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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 18 hours
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Unresolved karma
#8064952 - 02/24/08 03:39 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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There is a girl who I have thought for quite a while that I am in love with, and I still think about her all the time. We saw each other for awhile over the summer and then she just abruptly stopped answering my calls and messages. I could think of a number of reasons why but I never found out the actual reason - all of the reasons I could think of were things that could have been resolved through conversation, but she just did not seem to want to talk to me any more.
Now I realize that my thoughts about her have been creating a lot of suffering as they arouse my suspicious, jealous, self-critical side - not her fault, but a problem of my own projections (thought it would definitely help if she would let me know where she stands right now). So maybe it would be best for me to completely let go of my attachment to her. Yet because of many synchronicities I feel strongly attached to the idea that we have a future together and that I am capable of being a great partner.
This is something I do not think will be resolved easily, because I have extremely powerful emotions attached to this whole situation. On one hand I think I should try to talk to her but I am nervous as hell, as I have already reintroduced myself into her life a number of times after thinking our relationship was over, and part of me thinks it's best to just stay away completely and let these emotions die with time...but then I know if I see her again it will all coming flooding back anyway, in all likelihood.
What do you think? Have you had similar experiences?
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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xFrockx



Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 10,455
Loc: Northeast
Last seen: 11 days, 14 hours
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8064967 - 02/24/08 03:44 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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When a girl abruptly stops taking to you, there is about a 95% chance that she is cheating on you or looking to. Move on, she obviously did.
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appleorange
Rainbow Technician



Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8064970 - 02/24/08 03:45 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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If she wants anything to do with you, she will get in touch with you.
You need to let go of her and focus on yourself for right now.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 18 hours
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: xFrockx]
#8064975 - 02/24/08 03:47 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I see what you're saying, but I don't think that's the case. Anyway, I would not have considered it cheating as we weren't formally together. And I don't think it's in her character to stop talking to me in the way she did unless she was really angry at me. Actually, one of the possible reasons for her not talking to me was because of a false rumor that I was hooking up with someone else.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8064999 - 02/24/08 03:52 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Get another girl friend and you'll forget all about this one.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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appleorange
Rainbow Technician



Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8065004 - 02/24/08 03:54 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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If you are going to want a good answer here, then you need to list all the extinuating circumstances.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 18 hours
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I know you're right, it's just a matter of accepting that. And ignoring all those synchronicities.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8065087 - 02/24/08 04:20 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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You don't need to want someone who don't want you. That is just needless suffering. Drop her.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
Drop her.
Like in the opening scene of 'Cliffhanger'?
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Unresolved karma [Re: Lion]
#8067680 - 02/25/08 05:36 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well you seem to have spent much time thinking and creating an image about her, without actually interacting so much with her. In situations like these it is very possible that this image that you have created in your mind, doesn't correspond with who she actually is. Melancholy makes us see things very distorted.  Maybe ask yourself how much of this are actual feelings for her, and how much it is only wishful thinking?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: Get another girl friend and you'll forget all about this one.
Best advice. Even if you don't like it now you will eventually use it.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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