|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
|
|
Quote:
OneMoreRobot3021 said: Who you gonna be? The you you want to be, the you you feel you really are, or the person everybody's used to? It's hard being who you are sometimes, when other people expect certain things from you. But if they are really, truly your FRIENDS...they'll love you. Just be yourself. Do whatever feels right. Don't ever compromise your essence for the expectations of others. Ever.
You are a wise man. I hope to meet you at NE gathering if I can make it.
I have been goin through similar shit and you just made more sense than I have ever been able to.
|
SurReality
PsychAdemic
Registered: 12/21/06
Posts: 11,808
Loc: Colorado, USA
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
|
|
this is something everyone must experience in an interesting happy ALWAYS CHANGING LIFE. Realizing that you're losing relationships can be very lonesome, but all relationships are built around some mutual interest... in 1st grade you socialize with your gender, because at such a younge age theres not much you can relate to but gender and naivity(sp?). So in highschool you find a hobby, sport, or HABIT... I (semi-regretfully) based my friendships around my habit. Im sure many can relate to this riged shady path here... so now i've been getting very bored, and unsatisfied with getting high as my priority number one. I'm trying to manage my habits so they don't get in the way of whats important, so now I've realized i can't keep my stoner buddies around me if I'm trying to take getting high off my priorities. this sorta sucks, but there really is no other way to socialize with someone you always smoke with other than smoking so now im sorta just an anti-social, and i really find it difficult to make a friend who i am interested in. I, finally after 18 years of life lessons, realize how important it is to select friends that you are truly interested in. Because if your with your friends alot, you will be influenced by how they socialize. So now I'm sorta dumping my friends who just care about their next high, and hoping to find people with dreams, goals, and aspirations to discuss rather than their new fat hook-up. This has been sorta of a lonely time, although its not like i just ignore my old friends - i do blaze it with em occasionally, but no more cutting class to burn or searching all day for a bag whats great is that no is really hurt about it at all, so i've realized its more of a 'misery loves company' companionship to stay high but the less heads the more high...
so whether your friends are slipping from you, or you from your friends. Take a look at the mutual interest in the relationship, maybe you will find its for the better and learn to recognize the potential interest in your future friendships. I feel once i learn to filter friends in that i'm interested in, i won't ever be bored as long as i'm socializing with them. (but at times i feel like my filter is clogged or defective when i just can't find the right words in my mind to throw out to snag a good friend)
eh i've been up for about 40 hrs, I hope this doesnt seem like a rant... fuck its still the tweekend
-------------------- ProDOPEFiend Diary: (my public diary) PodCast
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8008475 - 02/11/08 11:47 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: I love my friends.
Then reach out to them. That's love. Don't leave it up to everyone else. Call them even if you don't feel comfortable with it. Do things for them. There is nothing more powerful than an unexpected act of love or thoughtfulness.
Engaging small talk is not that bad, and it has great benefits. Deep and meaningful social interaction can only happen once people warm up to each other a bit. Sometimes it takes the form of inane banter... so what? Don't resent this entry-level chatter; not every conversation can be poignant. It is more important to keep your friends close than to take a stand against silly social customs.
If you don't reach out to people in your life, you will lose them all.
To love is to act, not to feel.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
RonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#8010765 - 02/11/08 08:29 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
You're not alone broham. I pretty much have no friends anymore. I stopped answering my calls. Most of my "true" friends are off to college. Tripping in my opinion has changed me for the better. I feel like I see reality without the "filter" everyone else seems to have leading me to not be able to relate to most people. I feel like most relationships are completely superficial and are for the most part(except for family & true friends) just there in an evolutionary sense to jerk off your ego and reafirm the illusion of this "reality". yadda mean? Then again..I've always kind of been a loner..maybe this is just what I am and I should get used to it..It's not so bad mang
--------------------
|
pong
kretan
Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
|
|
Quote:
BrainChemistry said: Ever since I tripped for the first time, I started thinking about myself and my relationships more. It definitely made me feel more socially awkward.
anybody else feel less socially awkward from tripping. i have never been thinking more about my relation to the rest of the world and i have never been less awkward. just because you feel awkward doesn't mean you are, and some people who dont think they are really are unbearable. keep thinking man about your relations and i suspect you will find some answers and become 100% confident.
--------------------
|
Rustifer
prestige worldwide
Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
|
|
people change I don't hang out with any of the people I hung out with in high school, and broke up with my girlfriend from that era too.
I tried sticking to all of those people for too long and it made me very unhappy.
|
Cubie
Moderator
Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 8,840
Loc: Down the rabbit hole...
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: Rustifer]
#8012201 - 02/12/08 06:46 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
After I started tripping I cared less about the rest of the world and started looking inward to my self.
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: pong] 1
#8012216 - 02/12/08 06:53 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pong said:
anybody else feel less socially awkward from tripping. i have never been thinking more about my relation to the rest of the world and i have never been less awkward.
Me too. Tripping always renews my compassion for everybody else. If psychedelic use made me more and more alienated from everyone else, I'd stop using them.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#8012264 - 02/12/08 07:26 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Tripping definitely eases social anxiety for me.
|
mentalIMAGE
21st Century Schizoid Man
Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 836
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: MOTH]
#8012583 - 02/12/08 09:42 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I feel what you mean, regarding friendships and whatnot.
I find that the friendships I have right now are incredibly special, and going somewhere good. We each have our own indiviual dreams, such as finishing school, finding a career path we could enjoy, but also we have a "group" goal, and I find that this is really what solidifies our friendships. It's not always about getting stoned, however when we do get stoned we come up with some great, fun, positive plans and ideas.
For instance, we all decided we were going to save our money for the summer, buy a van or two, and take a road trip to B.C. or something. We all love being outside and seeing new places, so we figured this would be a great way to really potentiate our own individual dreams and desires, and would also be a great experience to open us up.
The plans have been laid out and we're already saving.
I highly suggest that, if you do find some friends who will accept you for who you are, to develop something, whether it be an idea to travel or even just go on a psychedelic camping trip outside the city. All these experiences are great for bonding.
May your path be lit for as long as you walk.
-------------------- We are always acting on what has just finished happening. It happened at least 1/30th of a second ago. We think we're in the present, but we aren't. The present we know is only a movie of the past. Ken Kesey
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
|
Re: Growing apart from friends [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8017662 - 02/13/08 01:26 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I do not think you should chase your lost ties.
Same thing has happened with me for similar reasons. - Breaking up with girlfriend of near 3 years because we have different interests and very few things to share aside from coffee shops, thriftstores, innane gossip or movie watching.
Plus my goroup of friends are all moving in a totally different direction than i want for myself. Some are popping out kids, others are struggling to manage their lives, and yet others just want to leach off their parents..
Really, the details are unimportant - What im saying is... I've been unhappy with my social group and relationship for quite some time, and since i've chosen to break away - I have never felt so good (in my adult life.)
Accordingly, ive bought myself the freedom to dart off to South America soon and im hoping to begin a whole new chapter of my life filled with intention, direction, healthy ways and meaningful relationships.
Why back track - Move Forward!
(didn't read whole thread, just the first post.)
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
|
kake
The answer to1984 is 1776.
Registered: 05/06/99
Posts: 2,782
Loc: The 66th harmonic
|
|
Quote:
OneMoreRobot3021 said: Who you gonna be? The you you want to be, the you you feel you really are, or the person everybody's used to? It's hard being who you are sometimes, when other people expect certain things from you. But if they are really, truly your FRIENDS...they'll love you. Just be yourself. Do whatever feels right. Don't ever compromise your essence for the expectations of others. Ever.
i dedicate this to the ops of irc
-------------------- The answer to 1984 is 1776.
|
|