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Invisibleappleorange
Rainbow Technician
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Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
Girls, Why The Introductions?
    #7988762 - 02/06/08 08:00 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Well,

There's a girl that seems pretty interested in me and she's running me through the usual "meet my friends" routine. Personally, I don't really care, but I see girls doing this all the time.

I have to ask. Why do girls need the approval of their friends? The girl is the one in the relationship, shouldn't she care what she thinks and not what others think?


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7989306 - 02/06/08 09:34 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

haha. girls are not like that at all. they are super competitive. if her friends don't like you she will feel uncomfortable in the relationship. read up on women's psychology. it's some pretty interesting shit. the difference between a women's and man's mind is astounding


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7989318 - 02/06/08 09:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

never had that problem :shrug:

although, it is always cool when it turns out their friends are cool, but i've always met them through and after hanging out with the girl for  a little while


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: demiu5]
    #7990722 - 02/07/08 07:58 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

it's a social thing.

Girls are motivated by social gains. They show you to their friends, their friends approve (maybe even envy?) and they know that in the eyes of their peers, they just took one step up on the ladder. The worst they'll accept is for their friends to find you "acceptable". If their friends disprove, it's byebye to you (most of the time).

Is it sad? yes. is it reality? yes.

However it does have its upsides. If you NAIL that first impression with the friends, there's more of a chance that when you break up wth the bitch, one of her friends will want to hop on yer cawk.


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Offlinetodesengel
the chinese chicken


Registered: 08/04/05
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: memes]
    #7991271 - 02/07/08 11:29 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Women don't have strength in the single mind of their own. They have to have a group of minds for each decision. I guess its kind of a self relying issue.


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: memes]
    #7991397 - 02/07/08 12:06 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

meams said:
it's a social thing.

Girls are motivated by social gains.




Exactly. In a (very) general sense, the social structure of men is built on hierarchy, power, dominance etc. Women on the other hand are more concerned with networking, and parallel relationships.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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InvisibleLeftyBurnz
Mr. I Eat Butthole
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Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 24,570
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7992824 - 02/07/08 05:43 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

appleorange said:
Well,

There's a girl that seems pretty interested in me and she's running me through the usual "meet my friends" routine. Personally, I don't really care, but I see girls doing this all the time.

I have to ask. Why do girls need the approval of their friends? The girl is the one in the relationship, shouldn't she care what she thinks and not what others think?




approval apples. they want to see what their friends think. some women dont need this, but from my own experiences, many of them like to be reassured of their decision thhrough their friends.


--------------------


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: LeftyBurnz]
    #7993503 - 02/07/08 07:45 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

some women just haven't transcended their evolutionary programming. think about it, when the men went to hunt women would all sit around and gossip or whatever the fuck they did in caveman times. this is probably the best explanation for this behaviour IMO


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Invisibleelbisivni

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 2,839
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #7995082 - 02/08/08 07:23 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quit the shit.

Quote:

The University of Arizona's Steven L. Kuhn and Mary C. Stiner, use archeological evidence to argue that Neanderthal females - unlike Homo sapien women of the Upper Paleolithic period - joined men in hunts at a time when stabbing giant beasts with a sharpish stone affixed to a stick represented the cutting edge of technology.



http://www.boston.com/news/science/articles/2007/11/10/stone_age_feminism/?page=2


--------------------
From dust you are made and to dust you shall return.


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OfflineApJunkie
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: elbisivni]
    #7995110 - 02/08/08 07:47 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I heard that when the cave-men were out hunting and killing the cave-women sat around and watched oprah.


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Invisiblepeepeepottypants
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7995360 - 02/08/08 09:12 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I think I may be the first girl to actually comment on it.

Personally, I don't do this, but if I did my reason for doing so would not be based on a need for acceptance, rather, it would be based on a need for a balanced viewpoint. Its easy to get wrapped up in a person and even their projected image when approaching them from an exclusive standpoint. But having a third person gives a little more of a rational perspective than one who is more involved emotionally.

That being said, I have been a friend to many of friends who wanted me to meet their boyfriends/significant others...and it has appeared to be a need for acceptance. But not all girls do it for that reason.


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Offlinetodesengel
the chinese chicken


Registered: 08/04/05
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Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #7995617 - 02/08/08 10:06 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

peepeepottypants said:
I think I may be the first girl to actually comment on it.

Personally, I don't do this, but if I did my reason for doing so would not be based on a need for acceptance, rather, it would be based on a need for a balanced viewpoint. Its easy to get wrapped up in a person and even their projected image when approaching them from an exclusive standpoint. But having a third person gives a little more of a rational perspective than one who is more involved emotionally.

That being said, I have been a friend to many of friends who wanted me to meet their boyfriends/significant others...and it has appeared to be a need for acceptance. But not all girls do it for that reason.




I am sorry. But I just refuse to believe that all girls don't do it. I think they all do, regardless of what they say. No offense.


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Invisiblepeepeepottypants
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: todesengel]
    #7995853 - 02/08/08 11:19 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Maybe you haven't met any girls that don't fall into whatever stereotype you have for them.

Or maybe you're being entirely close minded on the matter.

I tend to believe the latter, simply because you flat out said you REFUSE to believe it....why don't you just try a little?

I'm sorry, but not everyone is going to fall in line with such a rigid way of thinking


Edited by peepeepottypants (02/08/08 11:42 AM)


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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7995964 - 02/08/08 11:53 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I don't do this, but I think that there might be reasons for it beyond seeking approval.  For one thing, it can be difficult to be discerning when you are in the throes of chemical infatuation (usually the first 6 months of a relationship), so seeking perspective from those who are NOT infatuated with your partner could be helpful.  Infatuation is blind, deaf & dumb!  :lol:


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #7996046 - 02/08/08 12:22 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

purhaps you need a third point of view to see that you do it too?


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Invisiblepeepeepottypants
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #7996722 - 02/08/08 03:28 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

If such is the case, then perhaps you are correct.
I'm not above being wrong.

However, I have yet to have someone observant of my behavior call me out on it. So I suppose I just have my point of view, my ex-boyfriends, my family and friends.

Unfortunately I don't think todesengel or you really know me well enough to have a good understanding of whether I do or not. But I promise if you find evidence, I will not overlook it!


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Invisibleelbisivni

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 2,839
Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: todesengel]
    #7997656 - 02/08/08 07:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

todesengel said:
I am sorry. But I just refuse to believe that all girls don't do it. I think they all do, regardless of what they say. No offense.



All do or all don't.. surely the true answer doesn't lie somewhere in between :rolleyes:


--------------------
From dust you are made and to dust you shall return.


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OfflineMrBump
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #7998217 - 02/08/08 09:41 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

peepeepottypants said:
I think I may be the first girl to actually comment on it.

Personally, I don't do this, but if I did my reason for doing so would not be based on a need for acceptance, rather, it would be based on a need for a balanced viewpoint.  Its easy to get wrapped up in a person and even their projected image when approaching them from an exclusive standpoint.  But having a third person gives a little more of a rational perspective than one who is more involved emotionally.

That being said, I have been a friend to many of friends who wanted me to meet their boyfriends/significant others...and it has appeared to be a need for acceptance.  But not all girls do it for that reason.




this is a good thread, only b/c I have been burned more than a few times b/c of the dissapproval of the girl's friends (or so I fool myself into believing this :smirk:)


I have to reply to the above post tho, b/c it just doesnt make sense to me. If I have been out on say, 3 dates w/ a girl, we are beyond the "what do you do?" "what movies, books, political views, music, et al, do you like?" phase. hopefully you have had deeper discussions than this basic knowledge eqivelant to what you know about a co-worker/acquaintance.

she's probably seen how you decorate your place, what car you drive, figured out how much money you make - the superficial stuff (dont worry, i've already analyzed the size of your breasts and firmness of your ass, at least with mine eyes.)

so, then the girl parades me in front of her friends, I am forced to give them the same "beginning of the relationship" material to these strangers, strangers I am not interested in impressing in the same manner than I am the love interest. make or break decisions are made on these meetings....

I agree, not all girls do this, but I feel that its a majority and its pretty stupid. but it gives the chronically indecisive woman the easy way out sometimes.
and like someone has posted here before, men and women's brains are wired differently.

it just baffles me when a guy's friends all tell him that the girl he is seeing is a piece of shit (right or wrong) and it almost never affects the guy's decision to continue the raleationship.


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinegreystealth
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Registered: 11/09/07
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: appleorange]
    #7998310 - 02/08/08 10:06 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

appleorange said:
Well,

There's a girl that seems pretty interested in me and she's running me through the usual "meet my friends" routine. Personally, I don't really care, but I see girls doing this all the time.

I have to ask. Why do girls need the approval of their friends? The girl is the one in the relationship, shouldn't she care what she thinks and not what others think?




Many girls: ages 13-25 have BFFFF's(best friends for fucking forever). Their girlfriends mean the world to them- they're like family.

So for them, it's like they're having you meet their family members for approval. I also think insecurity has a big role in this, as for them needing reassurance from friends/family for their new guy.

good lucK


--------------------


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Invisibleappleorange
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Re: Girls, Why The Introductions? [Re: greystealth]
    #7998477 - 02/08/08 10:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

i'm not having any problems with it so far, thanks for the replies though :thumbup:

i just think it's absolutely retarded that girls do this. i remember my ex's friends coming to her and asking what they thought of this or that boy and based upon what she said determined whether they would continue seeing him or not.

it works in other strange ways too. in high school i once dated a pretty atrractive girl and I went from being a zero to having about 4 other girls who suddenly took an interest in me.

with me, i just date people and are interested in people for who they are and could care less for their social status or what others say about them.

*cheers


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