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InvisibleInnominate
Male

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,136
Colon Purge
    #8013511 - 02/12/08 03:17 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Alright so here's the deal. I ate some really spicy food today, the kind with the crushed red peppers and all. I LOVE spicy food, but I make an effort to not eat it on days where I have to wake up early the next mourning and I don't have time to shit my brains out for an hour. Tomorrow is one of those days where I don't have the time, and I don't want to have to go into school and shit my brains out there, so I was thinking about getting something today that will make me shit my brains out so tomorrow I won't have that problem. Get it? So what I need to know how is what are good cheap effective ways of going about doing this? What is the best colon cleanser type thing? How long do they usually take to work? I want to go and get whatever I need and do this within the next few hours. Thanks.


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Offline0xYg3n
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8013516 - 02/12/08 03:18 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

haven't you ever heard of a laxative?


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InvisibleInnominate
Male

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,136
Re: Colon Purge [Re: 0xYg3n]
    #8013553 - 02/12/08 03:29 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

A Laxative?!?!? Noooooo, never heard of such a thing :rolleyes:

No shit sherlock, yes I've heard of a laxative. What I'm asking is what are some good, preferably all natural ones, and how long to they take to work.


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Offlinestefan
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8013572 - 02/12/08 03:32 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

how about some strong coffee


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: stefan]
    #8013591 - 02/12/08 03:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

isn't coffee an acid? I would suggest prune juice, however nomatter what you use, their is a chance the laxitive will still be in effect tomorrow

you could do an enema, but crimmny i wouldn't use one just so i don't have to open the bear trap at school


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8013606 - 02/12/08 03:40 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

colon purge?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

That outta do it.


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We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Offlinestefan
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #8015801 - 02/12/08 11:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

isn't coffee an acid?



dunno, but it makes me shit in the morning :shrug:


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
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Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8015825 - 02/13/08 12:06 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Innominate said:
A Laxative?!?!? Noooooo, never heard of such a thing :rolleyes:

No shit sherlock, yes I've heard of a laxative. What I'm asking is what are some good, preferably all natural ones, and how long to they take to work.




A large glass of salt water. Give it an hour and be ready for it when it comes.


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Offlinehazey
Male


Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 2,277
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8015893 - 02/13/08 12:21 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

anal sex prep? i used to know a chick who liked anal and one day i found all these laxatives and lubricants in the same drawer. i hope you're telling the truth man.


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Offlinemilkman
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: hazey]
    #8016530 - 02/13/08 08:00 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

stick the end of the vacuum hose in your ass and turn it on make sure to keep it moist with some kinda lubricant(if you want natural lube then spit in it)


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OfflineDragonChaser
Ice in Her Ass and Pussy
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: hazey]
    #8016590 - 02/13/08 08:26 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

hazey said:
anal sex prep? i used to know a chick who liked anal and one day i found all these laxatives and lubricants in the same drawer. i hope you're telling the truth man.




Thats what I thought of when I saw the topic "Colon Purge". I'm raising the BS flag on this one.


--------------------
My name is Mud


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OfflineColbadol
Reality Mechanic
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8016602 - 02/13/08 08:32 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

tryin to lose those last few pounds eh?

anyway, i agree with whats already been said. Drink a lot of coffee and then eat a big meal.  Or just find a bathroom at school in a very quiet part of the building...one where no one goes. And then lay it to waste.  :headbanger:


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Invisiblememes
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Posts: 27,785
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Colbadol]
    #8016618 - 02/13/08 08:37 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

i had similar problems in highschool. always having to take giant dumps but never being able to do so in the bathrooms (socially unacceptable).

Just go into a faculty restroom (usually single toilets) and drop the bomb there. If nobody catches you - you're good to go. If someone does, just explain that you were on your way to the public bathroom and caught the SUDDEN URGE that needed to be fixed immediately. One whif of the restroom you just bombed and they'll let you go.

Yes, i've done it and yes it works every time (as long as you lie correctly)


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OfflineColbadol
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: memes]
    #8016643 - 02/13/08 08:48 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

contrary to popular belief, all humans poop. Yes, even girls. *shudder*
most people are understanding enough. Ive walked in, seen someone in the stall and just walked out tons of times.


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InvisibleIrradiated_Feces
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Posts: 4,278
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Colbadol]
    #8016672 - 02/13/08 09:03 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

girls don't poop you big liar. why do you lie.


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InvisibleIrradiated_Feces
doomedgeneration
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Irradiated_Feces]
    #8016673 - 02/13/08 09:04 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

btw i loves the nekid bikes


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OfflineDragonChaser
Ice in Her Ass and Pussy
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: memes]
    #8016687 - 02/13/08 09:13 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

meams said:
i had similar problems in highschool. always having to take giant dumps but never being able to do so in the bathrooms (socially unacceptable).





Thats so funny how its socially unacceptable to shit in high school. And no Colbadol, not everyone poops. Girls are biologically incapable of it, there were even articles in Scientific American and Discover recently on the topic.


--------------------
My name is Mud


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Offlineimpgl
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Registered: 02/07/06
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: DragonChaser]
    #8016740 - 02/13/08 09:30 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

enema and a cigarette


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omg really?


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OfflineHer0
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Registered: 11/06/07
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: impgl]
    #8016887 - 02/13/08 10:04 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

u can get a natural laxative tea at a health food store


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OfflineDragonChaser
Ice in Her Ass and Pussy
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Her0]
    #8017257 - 02/13/08 11:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

"Smooth Move Herbal Laxative Tea". Tastes great, about 8 hours later you'll lose any and all material from your stomach to your sphincter.


--------------------
My name is Mud


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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: stefan]
    #8017560 - 02/13/08 01:09 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

stefan said:
how about some strong coffee




--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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Invisiblealphabeatu
Sire
Male
Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8018192 - 02/13/08 03:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

i just ordered some bovine colostrum and it recomends a colon purge during the first day or two

metamucil is the natural way to go,its made from orange pithe


--------------------



i need names and addresses of narc members

pm for details


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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: alphabeatu]
    #8018319 - 02/13/08 04:16 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Coffee is made from...Well..Coffee.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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Invisiblealphabeatu
Sire
Male
Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
Re: Colon Purge [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #8019416 - 02/13/08 08:19 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

tell me something i dont know


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i need names and addresses of narc members

pm for details


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InvisibleInnominate
Male

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,136
Re: Colon Purge [Re: alphabeatu]
    #8020072 - 02/13/08 10:23 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

some of y'all have the wrong idea. I've been with my girl for 3 years now, I'm definitely not into some homo shit, so anal sex is out of the question. Second, I'm not in highschool. The reason why I didn't want to have to take a huge shit at school was because I didn't want to walk out of class to take a 30 min runny ass shit, not only do I feel uncomfortable afterwards but I can't really be missing 30 min out of a 50 min class.

I went the magnesium citrate route, which is a saline laxative. I took a HUGE shit last night, another one this mourning, and I STILL had to fucking take another one in school, so all in all the end result was the same.

But anal sex? gtfo :what:


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InvisibleBrain Fart
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Registered: 12/19/07
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: DragonChaser]
    #8020171 - 02/13/08 10:40 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Easy.

Magnesium tablets. My mother uses them as she is almost always constipated. Helps it come out alot easier, yet won't shoot you off the toilet w/ pressure.

Mix with pomegranite or prune juice and your golden.

Total cost of supplies = approx 10$ and it will last a week or two.

Pills found at walgreens or walmart in the dietary section

Juice in the juice isle,:D

Edit: Didnt read the above post..lol, that's where pomegranite juice c0mes in tho..give er a try.


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Edited by Brain Fart (02/13/08 10:42 PM)


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Offlineimpgl
CrimethINCspecial agent
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Registered: 02/07/06
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Re: Colon Purge [Re: Brain Fart]
    #8027665 - 02/15/08 02:44 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

whats wrong with a little poop chute love?


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omg really?


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: Colon Purge [Re: Innominate]
    #8027745 - 02/15/08 03:12 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

what you need is hella fiber man


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