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PFunkadelic
Eager

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 69
Loc: Up on Cripple Creek
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Any chance of recovering lost memories?
#7911725 - 01/21/08 08:02 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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***The description of my lost memory is a little graphic. I mean it's not too bad, but I wouldn't want to read this post if I were tripping...***
I haven't tripped in around 5 years now because I was in the navy during that time period. I am getting ready for my first trip since, and a thought just occurred to me. While I was in the service I was involved in a horrifying accident that almost took my life, but instead left me in nearly the same shape I was in, but with VA benefits. Now I have absolutely no memory of the accident, almost no memories of six months in either direction from it, and very few memories of my life prior to the accident. I'm actually pretty content with the situation as it stands, and don't really have any desire or repulsion to regaining most of the memories, with the exception of the accident itself and the hospital stay. I DO NOT want these memories back, as I was fully conscious with ~30 major facial fractures and an open skull, lungs punctured 7 times, and every ligament in my right knee severed.
The incident does not bother me at all, I am completely cool with it, I am not at all worried about being mentally tormented by it on a trip. I guess you would say that I am very much at peace with the experience. I am, however, worried about recovering the memories of it. I believe without memory, there is no pain, so I am completely content with never remembering it. But I have, occasionally, remembered certain parts of the hospital stay or my previous life that were previously unaccessible (I mean I remembered them suddenly, without the aid of psychedelics).
I know that psychedelics can cause you to recover repressed memories, but I wanted to see if anyone had experienced this, if there is any information on the frequency of this effect, how traumatic it was, etc. I realize that most people do not possess any repressed memories and that odds are pretty good that nobody will have any light to shed on it, but I wanted to check.
If it matters, I have current plans for both psilocybin and mescaline usage.
(I did find a somewhat related post here, but he did not actually recover the memory, he just felt that he was on the verge of doing so. I also found several in which people were questioning whether their recovered memory was true or not... but that leaves room for doubt.)
-------------------- My posts do not elicit responses... Don't feel bad.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: PFunkadelic]
#7911891 - 01/21/08 08:26 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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If you really don't want to recover those memories, I would be very careful, because there's no guarantee you won't remember. I've never recovered a repressed memory on psychs (I'm not sure I have any) but I have recovered repressed feelings and emotions that go along with memories, and even that can be very intense.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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PFunkadelic
Eager

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 69
Loc: Up on Cripple Creek
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: g00ru]
#7912048 - 01/21/08 08:50 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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I've also considered the opposite end of the spectrum: supervised tripping to seek out the memory and hopefully put it behind me.
But I'm too scared, for now at least. I mean, thats gotta be a shitty-ass memory to have while you are tripping. 
I think I'm just going to be especially cautious in reacquainting myself with the hallucinogenic world via a very conservative ramp-up in dosages to increase my chances of being prepared if that moment arrives. Additionally, I believe I will avoid acid altogether as I have heard many more experiences of repressed memory recovery on acid than other psychedelics.
But if anyone has any helpful advice on confronting the memory during a trip if it emerges, I would be grateful!
Additionally, if there is anyone else out there who has any before/after experience with tripping after a traumatic brain injury, a PM or a post would be greatly appreciated! I'm not sure if I should expect anything different now that my brain is different... Though honestly brain cell killers like alcohol concern me more.
-------------------- My posts do not elicit responses... Don't feel bad.
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deranger


Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 6,840
Loc: off the wall
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: PFunkadelic]
#7912215 - 01/21/08 09:17 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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if you are scared then that may manifest 10-fold during the trip. the trick is to accept all possibilities and enter the trip in a completely fearless mindset. memory of your past experience doesn't have to bring back memories of pain, it could be the opposite. it depends on how you enter the trip. i would suggest starting out with a very low dose and dose more if needed. this will allow you to have more control over where your trip goes.
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KrishnaDreamer
I bleed nicotine...


Registered: 09/23/07
Posts: 4,132
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: g00ru]
#7912287 - 01/21/08 09:27 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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damn they do some MIB shit on you?
i'd say as long as your feeling good and in a good mood, its all good. the past is the past. look toward the future.
-------------------- Everybody's a ninja...
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: KrishnaDreamer]
#7913325 - 01/22/08 12:42 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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I would take it easy explore your psychedelics slowly build your resiliance and appreciation of your inner landscape with gentleness. in this way you will naturally come to trust yourself thouroughly. that is what is key. neither avoid nor approach your missing memory directly. what is there is there. my prescription is lower doses rather than heroic ones.
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manyc
♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫


Registered: 01/03/04
Posts: 571
Loc: Axis Mundi
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: PFunkadelic]
#7913356 - 01/22/08 12:54 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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That's fucking intense, man. It's a good thing you came out alright, though. You have to remember how much that matters man.
I believe almost anything you want to know about your own past can be uncovered by exploring your subconscious and breaking through to the other side with psychadelics.
I've had a few repressed memories come up, but I don't remember being on anything other than weed when I dug them up from some random external stimuli. I had some weird experiences at this babysitter daycare type thing I went to as a kid. I remember being naked in a kiddie pool with about 6 other kids, and we were all standing there naked, being sprayed down with a water hose. It was cold as a mother fucker.
I don't understand the memory, but I hope one day I will find some kind of answer to why this humiliating experience happened.
But can't imagine going through such a situation as yours, but I imagine coming out of it alive really gives you a renewed sense of living.
I think you will have an earth-shattering experience - in the best way imaginable.
I think you'll realize how damn lucky you are to be alive after such an occurrence, and overwhelming joy and gratitude will flow like a river throughout your being.
I believe you'll find absolute closure.
--------------------
Hemp could Save the World. "There is no flag that is large enough, to hide the shame of a man in cuffs." -Serj Tankian Know Thyself. "If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence Mckenna
Edited by manyc (01/22/08 12:56 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: manyc]
#7913781 - 01/22/08 05:26 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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that's pretty optimistc i guess closure finds some people i find openness
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PFunkadelic
Eager

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 69
Loc: Up on Cripple Creek
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: redgreenvines]
#7914653 - 01/22/08 01:13 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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I think you would all be quite surprised at how much of a non-issue the incident has become. I'm not scared of getting in a mindfuck over the incident, because almost every way it has influenced my life has been positive. I mean the shit sucked, but my life is better because of it.
And fuck yeah I'm scared of it popping up during a trip when I'm not prepared for it, imagine remembering that shit, with your head all opened up and shit. But I don't think I'm scared in a way that will cause me to remember it. I am logically scared: I know that it would suck. But it doesn't haunt me, or fill my thoughts, and I don't dwell on the fear. So I'm not too worried about it, I'm just too scared to seek it out. Maybe in the future this will become more of an option, as I gain experience.
I think there was a lot of good advice in there. I will not seek it or run from it, because if I start running from it, I am making it a bad memory, when memories only become good or bad because of how we think of them. I need to spend some time, I think, preparing myself for the possibility so I can see it as a spectator and learn from it, if it happens. I guess I mean I need to prepare my mind to be somewhat detached from the memory if it surfaces, so I don't have to be afraid or feel pain.
And, of course, I will approach the higher doses slowly and with caution. Even though I love them... I don't want to ruin it by getting in a hurry.
-------------------- My posts do not elicit responses... Don't feel bad.
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SDP
ChronicAficionado




Registered: 01/21/05
Posts: 1,297
Last seen: 5 months, 28 days
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Re: Any chance of recovering lost memories? [Re: PFunkadelic]
#7914843 - 01/22/08 02:14 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
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I've found that emotionally traumatic as well as just regular memories that have long been forgotten can resurface on mushrooms.
Every time I have this "remembering" it is ALWAYS something I wasn't remembering "right" or I remembered the experience based on how my ego felt at that time.
I found that remembering things on mushrooms, especially painful things, tends to help me TRULY come to terms with the memory. I see something that happened from a perspective I had never seen before.
In your case, you could remember your good memories with a whole new psychedelically enhanced perception and remember your traumatic ones with a new severity to give you a greater appreciation for your life before, after, and the years to come after the incident.
Be careful though... your playing with fire. All it takes is the wrong mindset or wrong combination of thoughts and those exaggerated perspectives will work against your best interest...
-------------------- Teonanacatl, open up my eyes This sacrament, this prayer, beyond the world of lies Guide me clearly through that which I dont understand Give me strength to find the path Help me fight any demons as you flow through me wholely This is my prayer, that you protect me from evil, and bring me closer to peace And open up my eyes, so i can see things as you do Amen
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