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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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holy shit
#7955232 - 01/30/08 11:51 AM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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this sounds like a trip report but i don't mean it as such:
i just got back from a friends house. i put 3 dry grams into a cup, made tea of it and drank it with her. we both drank half a cup.
so she hasn't tripped at all before and i have dozens of times. and when she started tripping all that came out was: all my friends are jealous of me, everyone hates me, i never finish anything." and all that in a VERY negative way.
she was reduced into a child-like state and i was forced to babysit her. it's like she said what was truly on her mind although i could always sense that she was talking behind my back about me and about everyone else.
but i just couldn't believe it - she was talking about me like i wasn't there.
it was sad and i almost flipped out. i have never felt the TERROR or the rapid anxiety attack you may have under lsd or shrooms but i felt it: she was talking gibberish and truth at the same time like in a trance.
and she didn't think she was tripping, she was so absorbed in herself she thought it was normal. i asked her if she knew what day it was & what's her name, she looked at me like i was crazy and then told me i am shit and don't know anything about anything.
i always considered her my friend although i felt that i always have to defend her before others and watch my back with her but DAMN.
i just got back from her place and my trip was fucking awesome, she was just like a black hole of negativity.
any advice on how i should talk to her after she sobers up would be appreciated.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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weird.
like what was she sayin? She was talking about you like you wernt there?
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955248 - 01/30/08 11:58 AM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
b0red5tiff said: no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
ohhhh....
thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955260 - 01/30/08 12:03 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?
i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her
so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing
sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955265 - 01/30/08 12:04 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
suimush said:
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
ohhhh....
thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.
see, that would actually be reinforcing his mask and making him an asshole, not her
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955272 - 01/30/08 12:06 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
suimush said:
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
ohhhh....
thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.
i gave her the shrooms, she was/is a newbie - i started it, i was responsible, i made myself the sitter, i had to be there for the whole trip. and so i did. when she was coherent enough i got the fuck out.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said:
Quote:
suimush said:
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
ohhhh....
thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.
see, that would actually be reinforcing his mask and making him an asshole, not her
well its totally reletive to what he felt to. Bored- was she like attacking you in a passive aggressive sorta way or was she analyzing your persona, if you know what i mean.
the way he made it seem to me was she was judging him, i personally cant trip around someone if i feel judged or attatcked. id have to leave for my well being.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
Edited by sui (01/30/08 12:08 PM)
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?
i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her
so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing
sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences
she puts everyone down. she is living with her parents (like me) but she says she'll move soon and get a job (but never does). her parents push her and make her little, mine are supportive. to me it always looked as she felt so miserable about herself that the only way to forget it would to demean others. i just sat quietly and listened.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
b0red5tiff said:
Quote:
suimush said:
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.
ohhhh....
thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.
i gave her the shrooms, she was/is a newbie - i started it, i was responsible, i made myself the sitter, i had to be there for the whole trip. and so i did. when she was coherent enough i got the fuck out.
good point. have you talked to her about it at all yet? If not see what she says and go from there.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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AnastomosisJihad
Hominid



Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 700
Loc: Ohio
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955292 - 01/30/08 12:14 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Now both of you know how it is. She looks down on you, and you look down on her for looking down on you.
There are different kinds of friendship: utility friends, pleasure friends, and true friends. We gain material benefit from the relation with our utility friends and pleasure from the relation with our pleasure friends, but the relationship between true friends is not about what one receives from the other. True friends regard each other as good; each loves the other because he is good.
This girl is obviously not your true friend.
-------------------- come together
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Quote:
b0red5tiff said:
Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?
i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her
so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing
sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences
she puts everyone down. she is living with her parents (like me) but she says she'll move soon and get a job (but never does). her parents push her and make her little, mine are supportive. to me it always looked as she felt so miserable about herself that the only way to forget it would to demean others. i just sat quietly and listened.
i am probably wrong then. that sounds like she was being negative, and since she's talking about people who aren't there she wasn't reacting to her environment but purposively laying negative shit on you. hopefully she got some catharsis from this
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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i didn't look down on her, i just accepted her like she was TO ME. i always knew she hid some deep emotional shit but today it all came out and it was ugly.
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Rectul Threat
Pint of cum(warm)



Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 177
Loc: London
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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beat her.
-------------------- Weed is shit.
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DontPlay
Yeah Science!



Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 750
Loc: On Land most of the time....
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Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?
-------------------- My Trade List I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S. Thompson
I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery. ~Thomas Jefferson
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krypto2000
Unknown


Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: holy shit [Re: DontPlay]
#7955659 - 01/30/08 01:44 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Well why are you friends with this girl exactly? Regardless of this mushrooms trip you haven't mentioned any redeeming qualities about her.
I don't think you should demean her or anything, she's obviously having a tough time, but my recommendation would be to give her what advice you can, and then figuratively tell her to fuck off.
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Re: holy shit [Re: DontPlay]
#7955674 - 01/30/08 01:47 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
DontPlay said: Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?
well, shrooms make you talk. they've made me talkative and i've just philosophized about life and laughed with some other friends.
with her it seemed she wasn't ready to let go, she re-inforced her insecurities with a mantra-like gibberish, every sentence seemed to begin with "i would/wouldn't" or "i am/aren't".
i wasn't imagining it. she made me sober up quick. she doesn't remember what she said at all and only said that it was like someone smarter was talking through her. and the more she glorified herself the more she belittled her friends.
one thing i distinctly remember was saying "yeah X (our mutual friend) only wants to paint because she wants to be as good as me, it's sad actually, pretty pathetic..." that sort of things.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
b0red5tiff said:
Quote:
DontPlay said: Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?
well, shrooms make you talk. they've made me talkative and i've just philosophized about life and laughed with some other friends.
with her it seemed she wasn't ready to let go, she re-inforced her insecurities with a mantra-like gibberish, every sentence seemed to begin with "i would/wouldn't" or "i am/aren't".
i wasn't imagining it. she made me sober up quick. she doesn't remember what she said at all and only said that it was like someone smarter was talking through her. and the more she glorified herself the more she belittled her friends.
one thing i distinctly remember was saying "yeah X (our mutual friend) only wants to paint because she wants to be as good as me, it's sad actually, pretty pathetic..." that sort of things.
wow. I had a buddy like that, that was convinced he was the inspriation and driving force as to why i played guitar. 
she'll work it out. Personally i wouldnt give her anymore mushrooms. A real trip could either break the egocentric thinking or reinforce it. You turned her on, if shes interested enough she'll find them again.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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Fraggin
Multi-Faceted



Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8,707
Last seen: 8 years, 3 days
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955773 - 01/30/08 02:05 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Sounds like she could benefit from more shrooms. Higher dose. Once you hit that level where you're experiencing yourself through other person's realities, you begin to see how flawed you are and can be. It's an epiphanie that you will remember when you're sober, and you will definitley not want to be that person you saw in your trip.
Make her your psychidelic pigmaleon and see how deep you can drag her into the rabbit hole. You never know, this trip may have saved a part of her life.
And I call BS on not remembering what she said. I/you/we always remember, we just use that excuse to escape the responsibility of our actions.
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Re: holy shit [Re: Fraggin]
#7955829 - 01/30/08 02:20 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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i concur with suimush. i wouldn't give her any substances at all like that. she needs to work some things out without them before she will ever be even remotely ready.
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: holy shit [Re: Fraggin]
#7955860 - 01/30/08 02:28 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
Fraggin said: Sounds like she could benefit from more shrooms. Higher dose. Once you hit that level where you're experiencing yourself through other person's realities, you begin to see how flawed you are and can be. It's an epiphanie that you will remember when you're sober, and you will definitley not want to be that person you saw in your trip.
Make her your psychidelic pigmaleon and see how deep you can drag her into the rabbit hole. You never know, this trip may have saved a part of her life.
And I call BS on not remembering what she said. I/you/we always remember, we just use that excuse to escape the responsibility of our actions.
You cant take risks like that when your playing with something as fragile as another persons psyche. Its not your place to force someone to come to terms with a problem that you perceived they have.
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: she needs to work some things out without them before she will ever be even remotely ready.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
Edited by sui (01/30/08 02:29 PM)
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Fraggin
Multi-Faceted



Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8,707
Last seen: 8 years, 3 days
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
#7955884 - 01/30/08 02:34 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
suimush said:
Quote:
Fraggin said: Sounds like she could benefit from more shrooms. Higher dose. Once you hit that level where you're experiencing yourself through other person's realities, you begin to see how flawed you are and can be. It's an epiphanie that you will remember when you're sober, and you will definitley not want to be that person you saw in your trip.
Make her your psychidelic pigmaleon and see how deep you can drag her into the rabbit hole. You never know, this trip may have saved a part of her life.
And I call BS on not remembering what she said. I/you/we always remember, we just use that excuse to escape the responsibility of our actions.
You cant take risks like that when your playing with something as fragile as another persons psyche. Its not your place to force someone to come to terms with a problem that you perceived they have.
Quote:
b0red5tiff said: she needs to work some things out without them before she will ever be even remotely ready.
Yeah, you're probably right. Bad advice.
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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On saturday a friend of mine had an absolute acid freak out, started screaming that he wanted to die and spouting really dark poetry. It totally destroyed my trip, and I eventually had to grab his hand and lead him all the way back to my house telling him that he was ok, that I loved him and that he was a good person. Back at my house he typed some poems that seemed to me to be saying that he really hated me and was in some way jealous, though I don't really know why- I'm not that great.
Ultimately, while it put me through utter hell, I hold no resentment. During an ego lessening experience, people can absolutely freak out and all the darkness inside them comes bubbling to the surface. What you saw in your friend is actually a pretty minor version of this. I've heard stories of people running naked down the street screaming homophobic and racist abuse. I think that sometimes when the ego feels threatened, if you aren't able to totally let it go, it sort of kicks into overdrive and all the brain's defence mechanisms go totally mad.
I'm still recovering from the shear trauma of having this dude freak out while I was on an absolutely huge dose of acid, but really, resentment isn't going to help. The girl wasn't ready for the experience and she freaked out- she probably shouldn't do psychedelics. Some people just can't handle the experience. It's not her fault and it's not your fault. It's just the way things played out. No reason to not be friends with her anymore unless it was so hard for you that you really can't face being around her.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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wildchild68
lion in a coma



Registered: 11/19/07
Posts: 5,115
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Fuck her man. You don't deserve that from a friend, especially a friend that provided her with some free mushrooms.
Psychedelics can bring out things in the back of the mind, and in my opinion that's what happened here.
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Bridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.




Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
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Quote:
EllisDSox said: On saturday a friend of mine had an absolute acid freak out, started screaming that he wanted to die and spouting really dark poetry. It totally destroyed my trip, and I eventually had to grab his hand and lead him all the way back to my house telling him that he was ok, that I loved him and that he was a good person. Back at my house he typed some poems that seemed to me to be saying that he really hated me and was in some way jealous, though I don't really know why- I'm not that great.
Ultimately, while it put me through utter hell, I hold no resentment. During an ego lessening experience, people can absolutely freak out and all the darkness inside them comes bubbling to the surface. What you saw in your friend is actually a pretty minor version of this. I've heard stories of people running naked down the street screaming homophobic and racist abuse. I think that sometimes when the ego feels threatened, if you aren't able to totally let it go, it sort of kicks into overdrive and all the brain's defence mechanisms go totally mad.
I'm still recovering from the shear trauma of having this dude freak out while I was on an absolutely huge dose of acid, but really, resentment isn't going to help. The girl wasn't ready for the experience and she freaked out- she probably shouldn't do psychedelics. Some people just can't handle the experience. It's not her fault and it's not your fault. It's just the way things played out. No reason to not be friends with her anymore unless it was so hard for you that you really can't face being around her.
thank you so much for this reply 
i'm not blaming her or me or the mush, like you said it's how things played out. i am her friend despite i knew or guessed that much before. she's gotten me out of a bad situation once and i owe her. although i consider i've been there for her enough to consider it repayed i don't resent her still - it just hurts me that she's the way she is and that she can't see herself in a way that would provoke mental growth in her. it hurts to see her trip over her shadows and fears over and over but i don't like turning my back on ppl that haven't specifically targeted me for the purpose of harming me.
she's the way she is and i'm the way i am, i guess that's why we're friends. and the first chance i'm gonna see her irl i'll tell her what happened and try to discuss it honestly because that's what i'd like a friend would do to me.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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ya this is the kinda thing she has to work out on her own
and it sounds to me like she wont be doing that any time soon or ever
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