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OfflineSra_sephiroth0
Malicious Puppet's clone
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Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 411
Last seen: 16 years, 6 days
loss of a former self
    #7911987 - 01/21/08 08:43 PM (16 years, 11 days ago)

over the course of the last year it was as tho a spirit had totally taken over me and let me gaze thru its eyes which were on another plane and gave me access to its energy, and then wanted me to do tasked now that i have done them the spirit has fleeted and gone. Its fucking strange and wierd. For that year it was like i was one with shiva knew all sorts of things that i had not before and encountered things based on all of the litature of shiva and i was like i lived that. My life for that bit was all about reuniting that spirit with another spirit at had lost who was in a friend of mine. both of us were fueled by another source another energy from another plane or something, one day we finally achieved oneness and the spirits enjoyed that oneness and took it as a chance to flee us and left both of us as who we were before it all yet rememebering all that went down.
this blows my fucking mind now that all this has passed its like being a completly differnt person but not at all because i was who i was before it all. i just wonder if any one else has lived something like that. it just really is like a kick in the head, the only other way i could maybe describe it was like infatuation with someone like when your in a relationship and that ends but this was far deeper.
but im left with just the feeling of i want that spirit i want to be that person who was once myself but really looking at it it wasnt myself.
i might as well add when i would trip with people they would see shiva or kali and ussually go to another plane, and one dear friend would always see me as shiva in full attire. its had fucking crazy

so has anyone else had such a drastic change in themselve or precption?


--------------------
"You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain...""
you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours


Edited by Sra_sephiroth0 (01/21/08 08:44 PM)


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: loss of a former self [Re: Sra_sephiroth0]
    #7913954 - 01/22/08 09:38 AM (16 years, 10 days ago)

I felt this for about 6 months. All that happened is my old programs which are deep and reinforced by culture daily reinstated their predominance. There is no false and real self. It is all one thingy. Your work has just begun. It will get really weird now if you continue down the rabbit hole.

Endeavor to persevere.:crazy2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Edited by Icelander (01/22/08 09:39 AM)


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Offlinejonathanseagull
Cool!
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Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 993
Last seen: 10 years, 11 days
Re: loss of a former self [Re: Icelander]
    #7914450 - 01/22/08 12:19 PM (16 years, 10 days ago)

Yeah. When you get down to the subconscious programming, things may become observable through symbols. That could explain the Shiva association. You should check out Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces to see how humanity has always understood our life's journey through symbolic myth.


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Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.


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OfflineSra_sephiroth0
Malicious Puppet's clone
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Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 411
Last seen: 16 years, 6 days
Re: loss of a former self [Re: jonathanseagull]
    #7914795 - 01/22/08 01:57 PM (16 years, 10 days ago)

maybe all i know is i have many many more trips to "super hell" on many differnt levels of it with all sorts of people. That rabbit hole is a bitch.


--------------------
"You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain...""
you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours


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