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Anonymous #1
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stupid.
#8036900 - 02/18/08 07:46 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Sometimes when he gets pissy he starts yelling and screaming and making grunting noises and just generally throwing a tantrum. Very loud and distruptive and I don't know...angry and negative and childish. ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY. He's always so damn angry and it makes me angry. Sometimes I hate him, but I have to check myself and realize that I don't hate him; I hate his stupid attitude all the time. He's always freaking out about something and yet he says I'm the one who always freaks out. Push your shadow much? But I tend to freak out when he freaks out because I can't stand his attitude and the way he blows everything out of proportion.
Just now we had a fight which ended with me calling him as asshole and him getting even more angry, slamming the door. He was angry because he left his shampoo out in the living room, and the dog chewed up a little corner of the bottle and some leaked out. There was still some left in the bottle but you would've thought that the Apocolypse had arrived. He blew a gasket and started RANTING like he ALWAYS does, and then started in on me, and I called him an asshole, which pissed him off and then he left in a huge rage.
I just hate this situation more everyday. He's not always an asshole. He just acts like one more often these days. I just had to get this off my chest. The anonymous forum seems like the only place for me these days.
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Anonymous #1
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And everytime he's late for work, it's MY fault, SOMEHOW, even though he hits the snooze buttom repeatedly. 
I just hate this. I fucking hate this situation. At this rate I'm going to need to move out by summer.
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Anonymous #2
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The spring on the hill?
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Anonymous #3
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Hold down your job, and all will be right in the world.
It's just a phase.
Also, while you get angry because he's angry, that's still your choice. Unfortunately, an excuse for our emotional states can never be found in someone else.
Imagine if you simply didn't care, and refused to become a part of his tirade. Imagine how he'd just have to sit and stew in his own anger if you didn't absorb it.
Go in the other room, and shut the door. If you feel like you have to protect the dog from him, take the dog in there too.
Keep calm. Choose rational. Don't allow the energy to infect you with this same frustrated anger. If his subconscious cannot get a rise out of your subconscious, it will learn not to try anymore.
Be stillness in the face of adversity.
Be courage in the face of fear's storm.
Just be.
His offenses cannot reach that place.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks. I was additionally upset because after he slammed the door he didn't make sure it was closed so it flew open and my dog escaped and I had to chase it in the pouring rain.
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Anonymous #2
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I've had to chase my pits in the rain once, pits are stubborn and don't come when you call them unless you have food for them, sorry things aren't working out for you now but I hope things get better:) I know things will get better.
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Anonymous #3
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Lameness.
Enjoy the time alone. 
Also, consider your circumstances. You don't have to deal with it much longer if you play your cards right..
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Anonymous #1
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He just called ME inconsiderate in a PM.
I honestly don't think I want to put up with this anymore. It's too stressful. I think I'm going to seek out a shelter. Maybe I can find one next to where my job is, you never know.
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Anonymous #3
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Cool.
Can you handle the transition financially?
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Lameness.
WTF, who you talkin to?
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Anonymous #3
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: Lameness.
WTF, who you talkin to?
I was addressing the O.P. in regards to having to chase the dog in the rain due to door being left open.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Lameness.
Enjoy the time alone. 
Also, consider your circumstances. You don't have to deal with it much longer if you play your cards right..
I don't enjoy time alone right now. I feel very high strung and likely to do something really dumb in order to calm my nerves. Just trying to stay calm but I feel like I can't trust anything right now. Like how I do I know what is really happening, here? How do I know I'm not the inconsiderate psycho in the relationship just like he always says, you know?
I am not functioning within optimal perimeters.
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Anonymous #1
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I'm crashing. There's no feather pillow as I hit the ground either. Thanks for trying everyone. Guess I just wasn't psychologically prepared for this one.
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Anonymous #4
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sounds like a chick I know
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Anonymous #1
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This is the OP: this entire thread was stupid. hence the title.
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous said: sounds like every chick I've ever known
Corrected
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Anonymous #1
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Well, I'm calm now.
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Anonymous #5
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I've got a man like that. It is hard not to absorb that and not get pissed too. I think it's because we know we didn't do anything wrong, why the hell are we getting yelled at?
Really the best is to not react, then they will feel foolish after they calm down. But since we're not perfect, sometimes we act irrational as well. I do the "get up and walk into another room and close the door" thing when I can. They still rant and rave, just all by themselves. Tune them out. Kind of what you do with a toddler when they are having a temper tantrum.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you, solid advice. It feels good to hear from the other women who might have been in this situation.
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Anonymous #4
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When me and my girlfriend get into arguments I stay as calm as possible and make her look like the juvenile jackass that she is acting like.
She'll sit there and spin the argument round and round while screaming at the top of her lungs while I just sit there calm. She doesn't know how to have a civilized conversation about making things better, in fact she creates fights by asking questions like "what can I do to make things better?". If I so much as say anything then suddenly I'm the bad guy and to top it off if I choose to say nothing at all the same scenario ensues because I don't want to talk about it just to avoid a fight.
She doesn't do shit around the house. She'll wash one plate and one fork just so she can eat even though she messed up the whole fucking kitchen.
She once pushed me and once threw a can at me just because she was embarrassed to admit she was wrong.
I keep my hands and voice down because I know where that can lead.
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