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OfflineMurex
Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
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Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #1595581 - 05/31/03 03:49 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)


Your own mind can fool you. You must be able to sit casually and clear-headed as possable when tripping, all while flowing with it in order to see the truth from the illusions your senses create. This reality IS an illusion, but as long as you believe it isn't, it isn't. Reality is in the eye of the beholder.


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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OfflineAsanteA
hi universe! it's you!
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 78,373
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #1595747 - 05/31/03 08:36 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Be careful Symantic: your yins and yangs may still be a little out of whack.

Your friends that had the same kind of trip: it's specifix that count. Nothing is as subjective as the goings on of a human mind. You've got an impression of a trip that seemed to match the impressions that others had of their trips by comparing them by using a highly flawed communication system, namely words.

Was it COMPLETELY the same or similar? Was the S guy smoking his Cubans @ their place too? You can easily THINK you've had the same experience when you're not systematic in your questions. Language SUX. Grab a dictionary and look up: "Angry" What do you get? "Cross", look up Cross and there it sez "Angry". If you cannot fill in the blanks words can not help you at all because they are referentional and assume there's common ground.

Look up "Red". There it sez: "The colour of blood". Cool, you say, Blood's red: I know what red is. And then you and the dudes go see Lord of the Rings II. Afterwards you're sitting in Dick's Hangout with a beer and one of them says:
"Way cool: Orcs have got black blood!" And you go: "WTF?! That blood was red!!"
Well, over time the dudes found some excuse and fled your company, and while at 05:00h Dick's mopping the floor you and your friend are still trying to figure out which one of you is colourblind.

Dick, being tired, sez: "LOTR happens to be very popular around here and we all agree Orc's blood is black." So there you accept consensus reality, majority rule, and say: "well, guess it's me who'se colorblind then..."
See my point? "Red" iswhat you make of it but we simply can't compare if what's red to you or me. Now with different opinions (RED!! BLACK!! RED!!) this comes up & gets noticed, but language is merely referential to COMMON GROUND.

"Try to think of something (...) indescribable.. You can't!" That's a headgame, Symantic, don't fall for that! EVERYTHING is INDESCRIBABLE!!!
"Red" cannot be described, it can only be referred to. Everybody sees red, but can only refer to it and pray the other understands it.

I agree language holds us back tremendously but in the sense that we can't plug in an ISDN from one brain to the other for a direct hookup.

But you're into Truth games again! DROP EM PLEEEEZE!! Language is superficial and referential so thinking in words won't help you. Perhaps you could fathom it in "feelspeak", the stuff babies and cats use, but you can't post feelspeak on the Shroomery as you've only got a limited number of smileys :smirk: and these are referential too.

Take my brother for instance. You might not like to, because you're straight, but several gay guys have tried to accomplish this :grin:. Perhaps you LOL'd just now but your LOL might not be my my LOL (I get pm's all of the time by people stating my LOL is different from theirs :crazy:)

Pain is AARGH! But while you try to avoid it masochists (bless 'em) actively seek it out. So WORDS are subjective and FEELSPEAK is too.

The brain is a computer, but we have no way of knowing who's on Explorer and who's on Netscape. We simply cannot compare.

On the ICU last december (heart infarction) I have seen Infinity. Infinity came in feelspeak. There's no words to describe it. For me it was 100% real. But at the same time I've built me a firewall that sez I have yet to discover my first fact of the Truth. Al we puny humans have is silly factoid thingies with no way to verify this to the Universal Truth, which by the way is another one of our inventions.

Perhaps God is hitting a bong and we're his pipedream..
PROVE ME WRONG!!

I believe people are free to come up with all sorts of clever shit (they do) but since there's no way to check any of it the only measure of it is wether it gets them off and/or what level of offence other people take. One may believe what he wants (like Hawking) if that makes you happy (unlike most schizophrenics) and others aren't adversely affected by it (unlike Hitler).
Do not get caught in toxic philosophies!

But on with your problem. Swami said something like: the 4-hydroxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine interacted with your endogenous 5-hydroxytryptamine neurotransmitter system, mostly at the 5-HT-A1 receptors causing a rise in 3,4-dihydroxyphenethylamine which interfered with your emotional, sensory and cognitive processes. This is scientific jargon for "the drug fucked you in the head".
(No offence Swami :grin:)

This is one way to look at it, and partly I subscribe to that, as posted before. That's the COGNITIVE side of things: science.
You on the other hand are convinced Satan has described in detail why you're basically fucked. (sorry) That's the SPIRITUAL side of things.

Swami's on referential Wordspeak, you're on referential Feelspeak.
Both equally valid, but referential as the universe we percieve.

All good and well, but it's been your Trip and you have to come to terms with it. I suggest you adopt a little Swami & open up to the possibility that perhaps you've banged the DVD-player a little too hard with what might have been over 50 milligrams of Psilocybin (Sandoz recommended 4-20mg and they put it out after all)

This might not be so, but anything that weens you away from the thought you've just encountered the Ultimate Reality and that it's Fucked Up I deem valuable for your longterm happiness. I think it holds significance because your mind put it out and I believe the mind can only work with symbolics. (symbolism, reference.. Fathom?) I don't believe in Chaos, but in Absolute Order. (that's another topic)

Humans tend to have two eyes. Humans tend to speak words. Humans tend to get UFO-abduction experiences and humans tend to see The White Light when they die, good or bad. In other words: there's structure in brains.
There's structures you yourself put in ("I prefer fucking on XTC over fucking on my girlfriend")
There's structures your nurture put in ("Say after daddy: n#ggers are baaaad..")
and there are structures stamped into your Human Blueprint ("Me = Me")

Is it possible your friends had an extremely similar trip? Sure!!! People tend to get extremely similar UFO-abduction experiences and even more common: Death experiences with the Tunnel are very, very common.
Does that mean a God/Devil is involved? That your Trip had anything to do with the Ultimate Reality? To beat Swami to it: Fuck no! (sorry :smirk:)

What has happened might have had spiritual significance or it might have been to hard a whack to the DVD-player or perhaps it lies somewhere in between.
You theorised it yourself:
"wel, the big picture is quite tainted...what you see is not what's there"

PLEASE apply this to your Trip and your concept of the Ultimate Truth, as it might be highly important for you to do so. You've taken 5 grams of Transformation and you can make it go either way. It can be your best trip to date or your worst, but it likely will be a turning point. You've had a watershed Trip and the next days should be seen in the light of that.

F#ck your boss! F#ck your teacher! F#ck your friends! In the following days it's all about YOU, OK? If it feels wrong to tighten lids on the conveyor belt you simply do not go, with or without an "I'm ill.." phonecall. The next few days are YOURS so F#ck all outside world responsibilities.
For the Love of Yourself, do not make this a lifestyle, but days will not become much more important as these.

Seek out beautiful things, especially natural things like the forest or your GF if she's among those.

Seek out easygoing activities, chatting with friends, visiting the National Museum of Hardcore Pornography.

Seek out your healthfood store and get tabs of Vitamin B3, in the form of NiacinAMIDE aka. Nicotinic acid AMIDE (not the Niacin/Acid form as this is highly unpleasant to most,  :blush: in the face & stinging sensations) and take 2-4 doses thereof throughout the day, using no more than 100mg per 10kg/22lbs of bodyweight A DAY tops. Aside from vitaminizing you this'll likely mellow you out, aid your brain into returning to your brand of normal and it will induce a tiny degree of relaxed euphoria which will chill you out which you need after a trip like this.

For the time being: no drugs at all, especially no harddrugs like Coca?ne, Ritalin and Amphetamines and preferably no Entheogens like LSD or Marijuana.
Sounds like drillsergeant Dick, I'm sure, but I relly think the pond should return to rippling before inducing more tidal waves.


But best of all: relax and try to stay/regain a positive state of mind. Get grounded and let time pass. Try to have fun, but don't force things.

PM = Personal Message.

 


--------------------
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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 14,279
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #1597956 - 06/01/03 11:57 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I have some advice. Stop overdosing yourself on mushrooms, since you obviously do not use the energy to take you to a useful state of Consciousness, but merely give yourself up to recently perceived images. Stop overdosing yourself on 'The Matrix,' which is pretty clearly the perceptual/conceptual 'matrix' that your unconscious is using to produce all these cyborgian images and 'shadow projections' (friends turning into "creatures.") Since you refer to being 'fucked up' so frequently, which does not refer to a positive, or healthy, or enlightened state of being - maybe you should stop and ask why you're using something potentially helpful (shrooms) to harm yourself - to get 'bad trips' to talk about. Sounds like another case of 'teenage wasteland' to me.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1597958 - 06/01/03 12:00 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Good to have you back Markos. Where ya been - vacation?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Anonymous

Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1597981 - 06/01/03 12:18 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Good advice!


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
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Registered: 12/10/99
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: Swami]
    #1598094 - 06/01/03 01:53 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks. My vacation begins on Friday the 13th! The last Friday the 13th was memorable because on that otherwise typical, sunny south Florida morning, hundreds of nightcrawlers came out of my backyard and dropped into my pool. I hosed them back twice but back they came. When I returned from work, there were hundreds of dead worms in the pool. Let me tell you, I should have dumped them a lot further from my property because nothing, and I mean nothing, stinks worse than a huge pile of rotting earthworms. I wonder if anything else from the Bizarro home-world will visit me this Friday the 13th. I'm not even superstitious about this number, but I sure hope this time will be uneventful, lest I have to re-consider this superstition.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineSombie
Moonrock eater

Registered: 12/07/02
Posts: 2,643
Loc: Stafford, Virginia
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #1598389 - 06/01/03 04:29 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

damn dude, that reminds me of the matrix.

And no matter if it is real or fake, I wonder what would have happened if you told him you wanted to stay...

I guess you would have come down eventully anyway... but what would have happened before then?


--------------------
"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable." - Hunter S Thompson

Check out Agio

Follow my NFL Blog


Edited by Sombie (06/01/03 04:38 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1598397 - 06/01/03 04:32 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

The worms were whispering to you, "Let's go fishing. Let's go fishing." But you did not hear.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlinesymantic
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Registered: 05/30/03
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8244517 - 04/05/08 11:40 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

it has been 5 years since my original post and to be honest, it has not gotten any better.. I have been through the state medical system been prescribed many antipsychotics been through hell and not been back yet... living in a world where I am confused between understanding the difference between reality and what I perceive to be real (there is a vast difference). I don't think anymore that the experience was an awaking from the matrix but more of an awakening from what I was attached to or what me who I am , for example my preconceived notions or ideas about reality hence the catholic guilt prevalent throughout my trip... to be totally honest I'm still as lost as I was when I documented the trip on here the first time and right now I'm thinking about diving in again even deeper, would love some advice from anyone on the forums you all have a lot more experience than I and I know the smartest man knows he knows nothing at all... some advice would be great... peace and love to everyone reading these words..

John O'Rourke


--------------------
reality is the part of the imaginatio we all agree on


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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8244651 - 04/06/08 12:12 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

What meds did they have you on??


--------------------


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Invisibledaytripper23
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Registered: 06/22/05
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8244800 - 04/06/08 12:52 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Hey man, sorry that your having trouble. I dont know how much help I can be, as you already seem to have delved a bit further into the many of the same probelms that I am currently having trouble facing.

Have you ever pondered the significance of your obsession with the time, which you describe at the beginning of the trip? Why did you get such satisfaction from "knowing" the time, and then meaninglessly write it down? Its not really hours, minutes, seconds, after all, because these concepts imply a finality that we can never really be aware of. Maybe writing it down was an unconscious expression of the actual absurdity in relying upon a conceptual (static) understanding of time. While its hard to objectify your experience, this portion of your trip is not as steeped in hallucinations as the rest of your trip. I think this is the portion of your trip that others might best provide insight to. To me it seems like a good place to create a new understanding of the world.

Given my vague idea of your experience, as well as my own, I would highly recommend a book titled "Each Moment is the Universe: Zen and the Way of Being Time". This book has been great for me in overcoming my own dogmas. Its a whole philosophy rooted in time.

Heres a description from amazon. No philosophy here, just trying to give you an idea of its reputation:

The late Japanese Zen master Katagiri Roshi offers a Zen interpretation of being and time. As text editor Andrea Martin explains in her introduction, the core Buddhist teachings of impermanence and emptiness lend themselves to considerations of time and being. Zen may be anticoncept and nonabstract, but it is certainly pro-insight. So Katagiri explains his understanding of time, based squarely on his interpretation of the work of influential 13th-century Zen master Dogen, whose work has inspired a number of contemporary Zen teachers. But Katagiri is no academic, and the language he uses to express complex ideas is extremely simple (this is called going into mud and water) and often enthusiastic (Touch it and bounce!). The editor has successfully transmitted the oral style that helps make the content accessible. Katagiri conveys a zest for Zen understanding that differs from the calm inscrutability of other Zen Buddhists; he also brings up terms like hope and beauty. Katagiri's statement I think the purpose of spiritual life is to just go toward the future with great hope may sound metaphysical, but it comes from a teacher who has spent time on the meditation cushion and applied insight to the day-to-day life that Zen embraces.


--------------------
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!


Edited by daytripper23 (04/06/08 03:00 AM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8245589 - 04/06/08 08:44 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

at a glance
you are intellectually gifted
your mushrooms were extremely strong and "lucid" such that
they enabled deleriant (like datura) waking experiences.
you and your friends who experienced the same thing were culturally unprepared for a deleriant.
since the event you have sought meaning from the contents of the experience which has been maddenning, and
since the event you have been challenged by the depth of entanglement you have with the contents of the experience.
you have done everything you can to negotiate your life with the residue of the experience and are looking for some refuge from that turmoil.
The language I am using is very simple here, I am wondering if I "get" you - because if I do, I may have a few words that could help, but I don't want to soap box myself.


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Invisiblepsyka
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Registered: 06/09/03
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8245677 - 04/06/08 09:36 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

symantic said:
it has been 5 years since my original post and to be honest, it has not gotten any better.. I have been through the state medical system been prescribed many antipsychotics been through hell and not been back yet... living in a world where I am confused between understanding the difference between reality and what I perceive to be real (there is a vast difference). I don't think anymore that the experience was an awaking from the matrix but more of an awakening from what I was attached to or what me who I am , for example my preconceived notions or ideas about reality hence the catholic guilt prevalent throughout my trip... to be totally honest I'm still as lost as I was when I documented the trip on here the first time and right now I'm thinking about diving in again even deeper, would love some advice from anyone on the forums you all have a lot more experience than I and I know the smartest man knows he knows nothing at all... some advice would be great... peace and love to everyone reading these words..

John O'Rourke




Your consciousness has become very restless, which is accompanied by very many thoughts. Thought does not arise in the consciousness if it does not attach itself to an object. Whether the object is mental (stray thoughts/concepts) or physical (an actual object) does not matter, they are both treated the same. A restless consciousness goes object-to-object all the time and can be very overwhelming to the senses.

What I would do, if I were you, is to take a half hour each day to stabilize mind. Use your breath as post to tie your mind to, as you would an untame dog. Be mindful of your breath. Any thoughts not about breath for these 30 minutes should be considered distractions. Every time you realize your mind gets distracted (its ok if it happens - even if its a lot), relax your entire body (head included) and go back to centering inside of your breath. Make it your goal to do this for 30 minutes, and do not judge yourself. If you keep at it, I think you will make progress.

Again, the point of this is to stabilize your mental processes. With that I believe you will begin discerning reality with unreality. I would also highly recommend not watching TV/movies. Don't eat any more shrooms.


Edited by psyka (04/06/08 10:11 AM)


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Offlinejonathanseagull
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Registered: 10/28/05
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: redgreenvines]
    #8245703 - 04/06/08 09:52 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I have done the bad trip and a year of psychosis followed by 2 years of recovery, bringing us to the present.

Some authors you might find relevant are Stanislov Grof, who has cataloged all of the aspects which you described, from reading/becoming your DNA, experiencing the history of man or the universe, etc. Joseph Campbell's work is slightly related, with how all myth is telling the same story: the Mono-myth, which is the Hero's Journey, which is the spiritual/psychological journey towards maturity and self-realization. I think you'd find elements of your own adventure there and find some sense to be made there. Also, John Weir Perry has a book that I'm currently reading called The Far Side of Madness. It's about these acute psychotic episodes (drug induced or not), and how they are not the psychosis, but the ego-state that the person was previously living in was psychotic. Having experienced it, I wholly agree. The acute psychotic trip is there to fundamentally reconstruct your mental foundation, which was what was wrong in the first place. I can't go too deep into it. But if you feel the need, read!

Here is my personal advice. Don't try to make sense of the trip in a literal and philosophical fashion. You won't be able to, just as philosophers since man's beginning haven't been able to. Don't wrestle with solipsism, the nature of time, good/evil, etc. I did, and gained a very high understanding of such issues compared to what I did understand, but in the end, I still don't know. You might find yourself wondering why crop circles are in alignment with crystal vibrations revealing the patterns of the solar system of the galactic brotherhood (lol) if you keep digging where there is no answer. The answer you MUST accept to initiate growth is that "the answer is, there is no answer". It's surrender, it's letting go of the need to control and know everything. It's the only logical choice, because you'll never know anyways.

The trip didn't reveal some transcendental or universal truth. It revealed you to you. It betrayed your fears to your conscious mind. I'd think of it all as projections. You saw yourself. If what you saw didn't please you, then there is work to do that will lead to much relief and understanding.

Don't consider how your experience relates to some external reality or truth. Turn your thoughts on yourself, and consider how you manifested the trip through your own fears. It seems at one point you "almost" understood that in the trip, but you confused your creation of reality as the creation of an external reality, and not your own internal reality.

Another deeper trip is probably the worst thing you could consider. You haven't integrated the one from years ago.

Good luck! I believe it would do good to think of this entire chapter of your life as a period of self-betterment, and start treating it that way, as opposed to research into philosophy and spirituality, etc (which will be intertwined, but should not be the emphasis. They should be a means for you to understand yourself, not an end in themselves).


--------------------
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.


Edited by jonathanseagull (04/06/08 09:55 AM)


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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: jonathanseagull]
    #8246703 - 04/06/08 03:41 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Rad post Seagull.  I share a lot of the same experience.  I wish I could help in some way.  Good advice.:thumbup:


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InvisibleRahz
Alive Again
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Posts: 8,073
Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: symantic]
    #8250504 - 04/07/08 02:42 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

symantic said:
it has been 5 years since my original post and to be honest, it has not gotten any better.. I have been through the state medical system been prescribed many antipsychotics been through hell and not been back yet... living in a world where I am confused between understanding the difference between reality and what I perceive to be real (there is a vast difference). I don't think anymore that the experience was an awaking from the matrix but more of an awakening from what I was attached to or what me who I am , for example my preconceived notions or ideas about reality hence the catholic guilt prevalent throughout my trip... to be totally honest I'm still as lost as I was when I documented the trip on here the first time and right now I'm thinking about diving in again even deeper, would love some advice from anyone on the forums you all have a lot more experience than I and I know the smartest man knows he knows nothing at all... some advice would be great... peace and love to everyone reading these words..

John O'Rourke




Could you go into detail on what you are experiencing? Reality -vs- unreality, I assume the imagery isn't as prevalent as it was directly after the trip. If you could describe what has changed, and what is still bothering you, you might get better responses.

I've read several accounts of meditation practitioners fucking themselves up, though the way and results may not be a parallel to your experience. Basically, it's possible for a meditator to unlock kundalini (emotional energy) they can't control, and it shoots up into the head, causing chaos. Useful information, like how to cook, write, etc. can be wiped out. Although I can't find the account, I remember one guy who had a similar episode and it left him unable to cope with everyday life for 10 years. His wife was faithful, stood by his side and helped him along, and he was able to recover and lead a normal life.

I've had a shroom/meditation induced episode, involving too much kindling. I was sure I had gone insane, and even after that feeling died down I was weak, and dizzy for several weeks. But, I'm not sure this is in your ballpark of experience. There was no subjective imagery to go along with the incident. So, tell us more.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


“I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car."


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Offlinesymantic
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Registered: 05/30/03
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Re: help me figure out my trip ... PLEASE [Re: Rahz]
    #8537966 - 06/18/08 07:35 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

hey been a while since I posted, things seemed to quieten down for a while, started college got almost straight A's for the first year and when things are going well I try not to delve into the past that still haunts me. Let sleeping does lie if you will.

It's still there though at the back of my mind, refusing to let me enjoy the frivolities of everyday life. I'm sick talking to my friends about this because all they do is call me crazy and start quoting the matrix to me. To me it's so much more than that. I whole heartedly appreciate everyones concern and comments and I'm sorry if I haven't shown the appreciation or followed your guidelines.

Of late I have returned to pondering my trip and my realizations. I've started hallucinating, even to call it that to me seems absurd, it's no more an hallucination but a realization. The ego stripped view of the world the mushrooms gave to me, I found I am now able to view at will (I understand many of you will now think I am giving my self, self confirming delusions, I doubt it personally as self confirming delusions usually lead to a state that makes the delusional person happy) and not only are they helping me make better decisions about how I live my life but also with who associate myself with.

I'll break it down in a nut shell without trying to sound like a nut. I think what I saw was not reality but a version of reality as there is no absolute version of reality. This version of reality was paramount to my evolutionary development. I felt like the product of many ideas that have run a mock and do not care about the spiritual evolution of humanity and the only way I could realize this was to be shown what I was shown. It's like your mind telling you that I have given you the spoonful of sugar with the medicine all your life but right now you've chosen to take it without, if you've had it with sugar all the time you can't possible believe the medicine tastes this bad and you deny the fact that this is even the same medicine you've always been taking but it is.

I'm sorry, the fact that I'm trying to explain the most amazingly beautiful and frightening things that have ever happened to me by using language seems fruitless at this point in time to me.

Ultimately I don't know.
I don't know.

But right now I've gained enough courage to venture into the unknown again. I'm currently looking online to book an ayahuasca retreat so if any of you know of a good place please let me know, or if you have any more advice, thanks for being understanding, emphatic, loving and kind.

Peace and hopefully understanding to everyone.


--------------------
reality is the part of the imaginatio we all agree on


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