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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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I feel like fuck
#7906145 - 01/20/08 03:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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im just down in the dumps.
no job, no money. no real life to speak of
its juct this crippling feeling that i am worthless and i am gonna die. usualy i can just absorb it and go on with my day. but this futile job hunting is just getting me down
the only thing that even comes close to making me feel good is thumping my bass.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906147 - 01/20/08 03:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Get rid of your crutches, and you'll learn how to walk with your head up. That's the lesson I've recently learned. Whatever those crutches are, that's up to you to determine.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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good dvise. im not sure what crutches to get rid of. i mean right now im just kinda stuck. no where to go
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906162 - 01/20/08 03:33 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
notapillow said: good dvise. im not sure what crutches to get rid of. i mean right now im just kinda stuck. no where to go
Weed's a crutch, one that breeds contentment.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906175 - 01/20/08 03:37 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear of your slump, buddy. Just thump that bass and shoulder through the darkness, my friend. You'll be alright. Plus, you live in Marin fucking county!! One of the most beautiful places that's near alot more beautiful places in the country. Go out and watch the sunset. That always makes me feel better. I'll think good thoughts for you, too.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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well if i had weed right now no doubt i would feel more content. but i have none, and will have none for at leased a while. but thats not truly the heart of the matter. its not even like im feeling sorry for myself. i just feel inadiquite.
and no there seriously are not any jobs in Eugene oregon.
constantly scanning craigs list to no avail can just get deppressing ya know
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: blissedout]
#7906186 - 01/20/08 03:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
blissedout said: Sorry to hear of your slump, buddy. Just thump that bass and shoulder through the darkness, my friend. You'll be alright. Plus, you live in Marin fucking county!! One of the most beautiful places that's near alot more beautiful places in the country. Go out and watch the sunset. That always makes me feel better. I'll think good thoughts for you, too.
i moved to Eugene OR blissed
back in amrin i was living the cream dream, but i sacrafied it all to be with the one i love.
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blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906188 - 01/20/08 03:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I thought you lived outside SF. Oh well. Eugene's effing sweet, too! Jst go and find a shit job to fill some time while making at least a minimal paycheck. you can do that to at least fill in the idle time.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: blissedout]
#7906201 - 01/20/08 03:45 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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lord i anmn trying. every free day i have for the most part is deadicated to looking for work. its just not that easy
i love it here in oregon. weather, people, and scenery are all awsome. but i just feel like im taking steps backwards while im here.
i cant be livng in the past either tho
fak
ima go thumb through my marin picture book faze out into memory
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marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: blissedout]
#7906216 - 01/20/08 03:48 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah man, just keep playing bass everytime you feel down. I know it doesn't solve anything really, but making music when I'm feeling down always seems to bring me right back up.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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it solves everything for me. but i dunno. i just dont feel like it now.
i am a sac today
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Coaster
Baʿal
Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 33,501
Loc: Deep in the Valley
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906243 - 01/20/08 03:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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if it makes u feel any better u got me abscessed with grateful dead
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: Coaster]
#7906245 - 01/20/08 04:00 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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abssesed?
well that does make me feel good
i dunno
this is just one of those laz idel hands kinda days.
i can only hope i can make another 200 dollers in 10 days otherwise i have no house
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Madtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,287
Loc: The Ocean of Notions
Last seen: 7 months, 20 days
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906301 - 01/20/08 04:23 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I U Pillow.
Why not go to school? You're still young, you live in a place with a great educational system, and while your spelling and grammar are terrible, I get the idea that you're at least halfway intelligent.
Hell, most of the kids in college are dumb as fuck anyway.
Surely there is SOMETHING you like to do that could earn you a buck in this capitalist society? I mean, even if you don't see yourself as a "college type", you might as well go for a few years. They give any moron off the street a student loan, and if you have a part-time job while you're in school you can live pretty high off the hog.
Irresponsibly, of course.
Don't be so down. Listen, I'm 25K in debt to my student loan companies, I have a degree thats completely worthless where I live, its 15 degrees below zero outside, and I have to move a bunch of furniture to my second floor apartment without any help.
And I stopped smoking pot a week ago, so I'm crabby as hell.
And I have a couple of ounces just sitting in my closet.
Staring at me.
Hungrily.
It could be worse.
-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent. -Cormac MacCarthy He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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thanks bro
yeah. school
i dunno iv been free from it for just over 1 whole year. last year i actualy was proud of myself. i was living in some sort of sureal artistic dream. everyday i was blessed to be able to play and create with kids. all day long. i felt like i had an inportant job to do, and i loved doing it. i was making money and life was pretty good. exept for the fact my gf lived 500 mils away.
now that im up here and i truly realise how hard shit can be day to day it just mnakes me wonder what if anything, was the right choice.
education is not my thing. infact i find it offensive for the most part.
im all about learning, and creating. thaose are things you do yourself, somtimes with the guided hand of a close freind or mentor. education is somthing that is done TO YOU. often times you have to pay for it, and that IT is genneraly just a peice of paper. no real knolage.
MUSIC. is all i have. its all i can do above average.
playing bass maks it appere as tho i do have somthign inside of me worth sharing. just knowing that i am able to hit the right notes, im able to compose, and to inprovise makes me feel better.
sittin on the docks of the bay wastin time
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906346 - 01/20/08 04:35 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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i really aprciate that post. as my well learned ness is not always that evident over the intronetz
truth is its too late for me on alot of things. im nt gonna go back and learn how to spell and do myy times tables at this late stage. i will survive. as long as people still crave low end vibrations i will have a place in this world
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DiabloSmurf
Shake it.. Shakeit.. sugaree!
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,177
Loc: Ohio
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906362 - 01/20/08 04:38 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm not entirely sure how it is out there, But are there any temp services? Those have always helped me out when i didn't have a job. Yeah they suck but it's work.
Craigslist is how i got my job I'm at now, but it took FOREVER!..
I've been down in the dumps most of my life so it didn't bug me as much. I finally figured out what i was doing wrong. It was almost like i had no motivation at all.
I wish you luck man, my prayers go out to you. Hopefully something will come along!. If you ever need anyone to hit up or talk to man, I know I'm a stranger but hit me up!.
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Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906384 - 01/20/08 04:42 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
notapillow said: im just down in the dumps.
no job, no money. no real life to speak of
its juct this crippling feeling that i am worthless and i am gonna die. usualy i can just absorb it and go on with my day. but this futile job hunting is just getting me down
the only thing that even comes close to making me feel good is thumping my bass.
I feel you. I've been in a slump for a year or more.
I just deal.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: Tangerines]
#7906443 - 01/20/08 04:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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thanks guys. it means alot
i know full well i have it good in many regards.
i just need to deal like you said tang
i just ate some pizza so life is looking up slightly
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Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I feel like fuck [Re: notapillow]
#7906452 - 01/20/08 04:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Man I went to a Chinese Buffet and I feel like I need to go dump 10 pounds in the toilet.
Playin Edward 40 Hands later tonight.
And btw, I noticed you eat a SHIT LOAD of pizza.
Edited by Tangerines (01/20/08 04:56 PM)
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