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OfflineJustice_Fish
Fustice_Jish
Male


Registered: 01/06/07
Posts: 2,652
Loc: CebèuQ
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #8224566 - 04/01/08 02:42 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

April's Fool :smirk:

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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224570 - 04/01/08 02:43 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

Learyfan said:
I can't smuggle in a bag of clean shit with me.





you cant take a bag in, you're gonna have to stuff the clean shit
up your butt, they'll watch as it comes out to make sure it's your
own, dont be shocked if you're squatting on a desk in the
executive offices

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Offlinerobbyberto
Water Boy
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Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 15,502
Loc: Netherlands Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 24 days
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224573 - 04/01/08 02:43 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

I would have preferred a more elaborate story for an April fools joke. You're lazy.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington


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Offline13eetleJuice
the ghost with the most
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 2,253
Loc: 6' under pushin up shroom...
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224585 - 04/01/08 02:47 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

Learyfan said:
Hey, that's a pretty good idea.  But how can I shove the shit up my ass in such a way that it will go up there and stay up there???  :sad:

And how can I find someone to shit for me who has NEVER done drugs?  The test doesn't differentiate between a drug that you took today and a drug that you took in 1965.  They even test for Ayahuasca! 




Rummage through your neighbor's garbage. Someone on your block must have a small child and in this situation dirty diapers are your gold mine! :evil:


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Offlinexshadowmage666x
*opiate enthusiast*
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 3,047
Loc: Right Here, Right Now Flag
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: circularvortex]
    #8224588 - 04/01/08 02:49 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

circularvortex said:


Get a bottle of this shit.  It keeps me moving.

Also, drink some coffee and smoke cigs before you go in.  Just make a mess. :lol:





OMG i wondered if anyone had had this shit it is bomb!
I put it on absolutely everything


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"It is the prayer of my innermost being to realize my supreme identity in the liberated play of consciousness, the Vast Expanse. Now is the moment, Here is the place of Liberation. " -alex grey

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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #8224607 - 04/01/08 02:52 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:they'll watch as it comes out to make sure it's your
own




:lol:  That's funny in the way that you intended.  But I'm all high, so when I first read that, I thought that you meant that they would be able to tell if the shit that I smuggled up my ass was my own shit. 









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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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Invisibleohmatic
searcher
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Registered: 02/28/04
Posts: 6,742
Loc: europe
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224631 - 04/01/08 02:59 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA thanx dudes i nearly explodede reading this thread :awesome:


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:penis: MONOTUB tek :sun: HEATBOMB tek :penis:

RIP #cultivation! ....can't associate? well FUCK U !

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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #8224639 - 04/01/08 03:01 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

13eetleJuice said:
Rummage through your neighbor's garbage. Someone on your block must have a small child and in this situation dirty diapers are your gold mine! :evil:




That's a really good idea, Juice!  That's brown gold and I'm going to need it.  Cause this company also tests for LSD, better known as "The Big D".  Turns out that you can test for LSD from a stool sample now.  I'm screwed unless someone can tell me how to hide baby shit in my rectum.  HELP! 
:stars:







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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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Offlinecircularvortex
Bass Head
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Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
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Last seen: 25 days, 22 hours
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #8224640 - 04/01/08 03:02 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

13eetleJuice said:
Quote:

circularvortex said:






That's some hot cock.




:yesnod:  I love the cock sauce


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.


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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: ohmatic]
    #8224644 - 04/01/08 03:04 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

ohmatic said:
AHAHAHAHAHHAHA thanx dudes i nearly explodede reading this thread :awesome:




Help me think of a way to hide baby shit in my colon dude!  This company isn't fooling around.  They test for Peyote, for Christ's sake.








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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
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Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
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Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224669 - 04/01/08 03:08 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Smuggling in poop to a drug test takes some serious bowels...errr balls.


I don't believe it but it is possible


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Invisibledanknugz81
spiralingdownward
Male

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 882
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #8224675 - 04/01/08 03:09 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

this was a "shitty" april fool's joke.

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Offlinecircularvortex
Bass Head
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Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: danknugz81]
    #8224682 - 04/01/08 03:11 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

danknugz81 said:
this was a "shitty" april fool's joke.




Yuk yuk yuk


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.


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Offline13eetleJuice
the ghost with the most
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 2,253
Loc: 6' under pushin up shroom...
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224688 - 04/01/08 03:12 PM (16 years, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

Learyfan said:
I'm screwed unless someone can tell me how to hide baby shit in my rectum.  HELP! 
:stars:





Just get in there and get your hands dirty. Ever done any fisting? Yeah well me neither but it works in principle so just grab a handful of toddler droppings and shove it right up there.

You can even use a broom handle or some other makeshift tamping instrument in order to really pack it in there so that it doesn't come out without a good push.


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Invisiblenorml840
sex toy guru
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Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 3,170
Loc: lost
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #8224692 - 04/01/08 03:13 PM (16 years, 59 minutes ago)

yep....this is an april fools joke. i just spent 15 minutes lookin to see if this is even done. and as we all thought, there is no evidence of a shit test for drugs. i can't believe i just wasted 15 minutes of my day doing that, but i had to know.

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Offline13eetleJuice
the ghost with the most
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 2,253
Loc: 6' under pushin up shroom...
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: norml840]
    #8224697 - 04/01/08 03:14 PM (16 years, 58 minutes ago)

Lack of evidence is proof of nothing other than your failure to find it!


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Edited by 13eetleJuice (04/01/08 03:15 PM)

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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #8224716 - 04/01/08 03:18 PM (16 years, 54 minutes ago)

Quote:

13eetleJuice said:
Just get in there and get your hands dirty. Ever done any fisting? Yeah well me neither but it works in principle so just grab a handful of toddler droppings and shove it right up there.

You can even use a broom handle or some other makeshift tamping instrument in order to really pack it in there so that it doesn't come out without a good push.




Do you have a tek? I assume that I want to pack it in there loosely enough for it to be pushed out, but not loosely enough that it seems out into my undergarments.

You gotta have something, dude. They're going to test me for trips! They're going to know!









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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: danknugz81]
    #8224730 - 04/01/08 03:21 PM (16 years, 51 minutes ago)

Quote:

DeathCompany said:
Smuggling in poop to a drug test takes some serious bowels...errr balls.


I don't believe it but it is possible




Quote:

danknugz81 said:
this was a "shitty" april fool's joke.




Funny jokes, you guys. But stop being funny and help me out! I know they're going to get me for Kratom. I just know it.








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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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OfflineGastronomicus
3-0-G
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Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 9,744
Last seen: 2 days, 5 hours
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: Learyfan]
    #8224742 - 04/01/08 03:24 PM (16 years, 48 minutes ago)

Quote:

Learyfan said:





Haha, I never knew acid was also known as DMT :rolleyes:


--------------------
Make my Funk the P Funk, I wants to get Funked up

LAGM2024

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Invisiblenorml840
sex toy guru
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 3,170
Loc: lost
Re: I have to take a shit test for a new job. What should I do?? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #8224745 - 04/01/08 03:25 PM (16 years, 47 minutes ago)

Quote:

13eetleJuice said:
Lack of evidence is proof of nothing other than your failure to find it!


april fools......its real. he's not joking.

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