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Kid_Orgo



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 5,514
Loc: Hale-Bopp
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Can you really avoid love?
#7947689 - 01/28/08 08:58 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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My best friend had a relationship with a guy who then became my friend. They really loved eachother, and I like both of them a lot. Then they broke up.
The breakup was like watching a fucking car accident. Both leveled, the guy still hasn't recovered (this was a year ago)
I found myself thinking, now, stay the fuck out of love, because that shit sucks like ass cancer.
I'm wondering if you really can avoid love. I mean, I know you don't have a choice when you fall in love, but can't you just not try?
I'm thinking of holding out until I meet some women way smarter than I am. (That way whenever I get nagged into doing something, it'll be the right thing to do anyway)
-------------------- He was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fights. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7947695 - 01/28/08 08:58 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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I'm sure some people are capable of turning their backs on it. Myself? Impossible. I'm wired for it.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7947697 - 01/28/08 08:59 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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It's better to have loved and lost than never...
ah fuck it. Girls suck.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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BoneMan
Shrimpin ain't easy


Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,032
Loc: new new england
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: g00ru]
#7947772 - 01/28/08 09:10 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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It'll find you eventually. I don't actively seek out women, relationships or love but they all find their way into my life on a consistent annual cycle.
I just feel bad for the poor bastards who obsessively seek out love and all their efforts fail on account of being overly needy and eager. Or the ones who are just fat or ugly and are pursuing a partner that is very attractive. Poor bastards.
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Innominate


Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,136
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: BoneMan]
#7947791 - 01/28/08 09:13 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Love makes the world go 'round.
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MrMaddHatter
Dementia praecox



Registered: 06/07/02
Posts: 1,420
Loc: Everywhere
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: BoneMan]
#7947793 - 01/28/08 09:13 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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I lived with and loved a girl for 5 years and after that it fell apart. I haven't felt the same since about any girl. Weird.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7947808 - 01/28/08 09:15 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
a lot of people use the word or claim to feel 'love' but most of them don't know what it is outside of television/movies or infatuation
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5] 1
#7947814 - 01/28/08 09:16 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
demius said: if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
a lot of people use the word or claim to feel 'love' but most of them don't know what it is outside of television/movies or infatuation
If you think you're in love, then you are.
And IMO the duration of love has nothing to do with its legitimacy.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Innominate


Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,136
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: MrMaddHatter]
#7947818 - 01/28/08 09:17 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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After 5 years it must be rough. I've been with my girl for 3 and even though I want to (and have) fuck(ed) around with other girls if I lose her it would suck to say the least. Actually I have once, not too long ago. I think I made like 3 or 4 threads crying about it.
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MrMaddHatter
Dementia praecox



Registered: 06/07/02
Posts: 1,420
Loc: Everywhere
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: g00ru]
#7947827 - 01/28/08 09:18 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Sometimes people confuse love with lust. IMO
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Kid_Orgo



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 5,514
Loc: Hale-Bopp
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5]
#7947828 - 01/28/08 09:18 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
demius said: if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
Total agreement.
I'll talk about love when I'm 40.
-------------------- He was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fights. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙


Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,417
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 2 hours, 54 minutes
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5]
#7947833 - 01/28/08 09:19 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
demius said: if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
Fuck yes it can be! 
Love is a word, and like many words imperfect and subjective. Very apparent to me though - and however painful at times, well worth it.
The associated Heaven and Hell are ultimately in your own hands.
--------------------
-------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
Edited by geokills (01/28/08 09:27 PM)
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d


Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7947839 - 01/28/08 09:20 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kid_Orgo said:
Quote:
demius said: if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
Total agreement.
I'll talk about love when I'm 40.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: g00ru]
#7947853 - 01/28/08 09:22 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said:
Quote:
demius said: if it doesn't last, do you really think it was love?
a lot of people use the word or claim to feel 'love' but most of them don't know what it is outside of television/movies or infatuation
If you think you're in love, then you are.
And IMO the duration of love has nothing to do with its legitimacy.
and what about all those other things throughout life you *thought* were something that turned out not to be (correct/incorrect, etc...)?
how does *thinking* one is in love actually make it so?
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5] 1
#7947863 - 01/28/08 09:23 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Just because it ends doesn't mean it wasn't love.
Any attempt to define love for all people is simply useless...love is a connection. And everyone connects to everyone else in a completely unique manner. One's own perception of that connection is the only thing that matters.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d


Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5] 1
#7947865 - 01/28/08 09:24 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Love is all in my head, the question is, which one?
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: demiu5]
#7947868 - 01/28/08 09:24 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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I've never been in love so I really cannot explain it. It is impossible to explain what you have not experienced.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d


Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Quote:
OneLessForeskin said: Just because it ends doesn't mean it wasn't love.
Any attempt to define love for all people is simply useless...love is a connection. And everyone connects to everyone else in a completely unique manner. One's own perception of that connection is the only thing that matters.
You just said love is connection for everyone thus defining it.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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MrMaddHatter
Dementia praecox



Registered: 06/07/02
Posts: 1,420
Loc: Everywhere
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Quote:
And everyone connects to everyone else in a completely unique manner. One's own perception of that connection is the only thing that matters.
True. But if the other person doesn't feel (for whatever reason down the road) the love, is it truly a connection. Love takes two right? Otherwise its fantasizing after a while.
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Colbadol
Reality Mechanic


Registered: 03/05/05
Posts: 1,722
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7947899 - 01/28/08 09:29 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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i could easily go through life not being influenced by love. It's just reason. I could name many priorities which are much higher on the totem pole than love and relationships. But then again i dont really value LOTS of people i come into contact with. Just dont tell my girlfriend that.
It all depends on how many people you come into intimate contact with...by intimate i mean a conversation. It's just probability. I dont come across many.
--------------------
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MrMaddHatter
Dementia praecox



Registered: 06/07/02
Posts: 1,420
Loc: Everywhere
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Colbadol]
#7947934 - 01/28/08 09:34 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
i could easily go through life not being influenced by love. It's just reason. I could name many priorities which are much higher on the totem pole than love and relationships. But then again i dont really value LOTS of people i come into contact with. Just dont tell my girlfriend that.
It all depends on how many people you come into intimate contact with...by intimate i mean a conversation. It's just probability. I dont come across many.
Very well said.
My work took over after my old chick and me split. Seems I have more important things to think about these days.
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: MrMaddHatter]
#7947982 - 01/28/08 09:42 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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"Falling in Love" means your lover begins to trigger your amygdala to release a heavy dose of peptides that are as addictive as Heroin.
"A broken heart" is the painful withdrawal from the trigger of these peptides.
It is possible to learn to autonomously "fall in love" in general without becoming addicted to a specific trigger.
True love = unconditional adoration + non-dependency, polyamory FTW.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Middleman]
#7947994 - 01/28/08 09:45 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
Middleman said: "Falling in Love" means your lover begins to trigger your amygdala to release a heavy dose of peptides that are as addictive as Heroin.
"A broken heart" is the painful withdrawal from the trigger of these peptides.
True love = unconditional service + non-dependency, polyamory FTW.
I love breaking down intangible emotions into chemical terms.
For some reason this doesn't diminish love to me at all.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: g00ru] 1
#7948040 - 01/28/08 09:54 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Me neither.
My point is that love doesn't need to have a specific person to trigger it and thus it doesn't have to hurt or end.
Most of our tendencies towards monogamy, possessiveness, and jealousy are strictly conditioned...
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vitadura
Dream Seeker


Registered: 03/11/07
Posts: 451
Loc: Here, Now
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7948186 - 01/28/08 10:24 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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I'm not very old and consequently not very experienced, but I've found that the thought of being in a relationship completely turns me off. I'm so turned away by people who want to "date", and I just don't find talking on the phone for hours about "how cute you are" and "how much I love you" appealing. Nor do I desire going to the movies arm-in-arm, spending all my time with one person and one person alone, or holding hands in public. I barely find sex or intimacy appealing at this point in my life, either. (Yea, I find it a little weird myself.)
So I think sometimes you can get turned off by "love", but I don't believe you can control it (as to say, "avoid" it). I've had some exciting times in the bedroom and I've had some wonderful relationships. But I'm just not looking for that connection with another person right now. I'm sure that if/when the time is right, though, it will happen.
Interesting topic and responses. I like thinking how "falling in love" and "heartbreak" is chemical, yet how less tangibly, "love is connection".
-------------------- "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
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eligal
Noobie



Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7948275 - 01/28/08 10:48 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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Love can be avoided, but not stopped!
hehe... Im sure isolating yourself from any people of the gender which you fancy will add to help from falling in love, and isolation of your emotions is also possible. Both are not healthy...
Why worry about it? You sound young, just go out and live! "Its better to have love and lost then to have never loved before" or how ever that saying goes... 
Btw, I am in love and it sucks
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙


Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,417
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 2 hours, 54 minutes
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Middleman]
#7948281 - 01/28/08 10:49 PM (16 years, 4 days ago) |
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I love Where the Wild Things Are! 
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion



Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#7948652 - 01/29/08 12:01 AM (16 years, 3 days ago) |
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>I'm thinking of holding out until I meet some women way smarter than I am. (That way whenever I get nagged into doing something, it'll be the right thing to do anyway)
I've heard of being picky, but that's a vow worthy of a Catholic priest.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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Derk
Friend


Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 272
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Colbadol]
#7959996 - 01/31/08 12:23 PM (16 years, 1 day ago) |
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I've never been in love, so idk
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forbiddendonut
Awesome



Registered: 04/29/07
Posts: 623
Loc: England
Last seen: 7 years, 22 days
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Derk]
#7960402 - 01/31/08 02:21 PM (16 years, 1 day ago) |
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There are some people that are incapable of falling in love. Like, genetically incapable. Lucky bastards
--------------------
What's a shroom?
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gENERIX
/usr/bin/drinking?



Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 5,697
Loc: Skyward Bound
Last seen: 3 months, 7 days
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Re: Can you really avoid love? [Re: Colbadol]
#7960610 - 01/31/08 03:04 PM (16 years, 1 day ago) |
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I seem to always stay away from relationships. I have been in a number of them and they always seem to be more hastle than they are really worth. My mates are always stressing over problems in a relationship, i feel i have enough on my shoulders without going through it all.
I do feel love catches up with you in the end but i dont go out looking for it.
As they said in Goodfellas:
Quote:
Tommy DeVito: Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.
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