|
Anonymous #1
|
Please READ - Relationship/sociology question.
#7744819 - 12/11/07 12:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
IT is my real life though and I want to remain anonymous. Kind of a long read but it's a deep look into 2 people.
I wrote this to my ex after not being together for 3-4 months. We did go out for 4-5 years.
Quote:
PLEASE Read This Thing. The whole thing - all the way through.
Please atleast consider what I'm saying . We don't really talk much anymore and I don't know what your life is like. But mine is hell withought YOU.
If you remember I was trying to fix this relationship before you left. You never wrote, granted you called a good bit more. THEN the whole Mike thing. I dunno, I was drinking alot then and hanging out with that fucking homewrecker Merrilee. Fuck, I made the decision on my own. I think I was very pissed at that time though - maybe I wanted to make you jealous for the whole mike thing. I read your last letter, where you told said "The thing is,I want you to know what it's like to be with other people so we can be happy together forever and not want to cheat after 10 years. I can't be like Mary and knowingly let you fuck nasty,disease ridden sluts. I will never cheat on you and will be happy just for the rest of my life. I want you to have that experience SAFELY and don't ever want to know who,what, when or why or even know anyone knows that it doesn't get back to me, I know it sounds stupid but I don't you could be happy with just me without playing the filed a little and knowing what it's like." I didn't want to cheat on you so I ended it.
The field sucks, the players are not and never will be anything like you no matter what. I see this now - and I hope you actually haven't fallen in "love" with Mike or anything. I figured it was a rebound jealousy thing or at least that's what I hope. Deep down you know we are meant for each other - I know you fucking love me with everything you have. I hope you can see past your ego and just move on together. This is exactly what we needed. I've realized how much I've taken you for granted, while hogging up every spare minute of your time.
Soo god damn selfish I was, I want to hang out with all your friends with you now, EVEN the ones I hate. I want to eat with your family, I want to go to raquette and let you drag me anywhere you want. I want to be with you every minute that I can. Without fucking your school up, while giving you space. Whatever you need. I want to fucking marry you, I love you. I want to improve every fucking stupid thing that I did. When you left I was trying to fix us, but I never noticed or understood the absolutely retarded things I did that you probably fucking Hated. The time was come to stop treating you like shit (No that I was ever intending to do that and I'm can't even apologize enough for doing) - and get my god damn Rebekahkorn back
I know you were/are ridiculously pissed at me for ending it. I acted like I didn't care that we broke up for soo long. I said that we needed to end it, it was time. All of that stupid bullshit. Looking back this is what makes me feel the worst. I was just scared and trying to do new things so I let me ego take hold.
Now, I've realized I want to be with you. I want to be an adult with you. I'm, done being some broke ass bum party-guy anymore. I want to do something with my life and I want you to be there with me. " We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of our single bed" I had to put those lyrics in there because it's the best and simplest way to describe it. I don't even care if we don't have a bed. Or a TV or any of that shit. I could be in a bare empty house with just you and be in nirvana.
So back to your letter, I did that. You've done that.
I know your reading this like WTF?! This is the most sincere thing I've ever fucking written. I woke up this morning and knew this is what I had to do today - and of course I had no idea what I was going to write. So at work I came up with an idea or two to express. What I had came up with at work just got deleted while editing this. Just a fraction of what this letter is. This whole fucking things just came out of me without any effort. My fingers just kind of took over and my thoughts just naturally came out - This is the best thing I've ever written because of the honesty alone.
This is all that I can do at this point. The rest is up to you - and how you want to live. All I'm offering is the guy you someday thought I would grow into. Here I am. Ready to be with you more then ever. I love you I know you still love me Forward this or not. I don't care who knows. Delete this and never mention it again if you want. OR you could call me before 4 or after 8 tomorrow.
You are my one and only one, Evan
This is way over-due and that's all I can say. I hope you feel the same way.
To wich I recieved this from her :
Quote:
Wow. I get what you're saying and not a day goes by that I don't think about you and miss you just a little. You were my best fucking friend and lover for almost 5 years. I shouldn't have said that stupid shit in the letter. I never wanted you to cheat on me but I wanted you to be happy with just me forever. I was hating you a lot this summer and was really happy when we finally just called it quits. I hooked up with the guy I liked there and have already broken his heart and feel horrible about it. I'm not "in love" with Mike but we have a lot in common. He does all the things you said you want to start doing like hanging out with all my friends, eating with my family, keeping me company while I do homework for hours and wants to come to Raquette. You know I can't do anything without crying so I'm sobbing into my cereal. Everything I see reminds me of you and I can't tell any stories from the past 4 and a half years that don't involve you. Like I saw a bumper sticker that said 'Les Claypool for president' and another one that said 'This aggression will not stand, man'. In a way, I love what your saying and want to just go back to you and me, but I'm really happy with how things are going right now. I know you're getting your life together and I'm really proud of you for that. I'm sorry to say this, but it's too late now. You were my real first and only love and I will always love you and have you somewhere in my heart. We were pretty perfect and I loved just about every thing we did and every minute we were together. You were in my dream last night. I miss and love you so much but I can't go back now. I know your letter was really honest and I appreciate that. Mike doesn't like you or your friends (except Alex) just because he feels like you were all shitty to me. I want to be your friend now but things can never be the same. Me and Alex are gonna go bowling over X-mas break so maybe you could come too. I probably won't get a chance to call you this week because we have exams and a shitload of projects due. I have to shower, dress up and give a 5 minute presentation on communicating with signs today. So, thank you for your sincere letter and know that it does hurt me to say no, but I am happy with how things are. I do miss you and I want you to be happy too. I will always be your Rebekahcorn. I wasn't pissed at you for ending it, I was actually quite happy after I got over the initial ego-crushing and realized that is what we needed. I'm really sorry, and I still feel bad for not rushing right over to be there for you when Samson died. You were my one and only one but can't be anymore. I'm still sobbing and missing you more than ever but we need to move on with our lives. You weren't great all the time, but you were there for me and wonderful the majority of the time and I always knew how much you loved me. I'm sorry for any shit I put you through. I think you would like what we're doing this year. We're actually designing stuff and learning but it's super time-consuming. It takes even more time than the shit we had to do last year but at least now I can see how it relates to design. I gotta get that shower and practice presenting. Thank you for being sincere and I'm sorry I can't come back to you. Good luck with everything you do and I hope you find happiness. Love, your Rebekahcorn
What would you think of that? What do you make of that.
She is now with a guy 7-8 years older then her, who just treats her right. Something I'm trying to do.
Now, This new guy comes in with this message
Quote:
Let me make this really simple. I'm not going to mix words or waste words. I'm going to be really friendly about this and suggest that back off....you dig.
She is not a violent person at all - quite the hippie. I'm thinking I will have to compose a great message about how this guy is older, fatter (I mean FAT), is a volent fuck, and how I want more then anything to be with her.
What's your make on this everyone? (OTD guys are smart, I hope they pop in with some wisdom as well)
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7744825 - 12/11/07 12:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Remember too, we were in a relationship for 4-5 years. Not quite some on and off again shit.
This guy is also a rebound looser, if you ask me.
I just had to throw this last bit in.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7745106 - 12/11/07 01:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I'm on the way to work and just sent her this as well.
Quote:
Meh, that last message was a crankey one.
Just atleast look at your situation and look who your with. Someone quite a bit older then you. Who happens to treat you nice. Not stooping to any level and talking smack, those are facts. He's a rebound/pissed/jealousy type.
I just want you to know that you deserve to be treated better then I ever did to you. Let me show you I've changed. I want to get you whatever your want when your friend in the bed, hog the sheets, control the remote, hog the water in the shower : )
I want to make you happier then I ever did. Happier then Mike ever could. What I'm looking for a SERIOUS relationship. Let me be the guy I wasn't before. Let me make up for lost time.
For christ sakes, this guy is threatening me already :/ What is all this crap about? I semi-understand but it is wierd ass backwards way of getting around it. Quite honestly, I will take that asskicking from all his friends to be with you - I don't care.
Perhaps, I just don't think you see this guy for what he is. You didn't take my word on this the first time 
I'm sorry if your confused or if I'm fucking with your head, I can't help myself and how much I want to be with you and treat you like I never have. Wish you could see inside of my head for just a few seconds, that's all it would take.
Just call and talk to me please, I won't whine or beg. Just want to talk to you for whatever time you feel like giving me.
Think about what I've said. Think about us. This is what we needed - I'm ready to be more committed to you then I have ever been before. The thing is though, I'm not being forced or feel pressured. I want to do this, I want to make you my fucking queen.
I will not suck a toe though. And sadly, I also have no side-hatch. I will buy you Zanzibar 
Patiently waiting for you, E
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7745241 - 12/11/07 02:06 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I'm not reading all that.
Summarize.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7745263 - 12/11/07 02:10 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Meh, just get to the point and stop sending all those long winded and desperate love letters. Tell her you just want to the dry smash the shitbox.
|
Anonymous #4
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7747171 - 12/11/07 09:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I want to hang out with all your friends with you now, EVEN the ones I hate. I want to eat with your family, I want to go to raquette and let you drag me anywhere you want. I want to be with you every minute that I can. Without fucking your school up, while giving you space. Whatever you need. I want to fucking marry you, I love you. I want to improve every fucking stupid thing that I did. When you left I was trying to fix us, but I never noticed or understood the absolutely retarded things I did that you probably fucking Hated.
this is bullshit. pure bullshit don't fucking kid yourself.
I lost some chick after almost 5 years. I was 18-23 with her. Thats a big piece of a persons life at this age. I'll be 25 real soon, it wasn't that long ago. I can understand why you feel like this. I was sad that it came to an end. but i see things differently.
Losing her was the best thing that ever happened to me. yes she was wonderful. first true love and all that shit. I grew up with her. but shit ends for a reason, and you sure as hell can't force change. You can't MAKE things different you can't MAKE things better. You have to roll with the fucking punches.
i don't hold onto these attachments. Other than memory. When she left i didn't even shed one tear until about 4 months later. She brought my ghetto ass some food one day. she knew i was too ghetto to buy food other than potatoes and bread. she walked into the kitchen through the back door carrying a few bags of food like she had done countless times i cried later when she was gone i wasn't crying in self pity I missed her. i was crying for the memories all the wonderful times
i saw the beauty in the change. Just let go. This is going to happen over and over again through life there is beauty in this pain stop being a fucking pussy and enjoy this part of life. its wonderful.
--------- it's the same as before or the other time or the time before that. here's a cock and here's a cunt and here's trouble.
only each time you think well now I've learned: I'll let her do that and I'll do this, I no longer want it all, just some comfort and some sex and only a minor love.
now I'm waiting again and the years run thin. I have my radio and the kitchen walls are yellow. I keep dumping bottles and listening for footsteps.
I hope that death contains less than this.
------Charles Bukowski
|
Anonymous #5
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#7747454 - 12/11/07 10:49 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Dude you have got a lot to learn.
You never should have talked with her or even mailed her. Plus, your content in those letters is 100% truly pathetic, truly. That probably kind of hurts to hear from someone but it is the truth, learn from the mistake you made.
She clearly said "no" to you, and clearly told you she is happier with this other guy, so let them be and move on with your own life.
Then you actually made a second reply to her begging again after she said "no" to you, and that made you look 100X's even more pathetic.
Like the Beatles sang, "Let It Be".
If I was you I would never give that girl another single milli-second of my time. And have -zero- contact with her for the rest of my life.
She had kind of rude and uninterested/unconcerned over-tones in her reply, eating a fucking bowl of cereal, saying she doesn't have time to type anymore because shes too busy with other stuff like washing her hair ect.
It is time for you to be a man about it, and move on with your life.
Oh, and you should have dry smashed her shit box the last time you did it with her.
|
Anonymous #6
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7938865 - 01/27/08 01:42 AM (16 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Like others have said, cut your losses and move on.
I don't mean to beat a dead horse here, but I just wanted to toss in my 2cents.
I married my high school sweet heart. 12 years later I realize that I threw away the best years of my life. I did not have the chance to live my life the way I really wanted to live it during that age. (18 to 30)
We had a daughter when we were 24. Two years after she was born we went threw some hard times as we were both starting to figure out that we are quite different people. We are still together and love each other very much. But single life would have been different and we both would have chosen different path's.
Picture yourself with this girl 5, 10, 15 years down the road. Do you REALLY think it would have worked out?
in my opinion, you should go out to a club, get some weekend p-tang, and enjoy being yourself.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #6]
#7942351 - 01/27/08 08:00 PM (16 years, 23 days ago) |
|
|
TOO LONG; DIDN'T READ
quit being a queer bat and get over her. there is a lot more to life than relationships. i know you're not going to do anything proactive, so enjoy your misery as life drags you through the shit you refuse to clean yourself.
|
Anonymous #8
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7944105 - 01/28/08 07:13 AM (16 years, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Yeah she basically said GOODBYE at the end of her first reply. Your 2nd letter was mighty false, sad and unnecessary - if she's smart she won't reply at all.
I'm sorry for your loss but it is probably for the best. Right now you're probably just doubting the possibility of finding anything like that ever again, and it may take longer than you want but you'll have to get over all of this, learn from it, grow and you'll be ready again - and when that time comes, it'll be even better.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Please READ - Relationship/sociology question. [Re: Anonymous #8]
#7948512 - 01/28/08 11:35 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: Yeah she basically said GOODBYE at the end of her first reply. Your 2nd letter was mighty false, sad and unnecessary - if she's smart she won't reply at all.
I'm sorry for your loss but it is probably for the best. Right now you're probably just doubting the possibility of finding anything like that ever again, and it may take longer than you want but you'll have to get over all of this, learn from it, grow and you'll be ready again - and when that time comes, it'll be even better.
apt description of his second letter.
|
|