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OfflineFeanor
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The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience * 1
    #8371610 - 05/07/08 02:37 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

The Day I Almost Died – A Near Death Experience


I had just wrapped up a semester of college. At my place, I found myself quite bored; my eyes migrated towards my lab equipment in my closet. I decided that I might as well make some crystalline Dextromethorphan, not for myself, but for one of my friends; I’ve never liked the chemical, having constantly debated with myself and others whether or not it is even a psychedelic. I have come to the conclusion that it is more of a dissociative than anything. I place it in the category of “Frankenstein Molecules”, a term that D.M. Turner used to characterize Ketamine with. I don’t think those two molecules, DXM and Ketamine, are meant to be used as conscious-altering mechanisms. Although many might disagree with me, I do not consider them to be psychedelics.


Nevertheless, I thought that I would do a quick, little extraction in order to mend the dull boredom that had greeted me. I started the process, and after a little over two hours, I had it, pure Dextromethorphan in a crystalline form. I was staring at it, wondering just why I considered it to be a Frankenstein Molecule.


“You know what,” I mumbled to myself. “I’m going to eat some of it.”


Why? I’m not entirely sure; I just felt as if I wanted to examine its effects. Therefore, I carefully weighed out 350 milligrams of DXM. I put it in my mouth. Upon swallowing it, I almost vomited due to its absolutely disgusting taste. Therefore, I found myself going to Wendy’s. I ate some crispy chicken nuggets, and the taste of DXM crystals quickly dissipated from my mouth.


Upon arriving back at my place after Wendy’s, I immediately began to notice effects; it had only been 10 minutes. I was a bit surprised at the quick uptake. It hit me quite fast and hard. The effects at first were very dissociative; I was walking a bit like a drunk. I noticed no psychedelic effects.


I made my way up to my room, turned off my lights, and laid on my bed. Upon staring at my ceiling, I noticed no visual differentiation from my usual sight outlook. Due to having gone through numerous psychedelic experiences, I always have close-eyed and open-eyed visuals; however, I didn’t notice any differentiation in my usual perceptional field.


Ten more minutes went past, and everything became extremely intense; there still weren’t any psychedelic visuals. Also, a psychedelic feel was lacking. I quite simply felt like I had drunk around 50 shots of tequila.


“What the fuck,” I said to myself.


I was starting to get a little worried. Therefore, I grabbed my cell phone and texted a good friend of mine numerous text messages. Although I have not known this man for long, I trust him with my life; I would die for him. He’s just one of those people that I have faith in, for I have tripped with him before, and I can tell that his intentions are pure. He happens to have a lot of experience with DXM, so I quickly asked him to explain to me what exactly was going on. I would have called him, but I noticed that I couldn’t quite talk! It was very odd, indeed.


I began to ask him what was going on with me. I was freaking out.


“This should not be happening to me,” I kept on saying inside my head. “I only took 350 milligrams of DXM.”


I lost count of how many psychedelic experiences I have been through when I went over 150. I understand the experience. I knew that this should not be happening; however, something in the back of my head kept on telling me that this was normal, that I was overreacting.


“Holy shit,” I said to myself. “My fucking medicine.”


I have OCD, and I am on an anti-depressant. Due to the nature of psychological affliction, I have to take a very high dose of an anti-depressant. Usually, with the tryptamines and the phenethylamines that I take, I have absolutely no problem; the anti-depressant doesn’t cause any difference in the experience. When I first got on the medicine, I heavily researched all of the interactions it has with other drugs. For the most part, I was ok. I had always thought DXM as being something stupid, and due to this, I had never really looked into its interactions with my medication.


I immediately sent my friend a message, explaining this to him. I was panicking that I might die. I asked him if I was going to.


“Well, the combination is not recommended, but you will be ok. You won’t die,” he said.


He said the magic words; like I said earlier, I trust his word, and I take it to heart. He said I wasn’t going to die, and therefore, I wasn’t going to die. His message gave me the strength and hope I needed to summon the bravery that I needed for the remainder of the night.


I put up my phone; it took an extreme amount of concentration on my behalf to send and read the messages. Suddenly, everything got much more intense. My vision was becoming extremely skewed, not so much in a psychedelic sense, but in a blinding sense. I lied on my bed, which is around twenty feet from my door; my door was right up to my face. I attempted to stretch out my hand to touch my door, and I realized that I couldn’t even lift up my arm. I tried again, concentrating very hard on lifting up my hand. It worked; however, once again, it did not feel right.


Suddenly, my brain began to scream in agony. It felt as if fifty knives were being shoved into my skull. I couldn’t stand the pain, for it was very intense. It wasn’t just a psychological pain, but it was primarily a physiological pain. It felt as if neurons were attempting to grind their way right outside my head. I had to urinate quite badly. I concentrated with all my might to stand up. I stood up, and then, I fell right back down on the ground. I hit the ground hard. I got back up, walking as if it were my first time to use a body and a pair of legs. I made my way to my bathroom, somehow, someway, and I sat on the toilet. It took me around 15 minutes to pee.


When I was done, I somehow managed to make it back to my bed. I collapsed on my bed, and I pressed a key on my computer that I knew, at the time, would tune me into Live Phish Radio. I was trying to soothe myself, but Phish, which is usually a huge help for me, wasn’t able to do anything. I was still in intense pain. My brain ached severely. What in the hell was going on? Something finally clicked.


“Serotonin Syndrome,” I whispered. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I can’t believe it.”


Now, I began to really panic. I knew that an episode of serotonin syndrome could all too easily lead to death. I was worried. Don’t get me wrong; if there’s one thing that psychedelics have taught me, it is that death is going to be the ultimate psychedelic adventure. I greet death with open arms, and I can not wait to die; however, if I died from DXM, my death would just be an embarrassment, I felt! I couldn’t have people coming to my funeral, knowing that I died from DXM. What a disgrace! I was determined to live. At the time, I thought of so many things that I still wanted to do: there were places I wanted to go to and people I wanted to meet. Kids… I wanted to have kids.


Therefore, I resolved to live; I chose to live, and I think that, and that alone, gave me the power to make it through this episode of Serotonin Syndrome.


Suddenly, everything started to change yet again. Everything, yes, you guessed it, got worse. My body temperature began to dramatically rise; I felt very, very hot. The next thing that I noticed was that my eyesight completely dwindled away. I was blind. I couldn’t see anything except for a huge black pit, a massively un-detailed blackness. The pain was still there. I felt absolutely horrible. I have gone through many painful events in my life, and nothing, absolutely nothing, could compare to the pain I was feeling at the moment. My brain was on fire. All of the sudden, I became paralyzed; I couldn’t move any part of my body. I just kept on attempting to breathe.


“Breathe,” I internally told myself. “Breathe.”


I was staring straight into the impenetrable blackness. Suddenly, an invisible hook, or so it felt like, attached itself to me, dragging me mercilessly forward into the darkness.


“Hold on, Hannah!” said an interestingly unique voice inside of my head.


It was Terence McKenna’s. I know it was.


Nothingness.


I opened my eyes. My head was pounding, and my body was shaking. I was capable of moving my legs and arms. I grabbed my cell phone, and I instantly realized that I must have been completely unconscious for one to two hours. I had no recollection at all as to what had happened during those two hours.


I was still feeling like crap; I still felt like I had been hit by an eighteen wheeler. I picked up my phone and called one of my best friends.


“I’m pretty sure that I just almost died,” I said. “Serotonin Syndrome.”


He instantly came to my place. I had enough strength in me to walk down the stairs. I lied down on a sofa. Cold air was hitting my body. It felt good. My friend arrived. He rushed in, and I explained everything to him. He told me to drink some water and to make myself throw up. I drank a bottle of water, which instantly catalyzed that all-so-familiar-I’m-about-to-regurgitate feeling. I went outside, and I threw up four times. As soon as I threw up, I began to feel a lot better.


I made my way back inside. I sat around for a little while, and then, I went to take a nice, cold shower. It was very soothing. I still felt horrible. My head was still aching, but not nearly as bad as it had been. It was now four in the morning. I ate the DXM at eight that evening. I got in my bed, preparing to go to sleep. As I shut my eyes, I thanked the Divine for granting me the opportunity to live another day.


I woke up the following day. My condition was basically gone; I still had a bit of a hangover kind of a feeling, but overall, I was astounded and grateful with how well I felt. I still had a bit of a headache, which I decided to cure by smoking a doobie. As I got on my bike, I lit up my joint and rode to a nearby park. While I was at the park, I thought, as I took a few hits, about all of the small, finite things in my life: a girl who I had just recently begun to sort of like, the final exams I had just taken, and where I was going to live for the summer. All of these things seemed so insignificant. I smiled and laughed. Sometimes, you just don’t realize how unimportant many things are. Nothing really matters, I thought to myself, for everything simply leads to death. Therefore, I decided that I should take my seat in the cosmic raft and flow down the river of life, worrying about nothing. Simply put, I was happy to be alive.


I wrote this not only for therapeutic reasons; it is my hopeful intention that others will read this, learn from it, and get something out of it.


Thank you for reading.


--------------------

May Terence McKenna Live Long

The DMT Chronicles


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OfflineSaintDunsmere
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Feanor]
    #8372555 - 05/07/08 12:27 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Sounds like one of the more frightening experiences one could go through!

I am glad to hear you pulled through! :smile:

The name DXM has always just made me cringe


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Feanor]
    #8373598 - 05/07/08 05:35 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

christ
you bedda be mo careful


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OfflineRedRainDrop
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Registered: 04/08/05
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: redgreenvines]
    #8381083 - 05/09/08 11:08 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

must have been a bad combo..... i myself was addicted to dxm for about a year, and havent touched it for a long time...

once took 810Mg, and oded....just terrible feeling that is on dxm.


--------------------
Fact: Saving the environment can take centuries
A blow job can take up to 5 minutes.
"When was the last time you heard green peace talk about the immense pleasure you get when you put your penis in someone Else's mouth? " -jonlajoie


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Offlinesubnoizesrh
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Registered: 05/09/08
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: RedRainDrop]
    #8381171 - 05/09/08 11:49 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Sounds really weird, although when I used Dex, I never had any experience that dangerous, can I can relate on a lighter scale, however stupidly one timeon a dare I ingested approx 14g of Destroyer Angels. I believe I should be dead today, I would never wish that experience on anyone.


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OfflineLocus
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Feanor]
    #8381317 - 05/09/08 12:51 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

awesome bro :smile:


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlineallhallows
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Registered: 02/23/08
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Locus]
    #8402519 - 05/14/08 10:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

holy hell! Did you shit or piss your pants? <- serious question


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OfflineFeanor
Crafter of the Silmarils
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Registered: 05/07/06
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: allhallows]
    #8402575 - 05/14/08 10:58 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Lol.

No, I didn't, but it did take around 15 hard minutes of concentration before I could get some pee to come out of me.


--------------------

May Terence McKenna Live Long

The DMT Chronicles


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OfflineWScott
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Feanor]
    #8406023 - 05/15/08 06:44 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Hold on, Hannah! :grin:


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Invisiblebmiles
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Re: The Day I Almost Died - A Near Death Experience [Re: Feanor]
    #8406073 - 05/15/08 06:56 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Damn good post.


--------------------
Never go with a hippy to a second location.


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