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Anonymous #1

Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post)
    #8403127 - 05/14/08 10:39 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Ok. I'm preggo for the 10th time. I have had multiple bad experiences in the hospital, and with OB-GYN's period.

When I was in (3-week early unnecessarily induced) labor with my oldest, and started crowning, they called the doc who told them to have me "close my legs" til he got there. It took him half an hour to show up, causing my child's lungs to a need to be suctioned upon his arrival, he cut my fucking taint open AFTER my kid's head and shoulders were already out (I found out later that my insurance paid SURGERY prices for an episiotomy since they cut you open and sew you back up).

During my pregnancy with my second living child, I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks, and the idiotic doctor tried to keep me in her hospital rather then transfer me to a hospital that had a NICU. My dad had to threaten the doctor with lawsuits in order to get her to put me on an ambulance to the hospital where he was born hours later. If he had been born at the first hospital, he would have likely died, as they didn't have the proper equipment to treat a preemie. And the only reason I can figure she didn't want to send me was in order to get paid more for treating me.

My next pregnancy was tragic. My water broke early, possibly due to my cervix being checked too frequently while I was having false labor at 21 weeks. After my water broke, the doctor should have sent me to another hospital immediately (same hospital that hasn't got a NICU) but instead, checked my cervix multiple times after my water broke, thus introducing the germs to my uterus which caused the infection that killed my daughter shortly after her birth.

After that I had my 3rd living child. My water broke early, so I was admitted to the hospital in order to try and prolong the pregnancy, giving our daughter as long as we could to develop before being born. I was treated poorly from the beginning. But, I expected to be taken seriously when I went into labor. Something was wrong with their monitors, and it wasn't picking up my contractions. The nurses implied that I was just being a drama queen and sent my father, his wife and my husband away, telling them that I was "being dramatic for their benefit", and if they wanted me to calm down, they should leave. I begged for an epidural, and I was of course denied, "Epidurals are only for people who are IN labor" I did get some morphine, and that's when it occurred to me that I was on my own. About a half an hour later, I had my daughter, alone in my room, picked her up and called for help. All of this almost exactly a year to the day after catching my 1lb. 1oz. dying daughter. I had a pretty good sized meltdown, and then was justifiably bitchy with the entire hospital staff.

So needless to say, I HATE fucking doctors and fucking hospitals.

I'm pregnant again. I suddenly realize what a blessing it was to have my last daughter all alone. It was scary, and all. And I was REALLY pissed about it at first. But it was AMAZING. I was all alone, and a contraction would hit me like a wave. I think I left my body. It was extremely painful, but I dunno, it was amazing pain. When I caught her, and held her to me, it was fucking crazy. I knew she was at least healthy enough to scream, and she calmed as soon I as I held her to me. I wanted to hurry up and breastfeed her, but she was a preemie, so I called for help. They whisked her away to the NICU, and stammered some lame ass apologies for telling me to "keep it down, even if you were in labor you wouldn't make that much noise, the women who are in active labor need to rest"

Anyhow, I'm getting off track. I am going to try and go to full term with this baby, and have it at home. With only my family. I would hire a mid-wife, but it is illegal in my state for a mid-wife to tend a homebirth with a "high-risk" pregnancy. (Nevermind that I would no longer be high-risk if I made it to full term)

I've been checking out unassisted homebirths online, and I have found a lot of helpful resources, like homebirth kits, and advice and stories. I am going to go to an OB doc, and tell them: If I go to 37 weeks this kid is being born at home. Tell me what I need to know, and what I need to have, otherwise, I'll just use what I find online, and have my child at home anyhow.

If I have complications then I of course will get proper medical assistance. But otherwise I am hoping for a beautiful full term home waterbirth.

Wish me luck!!

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OfflineTheHappieHippies
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8403296 - 05/14/08 11:10 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

That sounds nice!! I'd love to have a homebirth.
Good Luck!


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8403411 - 05/14/08 11:34 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I wish you the best of luck!

BUT!

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm preggo for the 10th time.




Quote:

3-week early unnecessarily induced




Quote:

I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks




Quote:

he would have likely died, as they didn't have the proper equipment to treat a preemie.




Quote:

My next pregnancy was tragic. My water broke early, possibly due to my cervix being checked too frequently while I was having false labor at 21 weeks




Quote:

After that I had my 3rd living child. My water broke early, so I was admitted to the hospital in order to try and prolong the pregnancy, giving our daughter as long as we could to develop before being born.




Seems to me like your bad experiences have been a mix of a shitty health care system and perhaps some irresponsibility on your part.

I know I really have no right to say this, and I not trying to be rude by any means. But as a fellow human being in this mixed up world filled with looming crises left, right, and center, from food shortages to over-consumption, overpopulation and general ignorance, might I suggest that you think about making this 10th pregnancy your last? For the benefit of your future and your children, aswell as the earthly ecology!

I mean, isn't having two children one of the most beautiful things you could ask for, considering your track record in the hospital? What more could you ask for?

Goodluck!


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...

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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8403642 - 05/15/08 12:31 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I say trust your instincts. A homebirth sounds like a great plan. Are you nearby a hospital just in case? Maybe look into doulas if it's illegal for a midwife to attend "high risk" births. Doulas aren't certified (so they probably don't have the same legal restrictions) but they have much of the same knowledge and skill as midwives.

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Anonymous #1

Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #8403673 - 05/15/08 12:39 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

NiamhNyx said: Maybe look into doulas if it's illegal for a midwife to attend "high risk" births. Doulas aren't certified (so they probably don't have the same legal restrictions) but they have much of the same knowledge and skill as midwives.




That's a great suggestion, thanks. I'll have to see if there are any in my area. Do you know how much a doula charges? They are not covered by my insurance...

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Anonymous #1

Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Ginseng1]
    #8403690 - 05/15/08 12:42 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Ginseng1 said:
Seems to me like your bad experiences have been a mix of a shitty health care system and perhaps some irresponsibility on your part.

I know I really have no right to say this, and I not trying to be rude by any means. But as a fellow human being in this mixed up world filled with looming crises left, right, and center, from food shortages to over-consumption, overpopulation and general ignorance, might I suggest that you think about making this 10th pregnancy your last? For the benefit of your future and your children, aswell as the earthly ecology!

I mean, isn't having two children one of the most beautiful things you could ask for, considering your track record in the hospital? What more could you ask for?

Goodluck!




Wow, thanks for your opinion, but I think I'll leave my family planning decisions in the hands of my family.

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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8403700 - 05/15/08 12:45 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I'm not sure... I've never even been pregnant let alone given birth. A friend of mine did some doula training though, and then got pregnant shortly thereafter (completely unintentionally!) She gave birth at home with the help of a few friends and it went smoothly as far I've heard.

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OfflineOwMyHead
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8403862 - 05/15/08 01:39 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Actually, multiple pregnancies are hard on a woman, particularly if they are close together.

I don't care if you have twenty kids that you can take care of and they all grow up to be the best adjusted, most contributing members of society; it's not about judging your ability to plan your family, take care of them or anything else (because for all I know you'd win the international survivor edition mom of the year competition :wink:), it's about stating a medical fact.  Give your body a break and give it a chance to recover.  I know a woman who had 7 pregnancies in 7 years, and the last one (she got her tubes tied) she had retained tissue and damned near bled to death.  I was in the delivery room for the last two, and I *NEVER* saw as much blood as I did ten days after the last one was born.  It was everywhere (and she passed a clot the size of a fucking soccer ball.)  I'm not saying you have to stop having children at all, but a pregnancy a year is bad for your entire body, but especially your uterus.  It's not all that great on the children, either.

Having said all that, I have a friend who had her FIRST child at home and it was just fine for her.  As you well know, there are many complications that can crop up during pregnancy, labour and childbirth, but assuming you don't have one of those myriad complications, home delivery is certainly not the worst thing you could do.

I don't know where you live and it doesn't really matter.  What I would do is call around to midwives, and ask if they would be willing to attend a *birthing center* or even hospital birth. Some midwives in some states have hospital privileges.

I know this because every woman in my family has HORROR STORIES of childbirth and I grew up stark raving fucking terrified of human reproduction.  I'm not talking about religious zealotry "horror stories", either; I'm talking about 400 stitches and kids with both collarbones broken "horror stories". 

Now that medical science is a little more advanced, I went to a midwife and explained my situation to her and was told that I could choose to have a child in a hospital or birthing center should the emergency Caesarean that most women in my family (both sides, save the 400 stitiches/broken collarbone one) have had to have becomes an immediate requirement, but that otherwise the midwife could attend.

Let's assume you find one that can and is willing to do that (with your history). 

As you get further along in your pregnancy, and as you get closer to the 37 week mark, you may be able to approach the homebirth idea and come across rationally and reasonable especially since you've already had what amounted to an unassisted birth.

I do not think unassisted birth is the devil.  I think that your history recommends some caution, but I don't think it precludes the homebirth idea in the least.

Quite frankly, the women I know who have gone through UNFUCKEDWITH childbirth (i.e. - no petocin, no epidural, no episiotomy, no pelvic every fifteen seconds) have had very calm, almost even relaxing, rewarding stories.  Yes, you're in pain.  Yes, it's very severe pain.  But by allowing their bodies to do *naturally* what their bodies were designed to do, it wasn't the sickening horror story that I'd grown to hate and fear.

Granted, these are women who didn't have a familial preclusion of vaginal delivery, as I do.  You do not seem to have a preclusion to such either by genetics or personal experience, so I think a home birth sounds perfectly reasonable (but do have a back-up plan, because that is just smart.  Just as any woman planning to have a child in a hospital should have a back up emergency plan in case she goes into labour at home and delivers too quickly to get to the hospital. I know a woman who, from her first contraction to severing of umbilical cord, was less than 1 1/2 hours with no drugs, and that was her FIRST child.  The baby damned near fell out of her!)

I, however, will be having my *first* child in a hospital, until I KNOW I can actually tolerate a vaginal delivery; if that goes well, I very well may decide to have an theoretical subsequent children at home.

My mother was the first person in the family born in a hospital.  My grandfather's father wasn't even born in a HOUSE, much less his ancestors.  It's been done before, and not everybody not born in a hospital died. :wink:

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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: OwMyHead]
    #8404246 - 05/15/08 06:58 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Adopt. The world is already overpopulated. If we don't cut this population growth we will run out of resources. Don;t be selfish and have kids. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but it's the truth. There are just too many people in the world today.

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #8404540 - 05/15/08 09:09 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

ChiefGreenLeaf said:
Adopt. The world is already overpopulated. If we don't cut this population growth we will run out of resources. Don;t be selfish and have kids. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but it's the truth. There are just too many people in the world today.




--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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InvisibleBrainiac
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8404620 - 05/15/08 09:38 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Damn nine kids, the tenth one should be able to walk out on its own...

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Anonymous #1

Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Brainiac]
    #8404688 - 05/15/08 09:59 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

For all of you idiots who only read part of my post and decided to open your mouths anyhow, I only have 3 living children. The other pregnancies ended in the death of my child.

For all you idiots who want to tell me to stop having kids, This pregnancy was unplanned, and I was on birth-control when I conceived, and furthermore had just decided to have a historectomy due to a painful existence brought on by endometriosis, l;iterally days before finding out I was pregnant. Even if I had planned this child, what on earth would you telling me what a bad idea it was accomplish other then to make a pregnant woman feel like shit??

For everyone else who just had advice, and kind words, Thanks. Really I was just hoping to see someone who has had a homebirth or an unassisted birth, and what they're opinions or advice might be.

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InvisibleBrainiac
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8404711 - 05/15/08 10:05 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I didn't say it was good or bad. I was just saying the tenth kid should be able to walk out on there own..

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8404733 - 05/15/08 10:14 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Anonymous,

I apologize. I had nothing helpful to say. I still agree with ChiefGreenLeaf's statement; the issue of everyone having children in our overpopulated world is one that I have strong feelings about. But it is not relevant here.

Sorry.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Invisiblejohnm214
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #8404763 - 05/15/08 10:20 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

My brother was blue when he came out. The cord was strangeling him. The doctor had to quickly notice the hue, pull him, hard- which really hurt my mother and pissed off my father, and cut the cord. If he hadn't, it is possible my brother would have been retarded by the time he advanced enough that it was obvious the cord was around his neck. My father said he had no idea what was going on and that the top of my brother's head looked fine to him. Only later did he realize how dangerous the situation was.

Just saying, I wonder if a midwife or the neighbor would have had the experience neccesary to detect the hue was a little off, and that a painful procedure, litteraly ripping my brother out of my mother, would need to be done to save his life or health.

I would consider this. If you have bleeding, tearing, or problems with the child, you may not have time to go to the hospital or wait for an ambulance.

Stay safe.

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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: johnm214]
    #8404799 - 05/15/08 10:32 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Widwives go through several years of training and have credentials to back it up, at least where I live. Yes, they know what they're doing. The only reason a hospital might be more helpful is if there were serious complications that required equipment unavailable at home.

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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: johnm214]
    #8404802 - 05/15/08 10:32 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

It sounds like you may have some serious medical issued when it comes to childbirth. Losing 7 of 10 pregnancies might be a sign of a problem.

If you want a homebirth then go for it and let nature run its course.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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OfflineTheHappieHippies
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #8404809 - 05/15/08 10:33 AM (15 years, 10 months ago)

OP, don't let it get ya down. I have thought a lot about the overpopulation problem as well, considering I am pregnant with my fourth child as well.

In my personal opinion, the Great Creator of the universe is the only one in charge of making life, that's right. We aren't in charge of whether or not a human is made, we only have our bodies and hopes to add to the equation. That is why some people try and try but never have kids, and that is why someone like you, on birth control (and even sometimes people who are sterilized) miraculously conceive and have children. Granted, we have some control over the issue, and can TRY to make our will happen, but really it isn't up to us in the end.

When people give me a hard time about having too many kids in this overpopulated world, I try to remember that the world is in need of the kind of people who will actually change things for the better in our future. And while all of the war-mongering hate-propagating assholes continue to reproduce, I intend to add my children to the future of this planet. I am bringing my children up to respect and nurture our world, and those within it, and I think this world would be worse off without them in it.

I too am having a homebirth with this child, and depending on whether or not midwifery is covered by my ridiculous insurance, I may be having an unassisted homebirth as well. My first were born in the hospital, and I had some really bad experiences too, which is why I've decided to stay in my peaceful loving home to have this one. Home, where I won't be pumped full of morphine, or left with a hole in my spinal cord for days, causing extreme pain. I figure, I will have some pot brownies to take off the edge (and anyone who has a problem with that needs to compare marijuana to the shit they give a laboring woman and her unborn child in the hospital). And my husband will catch the baby that we made in love, rather then some doc who sees dollar signs in the place where our love has taken root.

Congratulations. And good luck. pm me if you wanna talk about it some more!!


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OfflineOwMyHead
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Re: Unassisted Homebirth (long-ass post) [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #8406556 - 05/15/08 07:17 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

. . .

She's already pregnant, for crying out loud. How in God's name is "adopt" even approaching useful advice???

To the OP, you are not the first woman I've known who's gotten pregnant using birth control. I've known women who got pregnant from EVERY kind (except Norplant), including male sterilisation AND female sterilisation. So please don't take my statement of "give your body a break" as a condemnation, because it wasn't intended as such.

I still think that with your history, you should find a midwife (yes, they are trained to deal with birthing emergencies — geez, who do y'all think delivered babies before the advent of obstetrics???) who has privileges at a hospital. Assuming no other complications, you will hopefully be fine.

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