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trepanib
Pimp


Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 648
Loc: Boston, MA/ Syracuse, NY
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Breakup help.
#8512867 - 06/11/08 08:35 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Alright, so my ex gf broke up with me about a month and a half ago after 2 years and I'm pretty sure she's with another guy already. I can't get my mind off her and I'm only 20 so I can't really hit up the bar scene and my friends from college are home and my friends from high school aren't really around or are busy.
What's your guys advice for getting over this shit? I tried to talk to her to get some real closure but she just hung up like the bitch she is. Even though I know I should be able to move on I can't, it's fucking stupid of me. Help.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: trepanib]
#8512924 - 06/11/08 08:47 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Dude, I've been through the situation many times.
Here's my advice:
First step: delete her phone number and all text messages from her on your phone. This will hopefully prevent you from contacting her during a time of weakness.
Second: Preoccupy yourself. This is the MOST IMPORTANT part. If you don't have a job, find one. Find an active job where you stay busy. If you're taking summer classes, good. Stick with it. The key is to keep busy to keep your mind off things. The longer you keep your mind off of it, the less she will matter when your mind comes back to it.
Third: Friends. Hang out with friends during your down time(outside of work and school). Try to avoid talking about her when you're with them unless they ask. Then vent. Or perhaps ask them if its cool that you vent about the break up and what a hooker she is. Friends are just as key as the job. Stay busy with friends or a job. Keep your mind off her for a few weeks and she'll mean next to nothing to you. A good friend can mean the world in this situation.
Fourth: As hard as it might be, avoid alcohol. For me, alcohol tends to make my mind regress and idealize how things "used to be." That just makes me want to contact her/be with her. Don't do that. If you drink, only do it with friends in a public/party environment.
Stay busy mofo, and good luck!
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TrippinTeddy
Lost Voyager



Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 18,461
Loc: Returning Video Tapes
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: trepanib]
#8512928 - 06/11/08 08:47 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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DSHSB
-------------------- ToiletDuk said: For the record, I would show you my butthole but you would fall down and worship it as a God and you would give up everything to roam the land converting the heathens by fire and sword. Millions would die. No, no the cost is too great. I cannot.
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jenns_hot
Hungry



Registered: 12/30/06
Posts: 3,459
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: trepanib]
#8512942 - 06/11/08 08:51 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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write her a letter, and realize it will probably be the last time you guys talk, or at least the last meaningful thing you say. after that, know that you said all you had to and that it was her loss if she doesnt want to be with you.
other than that, i dont really know what to say... im pretty much in the same boat you are. 20 years old, two young to hit up the bar seen, and no potential girlfriends... just waiting it out until the school year starts up again and hopefully i'll meet someone interesting. anyways, as far as bars go, it's best not to meet women there unless you want a girl who drinks too much
-------------------- "Fear makes the wolf look bigger"
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KetamineKatalyst
Skyhighatrist


Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 1,647
Loc: Koma Kluster
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: jenns_hot]
#8513001 - 06/11/08 09:04 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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You'll get over her bro, it takes time. For me, I basically woke up one day and realized my independance for the first time in many months. I started flirting again, being more social and everything just felt golden for a while. It's a great feeling when it does happen. As Gumby said, stay active!
There are SOOOOO many beautiful women out there that would love you, and blow your ex-girlfriend out of the water! The breakups were mostly good for me in the end and allowed me to do new things and meet new people, taking my life in a whole new direction!
You be aight
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lilly
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trepanib
Pimp


Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 648
Loc: Boston, MA/ Syracuse, NY
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: Gumby]
#8513009 - 06/11/08 09:07 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah, I need to get on that job search. I deleted her numbers, her AIM screen name (for some reason I keep checking her profile though and thats how I know she's with another guy-dumb on me), I deactivated my facebook so I don't try to check hers. I have photos of her I don't want to get rid of and regret so since I'm living at home i might tell my parents to put them somewhere I won't see them.
There's this girl I find cute who works at a restaurant I frequent and I was thinking about asking her out on a date or just to chill. I just don't want to get too attached to anyone before I leave for school again though.
I started lifting and toning my body because once I'm in shape I will be both smart and fit.
I'm trying, it just blows because it was right before our 2 year anniversary.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: trepanib]
#8513049 - 06/11/08 09:19 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel ya man. I had one break up with a girl that I was with for 3 years about 2 months before our official 3 year anniversary. Another one that I was with unofficaly for 8 months broke up with me a DAY before the official 6 month. It's a bitch, but you'll move on. The best thing to do, even if you want to stay friends (I wouldn't with a bitch who left me for someone else, BTW), is forget they exist... At least until the hurt goes away.
The way it works for me is about after 2 weeks or so of not talking, resisting urges to see what they doing, etc. then it starts to become apparent that you are your own person and you can do your own thing. Someone else will come along that is much, much more suited for your needs and likes. Until then, be you. You don't need a girl to complete anything. Be your own awesome self.
I had a shittastic break up about 2 months ago. My only issues with it now are that the girl wants to get back together. Not happening because we are fundamentally incompatible (nothing in common). Every time she comes back I just do the same thing, brush her off, stay busy, and focus on me and bettering my life. Oh, and there's always the additional pleasure of checking out/talking to new girls who have potential 
Stay positive, stay busy, and realize that you don't need her to complete you. Be your own person and don't dwell on what can't be fixed and what's in the past. Carpe diem, my friend!
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Vanguard


Registered: 09/30/05
Posts: 1,347
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: Gumby]
#8513074 - 06/11/08 09:24 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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awsome advice Gumby!
-------------------- -=Check my Gallery=-
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trepanib
Pimp


Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 648
Loc: Boston, MA/ Syracuse, NY
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: Gumby]
#8513085 - 06/11/08 09:27 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Thanks. This is great advice. Even if it's stuff you know, sometimes it's hard to do because you feel isolated. Once you realize others are in your same boat it's easier. Time to go be a fucking man!
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: Breakup help. [Re: trepanib]
#8514431 - 06/12/08 08:26 AM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah Gumby said it all.
We've all been there. The one thing that has consistently helped me is to focus on improving myself. I recently got ditched too, and since then I've been occupying myself with physical exercise and learning a language. My self-esteem is repairing itself nicely. Do constructive things, don't kill time. And god, don't MOPE! Don't reminisce, don't wish. Keep your body moving.
It feels good just to do those things, and it also reminds you that YOU are the most important person in your life, other people just come and go. Let them go when they go, and welcome the new ones when they arrive.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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