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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Allowing ourselves to be happy
#7992426 - 02/07/08 04:05 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Seems to be a question that keeps repeating in my head. How much do we allow (and in the same time restrict) ourselves to do that? It becomes more clear to me that we're the only ones to make this decision, a realization that becomes more clear with each event. Looking back, I can find countless situations in which I was unhappy solely because I thought I was not supposed to feel joy, sometimes even against my obvious impulse to smile. Just because some social norms were telling me that a certain situation requires a particular reaction of me. Because others were behaving in that way and I felt obliged to do the same. Or because I felt I didn't deserve to feel happy. Or simply because of the inertia. I can even recall many situations in which I was behaving sad and I didn't even know why. I found it easy to get back to feeling good. Easier than all the adjustments and mental castrations I had to do in order to imprint to myself a feeling of negativity. 
So I was just wondering how much do others allow themselves to be happy?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Chronic7

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7992470 - 02/07/08 04:16 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Pure Acceptance, Pure Awareness, realising everything is forever changing and impermanent, so no matter how happy or sad, it will change.
For me personally the faith in karma and interconnected cosmic consciousness allows you to have more control over your destiny, whether it be emotional or physical destiny.
Youve realised you have control, now TAKE control!
Plant pure karmic seeds and you shall reap that purity, eg meditation on compassion for all, brings compassion to all, including you.
A good example of what you say is when people tell me someone has died i have a natural response to smile, yet i feel i have to hide this.
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Edited by Chronic7 (02/07/08 04:19 PM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Posts: 95,368
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7995463 - 02/08/08 09:39 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Cultural programs run deep and are difficult to overcome. Happiness is not a high priority cultural value it seems.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7995497 - 02/08/08 09:45 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: I found it easy to get back to feeling good. Easier than all the adjustments and mental castrations I had to do in order to imprint to myself a feeling of negativity.
So.. how'd you do it?
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: AlteredAgain]
#7996189 - 02/08/08 01:07 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well, in in order to feel unhappy, we have to condition our mind. To start from the assumption that if something will or will not happen, we will be sad. This kind of thinking has a great impact on our mood simply because we think it will.
I think that when I realized I can change my interpretation towards life, I also realized that I can do it in a way that serves me.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Icelander]
#7996209 - 02/08/08 01:13 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Cultural programs run deep and are difficult to overcome. Happiness is not a high priority cultural value it seems.
Yes, but happiness seems to be what almost everybody is looking for. I would say that following and adhering to a social standard is done by people thinking that it will bring them happiness.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7996233 - 02/08/08 01:18 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah, it's very unlikely to grow happiness out of expectation. Even if the prediction is somewhat accurate, each moment in the universe is entirely unique and unpredictable, so that anything that happens will never really fit one's expectations and thus invite disappointment.
A welcoming approach to life's unfoldment turns out to be a wise stance to take in our quest for happiness.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7996350 - 02/08/08 01:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said:
Quote:
Icelander said: Cultural programs run deep and are difficult to overcome. Happiness is not a high priority cultural value it seems.
Yes, but happiness seems to be what almost everybody is looking for. I would say that following and adhering to a social standard is done by people thinking that it will bring them happiness.
You're right and that's the problem. Folk (without questioning or thinking) believe that what they've been told is true.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Icelander]
#7996685 - 02/08/08 03:16 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Cultural programs run deep and are difficult to overcome. Happiness is not a high priority cultural value it seems.
How many times do we hear from drug prohibitionists *gasp*: "Drugs are evil because they make you feel ecstacy, joy, pleasure," etc. ?
Not equating these feelings with happiness, but why would feeling good be seen as bad?
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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It's a religious thingy.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Boots
Disenchanted


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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Icelander]
#7997821 - 02/08/08 07:46 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Depression may very well be a learned process. Notice how a lot of things people get depressed about are rather trivial. Perhaps they don't allow themselves to be happy because they equate bad things to bad feelings and carry that baggage longer than needed.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Boots]
#7997998 - 02/08/08 08:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Depression may very well be a learned process.
Yes, I also think so. I mean, its obvious that some of us could be predisposed to feeling bad, but I think that in most of the situations depression is learned. I also feel that our natural impulse is to be happy, and if the educators (especially parents) know how to cultivate this in their children, then we as humans would increase our chances for happiness right from the start.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Boots]
#7998088 - 02/08/08 09:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Boots said: Depression may very well be a learned process. Notice how a lot of things people get depressed about are rather trivial. Perhaps they don't allow themselves to be happy because they equate bad things to bad feelings and carry that baggage longer than needed.
yup. It's learned and ingrained. In adults it's almost impossible to completely unlearn I think. Therefore it is most important that parents don't teach it to their offspring and there is fat chance of that considering that the parents are depressed. I also think that most people don't really know that their depressed on a conscious level.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (02/08/08 09:12 PM)
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



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Posts: 11,181
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Re: Allowing ourselves to be happy [Re: Icelander]
#7999047 - 02/09/08 02:34 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thus I will say to my child:
"Look, welcome to planet Earth, you have arrived. Now there are some rules which we play by here and you might not understand them right away but you will learn how to navigate through the game as you grow older.
Then when you become old enough, you may come up with even better rules and teach them to your children someday."

You're not on probation. There is no guilt put upon you. You belong here because you are here.
The result: Depression less to no more. I believe this.
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