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OfflineDrewwyann
Slayer of ticks
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Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
recent realization of mine...
    #8034829 - 02/17/08 01:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I got to thinking about my life, and how I live it. How things recently have been pretty terrible for me.

My girlfriend doesn't love me anymore, but I still love her. We've had plenty of phases like this before, but never at this magnitude. I am very much convinced that our relationship will not pick up again like the previous times.

So i started to think to myself "what if I could get rid of the desire for a romantic relationship with some one?" Would that not solve the problem?

Everywhere I look, relationships bog people down. This emotion called love turns people with potential into something with only one purpose; the other person.

People want to travel before they get tied down in a relationship. They want to go places and see the world. Then they fall in love, and they forget all of those things.

I think my life would be a lot more fulfilling if I could get this notion that I need a significant other to fulfill myself. I would find myself more.

I just want some input here. Do you think this would be a healthy thing to do? And as for letting the girl I love go, what are your thoughts on that?


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Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931

Love powerfully :peace::heart::peace:


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Offlinesmily
lookin 4 my ass wit both handz
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/13/06
Posts: 2,592
Loc: Lee HO FooKs
Last seen: 9 months, 3 days
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8034848 - 02/17/08 02:04 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

id let her go and hook up for real, wife and i been togher 18 years traveled everywhere, camp, party, fish, trip, we do it all if ya find the right woman you wont be TIED DOWN.

IMO

:smile:


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    CrAnKy PiLlOwS YeAh PiLlOwS


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OfflineDrewwyann
Slayer of ticks
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Registered: 10/30/06
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: smily]
    #8034888 - 02/17/08 02:18 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

But do you think I should try to stop being in love with this girl? I've had so much debate over it. Because if I love her, I love her, and that should be followed right? But if she doesn't love me...

I suppose you're right with the not having to be tied down thing as well.

Everything I can think of has a counterpoint that's equally as strong though.

If I remove the desire for a relationship, then I won't be hurt by a girl again (not romantically at least). But then again, life was never meant to be easy, and I need to learn how to deal with things. It's almost like quitting if I learn to remove the desire for a relationship.

And should I continue to chase her? I love her, and love should be followed, but she doens't love me. I can't figure this out.


--------------------


Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931

Love powerfully :peace::heart::peace:


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OfflineKombat Frank
GREAT JOB!
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Registered: 02/15/08
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8034911 - 02/17/08 02:24 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

id say find a chick with the same desires and goals that you have

that way you can have both at the same time

also question yourself, do you actually really love her? or is it some other feeling that you translate into "love"


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ego tripping at the gates of hell


Edited by Kombat Frank (02/17/08 02:25 PM)


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Invisibleappleorange
Rainbow Technician
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Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8034915 - 02/17/08 02:24 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

well, I don't think everything is this black & white.

i do think you let your girl go if you no longer think she loves you. seems silly to hang on especially considering the problems you guys had in the past.

traveling & relationships do not have to be seperate though. if I were in your shoes, I would probably dump her and go travel.


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OfflineDrewwyann
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Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Kombat Frank]
    #8034920 - 02/17/08 02:25 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Thats how my relationship with this girl started out. Now out views on everything conflict, and we are polar opposites. We used to embrace the fact that we were opposites, but now I guess she doesn't think it is working.

I guess i need to find some one who is more grounded in who they are sometime later in life. Letting go sucks :sad:


--------------------


Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931

Love powerfully :peace::heart::peace:


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Offlinesmily
lookin 4 my ass wit both handz
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/13/06
Posts: 2,592
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Kombat Frank]
    #8034929 - 02/17/08 02:28 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

if she doesn't LOVE ya is she by chance and NO OFFENSE is she using you???

its time to GO FISH......if she doesn't love ya it wont happen or will continue like things are and you'd be miserable anyway.

if your young jump and go date I'm olde its more hard now i would think and would not ever wanna have to date again.

:smile:


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    CrAnKy PiLlOwS YeAh PiLlOwS


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OfflineDrewwyann
Slayer of ticks
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Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: smily]
    #8034940 - 02/17/08 02:30 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Well, she was very depressed when we started dating, and now she said to me recently "I can finally stand on my own two feet for the first time I can remember", with a tone that made me think that she was hinting that she didn't need me anymore. So I feel like her love for me was sort of 'crutch-love'.


--------------------


Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931

Love powerfully :peace::heart::peace:


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Invisibleappleorange
Rainbow Technician
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Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8034993 - 02/17/08 02:44 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

it sounds like she used ya man :sad:

you definitely need to move on.


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OfflineAsAboveSoBelow
The matrix has you

Registered: 02/06/08
Posts: 2,515
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: appleorange]
    #8035203 - 02/17/08 03:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Love is an emotion of not wanting to let go of something:the fear of losing something you covet. If its not reciprocal between the two of you, you're shooting yourself in the foot.


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You're gonna get hurt real bad :smile:

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8035213 - 02/17/08 03:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I totally hear you. I enjoy having a loving relationship with myself best.


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OfflineJonnyOneNut
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Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 303
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: MOTH]
    #8035710 - 02/17/08 10:01 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I'm kind of brain-dead, but here's what I got..

When you're looking for advice do this.. Pretend that your best friend were in the same situation you are. What if he came to you with the question that you are asking? Whatever advice you would give him is what you should do..


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:regularshroom:BABY BOTTLE LC TEK:regularshroom:
Fix it or accept it, but do not stress about it.


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OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
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Registered: 10/31/07
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: JonnyOneNut]
    #8036389 - 02/18/08 01:14 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Let the beezy go mang.  :macdre: says so. true story!


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool

Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8036481 - 02/18/08 02:07 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Hey bro Im going through the exact same thing you are. This shit is hard, my girlfriend cheated on me. And I am actually glad she did. Ive been so tied down in our relationship, that she has been a block in myself. I still love her, but now I am free. I am now discovering that the whole point of a relationship is to love the other girl. If you love the girl fucking love her. Dont suppress that. But also you have to have to balls to live your life and be free. Love her for who she is, but if she tries to tie you down from your heart. She is not right for you. Travel dude, do what you want. Dont cut off the girl. People will tell you, ah the girl doesnt love you, dont love her back. Shes a ho. No dude love her anyway, but also give your love to many other women. If you feel like you are stuck, GET OUT. Free yourself, doesnt mean you shouldnt stop loving her.
That is ultimate, can you ultimate yourself? Thats the question.
Women will fuck with your head.

Meditate, find truth, its the only thing you CAN do.

Good luck my friend.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool

Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: AsAboveSoBelow]
    #8036522 - 02/18/08 02:27 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

AsAboveSoBelow said:
Love is an emotion of not wanting to let go of something:the fear of losing something you covet. If its not reciprocal between the two of you, you're shooting yourself in the foot.



No that is what you call "neediness". Or attachment. Whatever.

Many people are not even capable to understand what love really is.

Love is the source of the human. Of creation.


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Invisiblemushbaby
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Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
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Re: recent realization of mine... [Re: Drewwyann]
    #8036777 - 02/18/08 06:28 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

In my experience, it's not as easy as just deciding you don't love someone anymore. You can decide it's not healthy for y'all to be together and move on. But you don't just flip a switch and bam, the love is gone.

You can still love her and move on. In fact it sounds like that might have to be what you do. Be okay with the fact that she is stronger than when she met you. You helped her! That's a good thing.

I completely understand about choosing to stay removed from relationships for awhile. I have already decided if (when) I become single again that I am finally strong enough to do it solo for awhile.


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