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OfflineLion
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A journey inward
    #7933893 - 01/26/08 08:08 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

Last night I took an 8th of dried mushrooms, chopped up and left to sit in not a little lemon juice for about ten minutes. I dosed at around 8:30, after having eaten a light breakfast and lunch and abstained from food or drink since about 1 pm. To prepare for the trip I read a great deal, sat in meditation for a bit, and did hatha yoga.

I read After the Ecstacy, the Laundry, by Jack Kornfield, a book about the unfolding of spiritual paths that I'm really savoring. I also read the middle brown pages of Ram Dass's Be Here Now, and as always I felt as if I was reading them with fresh eyes, and all the insights were new.

On the come-up and for about an hour into the trip I sat in mindfulness meditation, as well as doing some walking meditation. This seemed to open up a lot of inner space, and more importantly it lightened my lofty expectations by helping me see the ways in which I always set myself up for disappointment by expecting a totally reality-shattering trip.

After meditation I sat on my meditation cushion and put on my headphones, listening to Lama Surya Das's Chants to Awaken the Buddhist Heart. Throughout the trip I worked with two mantras:

Om Mani Padme Hum

and

Om Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha

(gone, gone, gone beyond, gone beyond beyond; hail the goer!)

The former was really powerful in creating an open space in my heart for reflection and a bit of self-discovery. The process of self-discovery is a slow tearing away of layers, and while the fire was (and is) hot within me to fully loosen the grasp of the ego, my major work lately has been trying to cultivate an attitude of patience.

The trip was mild and relaxing. I spent its entirety meditating, reading Be Here Now, drawing, listening to music, and doing asanas.

After crawling into bed, I had a really wonderful night. My dreams were mostly strange and peaceful, and I felt more like the observer than the participant (compared with my usual samsaric dreams which leave me very distraught and uneasy). I would wake up from time to time and feel awesome sensations of a burning light in my chest and the expansion of my heart past the physical boundaries of my body.

Then, the most amazing part of the trip happened. I had a dream about the police raiding my house looking for narcotics. After this dream my body felt an intense burning sensation all over, and I seemed to be calmly witnessing it, disconnected.

This triggered an awesome sequence; with great lucidity, I felt myself as my body, standing in front of my house; then, I watched as I was elevated above my house, traveling over my neighborhood, then through the sky, into the clouds, and into a series of astoundingly colorful and dynamic astral realms. There was just a point of consciousness flying through the cosmos, one with it all. Then a thought came to me: "I am headed for the Van Allen Belt. I am going to be crisped. This is the end of the ego!" So, of course, I opened my eyes a little, trying to be as aware as possible; the instant this happened, I woke up, and I was staring at my ceiling fan.

The rest of the night I lay in bed, with

Om Mani Padme Hum

reverberating within. The rest of my sleep was peaceful.

I woke up this morning and sat zazen, and ate some breakfast. Something I had hoped would happen today did not, and I am feeling largely confused and sad. Still, I honor this state as a natural progression in mind's discovery of its own nature.


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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Offlinedirtworshipper
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Re: A journey inward [Re: Lion]
    #7933998 - 01/26/08 08:39 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

Sounds like a good time, my friend
:smileyfrog:
Do you use a mala to help keep the mind on the mantra?

The last time I tripped, I did my daily hatha sequence and spent the rest of the trip smoking some Heavenly sinsemilla, thanking Shiva for that sinsemilla (Om Shiva Shankare Hare Hare Ganga), and listening to Bhagavan Das' kirtan and studio albums. I would have most definitely been reading Be Here Now if I hadn't let my friend borrow it. Have you ever read Bhagavan Das' autiobiography (It's Here Now (are you?))?? If not, you should definitely check that out; you will love it!

I just recently got a set of tabla and a dotar (two stringed instrument used in India to sing bhajans, solely for the drone).

Expecting things can easily lead to suffering.
Accepting those things is the road away from suffering.

Om Shanti!
Om Shanti!
Om Shanti!


--------------------

“You've got as many lives as you like, and more, even ones you don't want.” - George Harrison


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OfflineLion
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Re: A journey inward [Re: dirtworshipper]
    #7934035 - 01/26/08 08:55 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

I don't have a mala - when I find out what one is, maybe I will buy one! :grin:

Last time I smoked cannabis

Om Shiva Shankara Hare Hare Ganja

helped me a lot. 

I will check out Bhagavan Das's biography...thanks for the recommendation.

I should also add I listened to Krishna Das last night before going to sleep...the perfect way to end a day.

Bhajelo-ji Hanuman!


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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Offlinemannyrigs
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Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 41
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Re: A journey inward [Re: Lion]
    #7934180 - 01/26/08 09:58 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

Honestly, boring trip. Im more into getting a bunch of friends together, All tripping balls having the greatest time of your life. But i guess your into that meditation scene...

Anyway, Good vibesss


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Offlinedirtworshipper
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Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 2,060
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Re: A journey inward [Re: Lion]
    #7934315 - 01/26/08 10:43 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

A mala is basically a beaded string; used to recite mantras. Or to "count" them, although I've never been big on counting.
Very similar to a "rosary" or "chokti"; and according to Wikipedia, "mătănii" in Russian.. very similar. I often believe Eastern Orthodox Christians probably got the idea of a "prayer rope" from the Hindu mala.

There are some really nice malas here. Japa Mala

Bhagavan Das' book is one of my favorites. I read it almost entirely in two sittings. His honesty is so humbling. And him describing his first LSD experience brought tears to my eyes. :rofl:

I'm so grateful that I got the chance to sing and chant with Bhagavan Das
:smileyfrog:

I've been looking to get a new, larger sized Rudraksha mala. I'll pass my current Rudraksha on to you if you'd like.


--------------------

“You've got as many lives as you like, and more, even ones you don't want.” - George Harrison


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OfflineLion
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Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
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Re: A journey inward [Re: mannyrigs]
    #7934317 - 01/26/08 10:44 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

mannyrigs said:
Honestly, boring trip. Im more into getting a bunch of friends together, All tripping balls having the greatest time of your life. But i guess your into that meditation scene...

Anyway, Good vibesss


:lol:  I feel you, man.  For me, I am usually overwhelmed by my energy in a situation where I'm tripping with others, and it can make me really paranoid or just totally dumbfounded and spaced out.  It's always a lot of fun, especially those stretches where you just laugh your ass off endlessly, until you're crying.  But a solo trip of this nature was definitely what I needed.


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedirtworshipper
Sitting in the heart cave
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 2,060
Loc: at The Guru's lotus feet
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: A journey inward [Re: mannyrigs]
    #7934329 - 01/26/08 10:46 AM (16 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

mannyrigs said:tripping balls having the greatest time of your life.




:yesnod:
that's what he was doing too, I bet

It's All the Same


--------------------

“You've got as many lives as you like, and more, even ones you don't want.” - George Harrison


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