514 - 08/04/08 10:32 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm glad I don't get drunk.

Seriously, you pay money to shit and vom over yourself, stagger around and get in drunken fights? How is this fun?




Pretty fucking fun at the time, you feel great.

It's the morning after where you have regrets and feel like shit.  :confused:




Y'see, if I'm drinking, I know that, which is why I won't drink more than two pints.

Getting high however, now I have to seriously overdo it to feel groggy the next day, even then there's no headache, no queasyness.

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Anonymous #6

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #8724214 - 08/04/08 01:06 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

It's hard to stop when you have liquid happiness flowing through your bloodstream :smirk:

Plus alcohol in high doses give me light visuals, which is pretty fucking sweet. Lights shine differently and give off a glassy appearance (like a low dose of shrooms), I don't necessarily see light trails but if something goes by quickly it's a visual blur, objects can appear out of proportion (I've had people or objects look larger then normal with exaggerated facial features, also similar to psychedelics).

I'm glad alcohol is legal, plus it compliments weed very well.
Also alcohol + stimulant = amazing! :laugh:
The best I have ever felt was with a mixture of cocaine and alcohol. The coke keeps you up and takes away all of the drowsiness and negative effects of the alcohol, so you are in complete bliss. Good times..

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Anonymous #13

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8724321 - 08/04/08 01:28 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

One time I had just gotten home from college and was drinking with some friends in my parents basement. They passed out so I went up to my room, completely shitfaced. I got up to go pee... So I'm standing there pissing and loose my balance and manage to fall in the bathtub next to the toilet... while still pissing. The bathroom is right next to my parents room. The next morning my mom was like "What the hell was that loud ass bang last night?" So I told her. A good laugh was had by all.

Another time I was in DC visiting a friend with my girlfriend. We went out drinking and got so shitfaced I don't remember leaving the bar or coming home. Girlfriend and I passed out on the futon. I wake up and I had pissed on my friends futon. Somehow I managed not to piss on my girlfriend who was passed out next to me. I never told anyone about it :lol:

And another one with that same girl... Went to a small party at this place where someone was house sitting. Got shitfaced drunk playing drinking games. Girlfriend and I ended up having sex in the hot tub... In front of everyone at the party, including her sister. Then we went to bed, had more sex, and I passed out. I woke up, tried to put on an 8 year old's clothes, then almost pissed in the closet before my girlfriend stopped me. Went to the bathroom to piss and sat down because I was too drunk to stand. I fell asleep on the toilet. Girlfriend comes and knocks on the door 20 minutes later asking if I was alright. I woke up to realize I had taken a shit. At least it was in a toilet, so I won :awesome:

Ahhh, it's been years since I've had any reckless nights like that.

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Anonymous #14

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #8725043 - 08/04/08 03:28 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Drank a bunch of fucking Popov one time and crashed in my friend's bed.

Woke up in the middle of the night with gooey shit spewing out of my ass.  My pants were off for some reason, and my friend was in the bed next to me.

There was shit all over his bed and blankets, his dresser, his high school yearbook, and some clothes.  I was still drunk as hell and didn't know what to do.  I got some socks from his room and tried to wipe most of it off, then realized I needed a place to throw the socks away.  I decided to go for the big trash can out back.

I walked downstairs through his parent's house in pitch dark, naked and covered in shit.  Climbed the pool fence in the back yard (getting shit on it that we found the next day), and threw my stuff away.

Went back upstairs, washed myself off in the bath, and passed out again.



That room smelled like shit so bad the next day when we woke up...it was embarassing as hell.  His family was awake too, and they had to have smelled it.


Damn.  God damn Popov.

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Anonymous #12

Re: Last night I shit in the bathtub [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8725261 - 08/04/08 04:16 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
It's hard to stop when you have liquid happiness flowing through your bloodstream :smirk:

Plus alcohol in high doses give me light visuals, which is pretty fucking sweet. Lights shine differently and give off a glassy appearance (like a low dose of shrooms), I don't necessarily see light trails but if something goes by quickly it's a visual blur, objects can appear out of proportion (I've had people or objects look larger then normal with exaggerated facial features, also similar to psychedelics).

I'm glad alcohol is legal, plus it compliments weed very well.
Also alcohol + stimulant = amazing! :laugh:
The best I have ever felt was with a mixture of cocaine and alcohol. The coke keeps you up and takes away all of the drowsiness and negative effects of the alcohol, so you are in complete bliss. Good times..




Mm. Doesn't work for me. Oh sure, I'd enjoy myself if I had the stuff with no consiquences later (no fiending, no hangover) but for me, it's psychedelics. The fun is in the mental roller coaster.

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