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Compass said:
dude, I'd probably be freaking out if I got an internship in DC

my advice is just simple stuff that you probably already do - breath deep and focus on the moment, clear your thoughts and say, "I'm happy to be alive now", drink some water

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Yeah - i certainly have reasons to be freaking out:

My internship starts a week from today (next monday).  Then on June 6th the program officially starts (I'm coming to DC to start work early, as per request of my internship site).  Once the program starts (The Fund for American Studies), I'll be moving onto the Georgetown campus, and starting 3 classes to compliment my Internship - as well as a slew of extra "Fund" activities and seminars, meetings and such.

Usually these types of things wouldn't cause me to freak out to this extent - i work very well under pressure and am quite confident i will excell in DC:  I've never not excelled (sounds conceited but is true). 

I'm definitely going to be trying those natural suggestions mentioned above [forgot who posted them, but thank you ].  Hopefully they'll do the trick.  I'm REALLY trying to avoid going on pills.  If anything I'll pursue a job in cali so i can get a MM card and go back to self-medicating with my lovely mary jane.  That's kind of a fantasy - I'm not sure if anxiety/panic attacks are grounds to secure a MM card in cali.  If they are - then I'd definitely pursue a career out on the west coast.  My resume is strong and I'm confident I could find a good employer out there.

Thanks again for the already-mentioned suggestions, and feel free to add more if anyone thinks of additional ones.  I'll be acquiring some roots'n'shit tomorrow :-D

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MushroomTrip said:
What do you mean by getting anxiety from your mom? It is not a virus, so it doesn't work that way.
Maybe you meant to say that, by living with her and being raised by her, you copied her behavior and her worries. This makes sense and in this case, the reason why you can't figure out what's causing you all this anxiety is because it was imprinted to you ever since you were a kid, and you just borrowed that way of being just like all the children borrow so much from their parents behavior.
I am afraid there is not a "easy" way out of this situation, such as taking pills or even smoking marijuana for medical purposes, and that the only real way of solving you situation, in my experience, is reasoning your way out. This requires lots of lucidity & introspection & patience. You need to analyze your mother's behavior as well, and how it affected your development, you need to start thinking how rational your fears are, how they manifest, and what you can do to produce a consistent and constructive change in the way you make your decisions and how you decide to feel about life.

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See Cameron's post. It's not something I just "picked up" by watching her. She was always at work anyways - a workaholic type (which no doubt contributed to her anxiety). My dad had his own company he operated out of the house - if there was any behavior to be mimiced, it would be his. He (contrary to my mom) is extremely laid back and anxiety-free.

What I have is genetic, "just like the color of your hair" (quoted from the family Dr I saw). So lucidity & introspect may work, but only to an extent.

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I've had this my whole life, meaning it's not purely circumstancial, and a medical doctor told me it's genetic. So (while I am open to ALL advice) you understand why I'm not going to abandon these things Ive been told simply because one friend on a mushroom board told me I can analyze my anxiety away.

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I am in no way trying to make you stop listening to any advice you want, but what I can do is to point out that there are many flaws in the ways psychiatrists view matters like these. Something to think about is the fact that in most of the cases, the cure they have to offer are some pills, which in no way help one to actually heal, but put them in a dazed state where they can forget about their problems, and that, in the moment they stop their medication their problem reoccurs, sometimes even worse than in was before. The fact that he is a "medical doctor" doesn't present any guarantee for the truthfulness and accuracy of their advice. In fact, any advice you ever receive, including mine, it is good to take with a grain of salt.
What makes you think that someone else can know better than you what's wrong with you? Doesn't it seem awkward to you to put more confidence in someone else's thoughts than your own?
Personally, I have serious questions regarding how medicating myself would help improve my mental state, since my emotions are directly and entirely influenced by the way I choose to feel about a certain situation. Of course, in some situations it is more difficult to shift my mood than in others, but this is simply because some situations require more practice than the others, for the reasons I have stated in my previous posts. When we are dealing with a learned behavior, especially one that's been developing since the first years of one's life, the programming is deeper and more complex than a behavior that's been detrimental to one from let's say just a year. If your mind has been programmed, it also means that it can be re-programmed, this time in a manner that serves your best interests and helps you enjoy life to it's fullest.
Just try it, I don't see what you have to lose.

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MushroomTrip said:
Just try it, I don't see what you have to lose.

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