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psychejam
Musician
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Bad Trips and Recovering.
#7949256 - 01/29/08 06:14 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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For those of you who have experienced a psychedelic trip to hell and back, how long did it take for you to recover from the horrors that you were forced to witness? Maybe you haven't totally readjusted to normal reality just yet? Share your stories of pain, suffering and convalescense.
I had a fairly intense mushroom trip off an eighth about two months ago and am only *just* starting to feel 'normal' again. I guess the only things that are making me anxious these days are the slight lingering visual effects of the trip, which I'm sure will wear off with another 6 months or so. It's amazing how a few little floaters can piss you off so much.
Sharing is caring!
-------------------- "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?!"
Edited by psychejam (01/29/08 06:59 AM)
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,227
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#7949293 - 01/29/08 06:51 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Sounds like you were shocked to the core. What happened? What made it that horrible?
I very often have excruciatingly difficult trips when I take psychedelics. Usually though I manage to solve the issues within the trip and then all this suffering is rewarded by the latter part of the trip, which then is as profound in a good sense as the bad trip was bad.
For me the reward outweighs the suffering, Or I would've quit a long long time ago.
You however seemed to have bumped into an area of such unacceptability that yiu not just let it dominate the entire trip, but the period thereafter.
Usually it is lack of self-acceptance or being at war with life itself that drives conflicts like this.
What happened man, share what was so painful and so unacceptable.
And an eighth.. I haven't tripped on that much in this millennium. I left those doses behind me in the 1990s. More isn't always better. But I must add that 1/8oz on me has the effect 1/4oz has on most people.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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ShiftedAbsurdity
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Asante]
#7949301 - 01/29/08 06:57 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'd say I agree w/wiccan, but to comment further would definitely say you'd need to share =/
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Blend
afferent orchestra
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 2,956
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Asante]
#7949303 - 01/29/08 06:59 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said: And an eighth.. I haven't tripped on that much in this millennium. I left those doses behind me in the 1990s. More isn't always better. But I must add that 1/8oz on me has the effect 1/4oz has on most people.
I'm the same way. I've eaten a full eighth maybe three times, and I can't imagine going past that point. It's extremely intense; sometimes I don't even know if my eyes are open.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we both scored 'INFJ counselor-idealist' on the typology test?
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,227
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Blend]
#7949310 - 01/29/08 07:04 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we both scored 'INFJ counselor-idealist' on the typology test?
That sir warrants a poll *runs off to make it*
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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psychejam
Musician
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Blend]
#7949357 - 01/29/08 07:26 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't remember much of the trip, just some very mentally disturbing parts. For example, the point where I knew it was getting too intense for my liking really frightened me, as did the awakening of my third eye. That was f**king unexpected as hell. I had my eyes shut for a lot of the trip whilst lying on my bed, which, looking back, was a pretty shitty idea as it almost forced me to look "inside" my mind. I regret a lot of things regarding that night, such as not being brave enough to just face the fact that I ate too much and had to live with it for a few hours, as well as not trying hard enough to turn it into a good trip. I was too scared at the time.
I guess the reason why I decided to do an eighth was down to me feeling fine and having a blast off of 2.5 grams. Taking it that extra gram really f**ked me up the...er...ass.
Ever since the trip, I often feel not completely at home in my own head. I'm sure many of you can relate to how that feels - quite scary. I am feeling a lot better lately, as I am slowly but surely killing the anxiety by learning to live with whatever is bothering me. The floaters and visual static are a bitch though and I'm fairly positive that they are the main cause of whatever anxiety I have left in me.
I should add that it was a few weeks after this insane trip that the anxiety really kicked in, after smoking some herb one night. Haven't touched any drugs since, apart from big gay al(cohol).
So far, psychedelics have given me nothing but regrets. I guess some people are just aren't meant for them..
So that's my story.
-------------------- "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?!"
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MOTH
Wild Woman
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Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#7949372 - 01/29/08 07:36 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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My most horrific trip was the first time I dosed 5gs and lost all connection with reality. Everything exploded into golden rainbow bits enfolded by the cosmos. I thought I was in a mental institution and that everything else was a fantasy, and I spent hours of the trip just WAITING IN PANICKED TENSION to hear the Nurses voice, who would save me and draw me out of my madness. It was really horrific, but the reason why was because in my inexperience (this was about 4 years ago) was because I had fought the trip, instead of surrendering gracefully to it. When I came down, I was still tripping for about a month afterwards, experiencing severe symptoms of psychosis. The only thing that got me through was reading the Psychedelic Experience by Timothy Leary, getting interested in Buddhism, and then tripping a month later on a much smaller dose. My next trip was healing, and helped put the "big one" into perspective.
It was a learning experience though; if I hadn't had this insane trip, I would never have learned how important surrender, acceptance and flowing are to the mushroom experience. They are integral, in my opinion.
Anyway, that's my horror story. All the others pale in comparison. The only one that comes close is when I saw this kid shoot himself in the head while tripping on shrooms. I am still dealing with leftover trauma and integration from that trip...everytime I shroom, I relive it all over again. But I keep shrooming...because it's therapy for me.
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Blend
afferent orchestra
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 2,956
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: MOTH]
#7949379 - 01/29/08 07:42 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said: The only one that comes close is when I saw this kid shoot himself in the head while tripping on shrooms. I am still dealing with leftover trauma and integration from that trip...everytime I shroom, I relive it all over again. But I keep shrooming...because it's therapy for me.
Holy God. I can only imagine. I've had a hellish experience, my first, on 3.5g and this thought occurred to me, you know... if I could just get it to STOP. It's a horrible feeling. If only the poor kid could have waited an hour or so.
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BurningBeard
The IncomparableMr. Flannery
Registered: 01/23/08
Posts: 327
Loc: The bottom of the bottle.
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Blend]
#7949526 - 01/29/08 08:33 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wow. This one hits very close to home, as I had an awful trip just last Saturday. I put a report up here and have wanted someone to start some meaningful dialogue with me on the matter ever since. The report is at: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7936985/an/0/page/0
Fortunately, I think I've been able to come to terms with it now... only three days post trip. But that hasn't been without some serious effort on my part and some long dialogue with family and friends.
To incapsulate the mess... I took waaay too huge a dose of salvia 15x, left this plane of existence, and found myself bombarded, in the midst of a void, by this tangible evil... a sort of force pressing against me. When I came back down, the feeling of returning to my physical bodywas impacted further by talking, not realizing that my voice was my own, and hearing it three feet behind me, as though it belonged to someone else. Frightening, disturbing, but fortunately I've analyzed it and I think I know what went wrong. See the trip report for that bit.
-------------------- Daedalus, your child is falling and the Labyrinth is calling. Renegade heaps, humanity abandoned Bower of the vowels, you lit them and fanned them. Mercury, the courier, celestial messenger Bed with Dawn, your bride. Arrowhead of Diane, pierce the mind of a man, Tongueless muse of time
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Quilch
Noob
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: BurningBeard]
#7950379 - 01/29/08 01:08 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Maybe you guys just find some awesome stuff because about a week ago I did my largest dose and had visuals (things decaying and then 'un decaying') and I tend to get really deep (I tend to always look at how we (people) are just like any other organism living in a petri dish and how all (or most) our social interactions tend to be so empty...maybe it's just what i see in the people around me. Usually lasting only 5 hours at best.
Anyway back to point I did like 8 grams...does body weight affect the potency?
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Quilch]
#7950397 - 01/29/08 01:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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my first ego shatter is actually what brought me to this site. i needed help and consolation because no one in my circle of friends in my "real" life had experienced anything like what i went through, so it was tough finding some positive help. but after reading about ego loss and "bad trips" in general, i realized they are quite common and are actually deemed sometimes as the best trips because one can learn so much from them. since my first bad trip, i still haven't fully recovered, because i am not the same person i was prior to that trip. that isn't a bad thing, as i feel i have grown since then.
the original poster, i think you just need to accept your new window of perception and take a look at the positives that most likely came from it. it will most likely take time, as my first traumatic experience with psychs took place over 2 years ago, and i still think about it every other day.
good luck
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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Quilch
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam] 1
#7950426 - 01/29/08 01:31 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Please don't take this the wrong way but I almost wish I could have a bad trip just because it sounds so f*ucking intense....I'm sure if I did have a bad trip I would regret every word of that sentence but I'm sure you guys understand what I mean.
My next dosage I think is going to be 14 grams...
So during a bad trip it's just like even though you rode this roller coaster a thousand times suddenly something just seems wrong and you wanna get off but you can't?
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blood4blood
Calmer Than You Are
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 6,029
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Quilch]
#7950457 - 01/29/08 01:44 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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the worst ever for me was last weekend, or maybe the weekend before. but i did 5.5 grams (neveragain) and i was the only one not drinking while shrooming so all these vioelentdrunk tripping fuckers were scaring the shit out of me, and i kept snapping back into reality facing a wall in a corner in the dirtiest basement ive ever seen. i just kept ending up there, like that was my destination and there was no where else i could go. anyways it was extremly messed up and i hated it. but i talked myself through it but it took me a couple days to finially get grounded again.
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Quilch]
#7950470 - 01/29/08 01:46 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Quilch said: Please don't take this the wrong way but I almost wish I could have a bad trip just because it sounds so f*ucking intense....I'm sure if I did have a bad trip I would regret every word of that sentence but I'm sure you guys understand what I mean.
My next dosage I think is going to be 14 grams...
So during a bad trip it's just like even though you rode this roller coaster a thousand times suddenly something just seems wrong and you wanna get off but you can't?
every person's experience is different than any other's. i liken a bad mushroom trip to what i think insanity would be like. it's just pure utter "unrecognizle-until-you're-there hell". and underneath it, there is something familiar about it, and that can either cause you unease or comfort imo.
wanting a bad trip seems fine to me, it's just you wanting to experience the unknown, and that is what psychs are all about.
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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blood4blood
Calmer Than You Are
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 6,029
Loc: The Valley
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Quilch]
#7950482 - 01/29/08 01:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Quilch said:
My next dosage I think is going to be 14 grams...
your joking right?
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
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Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#7950582 - 01/29/08 02:20 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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During a 9g excursion I experienced the cosmic loneliness but was healed I guess by my own defense mechanisms because my brain experienced a mini-amnesia where the most mind blowing and too intense for the mind to take secrets were blocked from me for weeks after that experience. However, with more experience tripping and working through memories from the experience I remember and sort of understand what happened, now.
In fact, I awoke exactly six hours after I had taken the mushrooms and had no recollection but vague notions of what had just happened, if you want to read about it search for "The Ides of March."
I was recovered in that very night and actually felt like my head had just been cleaned out completely.
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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Konyap
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: mecreateme]
#7950708 - 01/29/08 02:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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bad trip to me is lookin in the past seein something you never saw then and saying aww shit wouldve i got myself into, thats why i think when i had an idea that i was gonna kick the bucket it seemed so real
one bad trip i looked back as if it was a lie and went to my own personal hell
another bad trip i looked back on life and thought wow that was intense, why the hell did i plan to OD today?
both times i felt something unrecognizable, one time dealing with it, another time conforming with it
tho im scared now cuz i dont wanna ruin nothin that i have feelings for
everything is one big
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Quilch
Noob
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Syle]
#7950750 - 01/29/08 02:58 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Syle said: wanting a bad trip seems fine to me, it's just you wanting to experience the unknown, and that is what psychs are all about.
Good to see someone completely understands.
As for the 14 grams - Yes my last 3 times tripping was around 8 grams and for certain reasons I will need to remain clean for a while and not have anything around me so I don't have the time to try like 10.5 so I figure I will just jump to 14. Who knows maybe it will be a stupid idea but I have never had any bad experiences with any drugs and dont fear I will (which I think is a part of it sometimes). I like to push things to the limit and see how far I can reach to the sun before I am burned.
I have a feeling 21 will come after 14g's. but we will see I get excited just thinking about it.
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Quilch]
#7950771 - 01/29/08 03:03 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Quilch said: Please don't take this the wrong way but I almost wish I could have a bad trip just because it sounds so f*ucking intense....
When it comes to mushrooms, intensity is never hard to come by for me. I can't even imagine 14 grams. Or even 7.
Quote:
So during a bad trip it's just like even though you rode this roller coaster a thousand times suddenly something just seems wrong and you wanna get off but you can't?
To me it's always a different roller coaster, but yeah. It almost always starts when I begin to get alarmingly higher than I had planned, and my mind starts saying "Oh man I wish this was over." Right there is where it turns bad, when you realize there is no escaping it... you can open your eyes, close your eyes, bury your head in a blanket, splash water on your face, but nothing has any effect. You want it to slow down, to stop, but instead it heinously accelerates you upward.
Resisting it and wishing it would end always makes it worse, but to relinquish all control and drift into insanity is also quite scary. The one thing you lose -- and that you didn't realize you had been holding onto your whole life -- is your composure. You get to see exactly how vulnerable you really are. You become confronted with the depravity of your selfish, animalistic desires for security and esteem. It gets pretty fucked up.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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blood4blood
Calmer Than You Are
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 6,029
Loc: The Valley
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7950816 - 01/29/08 03:15 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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just wait until you shit and piss yourself because you forgot how to do it on your own because you've lost all basic motor skills. then you'll know you've taken to much.
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: blood4blood]
#7950846 - 01/29/08 03:24 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
blood4blood said: just wait until you shit and piss yourself because you forgot how to do it on your own because you've lost all basic motor skills. then you'll know you've taken to much.
PS: i haven't gotten to that point before, but i am sure there is a lot of truth in this
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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DieSpectra
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: blood4blood]
#7950929 - 01/29/08 03:38 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I had a bad trip on about 5 grams a while back... I put myself into a bad head space after I drank a couple cups of mushroom tea. I was installing a new distribution of the ubuntu/linux os and I kept messing up the boot loader options so I got frustrated... Well as I really started to trip hard I was holding a big bundle of cds. I got the strangest sensation from the cds like these illusions : http://www.moillusions.com/2006/03/impossible-objects-in-real-life.html
But then all of a sudden I got a bad tingle in my arm like you get when you cut yourself. I thought I cut myself on the cds. I looked at my hands I thought they were covered in blood(really I guess they were just super flushed cause my heart was beating like crazy)
I went to wash it off but it didn't work and I finally realized it wasn't bleeding. But it was too late, I was already in hell. I could smell something burning and I was convinced the house was burning down for a time. That and I thought I was dying because I had taken some ibruprophen and thought it was having a fatal reaction with the mushrooms.
I ended up curled in a ball on the floor for about 2 hours. Convinced I was dying. It was like being inside of the most terrifying movie ever made.
I finally was able to pack a bowl of some buds and after I smoked it I was perfectly fine. I'm convinced that I cannot have a bad trip on mushrooms if I combine it with some cannabis.
I was fine the next morning. It was a horrible experience, but I was so fucked up that I have no bad feelings towards the experience now. It feels like I have seen death and I have nothing to fear anymore.
I have seen my pupils get large before, but my god I have never seen them that wide before... I virtually had no color in my eyes at all.
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Quilch
Noob
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: DieSpectra]
#7951420 - 01/29/08 05:08 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
DieSpectra said: I'm convinced that I cannot have a bad trip on mushrooms if I combine it with some cannabis.
And that's probly why you never will. I think that it's up to the individual where they go and if you are really planning to take a long trip make sure your in the right frame of mind. Which kind of sucks cause from that view point if u have a bad trip chances r you will be thinking about that next time u do shrooms.
but then again I guess sometimes it just happens....but I guess I really don't know...I guess hopefully I never will
I hope you all recover and keep enjoying mushrooms....sounds like a shitty place to find yourself
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SHHP0NGLE
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#16951895 - 10/02/12 01:29 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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I realize this thread is rather old but I don't know how to start my own and I'm desperately in need of some help.
I've been in love with the most wonderful guy for about 10 months now. We've had an unbelievably ideal relationship. This summer we experimented with a few types of psychedelics and had a great time each time. But half way through September I began to feel my first doubts in the relationship - as anybody does in a functional, healthy relationship.
Unfortunately it was at that time that we decided to have our last mushroom trip of the season. During that trip I began to feel like I no longer loved him at all and it was ripping me apart inside. I began screaming and sobbing and aching. No visuals but tons of pain. I felt cut off from my heart. My mind felt excruciatingly messed up.
After the trip I felt fine and we were fine. But since then (for 2/3 weeks now) I feel my mental and emotional state - in all areas - is just imbalanced. I still get these feelings and doubts but it feels as though I'm still caught in a bad trip I can't escape from. I don't want to feel this way. I feel hurt and torn up and confused about every area in my life and I don't know what to do or how to handle it.
I'm wondering if anyone knows how to help or can direct me to help somehow? Can bad trips have long term effects on your mental and emotional stability? It sure seems that way...
Someone please help. I feel as though I'm losing my mind, and my entire sense of self.
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Deadkndys420
The Psychedelic Messiah
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Posts: 4,405
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: SHHP0NGLE]
#16951919 - 10/02/12 01:35 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SHHP0NGLE said: I realize this thread is rather old but I don't know how to start my own and I'm desperately in need of some help.
To make a new thread just click 'Post' in the upper top right corner.
-------------------- Almond Flour said: Thats right. I take it up the ass on a daily. It feels great to finally let this out How to use PGP encryption The Stoner's Cookbook
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tayn01
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#22364764 - 10/11/15 06:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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my trip was my buddy made chocolate with very potent shrooms and without really knowing i ate 6 grams and we were sitting outside everyones having a good time then around the 45 min mark the outside a/c kicked on and it startled me and 5 mins after it just hit me so i freaked out went inside to go lay down that didnt help so i sat in my bathroom for 2 hours of intense fear and anxiety with the only thought of im dying. currently 2 months later im stilling recovering but i can say day by day it does get better however their will be hiccups down the road. best thing to do is try and be a little bit healthier good diet good hygiene and you most not touch any mind altering substance whats so ever (i was stupid and continued to do stupid stuff) but most importantly a good attitude hence the more you dwell the longer it will take to get back to healthy mental state.
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JuiceMSstankaloops
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: tayn01]
#22364771 - 10/11/15 06:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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benzos
xanax
amazing
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Gorlax
Registered: 05/06/08
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Ehh. I've had horrible fucking trips but I feel like I was back to normal by the next night. Maybe still fried a little bit but it's never carried over for more then 2 days. I still have the full memory of them because they were fucking insane. My 30mg 2C-I trip was probably my second most intense bad trip. I had a really shitty shroom trip that takes the #1 spot but that was due to eating the craziest strain I've ever had. Still to this day I can't figure out what strain they were but they were entirely blue and it wasn't bruising.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: psychejam]
#22364822 - 10/11/15 06:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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When I used to have bad trips from mushrooms I don't recall them Having any lasting negative effects.
Like I had many horrible trips but by the next morning I was fine.
-------------------- Everything I post is fiction.
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ByCoverOfNight
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Re: Bad Trips and Recovering. [Re: Moonshoe]
#23466280 - 07/22/16 02:33 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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For my fifth ever trip I ate 7 grams ( Cambodians ) within 3 days of the previous trip of 5 grams , during which I was on my mtn. bike on trail and was feeling so blissful, almost like on heroin, that I had to try hard to not close my eyes and nod off. It was the best. Well, I thought I'd need to boost the dose a couple of grams to compensate for having tolerance. Bad idea. I experienced a near complete breakdown. I was however conscious enough to realize that all the multiple personality phase shifting and distortions was my brain itself overwhelmed trying to process the flood of negative responses - basic neuro-physiological processes which were far beyond my own personality or self. I realized it was like a computer having a kernel panic, stuck in glitches, etc.. I had no visuals at all, just the sense of being caught up in a maddeningly intense, swirling black storm. Funny thing is at no point did my heart rate go up or my breathing change etc. ( I practice yoga and meditation so breath and heart rate regulation is instinctual). luckily I had some Xanax on hand to put a break on it, but the trip still lasted another 4 hours. Within an hour of the come-down all I could say was "I just experienced a nervous breakdown and that was the coolest thing ever" I was bathed in a beautiful afterglow the next day. It really just comes down to your ability to endure pain. At some point in your panic mode you just have to say "I surrender" and just hit bottom, you'll come back into a place where you'll start to remember yourself and get re-oriented. "Bad trips" are great if you can just accept them for what they are and not obsess over them. Just move on and live in the present moment. In a way that surprises me, I wouldn't mind having another bad trip even worse than that one just because my brain mapped territory then that I couldn't possibly have explored without it. Of course, I'll have the Xanax nearby.
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