|
backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
|
|
Can I get an order of tough love with a warm glass of shut-the-fuck-up??
Sorry. That was uncalled for...
--------------------
|
Mr. Mushrooms
Spore Print Collector
Registered: 05/25/08
Posts: 13,018
Loc: Registered: 6/04/02
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Veritas]
#8456332 - 05/28/08 05:43 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Veritas said: While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, you have not provided any real support for your claims. If you do not wish to discuss or debate, why bother to post in this forum?
That is one question I'd be happy to answer if only to get it out of the way. Someone asked for help, so I "helped" by offering my advice.
Useless wrangling about topics that seemingly have no answer or end is not something I especially like. There are times, and they are rare, when a particular topic and its discussion interests and intrigues me.
This seemed to be more about someone asking for help than a discussion of the merits of individual therapy or the latest greatest self-help book.
So don't be confused or disheartened because I'm not drawn into a deep discussion that has no end. That may come or it may not.
You're to be commended for the work you have done on yourself and, most of all, your willingness to do it. Evidently, rageoholism, if that was what you had, was painful enough to make you want to extricate yourself from its grip. Sadly, not everyone wants to be extricated.
You're a good member and I look forward to discussing something in depth with you sometime.
Take care...
--------------------
|
Mr. Mushrooms
Spore Print Collector
Registered: 05/25/08
Posts: 13,018
Loc: Registered: 6/04/02
|
|
Quote:
backfromthedead said: Can I get an order of tough love with a warm glass of shut-the-fuck-up??
Sorry. That was uncalled for...
--------------------
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
#8457335 - 05/28/08 09:17 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Put plainly, I would like to know how I may gently encourage my partner to let go of a defensive and hostile disposition toward commentary that does not agree with her own views of the world about her. I am looking to breed tolerance and understanding. Is this too lofty a goal? Am I myself being intolerant for wanting to change her natural responses in this way?
Be a continuous example and say little or nothing. Otherwise your goals will most likely backfire.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
I have no need to defend my ideas here or elsewhere for that matter.
Then I suggest posting elsewhere. We like to debate our ideas here and I have no fear of it. What's your problem? And it's not about need it's about want. That's why we're here.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Rahz
Alive Again
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,285
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
#8457489 - 05/28/08 09:55 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
>>>>Put plainly, I would like to know how I may gently encourage my partner to let go of a defensive and hostile disposition toward commentary that does not agree with her own views of the world about her. I am looking to breed tolerance and understanding. Is this too lofty a goal? Am I myself being intolerant for wanting to change her natural responses in this way?
You can try gently bringing it up, but when you're talking about content, there's gonna be resistance. Better to create a space for the development of context.
If the problem is holding back the relationship, or is something you're unwilling to accept, I would insist she meditate on her heart on a regular basis, and stick with her on it. When a person begins to become open hearted, they begin to see their unfair views, even as they are experiencing them, and that would allow her to make the initiatives to change her behaviour.
If she doesn't want to meditate... kick her out.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,007
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
#8458334 - 05/29/08 01:28 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
you have to lover her as she is everything else is too much work
-------------------- _ 🧠_
|
TheHappieHippies
Uber-Goober
Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 814
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
|
|
<-----addicted to depression and anxiety. Oh and sex, but that isn't an emotion, though the addiction is a result of emotions associated with sex....
--------------------
|
BlueCoyote
Beyond
Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
|
|
If there's nothing wrong rationally or logically, one has to be content about the emotions, but an 'addiction' that's what we are talking about, is something 'unhealthy', so rationally explainable, falsifiable, debunk-able and condemnable.
If one loves another who is addicted to emotions, let's say which hurt somebody, I think it's better to help this person out.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
Quote:
redgreenvines said: you have to lover her as she is everything else is too much work
You mean this kind of lovering?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
aDoS
freedom lover
Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 7,590
Loc: land of the free
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
#8461843 - 05/29/08 10:08 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I am emotionally addicted to my computer/internet. Whenever my internet goes down or I have to reformat my harddrive, I get so fucking depressed feeling.
But I am ok with this emotional addiction because I like computers and the internets.
-------------------- "If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
|
Rahz
Alive Again
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,285
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
#8462158 - 05/29/08 11:35 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said: you have to lover her as she is everything else is too much work
You mean this kind of lovering?
Cock Therapy
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Rahz]
#8464258 - 05/30/08 04:05 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,544
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 2 hours, 21 minutes
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Rahz]
#8465221 - 05/30/08 08:03 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
No doubt, a li'l bone is a fantastic stress reliever.
Maybe that's my problem...
Hrmm, time to trim those pubes and commence with some irresistibly sensuous and seductive sexual healing!
-------------------- -------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
#8465228 - 05/30/08 08:06 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
go Marvin
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Boots
Disenchanted
Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 1,137
Loc: Northwood, Ohio, U.S.A.
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
#8465627 - 05/30/08 09:40 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I don't believe in emotional addiction. Rather, I think people stick with emotions that benefit them the most. People that like to 'play the victim' are a prime example of people with a conscious choice of emotion.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,007
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Boots]
#8465886 - 05/30/08 10:57 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I think if you are hung up on another person's problems it's time to find another other person.
-------------------- _ 🧠_
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'
Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Boots]
#8466220 - 05/31/08 12:48 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I think it's often more a matter of habit and familiarity than addiction.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8467369 - 05/31/08 01:15 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
To me, habit is a form of addiction. Breaking a habit is like breaking an addiction in some ways.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Boots]
#8467373 - 05/31/08 01:18 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Boots said: I don't believe in emotional addiction. Rather, I think people stick with emotions that benefit them the most. People that like to 'play the victim' are a prime example of people with a conscious choice of emotion.
I believe addiction is a conscious choice. An alcoholic can choose not to drink because his mother is coming over tonight and he wants to fake it. This is a choice. He can also make the choice to quit completely and some do.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
|