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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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frightening mental projection
#8325544 - 04/25/08 12:15 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Lately when I have been practicing being mindful I will reach this point where I feel like I am a kid again and it is scary to just be in the dark. Then my mind will project some kind of demonic like entity like something out of the exorcist. For example, I was leaving my bedroom to get a glass of water and before I opened the door my imagination went crazy and was telling me there was some kind of demonic creature that was going to be standing outside the door with a demonic grin and black-hole eyes.
Does this have something to do with being traumatized in childhood? I am trying to understand what this projection is about and why it is there. I suppose it represents death, or a fundamental perversion of life or goodness. I just can't imagine how I can confront it. Every time I picture myself looking into the eyes of this demon I have to stop thinking about it, it just doesn't seem possible. I think that I believe if I look into the demon's eyes, I will become him.
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HugaDeadHead
yogi
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 417
Loc: here, there, and everywhe...
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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have you seen 'monsters inc.'? the animated movie.
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: frightening mental projection [Re: HugaDeadHead]
#8325578 - 04/25/08 12:32 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yes..
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HugaDeadHead
yogi
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 417
Loc: here, there, and everywhe...
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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if you were to look into the eyes the unknown be known. something is to be acknowledged, learned. continuously not accepting what has come could only bring more fear.
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AnarchoTrip
Young Blood
Registered: 03/26/07
Posts: 2,649
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: frightening mental projection [Re: HugaDeadHead]
#8325775 - 04/25/08 02:00 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I get frightening mental projections often, too. Mine, however, I project onto other people; usually strangers, usually male (masculinity), and frequently people under the influence of any substance (alcohol, marijuana, LSD, etc).
I've tried to interpret these mental hallucinations, too. And also, I tend to just ignore them. Sometimes I project them onto myself--I see myself as demonic, evil, vile. I'm not sure either why I get these images; my close friends have blamed it on drug use, and I somewhat agree with them.
Here's my idea: I've seen REALLY REALLY beautiful things, specifically while on psychedelic drugs, I've felt euphoria, peacefulness and love on unimaginable levels both while on psychedelic drugs and sometimes sober (after my introduction to psychedelic drugs). I think my projections are the "goodness" in my crying out and weeping that there isn't goodness, peace, love in the world--or at least, more of it.
I don't really know if ignoring the images is better than confronting them. I think about them sometimes--analyze them--but for the most part, ignoring them works best.
I hope you find peacefulness with your images; at least take comfort that you're not alone.
-------------------- YIPPIE!
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Does this have something to do with being traumatized in childhood? I am trying to understand what this projection is about and why it is there. I suppose it represents death,
Could be. I went through something similar for many years. When I focused on my death in depth and what that meant it seems to have become a non issue.
Just remember what you really know. You are a being on the way to dying. Everything else is speculation.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Quote:
I think that I believe if I look into the demon's eyes, I will become him.
What if you already ARE him? Or more precisely, what if "he" is aspects of yourself which you are rejecting? We all have shadow aspects of our personality which we would rather deny and ignore than face up to and accept.
My recommendation is that, immediately prior to going to sleep, you spend 15 minutes imagining this demon in as much detail as possible. Allow all your emotions to come up, and feel them as fully as you are able/willing. Once the emotions are at their peak, begin to progressively relax your body while breathing deeply and evenly. Release all the tension your emotions have created, and visualize a warm golden light gradually filling your body.
After this exercise, you may dream about the "demon." If you do, you will have the opportunity to confront him and inquire as to what he represents, or what he wants you to know. IME, this type of dialogue can be very revealing. If you manage to be lucid during this dream, embrace this demon and tell him that he is welcome back anytime.
I do not believe that demons exist, but rather that we create them in our minds by denying aspects of who we are. If you can use this "entity" to gain the information which you have been hiding from yourself, you will probably stop sensing and fearing him.
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asian_raggs
Stranger
Registered: 03/05/08
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Re: frightening mental projection [Re: Veritas]
#8328104 - 04/25/08 06:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Verry well put, Veritas
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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first of all, you have to understand that your meditation is working - you are penetrating into a more layered state of mind via concentration effort.
I have written quite a bit about layered states of mind, and the effects of longer signal fadeouts that cause layering of mind moments causing shifts in mental states.
dreaming involves layering of mind moments, psychedelic induces them as well, emotional shifts will induce them and meditation induces them purposefully by direct effort.
during psychedelic you may first notice a mirthfulness, giddiness, then tracers or trails for all sensations, echoing of thought and sound; and as the layering effect which is due to slower fading of signals increases, you will notice additional selves, or entities.
When the signal fadeouts are even longer, all signals tend to merge and people report "ego- loss" or mergeing or unity type experiences.
All of this is to say, that you are doing fine: the sense of being younger is akin to mirthfulness (joy), but also indicative that you are gently accessing more youthful memories normally unavailable.
You are meditating, so you need not hesitate or trigger these memories; instead you are observing them more like a field or personality matrix, or cloud of being. you continue your meditation.
In meditation you return to your point of focus, unhindered by such phenomena. the entity you are experiencing is merely a shadow form which splits off of your self momentarily from a break in your meditaion. It indicates a break in concentration that forks off nearly independently, when taking a moment off of your mainline practice to marvel at the character of that youthful personality matrix which you can now more easily access.
you can continue adding to your meditation the acceptance of the entity which is now part of the background and just continue. In the literature this is refered to as Mara or the temptation of st anthony. All meditators face this from time to time and take it in stride.
-------------------- _ 🧠_
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Boots
Disenchanted
Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 1,137
Loc: Northwood, Ohio, U.S.A.
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
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Re: frightening mental projection [Re: redgreenvines]
#8329811 - 04/26/08 08:29 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
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Tell your imagination it's crazy and open the door. Also, what do you mean when you say "practicing being mindful"?
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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My Demon/Shadow contact/appearance coincided nicely with the cinematic screening of the 'black spidey suit'...
I think every hero encounters his 'demons' at some point in the journey.
Its interesting that you talk about the black hole eyes.
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Yeah, I once saw black hole eyes on myself in a mirror in a dream. They were very hard to look at (physically speaking). Ultimately I figured it was just a visual manifestation of being awake and aware while still in the "dream world." My eyes had already sucked up my grandparents in that dream through my awareness, then it happened to myself when I looked in the mirror, and the dream was over.
I think you saw that post, actually.
Good luck figuring out your demon, though... sounds like RGV may have hit the nail on the head.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
Edited by Tchan909 (04/26/08 01:21 PM)
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