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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Overcoming social anxiety [Re: Grav]
    #845808 - 08/27/02 03:30 AM (21 years, 5 months ago)

Swami gave the best advice here IMO. Confront as many fears as you can. Just walk through the fear and do/say what you want. Just don't fear the consequences of social interactions; it's never as bad as you think. Only once in a great while will you regret speaking out. Looking like an idiot in public used to be my absolute greatest fear. Being shy and awkward for years was much worse than any embarrasing moment could be. Learn to identify instances where fear is making a decision for you, and remind yourself that it is YOUR life and you can do whatever the fuck you please.

But no matter what, nothing will change unless you force yourself to directly confront your fears. Just think of something you wish you could do (ie walk up to a chick and say high), then imagine what it would be like if you had done it. Then just do it looking as confident as possible. Don't give yourself a chance to chicken out or rationalize your way out of it, JUST START WALKING. Throw yourself into those situations and soon you'll realize there is nothing to fear. That kind of fear is an illusion, I swear. You've just conditioned yourself to fear the consequences, probably because you suffered them as an impressionable child long ago. Since you let fear make the decision every time, the idea of not being afraid and just going ahead with it seems unacceptable. I know my anxiety used to stem back to a childhood event, and it took a lot of fearless actions to get rid of it.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

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