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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit.
#7977207 - 02/04/08 10:37 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Within the last couple of months I seemed to have reached a breaking over point of some kind. A couple of years ago I accepted the idea that I should only focus my attention in places where I wanted results quickly. This meant dropping my attachments to other people’s ideas and opinions. As well as to stop living up to other people’s ideas about what I should do or be, and live only for myself. I wanted to enjoy complete freedom from self judgment and the judgments of others. As I said I accepted this idea as the proper way to live for me, and I have worked to live up to it, but often I have failed by relapsing into caring about the opinions of others and indulging in self judgment and comparison. Now it seems that all of a sudden I have started to not really give a shit about many things. Particularly where the ideas and opinions of others are concerned. Lately I have stopped worrying about anything that I am not directly interested in. I do not allow others to hook my attention at all unless it fits with my plans. To some observers it would appear that most of my family and friendship relationships are deteriorating. I disregard the attempts that most people make to get my attention. I have narrowed my relationships down to maintaining just a couple of relationships that I am interested in. It would seem that my life was falling apart if I weren’t so damn happy. Except for the few areas where I am actively seeking results the rest of my life has fallen into chaos. I feel like I have been let go after being restrained for a long time. I don’t give a shit, and I don’t want to start.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Spiritual Seeker
Nothing Matters



Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 507
Loc: UK
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977248 - 02/04/08 10:54 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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"It would seem that my life was falling apart if I weren’t so damn happy"
RIGHT WITH YA BROTHER! I broke up with my girlfriend. Practically dont give a shit about my family's opinions because the majority of them are trying so hard to "Hold on" to a perception of how the world should be or what will make them happy that they are fucking miserable! Why would i chase that.
I honestly can say i will be moving to the woods and living the life i want for a while. I caint tell you how fed up i am with others. Not to mention caring about how im viewed by them.
That quote i took from ya is funny man. You've earned some shroomies for that one.
-------------------- "Nothing in the world is a gift. Whatever there is to learn has to be learned the hard way." -Don juan
Edited by Spiritual Seeker (02/04/08 11:02 AM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977250 - 02/04/08 10:56 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have observed that the moments in which I don't generally give a shit coincide with the moments when I mostly get over myself. However, I open myself up to those moments of unprovoked connection.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Well, I am not fed up. I respect and totally accept the choices of others. That doesn't mean that I have to accept their choices for me. I just want things to play out as they are while I ride the wave.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977470 - 02/04/08 12:05 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: Within the last couple of months I seemed to have reached a breaking over point of some kind. A couple of years ago I accepted the idea that I should only focus my attention in places where I wanted results quickly. This meant dropping my attachments to other people’s ideas and opinions. As well as to stop living up to other people’s ideas about what I should do or be, and live only for myself. I wanted to enjoy complete freedom from self judgment and the judgments of others. As I said I accepted this idea as the proper way to live for me, and I have worked to live up to it, but often I have failed by relapsing into caring about the opinions of others and indulging in self judgment and comparison. Now it seems that all of a sudden I have started to not really give a shit about many things. Particularly where the ideas and opinions of others are concerned. Lately I have stopped worrying about anything that I am not directly interested in. I do not allow others to hook my attention at all unless it fits with my plans. To some observers it would appear that most of my family and friendship relationships are deteriorating. I disregard the attempts that most people make to get my attention. I have narrowed my relationships down to maintaining just a couple of relationships that I am interested in. It would seem that my life was falling apart if I weren’t so damn happy. Except for the few areas where I am actively seeking results the rest of my life has fallen into chaos. I feel like I have been let go after being restrained for a long time. I don’t give a shit, and I don’t want to start.
Hue, you need therapy. I'm sure you can become unhappy again and learn to care about others welfare. You just need to work at it. (and believe) Don't give up.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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straasha
Grandfaloon

Registered: 11/01/06
Posts: 117
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977535 - 02/04/08 12:34 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hail that Victory!
Hallelujah brother!
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Icelander]
#7977677 - 02/04/08 01:28 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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There has been some degree of falling apart that has occurred that I have not let on about in our conversations. Lots of people are somewhat on the outs with me on their part due to my "inconsiderate" action. I have not tended many types of personal business like seeing to my financial matters. I have let everything go down the shit hole except for what pleases me right now. I feel like a pendulum that has been let go. I guess it might swing back and forth wildly before settling down, but really I don't much care. I am going to dispose of most of my personal possesions and leave where I am now.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977825 - 02/04/08 02:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well really, why not? It's your life and you should decide for yourself how to live it and what will be important for you. It's the hardest thing in the world to do. You won't get any good at it if you don't practice.
If you're resilient then whatever comes of your experiments will be fodder for your future.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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backfromthedead
Activated


Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7977890 - 02/04/08 02:31 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7978140 - 02/04/08 03:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I did what other people told me to do for so long and tried to live up to impossible expectations that I did not and could not meet. Fuck all that. I just want to have fun and be free. I am not sure that it is an experiment. I see it as another phase in a process that is non-reversible.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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sunflower
We're here....


Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 552
Last seen: 6 years, 21 days
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7978280 - 02/04/08 04:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I agree, it is hard to care when your ecstatic!
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: sunflower]
#7981584 - 02/05/08 07:14 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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This kind of reminds me of spring cleaning. Even though the end result is great and beautiful it can get messy while you are cleaning house.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7981818 - 02/05/08 09:11 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: I did what other people told me to do for so long and tried to live up to impossible expectations that I did not and could not meet. Fuck all that. I just want to have fun and be free. I am not sure that it is an experiment. I see it as another phase in a process that is non-reversible.
Well I mean life is an experiment. It takes a lot of living to realize that what we do really has little effect on others no matter what they claim and that we will soon be dead and our only rewards are the ones we claim by living out some of our real desires. Go for it Hue. I'm enjoying watching it all unfold. I've never witnessed someone change so dramatically, in such (IMO) positive ways in such a short time. It's really fun and inspiring to watch.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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BlueCoyote
Beyond



Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7986310 - 02/06/08 11:30 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Oh yea !  I remember our first small discussion here on the board whether god blesses America and your tough defending soldier style  Intriguing
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: BlueCoyote]
#7986419 - 02/06/08 12:14 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Fuck America! Fuck the Army too! They did teach me to hate authority...so they can't really be bad...but fuck em anyway.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Archemetis
newbie

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 200
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7986582 - 02/06/08 12:55 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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to believe in nothing is to illuminate everything.
though i have found that apathy is a razors edge between freedom and despair.
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backfromthedead
Activated


Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Archemetis]
#7986605 - 02/06/08 01:01 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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'but fuck em anyway.'
The forces in nature that they seem to embody are... impressive.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7986756 - 02/06/08 01:37 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: Fuck America! Fuck the Army too! They did teach me to hate authority...so they can't really be bad...but fuck em anyway.
What about your Mommy and Daddy?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Icelander]
#7986910 - 02/06/08 02:09 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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They can live in peace and I wish them all of the best, but their dream is not mine.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Journey to I Don’t Give a Shit. [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7987087 - 02/06/08 02:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Is that the same as "fuck them"?
I'm asking because I want to know if you draw a line somewhere and what that line is based on? You can say fuck America without batting an eye but really it's the human family as much as your personal family is. Are you attached in ways to them (emotionally) that you are not to humanity at large?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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