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Anonymous #1
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Justified Suicide?
#8118022 - 03/07/08 10:59 PM (16 years, 24 days ago) |
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I'm in a low place right now. I seem to fail at all important aspects of life. I have a family who cares and by most accounts have been blessed by ample opportunity. My life just seems to be falling apart, probably due due to my inability to be a competent worthy human. I never wanted to harm anyone or be a nuisance. Nevertheless I find I am a failure at life. Is there a situation where suicide is justified? Life seems like a wonderful opportunity but by most accounts I feel I have failed. Some of the ones closest to me have gone forever. Its hard to see a point to my existence. I need help.
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bryguy27007
Cosmonaut
Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,525
Loc:
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First of all, it depends on your view on if suicide is ok or not. It seems like you believe that suicide is generally not ok.
I suggest talking to at least two people. One of those people should be somebody who you trust and have known for a while and knows you. The second should be a professional.
Do you have more detail on your story? Do you feel like talking more? You can PM or AIM me if you would like to chat.
Edited by bryguy27007 (03/07/08 11:13 PM)
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LeftyBurnz
Mr. I Eat Butthole
Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 24,570
Loc: FL
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well all i have to say is that even when you are at your lowest point in life, even when you have noone left(or so you think) you can always turn things around and find good in life. where theres a will theres a way.
the way i see suicide is its all about choice. its your life, you ultimately choose what you want to do with it. if you feel that it is what you want to do, and you have taken every other avenue to turn your life around, then so be it. however when you have finally decided that suicide is for you, i suggest taking 2-4 more weeks to seriously re-contemplate it, and if you still cannot find a reason to want to be alive anymore, then you know what to do.
do what makes you happy. just remember, for all we know, this is your only shot at life.
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Anonymous #1
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your right I do need professional help and I will seek it. I see life as overall a beautiful thing but don't feel worthy as a human now and don't see much of a point to keep striving on.
I have problems, obviously. It doesn't really matter about the details, lets just say I have lost my soulmate and have lost my best friend as well. I'm so depressed. I hurt so much. I don't know what to do.
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bryguy27007
Cosmonaut
Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,525
Loc:
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Quote:
Anonymous said: your right I do need professional help and I will seek it. I see life as overall a beautiful thing but don't feel worthy as a human now and don't see much of a point to keep striving on.
I have problems, obviously. It doesn't really matter about the details, lets just say I have lost my soulmate and have lost my best friend as well. I'm so depressed. I hurt so much. I don't know what to do.
That is a good first step. If you really don't want to talk about it, I completely understand. But I would love to listen if you wanted to share. You don't have to do it publicly. I have E-mail and AIM as I have said.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Justified Suicide? [Re: LeftyBurnz]
#8118122 - 03/07/08 11:27 PM (16 years, 24 days ago) |
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i will not venture into this decision hastily, i will take time to asses the situation and become absolutly sure there is no other alternative
this may be my only opportunity at life and i must try to work things out
if it is meant to be may god ahve mercy on my soul
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whattheheck
Chief Love Lover
Registered: 06/01/07
Posts: 7,380
Loc: Denver Colorado
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I can see what you're saying man, I first contemplated suicide at age 9, and have a couple of other times since. I'm not going to give you a rah rah pep talk, but suicide isn't the answer. As most of us know, it's the really low times in our life that shape us in ways we never would have allowed otherwise. IF we learn we're better off for it, but a lot of people, myself included, are taught to just hate those "low" times, and get out of them as fast as they can. And that's why they come back again and again, because there's a lesson in these times for us, and it's not that you shouldn't be alive.
I pray that you'll find the peace that you deserve.
-------------------- A society whose whole idea is to eliminate suffering and bring it's members the greatest amount of comfort and pleasure is doomed to be destroyed -Thomas Merton
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Finding a path of discipline and dedicating yourself to it heart and soul for a year would be a good alternative.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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JoseLibrado
return
Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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hey
It seems that to want to end your life because of an inability that you have.
I think you see the solution to this inability to succeed as suicide.
If this is all true, then i would ask you to rethink about one thing. This suggestion may sound crazy once you begin to read, but bear with these thoughts its a pretty short read which i would appreaciate and welcome feedback on in any way.
When you speak about this inability, you almost talk about it like it is a part of yourself, like it reflects who you are. I see this when you brought the thought "due to my inability to be a competent worthy human"
Looking at this from a rational, prespective this does not make sense.
If I say that I have something, which does not allow me to BE something, then what i am saying is that What i have, is what i am being.
Problem with this logic is that you cannot HAVE what you are and when you say, "My inability is stopping me from becoming what i want to be" it rest on this idea that "Our abilities or inabilities, feelings and lack of feelings, knowledge or lack of knowledge, is what we are."
If it was logical to say that all people have what they are, then it would also be logical to say that they HAVE themselves.
But if this is true, then one could also say logically that they could throw themselves away, because they have themselves, and start over.
But this is surely not possible. You cannot throw something away, which you ARE, it is simply not possible unless you believe you HAVE what you ARE. Why? Well, when you Throw something, there is the Object being thrown and the subject THROWING.
However, because of a lack of logic in our common cultural understanding about how we define ourselves, this idea that you can Throw yourself away, for example, makes perfect sense, because our cultural thought has confused what we HAVE, for what we ARE. ex. I have lots of Money, so I am RICH or I HAVE an ability to play soccer better than 99% of the population, become admitted to a professional soccer league, so I AM a PROFESSIONAL soccer player.
Take a look at this because this is where a lot of my bad feelings and pain comes from. My inability to recognize this creates this horrible experience, where i doubt everything that i have as knowledge and feel bad about myself or guilty. To me this is when i feel depression the most.
peace to everyone.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: your right I do need professional help and I will seek it. I see life as overall a beautiful thing but don't feel worthy as a human now and don't see much of a point to keep striving on.
I have problems, obviously. It doesn't really matter about the details, lets just say I have lost my soulmate and have lost my best friend as well. I'm so depressed. I hurt so much. I don't know what to do.
I lost my girlfriend of 3 years, and two of my best friends a month or two ago. Now I'm as happy as ever, if not even more. Things have a way of turning themselves around.
-------------------- Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Justified Suicide? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8119514 - 03/08/08 11:32 AM (16 years, 24 days ago) |
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Thank you all for the kind words. I believe I will get through this and if I do I will learn from it and come out a better, stronger person in the end.
Suicide has been a reoccurring theme in my life and have vaguely acted on it in the past, I think more out of a cry for help than a to actually die. I didn't even know pain then though compared to now. I have family members and close ones who have carried out the act and have seen the pain it has brought their families and friends; I can't do that to the people I still have in my life.
I have a lot of things going for me. I must strive on and try to better myself. I'm feeling a little better today. Fuck it I don't need that stupid cunt bitch! Last week she says she wants to marry me now she just throws four years away for nothing. I'm glad I didn't marry that indecisive bitch. I'll find someone better for me.
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,295
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Well, you can justify anything, but that doesn't mean it really IS right.
I think there are situations where suicide can be the right thing to do.
But!
I don't think this is the case with you. I believe for you, it wouldn't be right.
Quote:
My life just seems to be falling apart
You are describing a situation that is running out of control. When such things happen, your moods and motivation will TEMPORARILY plummet. And indeed you yourself write:
Quote:
I'm in a low place right now.
Thats what it is, a temporary crisis. Once you hit rock bottom of a crisis, you can only go up from there. Even if the situation stays the same (which it rarely ever does) it will go better because your mind will adjust to the steady state.
Its not the being low, its the emotional freefall that turns your stomach in a knot.
You won't take a nosedive forever. Sooner or later (and probably sooner) you will hit rock bottom, and it can only get up from there.
I must ask you to seek professional help though. The risk of suicide calls for that.
Like in a bad trip, don't try to fight the negativity, it will just wear you out. Instead see this as a temporary setback from which you will recover. Get help, and remember that despair (justified or not) won't do you any good.
Often a crisis like this, if handled well, helps people to realign themselves and re-prioritize life.
The way you describe this, I have faith in that you probably will recover.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Quote:
Fuck it I don't need that stupid cunt bitch! Last week she says she wants to marry me now she just throws four years away for nothing.
So this was over a girl? Oh man, chill out! There are more fish in the sea.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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If she doesn't respect you then she isn't worth thinking about.
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Gumballs
Stranger
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 29
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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Suicide justified? I would think only if you had a terminal illness and were suffering.
You need to put yourself in everyone else's position first. People that love you, family.
People that entertain suicide get so wrapped up in themselves they forget about the people that love them and need them around.
Just think of the confusion, anguish, sadness that your family would have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Maybe blaming themselves.
I understand completely how life can be a bitch, everyone has the struggles daily. Your going to be fine. Stop dwelling alone, get out, be around happy and positive people. If someone is messing with your head time to cut ties and move on.
I was in a same positing years ago, but the conclusion I came to was that my suicide would be a very selfish act and only hurt the people I left behind, that loved me. I decided 100% against ever thinking about it again.
Cheers.
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mycould
Stranger
Registered: 01/22/08
Posts: 83
Loc: Somewhere over the Rainbo...
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: Justified Suicide? [Re: Gumballs]
#8121594 - 03/08/08 10:37 PM (16 years, 23 days ago) |
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i do know one thing though, bitches they come they go.
-------------------- Whether you believe you can or believe you cant, either way you're probably right.
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paulie_walnuts1
Stranger
Registered: 05/12/05
Posts: 508
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Not justified. Unless you've done awful things to people, like raped kids or something, then I'd say, sure, off yourself. Geez. Just start reading more. Read anything. Slow those thought processes and find some perspective. Keep going, sometimes the mind evolves and you start to understand why things are. Just learn to value your own existence.
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awesomebastard
Lost
Registered: 12/16/07
Posts: 4,891
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no this is ridiculous.
killing yourself because living in this society isnt for you man go be homeless or just deal with being poor or whatever this seems like a rather childish and selfish reason for suicide. who cares "my life is falling apart I fail" man grow up and take the bad with the good.
Everything is beutifull, and in my expeirence if you look past momentary selfishness you will see that you learn more in times of whoa than at any other point in life.
Dont kill your self.
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"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics." ~ C.J. Keyser Mr. Cypher said: "I just tell the girls how sexy I am and their panties melt."
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aDoS
freedom lover
Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 7,590
Loc: land of the free
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The only justified suicide imo is if you are terminally ill and you are in very bad pain. Not trying to be a dick, but the reasons you have for suicide is just being a coward.
-------------------- "If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Justified Suicide? [Re: aDoS]
#8123151 - 03/09/08 12:00 PM (16 years, 23 days ago) |
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Yeah I'm pretty much a weak bastard. This wasn't the only event but its the straw that broke my back. I broke down, how pathetic right? Once again I fail.
I'm not going to pursue it, not now at least.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Quote:
Once again I fail.
One thing that might help is losing the self importance. There is no failure...only trying until you get the desired result. The idea of failure is rooted in your need for pity from the self and others, and being so damned hung up on other people's opinions...pure self importance. Nothing weakens us so much as self importance.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Gumballs
Stranger
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 29
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Yeah I'm pretty much a weak bastard. This wasn't the only event but its the straw that broke my back. I broke down, how pathetic right? Once again I fail.
I'm not going to pursue it, not now at least.
I wouldn't look at it like that. You made a decision, making a decision isn't failing.
I would have to say you succeeded, but also have a pretty good grip on things, not to do something destructive to yourself and others.
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JoseLibrado
return
Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: Justified Suicide? [Re: Gumballs]
#8124770 - 03/09/08 07:40 PM (16 years, 23 days ago) |
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The truth is that mistakes, are an outcome of wanting to succeed and not having the things nessecary to get 'success'.
So dont hate the player, dont hate the game, change the game, by adding to the players abilities.
See the innosence of playing and its blunders, see the child dropping the ice cream cone and crying. Damn does it ever taste good, after the bad has gone away.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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JoseLibrado
return
Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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I would say self importance is inconsistent with 1=1, not because of self pity, but because of the fact that the 'self' is something other than itself. Ie. A successful self or person and a failure.
We attach meaning to the things that have been brough unto our lives, this is where self-importance is derived from.
But since 1=1, and self = self, saying that self= successful or failure, is like saying 1=2 or self= something other than self. which makes sense, if one has a perspective that allows it as the truth and nonsense for the same reasons.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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Ellis Dee
Archangel
Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
Loc: Fire in the sky
Last seen: 5 years, 14 days
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I just despise the whole mental health establishment. the only thing I got out of it was that I learned that you can never ask for help or tell anyone you're suicidal or they will lock you up in the hospital. If you need to get help you need to lie about being suicidal or they will lock you up, maybe for weeks.
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EternallyYours
Stranger
Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 3
Loc: CA, USA
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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I have had similar thoughts throughout my life, and have had a lot of very bad things happen to me, so I completely understand where you're coming from. The only thing is, if this girl just left you because she is stupid or whatever, you can still with time find someone else and be ok, or even very happy. If you or anyone is interested, here is my story, and I could use some insight as well.
My dad commited suicide almost 6 years ago, which completely crushed me. I was very close to him and didn't know what I would do without him. I even attempted suicide myself a few months later, but was unsuccessful. At that time, the thing that really kept me going was the idea that I would one day meet someone, fall in love, get married and have a family of my own. That was one of my biggest goals in life, and it really was what kept me going. And it actually happened. The day before the second anniversary of my dad's passing I met the most wonderful man. We met online and spent the next three days and nights talking on the phone almost nonstop. He really was the One for me. We were perfect for each other and we fell in love right away. Since we lived on opposite sides of the country seeing each other wasn't very easy, but after these three days he flew down to me and a month later we moved back to his house. We got married 5 months later. And had 2 kids in the 3 years that we have been married. I won't go into too many details, but here is what brings me here now. About a month ago I woke up to find my husband has passed. It was the day before his 35th birthday and was completely devastating. And now I really don't know what to do. I am back where I was after my father passed away, but I think it is even worse. Even though I have the two kids that I know I need to live for, I feel like I won't be able to keep going much longer. He was everything to me, we did everything together, made all decisions together and everything. We had soooo many plans for the future. And now everything is gone. Everyone tells me that I am still young, even his family and I guess they are implying that I will or I should try to find someone else or something. I don't even know how to say it here because I don't understand what they want from me. I really only loved him and always will. Even though he wasn't my first, I want him to be and he will be my last. I can't even imagine anyone else next to me, and I'm sure no matter how much time passes, this feeling will not change. I know the kids need me and everything, but I really feel like I have to go and be with him. I can't be here and do all these everyday things without him. I just can't. I have a list of some things that I have to do before I go, but otherwise I really want to end it all. Thinking about the fact that I don't have too much longer to suffer is the only thing that helps me keep going from day to day. I don't know if i'll be able to go longer than a year or so. The kids are still little, so I think they will be ok. They will forget about both of us and that's it. And they have a lot of family on both sides who can help raise them no worse than I could do, so it's not like they will end up with strangers or something. Even with the kids, I just don't see the reason to keep going without him, he was my EVERYTHING. What do I do?
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides
Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Although I've had a few attempts to suicide back in the past, right now, it seems to me that the the only thing that should cause one to consider it is if a terminal and painful disease is present.
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