|
Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
|
I love you -- nothing personal!
#7963851 - 02/01/08 08:30 AM (16 years, 15 hours ago) |
|
|
My recent (since 2003) "experiments" with being loving (as opposed to finding someone loveable) have convinced me that I was mistaken in my lifelong ideas about what love is.
Perhaps the limitations we learn to set on our ability to be loving have a "nocebo" effect, in that our beliefs become actualized in our experiences? Once these beliefs begin to regularly play out in our life, we take them as gospel, and become incapable of loving those who do not meet our narrow set of standards--our personal definition of "loveable."
But in my recent experiences, in which I quite deliberately switched the focus onto my own capacity for loving, and away from the qualities I perceived in others, I have found that I am capable of loving everyone. The artificial limit I had set, in which others had to be deserving of love, has been exposed as illusionary.
On that note--Good morning, everyone! I love you! (Nothing personal.)
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 16 hours
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7963860 - 02/01/08 08:33 AM (16 years, 15 hours ago) |
|
|
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7963884 - 02/01/08 08:40 AM (16 years, 15 hours ago) |
|
|

I have to remind myself to do this, but it's becoming a habit.
My attitude towards strangers used to always default to suspicion, mistrust, fear...
When I keep reminding myself to love, life seems to resist me much less.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7963913 - 02/01/08 08:46 AM (16 years, 15 hours ago) |
|
|
there are different places in the self each a single step apart. in an untrusting environment, I find an inner place of respectible decorum. in a trusting environment, I may find the temple of love. when the times are tough, I find the shrine of peace.
these facilities are like inner architectures. BTW, Veritas, love the images you are showing lately (very architectural - shrine like - beacons for the troubled, and home for the contemplative)
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7963975 - 02/01/08 09:05 AM (16 years, 15 hours ago) |
|
|
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
backfromthedead
Activated


Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7964152 - 02/01/08 10:03 AM (16 years, 14 hours ago) |
|
|
I've been at this for a while but its draining. Egos, masks, complaining... Will it please start raining. Everybody is still learning that brain thing. Death vibrations for the gaining on the flip flop. Christmas tree mushroom at the bottom tinsel to the tip top. Stars on the bottom. One... I hope.
Hop on pop.
--------------------
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7964516 - 02/01/08 11:49 AM (16 years, 12 hours ago) |
|
|
Veritas, yes! I've been contemplating the subject in similar ways. I've concluded that the categories we traditionally divide love into are innacurate and illusory structures. For awhile I was bumming out on the idea that love itself was the ilusion, but I no longer think it is. Love is more prevalent and broader than I thought it was. It can't be contained properly in tidy categories. Aspects of different 'types' of love spill over into other areas and constantly baffle our attempts to tie them into perfect packages. Better to let myself love broadly and openly than try and define love into diminished corners!
|
MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964599 - 02/01/08 12:09 PM (16 years, 12 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
NiamhNyx said: Veritas, yes! I've been contemplating the subject in similar ways. I've concluded that the categories we traditionally divide love into are innacurate and illusory structures. For awhile I was bumming out on the idea that love itself was the ilusion, but I no longer think it is. Love is more prevalent and broader than I thought it was. It can't be contained properly in tidy categories. Aspects of different 'types' of love spill over into other areas and constantly baffle our attempts to tie them into perfect packages. Better to let myself love broadly and openly than try and define love into diminished corners!
Very beautifully spoken, thank you.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964626 - 02/01/08 12:13 PM (16 years, 12 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
NiamhNyx said: Veritas, yes! I've been contemplating the subject in similar ways. I've concluded that the categories we traditionally divide love into are innacurate and illusory structures. For awhile I was bumming out on the idea that love itself was the ilusion, but I no longer think it is. Love is more prevalent and broader than I thought it was. It can't be contained properly in tidy categories. Aspects of different 'types' of love spill over into other areas and constantly baffle our attempts to tie them into perfect packages. Better to let myself love broadly and openly than try and define love into diminished corners!
OK you say that love is an illusion and that you believed that but now you don't. (I agree by the way.) But while we are talking about weather it exists or not I would like to hear your definition of the term "love". Rather then look it up in the dictionary I would like to know what it means to you right off the top of your head.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Icelander]
#7964757 - 02/01/08 12:41 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
Well, it's hard to define but if I was going to try to I'd probably say it's a combination of: feelings of affection, concern for the wellbeing of another, sense of relating to another...
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964772 - 02/01/08 12:44 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
So then I'm guessing you think there are different types of love?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Icelander]
#7964795 - 02/01/08 12:48 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
I think there is a spectrum, but not tidy closed categories. There are many ways to experience love.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964809 - 02/01/08 12:50 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
Could you name some ways of experiencing love that differ and are not related to a single thread?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964866 - 02/01/08 01:03 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
NiamhNyx said: I think there is a spectrum, but not tidy closed categories. There are many ways to experience love.
Physics has proven that love comes in discrete packets of energy or quanta...
--------------------
|
OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Icelander]
#7964879 - 02/01/08 01:06 PM (16 years, 11 hours ago) |
|
|
I love chocolate ice cream, but if it were an impersonal, non-object-oriented love, then I would love pistachio nut ice cream as well, but I don't.
--------------------
|
Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964902 - 02/01/08 01:15 PM (16 years, 10 hours ago) |
|
|
My current working theory is that love has nothing to do with other people, but is, in fact, the state we experience when we allow ourselves to experience the joy of being alive. We learn to associate this state with our interactions, but it is not dependent upon them. Perhaps it is what we call "bliss" or "ecstasy" when it occurs without an interaction with someone else.
All the other trappings we have piled on top of our experience of love are NOT love itself, but rather attachment, need, desperation, dependence, desire, loneliness, etc...
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7964925 - 02/01/08 01:25 PM (16 years, 10 hours ago) |
|
|
That makes a lot of sense.
Ice: No.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7964981 - 02/01/08 01:40 PM (16 years, 10 hours ago) |
|
|
I agree that love is impersonal and unconditional. (the other things we call love are more in the way of self-serving attachments) I think Leary was close to the mark when he said something like "love is a serene, unemotional, unconditional (my addition) merging with other humans or other energies".
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (02/01/08 01:41 PM)
|
Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Icelander]
#7965106 - 02/01/08 02:11 PM (16 years, 10 hours ago) |
|
|
I disagree in that I don't think that there has to be any merging with anything. It is happening all the time, but we find ways to keep ourselves from noticing. The difference between loving and not loving is our awareness of what is already happening.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: I love you -- nothing personal! [Re: Veritas]
#7965208 - 02/01/08 02:39 PM (16 years, 9 hours ago) |
|
|
By merging I believe he means an unconditional acceptance.
How would you identify love, which you say is all around us, from all the other things all around us?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (02/01/08 02:40 PM)
|
|