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InvisibleBridgeburner
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holy shit
    #7955232 - 01/30/08 11:51 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

this sounds like a trip report but i don't mean it as such:

i just got back from a friends house. i put 3 dry grams into a cup, made tea of it and drank it with her. we both drank half a cup.

so she hasn't tripped at all before and i have dozens of times. and when she started tripping all that came out was: all my friends are jealous of me, everyone hates me, i never finish anything." and all that in a VERY negative way.

she was reduced into a child-like state and i was forced to babysit her. it's like she said what was truly on her mind although i could always sense that she was talking behind my back about me and about everyone else.

but i just couldn't believe it - she was talking about me like i wasn't there.

it was sad and i almost flipped out. i have never felt the TERROR or the rapid anxiety attack you may have under lsd or shrooms but i felt it: she was talking gibberish and truth at the same time like in a trance.

and she didn't think she was tripping, she was so absorbed in herself she thought it was normal. i asked her if she knew what day it was & what's her name, she looked at me like i was crazy and then told me i am shit and don't know anything about anything.

i always considered her my friend although i felt that i always have to defend her before others and watch my back with her but DAMN.

i just got back from her place and my trip was fucking awesome, she was just like a black hole of negativity.

any advice on how i should talk to her after she sobers up would be appreciated.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955244 - 01/30/08 11:55 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

weird.

like what was she sayin? She was talking about you like you wernt there?


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955248 - 01/30/08 11:58 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955251 - 01/30/08 11:59 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.





ohhhh....:what:

thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955260 - 01/30/08 12:03 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?

i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her

so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing

sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955265 - 01/30/08 12:04 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

suimush said:
Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.





ohhhh....:what:

thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.




see, that would actually be reinforcing his mask and making him an asshole, not her


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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955272 - 01/30/08 12:06 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

suimush said:
Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.





ohhhh....:what:

thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.




i gave her the shrooms, she was/is a newbie - i started it, i was responsible, i made myself the sitter, i had to be there for the whole trip. and so i did. when she was coherent enough i got the fuck out.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: holy shit [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #7955278 - 01/30/08 12:07 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
Quote:

suimush said:
Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.





ohhhh....:what:

thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.




see, that would actually be reinforcing his mask and making him an asshole, not her




well its totally reletive to what he felt to. Bored- was she like attacking you in a passive aggressive sorta way or was she analyzing your persona, if you know what i mean.

the way he made it seem to me was she was judging him, i personally cant trip around someone if i feel judged or attatcked. id have to leave for my well being.


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Edited by sui (01/30/08 12:08 PM)


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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #7955281 - 01/30/08 12:09 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?

i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her

so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing

sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences




she puts everyone down. she is living with her parents (like me) but she says she'll move soon and get a job (but never does). her parents push her and make her little, mine are supportive. to me it always looked as she felt so miserable about herself that the only way to forget it would to demean others. i just sat quietly and listened.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955283 - 01/30/08 12:09 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
Quote:

suimush said:
Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
no, she knew i was there, but she didn't care because i was so below her. that was the scary part.





ohhhh....:what:

thats the point where i would have left and not talked to her anymore.




i gave her the shrooms, she was/is a newbie - i started it, i was responsible, i made myself the sitter, i had to be there for the whole trip. and so i did. when she was coherent enough i got the fuck out.




good point. have you talked to her about it at all yet? If not see what she says and go from there. :shrug:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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InvisibleAnastomosisJihad
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955292 - 01/30/08 12:14 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Now both of you know how it is. She looks down on you, and you look down on her for looking down on you.

There are different kinds of friendship: utility friends, pleasure friends, and true friends. We gain material benefit from the relation with our utility friends and pleasure from the relation with our pleasure friends, but the relationship between true friends is not about what one receives from the other. True friends regard each other as good; each loves the other because he is good.

This girl is obviously not your true friend.


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955304 - 01/30/08 12:18 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
these things can happen. are you sure she was in a negative place, or maybe it was just you reacting negatively to what she had to say?

i think the reason why it felt like she was talking behind your back is because she on another level and she could see your mask and she wouldn't have been able to communicate to you with your mask on, she wanted you to drop the mask and be a child like her

so when you said "what day it was & what's her name" she could see you had no idea what she was actually experiencing and seeing

sorry if that's too blunt, that's just my opinion based on my experiences




she puts everyone down. she is living with her parents (like me) but she says she'll move soon and get a job (but never does). her parents push her and make her little, mine are supportive. to me it always looked as she felt so miserable about herself that the only way to forget it would to demean others. i just sat quietly and listened.




i am probably wrong then. that sounds like she was being negative, and since she's talking about people who aren't there she wasn't reacting to her environment but purposively laying negative shit on you. hopefully she got some catharsis from this


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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: AnastomosisJihad]
    #7955307 - 01/30/08 12:18 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

i didn't look down on her, i just accepted her like she was TO ME. i always knew she hid some deep emotional shit but today it all came out and it was ugly.


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OfflineRectul Threat
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955458 - 01/30/08 01:03 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

beat her.


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InvisibleDontPlay
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Re: holy shit [Re: Rectul Threat]
    #7955560 - 01/30/08 01:24 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?


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Offlinekrypto2000
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Re: holy shit [Re: DontPlay]
    #7955659 - 01/30/08 01:44 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Well why are you friends with this girl exactly? Regardless of this mushrooms trip you haven't mentioned any redeeming qualities about her.

I don't think you should demean her or anything, she's obviously having a tough time, but my recommendation would be to give her what advice you can, and then figuratively tell her to fuck off.


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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: DontPlay]
    #7955674 - 01/30/08 01:47 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

DontPlay said:
Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?




well, shrooms make you talk. they've made me talkative and i've just philosophized about life and laughed with some other friends.

with her it seemed she wasn't ready to let go, she re-inforced her insecurities with a mantra-like gibberish, every sentence seemed to begin with "i would/wouldn't" or "i am/aren't".

i wasn't imagining it. she made me sober up quick. she doesn't remember what she said at all and only said that it was like someone smarter was talking through her. and the more she glorified herself the more she belittled her friends.

one thing i distinctly remember was saying "yeah X (our mutual friend) only wants to paint because she wants to be as good as me, it's sad actually, pretty pathetic..." that sort of things.


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Invisiblesui
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Re: holy shit [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #7955720 - 01/30/08 01:55 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

b0red5tiff said:
Quote:

DontPlay said:
Tell her the shrooms never lie and shes a cunt. What exactly was she saying about you ? It all depends I guess, if it was something that made you think "why does she even hang out with me" then tell her to fuck off.Are you sure your not the one who was imagining that she was saying that stuff ?




well, shrooms make you talk. they've made me talkative and i've just philosophized about life and laughed with some other friends.

with her it seemed she wasn't ready to let go, she re-inforced her insecurities with a mantra-like gibberish, every sentence seemed to begin with "i would/wouldn't" or "i am/aren't".

i wasn't imagining it. she made me sober up quick. she doesn't remember what she said at all and only said that it was like someone smarter was talking through her. and the more she glorified herself the more she belittled her friends.

one thing i distinctly remember was saying "yeah X (our mutual friend) only wants to paint because she wants to be as good as me, it's sad actually, pretty pathetic..." that sort of things.





wow. I had a buddy like that, that was convinced he was the inspriation and driving force as to why i played guitar. :lol:

:shrug: she'll work it out. Personally i wouldnt give her anymore mushrooms. A real trip could either break the egocentric thinking or reinforce it. You turned her on, if shes interested enough she'll find them again.


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
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OfflineFraggin
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Re: holy shit [Re: sui]
    #7955773 - 01/30/08 02:05 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Sounds like she could benefit from more shrooms. Higher dose. Once you hit that level where you're experiencing yourself through other person's realities, you begin to see how flawed you are and can be. It's an epiphanie that you will remember when you're sober, and you will definitley not want to be that person you saw in your trip.

Make her your psychidelic pigmaleon and see how deep you can drag her into the rabbit hole. You never know, this trip may have saved a part of her life.

And I call BS on not remembering what she said. I/you/we always remember, we just use that excuse to escape the responsibility of our actions.


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InvisibleBridgeburner
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Re: holy shit [Re: Fraggin]
    #7955829 - 01/30/08 02:20 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

i concur with suimush. i wouldn't give her any substances at all like that. she needs to work some things out without them before she will ever be even remotely ready.


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