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 Bacon Bits
Stranger
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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 Problem with the girlfriend 
#8254283 - 04/08/08 03:32 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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I know there have been plenty of these girlfriend posts, but I couldn't find one that was similar to my situation. Im really at a loss here.
Ive been with this girl for quite some time and I love her very much. Before we were dating, I told her about my first trip and she thought it was fascinating but disapproved. Shes very very anti-drug/cigarettes and only this year started to moderately drink. I recently decided to have a trip and knew that there is no way I could tell her without her freaking out on me. Well, lo and behold she found out today from a friends stupid facebook message that was left open. She called me crying and was very upset that I tripped. We've discussed this so many times and I have told her that mushrooms are not a horrible drug, but she refuses to looks past all the bullshit propaganda that she was raised on. I told her all the facts on how they aren't addictive, are safe when used responsibly, and how you can gain so much insight from them.
Even though she said she wants me to tell her if I'm going to take some, she tells me she will never accept them. And that this entire interest makes me distant from her. I just find it so frustrating because I love what I have gotten out of shrooms, but at the same time I don't want to have this secret life from her. Should I just not trip anymore because I don't want to ruin this wonderful relationship. This is the only issue we have had...haha it's like I know the answer already, but I want to refuse it. I could easily do it on my own time without her knowing, but its wrong. She told me that I make the choices and she can't stop me or force me to change, but I know her stance on it. So she has pretty much said it's either her or mushrooms. Gah!
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Coaster
BaĘżal
 
Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 33,501
Loc: Deep in the Valley
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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 Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
#8254285 - 04/08/08 03:34 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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ya man dam bitchs can be so nonunderstanding
jus trip and dun tell that ho
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DimensionX
King of Birds
Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 5,486
Loc: Australia 
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Coaster]
#8254288 - 04/08/08 03:39 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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Thats what i do. Ive had a few close calls with my friends doing similar things. I don't like hiding it, but as a drug user ive gotten used to hiding it from people close to me.
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Darkstrand
Stranger
Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 115
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
#8254289 - 04/08/08 03:39 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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There is no reasoning with people so shut out from the truth, if she's not willing to accept you for who you are.. then so be it. There are more fish in the sea.
I don't really see a relationship like this working if you both can't come to a middle ground. Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for, just my opinion.
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Not Yet.
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 t00th
something terrible
Registered: 12/03/07
Posts: 3,946
Loc: the dirty dirty
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Darkstrand]
#8254308 - 04/08/08 04:10 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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if tripping is going to be a part of your life for a long time, then it does seem like your going to have to choose. sure, you can hide it 98% of the time. but there will be those times where she will catch you. and it wont be good. seems like your gonna have to make a decision now.
that being said, im really lucky my girl loves tripping.
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littlebirdie
Stranger
Registered: 09/15/07
Posts: 285
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
#8254324 - 04/08/08 04:22 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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Hey there,
This shouldn't be a "her or the mushrooms" situation. A strong and loving relationship should have room for a difference or two like this.
Have you given your girlfriend some literature to read? Perhaps something outside of the lists of reasons why mushrooms aren't harmful, maybe Gordon Wasson's "Seeking the Magic Mushroom" article that appeared in LIFE magazine (see: http://www.imaginaria.org/wasson/life.htm). This is an incredibly mystical and solid article that may intrigue her.
Our culture teaches us to fear things that are outside of everyday convention. Your girlfriend has been conditioned to feel and react this way to mushrooms; it isn't a rational response. So, you need to work through the situation in a creative way to get past those cultural barriers.
Good luck. I hope this doesn't end what sounds like a great relationship. I, personally, wouldn't give up my own explorations because of any boyfriend.
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satyr
אתה בעצמך יודע
Registered: 11/13/07
Posts: 3,396
Loc: Alpha Canis Majoris
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: littlebirdie]
#8254386 - 04/08/08 05:26 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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Who is she to get upset with you for taking mushrooms? Its your life, your choice. She has absolutely no say whatsoever. She has every right to voice her opinion, but thats as far as it goes. The issue should be over once you tell her that it is something you love to do. DO NOT compromise your life or the things you enjoy for a female, no matter how much you love them. If a girl tells you that you have to give up something to be with them, then she is no girl for you my friend. There was a girl I cared very much for a few years back, but then she gave me an ultimatum and said it was either her or marijuana. Guess what; Im still smoking. Trust me, Ive been through many relationships and can give sound advice on this: If someone loves you, they will not ask you to give up something you love. Let her know that you are going to continue doing what you do, if she doesnt like it, then thats her problem. You shouldnt have to explain more than once. What can she do, leave you? If so, fuck it. It will be her loss. You gotta live your life man, the point of life is being happy, if something holds you back from that, you have to cut it off. good luck
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Looking for Astrophytum asterias specimens; have cacti for trade 
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 20 hours
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: littlebirdie]
#8254774 - 04/08/08 09:26 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
littlebirdie said:
Hey there,
This shouldn't be a "her or the mushrooms" situation. A strong and loving relationship should have room for a difference or two like this.
Good luck. I hope this doesn't end what sounds like a great relationship. I, personally, wouldn't give up my own explorations because of any boyfriend.
I agree with this. You should be able to tell her you're going to trip when you're going to trip, and it should be her call whether or not she wants to exposer herself to it. Differences are going to show in a relationship, and if you can't get through them, it probably isn't meant to be.
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Bend the Bong
replace concrete with trees
Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 91
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: littlebirdie]
#8254802 - 04/08/08 09:41 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
littlebirdie said:
Hey there,
This shouldn't be a "her or the mushrooms" situation. A strong and loving relationship should have room for a difference or two like this.
Have you given your girlfriend some literature to read? Perhaps something outside of the lists of reasons why mushrooms aren't harmful, maybe Gordon Wasson's "Seeking the Magic Mushroom" article that appeared in LIFE magazine (see: http://www.imaginaria.org/wasson/life.htm). This is an incredibly mystical and solid article that may intrigue her.
Our culture teaches us to fear things that are outside of everyday convention. Your girlfriend has been conditioned to feel and react this way to mushrooms; it isn't a rational response. So, you need to work through the situation in a creative way to get past those cultural barriers.
Good luck. I hope this doesn't end what sounds like a great relationship. I, personally, wouldn't give up my own explorations because of any boyfriend.
exactly..she needs some different input...the previous input from her peers and propaganda has always been negative due to the stigma from the 'sit on your head' substances give you...google some interesting things about the mushrooms and the psychedelic trip itself...show her it's not about escaping and numbing, it's about feeling new things, and getting into to new thoughts...you are the fisherman in the sea of new ideas...
edit: my girlfriend hates me being on the computer haha like seriously hates it....and she despises the forums and video games I play
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Behind Closed Eyelids
Edited by Bend the Bong (04/08/08 09:43 AM)
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LSDreamer
Materialist
Registered: 03/11/08
Posts: 10,059
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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IME, if someone isn't chill with drugs, chances are they're not someone I especially want to hang out with because drugs, especially psychedelics, are an integral part of my self-identity. If they aren't down with drugs, they can't be down with me. I'd personally never date a chic who wasn't chill. If she wants you to choose between shrooms and her, I'd break it off with her ASAP bc you do NOT want to be involved with a chic who's going to pull that kind of shit.
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citricacidx
FunGuy
Registered: 07/23/07
Posts: 9,027
Loc: GA
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: LSDreamer]
#8254856 - 04/08/08 10:13 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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I say propose to her the idea of her being with you while you trip. That way it doesn't force her to take something she doesn't like (which would possibly result in a bad trip), and she'll see you're not running around chasing pink elephants while screaming maniacally and foaming from the mouth.
Tell her that you don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do, but you want her to know that you're being safe and responsible about it.
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WaterNymph
Time//SpaceTraveller
Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 18
Loc: A2, MI
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: citricacidx]
#8254882 - 04/08/08 10:22 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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I don't think I could date someone who didn't share in that moment - not that I don't have friends who don't do any drugs, I do - just that an intimate relationship should be just that - intimate. I feel like tripping is such a personal experience, whoever your dating should want to be a part of the experience.
That's how I feel about it for myself.
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People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
-Soren Kierkegaard
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Bend the Bong
replace concrete with trees
Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 91
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: WaterNymph]
#8255061 - 04/08/08 11:25 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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I'd date a women who wasn't down with substances even thought the psychedelic ones have become important to me...that is their choice, but if they were against me having any part of it than I may have to reconsider...
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Behind Closed Eyelids
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: citricacidx]
#8255101 - 04/08/08 11:42 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
citricacidx said:
I say propose to her the idea of her being with you while you trip. That way it doesn't force her to take something she doesn't like (which would possibly result in a bad trip), and she'll see you're not running around chasing pink elephants while screaming maniacally and foaming from the mouth.
Ugh... good idea in principle but IMO this would just lead to her giving an overall bad vibe to the trip... by constantly making disparaging comments about how drugs or bad, or even by obsessively worrying about the OP's safety, tripping with another sober person who's actively anti-tripping just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  
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Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: deCypher]
#8255196 - 04/08/08 12:20 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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This bitch is just jealous that she's too afraid to go where you clearly have no problems going.
As everyone else said, FUCK THAT SHIT, HER LOSS, THERE ARE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL KINDS OF BITCHES, BROTHER.
In fact, there are ALLLLLLLL kinds of lovely women who AREN'T stupid silly bitches. TONS OF 'EM!!!! AND THEY'RE OUT THERE RIGHT NOW!!!
THEY'RE WAITIN' FOR YOU MAN!!
FUCKIN... THEY'RE WAITIN FOR ME TOO!!!! I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUTSIDE! RIGHT NOW! YOU TOO! LETS GO!
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Bacon Bits
Stranger
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: deCypher]
#8255218 - 04/08/08 12:31 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Wow, thanks everyone for your input.
First I want to say that I'm not a big time tripper; I probably do it once a month or every couple months, but that doesn't mean I want it out of my life completely.
I think my game plan is going to be this:
- wait a little while for her emotions to die down. She was pretty upset yesterday and I know that if I make any mention about it now, she'll be even more upset.
- I'm going to then bring up how I want to have a trip. It helps focus my life and it brings me more appreciation for the world. I'll tell her that it's not right for her to stop me. If she truly loves me then she will be able to accept this as something I love. I will attempt to show her that article that littlebirdie suggested and possibly other things. I just need her to realize that I'm still the same person and this drug is not a monstrous thing. Loving someone means to accept them for who they are. I can understand if you want to help someone that is abusing drugs, but to try and stop someone from doing something they love that clearly hasn't had a single negative affect on them is just wrong.
- If she decides she can't except that at all, then so be it. I think if the time comes for her to decide the fate of my relationship with her, she'll realize what she will be losing because I enjoy a harmless activity.
What really irks me is the fact that her one roommate smokes pot everyday to fall asleep, wake up, or just for the hell of it. And even though my gf hates pot, even though she disapproves of her friend smoking, she still has the same relationship that she did before she smoked. She still cares for her and ignores her habit. And her best friend now smokes cigarettes, and she hates this, but again, she still loves her dearly. She wants her to stop, but still accepts her.
Why does it have to be different with me! Is she trying to protect me? Does she feel like she has more power to change my habits than she does with her two friends? I think that might be a big factor there.
So if I can give her things to read (even though she probably won't) and I tell her that I'm not going to stop something that is so important to me because she is afraid that I will be hurt or move on to tougher drugs, then maybe she'll come around. That's all I can do at this point.
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Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
#8255229 - 04/08/08 12:36 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
Bacon Bits said:
What really irks me is the fact that her one roommate smokes pot everyday to fall asleep, wake up, or just for the hell of it. And even though my gf hates pot, even though she disapproves of her friend smoking, she still has the same relationship that she did before she smoked. She still cares for her and ignores her habit. And her best friend now smokes cigarettes, and she hates this, but again, she still loves her dearly. She wants her to stop, but still accepts her.
Why does it have to be different with me! Is she trying to protect me? Does she feel like she has more power to change my habits than she does with her two friends? I think that might be a big factor there.
This right here should be enough for you to tell her to piss off, dude.
I don't know how old you are, I don't know how attractive and smooth with the ladies you are, but this right here is BS.
If she can let her bitch do whatever, and try to give you shit, it's because she wants you to be what she wants, not what you want. And that kinda shit is what makes people end up on fucking divorce court on public television.
You wanna be on fucking Judge Lynn fucking ass hat Taylor? I didn't think so brother.
Girls are conniving little fucking cunts, dripping in steamy wet INSECURITY, and lathered in a sugary coating of nasty, nasty JEALOUSY. And your bitch isn't even doing a good job of hiding it, bro.
FIND ANOTHER VAG. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR!
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Irradiated_Feces
doomedgeneration
Registered: 07/11/03
Posts: 4,278
Loc: Great White North
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
#8255235 - 04/08/08 12:38 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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bitches come and go the drugs are here for life. 
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Bacon Bits
Stranger
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Ell Ess Bree]
#8255259 - 04/08/08 12:46 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
Ell Ess Bree said:
This right here should be enough for you to tell her to piss off, dude.
I don't know how old you are, I don't know how attractive and smooth with the ladies you are, but this right here is BS.
I'm 20 and obviously lacking any major relationship experience. This is the first big one I've been in. But I think you're right. She's just trying to change me to her liking. Sigh.
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kungpow
SeasonedPsychonaut
Registered: 10/05/05
Posts: 1,669
Loc: AaAaAaAa
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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If she has a problem with you tripping after you talk to her I would tell her to fuck off, and break up with her. Tripping is a big part of my life and if anyone tried telling me I couldn't do it I would be pretty pissed. My girl doesn't usually trip, she does sometimes, but not usually. So what I do is I just wait until she goes to bed before I trip. It gives me some nice time to myself and I don't have to worry about being around other people.
I know that if your girl doesn't quite approve with your tripping it has got to play hell with your trip especially if you are sneaking around. I know sneaking a trip would totally put me in a bad place.
Talk to her and tell her the facts if she still has a problem tell her to fuck off. Things are easy now. From what it sounds like you don't live together and she isn't pregnant yet. So do yourself a favor before it is too late. Once you move in with each other breaking up is alot harder because it involves moving and splitting up shit. Then she gets pregnant and you gotta worry about child support. I wish I would have taken the advice I am giving when it was given to me.
Good Luck
~Peace Out
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Monotub #3 - check out my best grow to date!!!!
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