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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Relationship Q
    #7991981 - 02/07/08 02:33 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Sometimes my girlfriend will get very upset about something and shell start to tell me about it, but she doesnt want me to talk back. Shell say that she just wants me to listen and doesnt want my opinion. I am want to have conversations where there is a give and take to the discussion.

Without adding any more bias to this scenario, is her request reasonable to ask that I not give her any feedback and just listen while she vents, or should I have the right to give her my perspective on her situation? Comments?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinegluke bastid
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7991990 - 02/07/08 02:35 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Do you have the right to respond when she is talking to you?

Yeah, I think the first amendment pretty much gurantees it.

If she wants something she can yell at that won't respond, tell her to get a cactus or a puppy, not a boyfriend.


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


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OfflineRebirtha
I really like bread
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7992009 - 02/07/08 02:43 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

You should just do the same to her.


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Rebirtha]
    #7992080 - 02/07/08 03:00 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

yea that crossed my mind, but I want feedback when I talk to people, otherwise what the hell am I talking to them for? She says this is different because shes a woman. I personally think this is different because she doesn't want to hear that she might be wrong about something.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineKamin
Male


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 449
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7992244 - 02/07/08 03:25 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

What's the damned big deal about letting her vent? Everyone needs to do it. Venting is called venting and not discussing for a reason. If you care about her and she requests it, not responding shouldn't be a big deal.


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OfflineRebirtha
I really like bread
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Kamin]
    #7992274 - 02/07/08 03:30 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Kamin said:
What's the damned big deal about letting her vent? Everyone needs to do it. Venting is called venting and not discussing for a reason. If you care about her and she requests it, not responding shouldn't be a big deal.




Unless she is saying something might warrant a response so the guy can defend himself. Sounds like she doesn't want to be wrong and she found her way.

TO the dude who originally posted: did what she say warrant a response or did you feel the need to defend yourself?


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OfflineDobie
Dopeless Hopefiend
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Rebirtha]
    #7992282 - 02/07/08 03:32 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I am pretty sure she is fucking your brother at this point


--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch


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OfflineRebirtha
I really like bread
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Dobie]
    #7992292 - 02/07/08 03:33 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

dobie said:
I am pretty sure she is fucking your brother at this point




either that or check your wallet, it might be empty.


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Rebirtha]
    #7992464 - 02/07/08 04:15 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

hmm

shit, i think she pulled a double doosie on me


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinesam420
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7992532 - 02/07/08 04:30 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Girls don't want solutions to problems.  They want you to listen.

Guys and girls work differently, guys love to offer practical advice but  really the girl just wants somebody to understand how they feel.  If you really want a two way conversation try talking to her about how she feels as opposed to how you can magically make her problem go away by offering solutions.

Edit: Oh, and NEVER take relationship advice from the Shroomery. :smirk:


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future


Edited by sam420 (02/07/08 04:31 PM)


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Kamin]
    #7992559 - 02/07/08 04:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Kamin said:
What's the damned big deal about letting her vent? Everyone needs to do it. Venting is called venting and not discussing for a reason. If you care about her and she requests it, not responding shouldn't be a big deal.




Exactly!

Many times a woman just needs to talk and have you LISTEN. She doesn't want (or need) your opinion, she just needs to get some stuff off her chest.

Don't try to solve her problems..........unless she asks for your opinion.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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OfflinePilzeEssen


Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 7,312
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: Relationship Q [Re: sam420]
    #7992565 - 02/07/08 04:37 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

play mind games with her dude


--------------------
"The soul has greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live."

If you want to get a hold of me, my email address is in my profile. Just click on my screen name. I got banned from using private messages cause I didn't follow the rules... :frown:


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InvisibleIrradiated_Feces
doomedgeneration
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7992589 - 02/07/08 04:42 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

consider yourself lucky. Just smile and nod and throw in some yeas an uh huhs when appropriate.


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Offlineimpgl
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Irradiated_Feces]
    #7992616 - 02/07/08 04:46 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

every once and a while its a good idea to repeat what they just said but like this: "Mm Hm. so you think that (insert last thing she just said). thats a good way of looking at things."


EDIT: the shroomery has helped me with EVERY problem i 've had in relationships


--------------------
omg really?


Edited by impgl (02/07/08 04:47 PM)


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Invisibleawesomebastard
Lost
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Registered: 12/16/07
Posts: 4,891
Re: Relationship Q [Re: niteowl]
    #7992622 - 02/07/08 04:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

This is why I find it hard to be in a relationship.

1)Women tend to be for the most part very selfish.

2)They want men to treat them as equals yet demand "special" treatment.

3)They are also very stubborn especially during fights they want you to step down and apologize because they need to feel they are somewhat in control of the relationship.

It all seems to stem from the fact that they are generally physically weaker then men so tend to have a Napoleon complex. ( you will also see this in many short men they act extra tough all the time.) but women don't act tough they exert mental and emotional attacks. If you are married or have a serious GF you know what I mean.


--------------------
"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics." ~ C.J. Keyser



Mr. Cypher said: "I just tell the girls how sexy I am and their panties melt."


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OfflineNexius
Ruler
Male


Registered: 06/24/07
Posts: 3,960
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7992861 - 02/07/08 05:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

mickdawg666 said:
Sometimes my girlfriend will get very upset about something and shell start to tell me about it, but she doesnt want me to talk back. Shell say that she just wants me to listen and doesnt want my opinion. I am want to have conversations where there is a give and take to the discussion.

Without adding any more bias to this scenario, is her request reasonable to ask that I not give her any feedback and just listen while she vents, or should I have the right to give her my perspective on her situation? Comments?





LOL due your lucky she'll even tell you what's wrong

most women dont


--------------------
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak


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Offlinesam420
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Registered: 01/14/05
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: awesomebastard]
    #7992884 - 02/07/08 05:54 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

awesomebastard said:
This is why I find it hard to be in a relationship.

1)Women tend to be for the most part very selfish.

2)They want men to treat them as equals yet demand "special" treatment.

3)They are also very stubborn especially during fights they want you to step down and apologize because they need to feel they are somewhat in control of the relationship.

It all seems to stem from the fact that they are generally physically weaker then men so tend to have a Napoleon complex. ( you will also see this in many short men they act extra tough all the time.) but women don't act tough they exert mental and emotional attacks. If you are married or have a serious GF you know what I mean.




I have a gf of 6 years and have no idea what you mean.

Maybe you should quit dating crazy bitches


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future


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Invisibleawesomebastard
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: sam420]
    #7992905 - 02/07/08 05:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

sam420 said:
Quote:

awesomebastard said:
This is why I find it hard to be in a relationship.

1)Women tend to be for the most part very selfish.

2)They want men to treat them as equals yet demand "special" treatment.

3)They are also very stubborn especially during fights they want you to step down and apologize because they need to feel they are somewhat in control of the relationship.

It all seems to stem from the fact that they are generally physically weaker then men so tend to have a Napoleon complex. ( you will also see this in many short men they act extra tough all the time.) but women don't act tough they exert mental and emotional attacks.  If you are married or have a serious GF you know what I mean.




I have a gf of 6 years and have no idea what you mean.

Maybe you should quit dating crazy bitches



:rofl::thumbup::thumbup::borat:


--------------------
"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics." ~ C.J. Keyser



Mr. Cypher said: "I just tell the girls how sexy I am and their panties melt."


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Offlinefuture
Stranger
Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 408
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: Relationship Q [Re: sam420]
    #7992953 - 02/07/08 06:13 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

sam420 said:
Quote:

awesomebastard said:
This is why I find it hard to be in a relationship.

1)Women tend to be for the most part very selfish.

2)They want men to treat them as equals yet demand "special" treatment.

3)They are also very stubborn especially during fights they want you to step down and apologize because they need to feel they are somewhat in control of the relationship.

It all seems to stem from the fact that they are generally physically weaker then men so tend to have a Napoleon complex. ( you will also see this in many short men they act extra tough all the time.) but women don't act tough they exert mental and emotional attacks. If you are married or have a serious GF you know what I mean.




I have a gf of 6 years and have no idea what you mean.

Maybe you should quit dating crazy bitches




congrats.. you represent approximately .3% of the population.


--------------------
I am the fakest person on this site. I only pretend to grow and consume illegal mushrooms. I have no knowledge what so ever on any scheduled substance because I know and respect the governing law in the United States of America. All pictures and dialogue posted by me is entirley copyrighted from those who wish to knowingly ignore the laws. I only post these messages as a mere propaganda technique used to gain attention and admiration from others. Thank You


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OfflineIron_Hymen
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: future]
    #7993137 - 02/07/08 06:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

you have the right to say what you want. That's why it's called a relationship.


--------------------

#1 reason organized religion should be done away with. It's a message, and one that is open to speculation.
"Pray your own prayers and talk to God on your own.He doesn't want a fucking parrot, and he doesn't want a sheep"

GnuBobo:Iron. Hymen. Vitamin.
Be Iron, like Hymen, in Vitamin.
Iron. Hymen. Vitamin.


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OfflineKamin
Male


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 449
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Relationship Q [Re: Iron_Hymen]
    #7993163 - 02/07/08 06:51 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

If she is upset with YOU for something, then you should have a problem with not saying anything. If the stuff has nothing to do with anything you did, then just let her talk.


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: sam420]
    #7993437 - 02/07/08 07:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

sam420 said:
Guys and girls work differently, guys love to offer practical advice but  really the girl just wants somebody to understand how they feel.  If you really want a two way conversation try talking to her about how she feels as opposed to how you can magically make her problem go away by offering solutions.

Edit: Oh, and NEVER take relationship advice from the Shroomery. :smirk:




solid man :wink::thumbup:


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinemoosehead
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7993446 - 02/07/08 07:37 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

you can say what you want but it is pretty pointless.

learn to recognize a rant.


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InvisibleLucidDream
Hungry BlueFiend
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Registered: 05/09/03
Posts: 1,496
Loc: Planet of the Stupid Peop...
Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7993466 - 02/07/08 07:40 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Since she doesn't want any feedback, tell her to get a tape recorder so you can listen to it at your leisure.

No, it's not reasonable. Don't put up with this shit.


--------------------
Sarcasm just one of my many talents.



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Offlineshroomrider03
new but notstrange
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: ManianFH]
    #7993516 - 02/07/08 07:47 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Dude my girlfriend does the exact same thing all the time. I just let her vent, because I'm a good listener anyway. Sometimes I do tell her that's enough, I don't want to hear it anymore. Yeah, she gets pissed off, but women like their man to take control and tell them to be quiet every once in a while. Don't tell her to shut the hell up or anything, just let her know that her venting is putting you in a bad mood and you can't listen to her anymore. If she doesn't be quiet after that, then tell her to shut the hell up. LOL


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Offlinegluke bastid
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: future]
    #7995882 - 02/08/08 11:26 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

future said:
Quote:

sam420 said:
Quote:

awesomebastard said:
This is why I find it hard to be in a relationship.

1)Women tend to be for the most part very selfish.

2)They want men to treat them as equals yet demand "special" treatment.

3)They are also very stubborn especially during fights they want you to step down and apologize because they need to feel they are somewhat in control of the relationship.

It all seems to stem from the fact that they are generally physically weaker then men so tend to have a Napoleon complex. ( you will also see this in many short men they act extra tough all the time.) but women don't act tough they exert mental and emotional attacks. If you are married or have a serious GF you know what I mean.




I have a gf of 6 years and have no idea what you mean.

Maybe you should quit dating crazy bitches




congrats.. you represent approximately .3% of the population.




Well I would count myself in that percentage as well. Are you so sure that it is we who are in the minority?


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: Relationship Q [Re: Kamin]
    #7996176 - 02/08/08 01:02 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Kamin said:
What's the damned big deal about letting her vent? Everyone needs to do it. Venting is called venting and not discussing for a reason. If you care about her and she requests it, not responding shouldn't be a big deal.




Yes everyone needs to vent sometimes. I think most take it too far. Not every rant is a healthy release as much as it is a self-righteous indulgence. It's too common to dump accumulated frustrations on a friend or partner, under the pretense of healthy venting, while the root of that frustration goes unaddressed.

I had a girlfriend who would rant at me about things others did, constantly, with the same anger and venom she would have liked to unleash on the person who supposedly caused her this frustration. When I told her how it made me feel, she got upset and complained she had nobody to talk to.

I was always available to be talked to, and always willing to offer support, but I am not a receptacle for pent up anger and spite. Venting causes anger to snowball, rather than dissipate, in my experience.

Dawg, some degree of venting is normal. She's just looking for support, not advice. But if these are frequent, angry, indulgent rants I would not put up with it. If she wants support, you are deserving of being approached with respect.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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OfflineKamin
Male


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 449
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Relationship Q [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7996212 - 02/08/08 01:14 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

WhiskeyClone said:
Yes everyone needs to vent sometimes. I think most take it too far. Not every rant is a healthy release as much as it is a self-righteous indulgence. It's too common to dump accumulated frustrations on a friend or partner, under the pretense of healthy venting, while the root of that frustration goes unaddressed.

I had a girlfriend who would rant at me about things others did, constantly, with the same anger and venom she would have liked to unleash on the person who supposedly caused her this frustration. When I told her how it made me feel, she got upset and complained she had nobody to talk to.

I was always available to be talked to, and always willing to offer support, but I am not a receptacle for pent up anger and spite. Venting causes anger to snowball, rather than dissipate, in my experience.

Dawg, some degree of venting is normal. She's just looking for support, not advice. But if these are frequent, angry, indulgent rants I would not put up with it. If she wants support, you are deserving of being approached with respect.




Good point(s).


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Offlineimpgl
CrimethINCspecial agent
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 2,462
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Re: Relationship Q [Re: Kamin]
    #7997189 - 02/08/08 05:26 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

:catfrog:


--------------------
omg really?


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