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awesomebastard
Lost



Registered: 12/16/07
Posts: 4,891
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My worst trips are my best trips.
#7952525 - 01/29/08 08:16 PM (16 years, 3 days ago) |
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Okay there seem to be alot of people struggling with bad trips on this site always quiting the drug before fixing the problem, one of my worst trips was my first ayahausca experience I will post my experience below if you care read it, it may help you if not just read this paragraph and write your opinion below.
I started fasting on friday and when the time came on saturday night i downed 1.5 grams of rue. I sat down and watched ninja warrior with my friends and as the hour came to an end i proceeded to kick them out( I wanted this to be a spiritaul experience and wanted to face it alone).I walked up to my room and drank the other half of the rue and then the mimosa 20 grams.
I remember grabbing the garbage can and heaving over the side as I did, my vomit became an infinently complex thing and the one vomit seemed to last an eternity this continued for a little while and i sat on my bed. I could feel a presence more terrifying than I have ever felt. It was as though a giant was walking twoards my window and was coming to fuck my shit up. I was staring at my wood grian closet door and the grians became a face this face was death it was everything I feared Its mouth opened and feeling overwelmed I started to freak the fuck out i started to feel as though no one cared about me and possibly for good reason. (I have been kicked out of my house and was a total asshat through most of my teen years) and yes im still a teen im 18).
The ayauhasca seemed to be getting stronger and stronger and I turned off my lights and walked to my bed. A landscape of faucets opened before me, It was two men one seemed very familiar and thats when he turned his eyes tword me. I asked where we had met before and he took me to my first shroom trip i was 16 agian and he was in the corner. DMT was the direct route to him, shrooms were a filtered mixed watered down way. His body was made entirely of faucets he seemed to exist in these faucets. I began to panick, I was tripping way too hard and this spirit was way to judgemental. I got up and sat on my floor my mind raced I could not fight it so i gave in.
I became the entity who existed in the faucets, and it became me. I saw my faucets and he showed me all of them one by one cause and effect. They were a web or grid of my experiences everything that made me who i am today I saw the reason for every action or thought i have ever taken/had. It was beutiful and terrifying. I was in wonder and ashamed. I realised i could never be perfect because, and told this entity that i was an idiot and needed its help to be the person i wanted to be it agreed but told me it would not help on a day to day basis when this drug wore off it would be gone. I then felt a love like i have never felt a river begin to run through my body and it cleansed my soul I sat in my chair and like a cutian being pulled down it was finished.
I realized that this entity was the incarnation of the oversoul or godhead I saw its nature, it exists in these faucets, our experiences everyone, humans, animals, bacteria, plants, everything.( I dont know if anyone else while on shrooms gets a visaul of a shroom with an eye on it, i get these all the time). We are all this entity and it is enlightenment and nirvana.
well thats it and im still not sure if this was actaully the godhead or just my mind but hey it was life changing either way. I now try to treat eveyone like they are myself becaause i feel that they are i dont judge others and get along great with my parents and family. For awhile i was getting siucidal and even indirectly attempted it a few times now i couldent love life more. i dont know but all my bad trips are always the most rewarding
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"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics." ~ C.J. Keyser Mr. Cypher said: "I just tell the girls how sexy I am and their panties melt."
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: My worst trips are my best trips. [Re: awesomebastard]
#7952554 - 01/29/08 08:19 PM (16 years, 3 days ago) |
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Yeah that's why I do agree that the term 'bad trip' can be misleading, they are often when you learn the most about yourself.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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JackTheBear
Pick Me I'm Clean



Registered: 09/27/07
Posts: 130
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Re: My worst trips are my best trips. [Re: awesomebastard]
#7952563 - 01/29/08 08:21 PM (16 years, 3 days ago) |
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On a certain level, we are all one.
Good story.
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