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nightkrawler
explorer


Registered: 06/18/04
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post office drug test
#7914321 - 01/22/08 11:38 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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so i think i'm gonna try to get a job at the post office. i know that they drug test though and i've been smokin daily. what do you guys think my best bet to get a job there is? i was thinking about getting some fake pee, but i'm a little worried about getting caught. is it illegal to use fake pee? what would happen if i got caught? would a drug test for the government be harder to beat than normal drug tests? would a drink work?
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion



Registered: 08/11/99
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Loc: Trump Train
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You sure they test?
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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spieone
aspiring amateurmycologist


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Sell Your Soul
Nutmeg shaman



Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 40,819
Loc: Over there
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Your best bet would be to wait 30 days after not having smoked (or done any other illicit drug). Then apply.
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im_on_a_boat
Stranger

Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 3,950
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ya quit smoking now and wait a month to apply..
and if and when you get hired, dont start smoking again..
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion



Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: post office drug test [Re: spieone]
#7914372 - 01/22/08 11:51 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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Nice link.
All that sounds right to me.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion



Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Completely disagree. Any drug test can be beaten
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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nightkrawler
explorer


Registered: 06/18/04
Posts: 2,980
Loc: new england
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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yea, they definitely drug test, it seems like it's only a 1 time thing though, so i would start smoking again after the drug test.
if i have to wait a month before i apply for this job then i'm probably going to just find something else, because i'm pretty broke right now and need work asap.
just trying to weigh out my options a little here.
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Sell Your Soul
Nutmeg shaman



Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 40,819
Loc: Over there
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Couldn't you get a quickie-job at some fast-food place for the one month you have to wait? What about Unemployment Insurance?
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nightkrawler
explorer


Registered: 06/18/04
Posts: 2,980
Loc: new england
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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i do smoke a lot so if it involves using my own pee, i'd probably just rather wait then doing the whole water and creatine thing. i've done it before and it isn't fun.
i just graduated college and didnt have a job before, so i couldnt collect unemployment. maybe i will just get a job at hollywood video or something in the meantime, but i fear once i have a job i'm not going to stop smoking. i could just go for a better job at metlife, where fake pee would definitely work because i have friends who work there and that method worked for them. i just wish i knew if the fake pee method has a chance of working for a government job at the post office, and knew what i'd be risking if something went wrong.
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  Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien
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spieone
aspiring amateurmycologist


Registered: 01/19/08
Posts: 116
Last seen: 15 years, 5 days
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my advice then would be to use someone elses clean urine. It can be put in a condom (non lubed of course) or a washed out bottle for eye drops, nose spray, etc. Use a hand warmer and keep it up under your nuts, if it feels like you pissed yourself when it's under there then it's probably warm enough, temp needs to be 94-100 degrees farenheit so make sure it is pretty damn warm before you stick it under your nuts and go in there.
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eggystardust
Viva elDirector!

Registered: 06/25/03
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Re: post office drug test [Re: spieone]
#7914623 - 01/22/08 01:04 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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last i heard they used a hair test around these parts...
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LosAngelesGraff
Ca Shroomite




Registered: 06/09/06
Posts: 7,047
Loc: Califas
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do they test for shrooms and lsd?
if they do how long does shrooms stay in the system?
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Cannabischarlie
Resident badass


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I would do the fake pee.
It is worth the money.
I never worry about drug tests ever because of it.
You can always get the cheaper wizzinator clone if you think you are going to be watched.
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trent
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you know why they drug test at postal jobs dont you? there is a high chance that their employees go mad on the job and they dont need mitigating factors to increase the chances.
on a side note..what is it about the influx of morons who keep asking drug test related questions...
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