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Offlinerobbyberto
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Registered: 05/11/06
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So an old friend of mine died
    #8002590 - 02/09/08 09:27 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I used to be really good friends with this kid. We hadn't hung out for a few years, but I was friends with him for a very long time. Probably about 7 or 8 years. He overdosed on heroin on December 16, 2007. He was 18. Everyone I grew up with is a complete loser. I'm having a hard time keeping it together, but I'm at a nice university. I can make it. The other kids didn't even graduate from high school. I really can't get this kids death out of my head. I think about him all the time. It's just crazy. I just keep thinking about things I did with this kid. Child hood memories. Playing games at the pool, selling snow cones, playing on the trampoline, playing n64. I can't imagine what his parents are going through. They found him after quite a few hours. He was blue and in rigor mortis. His parents were so nice. My god, I can't even think about it. I wanted to go to his funeral, but I couldn't. Maybe I'm selfish, but I just couldn't. I went to his grave, but the headstone wasn't ready. I couldn't even find it. I'm sorry, I know this post was pretty nonsensical. I just needed to type this all out. How can I stop thinking about this? Will I stop thinking about it? Please give me some advice. It's so sad. This kid could have made it. He was smart. The other ones were fucking losers. He wasn't. Rest in peace, Adam.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



Edited by robbyberto (02/09/08 09:51 PM)


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OfflinePilzeEssen


Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 7,312
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: robbyberto]
    #8002681 - 02/09/08 09:45 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

a friend of mine died on in a motorcycle accident january 28 of this year. he was 23. we werent the best of friends. at first the guy hated me for no reason, and we got in physical fights. over time, he came around and realized i wasnt a threat, and that im a nice guy. the last time i remember talking to him, he had followed me home (we lived down the street from each other at the time) on his bike. he wanted to show me the new paint job he just got on the gas tank. he told me to come down to his house and smoke a blunt with him. i regret not doing that.

a few days before he died, he found out that he has a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. didnt know anything about her. the night he died, he got her name tattood on his arm. i went to his funeral service with a friend of mine who was closer to him than i was. it was open casket. my first time seeing a dead body. not just a dead body, but someone i KNEW. lying there dead. he didnt even look like himself, he looked fake. plastic.

im sorry to hear about your friend. its hard, i know. i know the thoughts going on in ur mind. at least i think i do.

hang in there. its all you can do.


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"The soul has greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live."

If you want to get a hold of me, my email address is in my profile. Just click on my screen name. I got banned from using private messages cause I didn't follow the rules... :frown:


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Offlinerobbyberto
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Registered: 05/11/06
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Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: PilzeEssen]
    #8002709 - 02/09/08 09:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I just want to stop thinking about it. I want to make my peace with it and with his family. Thinking about it all the time isn't healthy.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



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Offlineart
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Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 331
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: robbyberto]
    #8002774 - 02/09/08 09:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Just give it time. I don't think you will ever completely get over it, but it will get easier as time goes on. I wouldn't worry about thinking to much about it, it sucks but the only thing you can do is let time take its course...hang in there.

Joining a big brother program or something is another thing to think about. Create some positive out of his death by helping another kid.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: robbyberto]
    #8003089 - 02/09/08 11:10 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Hey...I lost a close friend to a heroin OD on New Years, just recently.  (well, last month, but it still feels very fresh)

Give yourself space to grieve, be angry.  Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that pops up.  Heroin ODs seem to be so senseless and dumb.  All I can recommend is that you remember this person with love and honor them with every moment of your being, simply by existing and achieving your dreams. 

The death will grow sweeter with time, not as wrenching. 

:heart: take care.


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OfflineDobie
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Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,841
Loc: ON DA BLOCK Flag
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Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: MOTH]
    #8003555 - 02/10/08 02:53 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Alot of people are dieing of heroin lately. I lost my best fucking friend two saturdays ago, I am having a really fucking hard time dealing with it too bro. I went to his funeral and I could barely look at him, I felt like I was gonna faint. I tried to talk to him tell him I love him and I will see him when ever I get to where he is at, But my mouth just wouldn't work. If ya wanna talk bro feel free to pm me, They time heals all wounds well I guess we will see if its true.


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This place is gayer than when the balls touch


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: robbyberto]
    #8003879 - 02/10/08 08:41 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

He didn't make it, but you did. Keep on going, and drop the self pity. It only gets in the way of your success.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Offlinerobbyberto
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Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 15,499
Loc: Netherlands Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #8004000 - 02/10/08 09:39 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for the replies. Self pity is part of this too. As much as I don't want it to be, it is. I'll stop thinking about this when I can.


--------------------
“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: robbyberto]
    #8004022 - 02/10/08 09:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

As cold as it may seem, your whole experience is only about yourself and your reaction to the reality that you create. By interjecting self defeating thoughts and emotions you limit your own experience.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Offlinerobbyberto
Water Boy
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Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 15,499
Loc: Netherlands Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: So an old friend of mine died [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #8004028 - 02/10/08 09:53 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks, sunshine.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



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