i was gonna post bout my trip thus far, but i was too laggy to even begin to write anything down.
I pick up and eigth after a quick run and my dealer informs me theyre pretty mellow and itd be a good idea if i do em by myself, so now i spend the rest of the night tryin to figure out if im goin to work/to pick up this game, blah blah blah before i say fuck work lets get this goin, grabbin a hamburger bun and chowing down, tho the burger king before hand got me nervours about throwin up but i drank cups and cups of o.j. so everything worked out
It was strange to say the least, im chillen listening to music in the shower, chowin and such before i decide to go hang out in my room for the rest of the night and play wii. I feel like a cornball cuz im standing up playing zelda then i realize im not that into it cuz i still gotta press the joy stick forward, so jus crash on the couch, by the time i get stuck on one part I give up and grab a paper. Im not really tryin to hard but the words seem to come out in a kinda of flow that turn out like a poem, not a very good one but on shrooms pretty interesting. After realizing i gave up and am just drawing abstract shapes all over the page, i whip out the acoustic guitar and thats my word, as i was playing i noticed certain colors/streams vibrating off it, but they were too vibrant for me to label them plus that was the best jam session ive ever had/heard (couple solos down) so i dont know what to say besides whenever i take shrooms music is the shit
it was too late tho for me to do anything besides blaze so i said eff it, read a book(stephan colbert) somehow having mad fun, rearranged a shrine I built that i now use to memorialize a friend and ended up crashing on my bed watchin tv, tho i couldnt seem to know what the hell carson daily was talkin about but everyone had mardi gras beads so it looked pretty fun, along with the cel shady lookin textures on tv it wasnt bad
tho this is were things got strange, i kinda felt out of body like i lost my breathe and couldnt help lookin at my arms and legs to make sure i was all there, i was a bit antzy but at the same time i just wanted to lie down. I then got a bit paranoid, decided to go on the computer to mess with fruity loops but then got side tracked on to myspace, right here is where I screw my head up, i go to post a bulliten to say somethin bout how im still trippin but then i think im bein a bad role model as in coming back from my egolessness i think im different/changed, from here i think, maybe i should stop messin with shrooms and from there i think i should stop messin with buds cause thats the only way people wouldnt mess with shrooms, now im in a loop thinking im some sort of drug jesus tryin to figure out what to say with out puttin people off to sobriety but at the same time im puttin people off drugs
then i think oh shit ive been here before and now im jus sittin at my computer, thkning has this happened before, and did I somehow get caught in some sort of reality loop that was gonna make me stuck in this life forever. I kinda get this idea/vision in my head of a group of colors and stars just spinning out of a median with a red/yellow gradient background, thinking that my ego is coming back)
So now all these ideas are runnin through my head about conspiracies, the antichrist and all that jazz, so now i figure in order to return to sobriety i have to fix this "equation", now im sittin there tryin to figure it out when i realize that my computer and the note in front of me were some form of communication with... the DEVIL! so now im stuck like shit I cant make a deal at ALL! then im staring at this screen jus waitin/being, i literally waited like a fuckin hour through all of this time tryin to figure out this thought loop but the only things i got out of it was one i could die very soon based on my "pschic/scitzo" abilites, two go to hell then be ressurrected to heaven and three that i was somehow haunted by a holy ghost
so yea you figure by this point i was jus having too much "thinkin" goin on, i finnaly give up and the only reality i have left after that is, "I dont feel like dying, i mean im not afraid as in jumpin into a panic room, but if i dont get anything accomplished i might be a bit tight if it happens..."
then i get to the bathroom to take a piss and somehow jus standin there in the dark lookin down at the toilet bowl i figure, im only human and everythings gonna be alright
all in all whenever i trip by my lonesome i seem to whip up these type of stories but at the same time i dont really care, cuz shit i mighta been bored anyway
next time i plan to be around some people, preferabbly with some cid, i was askin for this to happen
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