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I don't have nearly enough knowledge of near-death type experiences to make an educated reply, but it sounds likely to me that our outlook at the moment of death has a direct influence on what our reality becomes. Sort of like when your about to fall asleep and usually whatever pops into your head right before you lose consciousness is what you will dream about... *shrug* but as most people will agree, no one can know until they die.
i think our life flashes before our eyes as they say, a general overview of your life and what you've accomplished, and millions of thoughts will be in you rmind still, fading out, to either a calm nothing, or blending into yor new thoughts, your new life, and your new body
I also dont think we will feel pain in a bad way. And i think we will think something, the most significant thing ever. You may not be able to think a bout the Simpsons at the time, but you're mind will be the one creating it, so yes you have control ? And i heard somewhere that the brain is alive for 8 minutes or so after the body dies? I dunno how true that is, but its very neat.