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Offlinesmokeybear
brown chicken brown cow
Male

Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 840
Loc: The sticks
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
    #8255534 - 04/08/08 04:05 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Bacon Bits said:
Quote:

Ell Ess Bree said:
This right here should be enough for you to tell her to piss off, dude.

I don't know how old you are, I don't know how attractive and smooth with the ladies you are, but this right here is BS.




I'm 20 and obviously lacking any major relationship experience. This is the first big one I've been in. But I think you're right. She's just trying to change me to her liking. Sigh.




man since your only 20, im gonna say your more than likely not head over heels in love with her. if she is still irrational after a few days even weeks, then it may be time to call it quits. bitches are crazy and they will seriously hold it against you forever. hiding it from her will only make your relationship stupid stressful or trying to convince her is just going to piss her off. play it by ear man, if shit gets bad/crazy/stressful, get out.


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OfflineBacon Bits
Stranger


Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: smokeybear]
    #8255826 - 04/08/08 05:27 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

She told me a couple weeks ago in a message, before the big blowout:

"I know you won't abuse it, or you don't ever want to abuse it, you think it's fascinating and cool to try again. To me, it's unnecessary and unreal. You will use it, and have an amazing time with whoever you tried it with, come back and tell me about it, but will I ever understand it? I dont want to say no to the fact that you want to try it because I hate to make you into who I think you should be, I love you for who you are. But I will never be able to understand this. and when I don't understand it I feel distant, it's human nature. I want you to tell me about it either way. and I appreciate you asking me about it."

The way she responded to me on the phone was opposite of what she said here. It was probably just in the heat of the moment. I should have told her I tripped, but I didn't want to cause upset because I hid it from her. It bit me in the ass yesterday. So I think I can talk to her again and make her understand how I feel.

I'm sorry for bugging you all with this. It's something I've never been through and by writing this out to you guys, my mind is clearing up and I feel a lot better about it. I also appreciate all your opinions. Thanks everyone :smile:


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InvisibleEll Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
    #8255840 - 04/08/08 05:29 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Good, now FUCK HER IN THE FACE for being such a tight cunt.
















KIDDING!
























Maybe.....







:congrats:


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Offlinesalvia queen
Stranger

Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 4
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
    #8255846 - 04/08/08 05:31 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

well i think that you should continue to trip because there is so many girls out there that will be understanding. when i heard that my boyfriend did drugs i was concerned too but i realized that drugs are a part of opening the mind and experiencing the different effects of that drug.Also a lot of my girl friends don't except it either,but i say you knew i did drugs when we met so if you don't like it the door is over there.

so i say keep on tripping and some day you will meet some one that excepts it.

also you don't need to tell her if your going to trip because that will probably ruin the trip because you will be worried about what she thinks.


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OfflineQuotation
Newb?

Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 106
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: salvia queen]
    #8255898 - 04/08/08 05:48 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I think the fact that you hid it for her is what caused her to react the way she did. She seemed to be at least moderately tolerant of your drug use. However, when it became this secret that you kept from her, she felt hurt. She mentioned the fact you were tripping made her feel distant. When you add to this that you're tripping behind her back after she asked you to tell her, it makes her feel even more distant. It seemed like she tried to meet you half way. She just wants to feel at least semi-included in a portion of your life that she does not understand. For you to do it without her knowledge just made her feel even less included in a part of your life that you hold in high esteem.


--------------------
Most people don't know how they're gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the bottles.-DrugstoreCowboy

The world is like a ride at an amusement park- thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's loud and fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Don't worry or be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride" But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? But it doesn't matter: It's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want.-BillHicks.


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Invisiblebryguy27007
Cosmonaut
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,503
Loc: Flag
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: satyr]
    #8255916 - 04/08/08 05:55 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

satyr said:
Who is she to get upset with you for taking mushrooms? Its your life, your choice. She has absolutely no say whatsoever. She has every right to voice her opinion, but thats as far as it goes. The issue should be over once you tell her that it is something you love to do. DO NOT compromise your life or the things you enjoy for a female, no matter how much you love them. If a girl tells you that you have to give up something to be with them, then she is no girl for you my friend. There was a girl I cared very much for a few years back, but then she gave me an ultimatum and said it was either her or marijuana. Guess what; Im still smoking.




I don't have much new to add, as I agree with most of the people here, but that post reminded me of this quote:

"Women get involved with a man with the idea that they can change the man for the better. Men get involved with women with the idea that they never will change. The reality is that women change and men will never change."


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OfflineBacon Bits
Stranger


Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Quotation]
    #8255924 - 04/08/08 05:59 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Quotation said:
I think the fact that you hid it for her is what caused her to react the way she did. She seemed to be at least moderately tolerant of your drug use. However, when it became this secret that you kept from her, she felt hurt. She mentioned the fact you were tripping made her feel distant. When you add to this that you're tripping behind her back after she asked you to tell her, it makes her feel even more distant. It seemed like she tried to meet you half way. She just wants to feel at least semi-included in a portion of your life that she does not understand. For you to do it without her knowledge just made her feel even less included in a part of your life that you hold in high esteem.




I think you're absolutely right. I haven't tripped after that talk, I just didn't tell her about that one recent time. I didn't expect her to find out and thought that we could start fresh. So I suppose I too am at fault for breaking her trust. I apologized for this and she has accepted that. She may be willing to meet me half way again, who knows.


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OfflineKickleM
A Dying Hope
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Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 15,447
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
    #8255977 - 04/08/08 06:16 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

P.S. Welcome to the Shroomery


--------------------
Being unable to make what is just strong,
we have made what is strong just. -- Pascal

Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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OfflineMalachor
Don't Panic
Male


Registered: 05/03/07
Posts: 22
Loc: Pacific ocean
Last seen: 9 years, 17 days
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Kickle]
    #8256029 - 04/08/08 06:28 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

You should just talk to her and see if you can come to an agreement or just to a point where she will accept what you do. She seemed to be at that point, but you made a mistake. As long as she can forgive you for that, you might be able to gain her trust again. Good luck man.


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OfflineMindGorilla
Stranger
Male


Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 285
Loc: Detroit
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: kungpow]
    #8256783 - 04/08/08 09:19 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I thought you were talking about my ex for a second.


As someone that has been your exact same shoes, I ended up breaking up with my g.f of 3 years over weed and shrooms.

Like someone else said, there shouldn't be an argument. You do what you do, and if she can't accept that, you need to find someone that can. The secret life thing doesn't ever work, trust me I know.


Edited by MindGorilla (04/08/08 09:20 PM)


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Offlines2clothing
Stranger

Registered: 09/07/07
Posts: 71
Loc: NV
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: MindGorilla]
    #8256978 - 04/08/08 09:56 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Yup yup shouldn't be any argument, I've gotten into this one over drinking.  Broke up because of a similar situation, can't stand other people trying to change me! :cool:


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Offlinechemical burn
fgt
Female


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 270
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: kungpow]
    #8257025 - 04/08/08 10:04 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

ugh. some girls just dont get it.
dose her, she'll get it.
haha


but seriously, that sucks. good luck working it out.


--------------------
take another death trip on your cocaine line, then take a step into my psychedelic mind.


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OfflineWaterNymph
Time//SpaceTraveller

Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 18
Loc: A2, MI
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: chemical burn]
    #8257086 - 04/08/08 10:17 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

ps

not all girls are jealous, insecure controlling cunts. not all girls are inherently bitches who want to grasp your balls with an iron fist of puritan rule.

some of us Vagina's are chill. as fuck.


--------------------
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
-Soren Kierkegaard


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OfflineNature Boy
Stranger than most
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 8,230
Loc: Samsara
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Bacon Bits]
    #8257124 - 04/08/08 10:24 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Bacon Bits said:
I think my game plan is going to be this:

- I'm going to then bring up how I want to have a trip. It helps focus my life and it brings me more appreciation for the world.




Yeah, well...just remember that what you are discussing and admitting to is illegal. Women (girls) SAY (and DO) stupid things, and this pissing contest might lead to just the wrong person learning about your recreational use of psychoactive mushrooms.

If I were you, I'd keep the discussion to a minimum, allow the whole matter to fade into the background, and eventually, a new, more appropriatly tolerant female will enter your life from whom you will not need to hide your use.

A woman scorned has the potential to turn into an evil, destructive, vindictive thing! You do not want to go to jail or even risk parental bust over this trivial (and it really is) relationship issue. My $.02
N.B.


--------------------
All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies.  Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit.  Note well:  Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend.  If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.

                                                                               


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InvisibledeCypher
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: WaterNymph]
    #8257138 - 04/08/08 10:27 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

not all girls are inherently bitches who want to grasp your balls with an iron fist of puritan rule.




This sentence made me LOL. :thumbup:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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Offlinekrosmo67
rider
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/19/07
Posts: 180
Loc: Norcal
Last seen: 2 months, 19 days
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: deCypher]
    #8257460 - 04/08/08 11:26 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

almost the same exact problem as you bacon bits, i swear i could repost this exact thread!

it took me a long time to realize that my ex was trying to make me what she wanted to be... and once i figured that out i became more of an independent person that realised a lot more shit about how dependent i was and how easily influenced, etc, that i was.

follow your heart


--------------------
“If you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out” - Timothy Leary

"The being of understanding is to not understand" - T.C.


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OfflineOrbital_Saucer
Other
Male

Registered: 10/13/06
Posts: 551
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: kungpow]
    #8257559 - 04/08/08 11:45 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I was in a similar situation. No, it doesn't have to be one or the other, but moderating yourself more than you normally would might need to happen.

One thing is for sure, if you push the issue of how amazing they are, or, god forbid, offer her some, you will get nowhere. Just carry on. My ex was the same way, but she eventually didn't mind so much, and nearly dropped acid once herself.

Just tread carefully around the issue.


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OfflineBacon Bits
Stranger


Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 8
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Orbital_Saucer]
    #8260022 - 04/09/08 04:10 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Good advice guys. I'm going to lay low for a bit as it's now finals so she'll be stressed like crazy. When school starts this summer, I'll bring it up and have a good level headed talk about it. And as for her saying that she feels distanced, she only senses this because she is refusing to understand something, or even try to understand something. I don't get it. So I'll lay it out how it is. Let her know that she can't change who I am and if she loves me then she'll accept it. If not...well many of you have already gone down that road. But I'll try to keep it positive and not make her feel like an ass. Even though she is being one.


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OfflineGlassjaw
Bettysmith

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 181
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: kungpow]
    #8260341 - 04/09/08 05:54 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

kungpow said:
If she has a problem with you tripping after you talk to her I would tell her to fuck off, and break up with her. Tripping is a big part of my life and if anyone tried telling me I couldn't do it I would be pretty pissed. My girl doesn't usually trip, she does sometimes, but not usually. So what I do is I just wait until she goes to bed before I trip. It gives me some nice time to myself and I don't have to worry about being around other people.

I know that if your girl doesn't quite approve with your tripping it has got to play hell with your trip especially if you are sneaking around. I know sneaking a trip would totally put me in a bad place.

Talk to her and tell her the facts if she still has a problem tell her to fuck off. Things are easy now. From what it sounds like you don't live together and she isn't pregnant yet. So do yourself a favor before it is too late. Once you move in with each other breaking up is alot harder because it involves moving and splitting up shit. Then she gets pregnant and you gotta worry about child support. I wish I would have taken the advice I am giving when it was given to me.

Good Luck

~Peace Out




Hit that nail on the head.

Dump the bitch.


--------------------


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Offlinebattleconvention
Stranger

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 10
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: Problem with the girlfriend [Re: Glassjaw]
    #8260454 - 04/09/08 06:25 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Just tell her when you decide to trip and make it clear to her that she is the one distancing herself, not the other way around.


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